Part 11-Make Me Love You

 

I knew I heard it, I heard her voice speaking softly. Or I was imagining things again? It could happened – it’s been a while since I took my medication. I might be depressed again and I just wanted to hear the words I yearned desperately since the day I am in love with her. I could be hallucinating. I hurt her. All I wanted was to hear something from her to comfort that guilt. But, deep within me, I was sure. She have said it. We kissed. I thought it was nothing but an imagination of mine. Yet, I felt it ; those soft lips of hers. It was such a blissful taste. That feeling still tingled on my own lips. I couldn’t simply get over it. No, I don’t want to forget it because it has been a while since I felt this – love. I wanted to hold on to that short memory we shared and never let it go. Kim Taeyeon, you’re always so silent. Never spoke a word. But, was it real? Did you really have said those words to me? Did you really kissed me? What is the relationship between us? Our bond? Is it more than I’ve expected?

 

What am I really to you?

 

Jessica’s eyes fluttered open when she felt a strong vibration just beside her pillow. She lazily reaches out her hand to grab her phone and sees an incoming text message from Tiffany. She already guessed the woman wanted to see Taeyeon again. Without opening it, she puts her phone back and close her eyes to continue her sleep when she feels a burden shifting on her arm. She thinks for a while, only to lowly gasps to know Taeyeon sleeps next to her. Well, it wasn’t the first time. They’ve been this close before, hugging each other bodies and share their warmth. But, it doesn’t mean Jessica didn’t feel any less anxious. Carefully and slowly turning her head around, she met with Taeyeon’s face ; eyes close and mouth slightly open. She hears her calm breathing. It was simply a beautiful sight to see waking up in the morning. Jessica stares at her – as always observing her features whenever they are up-close like this. Taeyeon is beautiful, she thought. She was beautiful before when they first met but she glows up much more after being together these past few days.

 

She doesn’t gained weight drastically, but she looks better with her face and body not being too skinny like it used to be. Her black hair that was now silver in colour changed the way she looked so much. Her skin doesn’t look so pale and her lips look more pinkish. Lips. That lips that kissed Jessica that night. It was a short one but she can remember well how soft and plump it was. She kissed people before, yet nothing compares to Taeyeon’s kiss. She gently tucks her silver hair behind her ear to have a better look at her face. Jessica bit down her lip. She would be lying if she didn’t yearn for another kiss especially they were this close with faces just inches away from one another. She could just lean forward and kiss Taeyeon right there. But, she held it back. Staring at her ‘crush,’ she couldn’t help but wondering the same question that hunted her mind since last night. She cannot think of a reason why it happened. Why had Taeyeon kissed her in the first place?

 

There are many possibilities; one is that maybe after what had happened between them earlier yesterday, Taeyeon have been more emotionally unstable. She could have done it out of the reason of guilt. Yet, it was not an enough satisfying reason for her. Second ; Jessica, for the first time, shared her own story – her memory with her last night. Taeyeon could have felt sympathy and decided the kiss would have made her heart feel better. Third ; she might be caught in the moment that she just go with it.

 

Jessica have thought of many possibilities in her mind. But, it still didn’t solve her confusion. To have an answer to her question – what was the kiss really meant? She couldn’t help but to wonder of Taeyeon’s real intention of doing it. Jessica stares at the face of the woman she loves as her thumb gently caressing on her cheek. “I don’t get it. Do you know how confuse you are making me? How my heart beating fast remembering that feeling over and over again-.” She stiffens when Taeyeon suddenly shifts her head a little. She quickly pulls her hand away before Taeyeon slowly open her eyes. She immediately gives a smile. “Hey.” She casually greeted. Taeyeon blink a few times before finally smiling back at her therapist. Even when she had just woken up from sleep, she still looks beautiful. Well, that is Jessica’s thought. They stare for a few seconds in silent until Jessica clears to ease her nervous heart.

 

“D-do you, mm, sleep well?” She asked – in a rather awkward voice tone. Taeyeon smiles a little while giving a nod. She rubs her eye in an adorable way. Jessica smiles a little by her cute gesture. Her eyes land on the bandages around Taeyeon’s small hand. A soft sigh escape through her lips. “Does your wound still hurts?” She asked. Taeyeon looks at her palm for a short few seconds before smiling. She takes Jessica’s hand and intertwined their fingers. She shook her head ; telling her doctor she is perfectly fine. Jessica could feel the warmth from Taeyeon’s hand and it calms her heart. It’s that simplest interaction that makes her flutter with joy. That one short moment that she loves to share with her dearest patient. They continue to just lay on the bed, holding to each other’s hands while staring at one another’s eyes until-

 

“Taeyeon, what am I to you?”

 

Taeyeon have a questioning look on her face. Jessica realizes the things in her mind just slip out from . But, she didn’t want to stop herself. She wanted to know. She needs to know. “I want to know. Who am I really to you? I kept thinking ever since last night. I don’t know if you do it out of spontaneous reaction or- you have another reason to it.” She pauses for a short few seconds. “Why did you kiss me?” She asked. Taeyeon’s eyes widen into a round shape. She slowly pulls back her hand as she avoids eye contact with Jessica. It was a sign; she did remember what she had done and fully realized she did ‘kissed’ Jessica that night. Was it an embarrassing to do? Or she just wanted to forget about it? Jessica isn’t sure. “I’m just confuse, Taengoo. I want to know the reason. I couldn’t get it out from my head and my heart just beats crazily remembering it back. I didn’t get why you do it in the first place-?” She holds herself back, knowing she have sounded so desperate. Taeyeon must’ve felt uncomfortable. The status of their relationship was never the main problem anyways. It’ll just create more troubles and make things more complicated.

 

“Never mind.” Jessica sighed with a weak smile. “It was stupid of me to make this as if it’s a huge problem.” She slowly gets up to sit on the bed. Taeyeon’s eyes follow her movements. “Tiffany’s coming. We should be getting up now.” She is about to stand up when Taeyeon holds her wrist- stopping her from going. She turns around and look at her patient. The silver-haired woman sits on the bed- still holding onto Jessica’s wrist – as she looks straight into those brown eyes. Jessica smiles a little. “It’s alright. I know it made you feel uncomfortable. I shouldn’t have asked. You don’t need to answer-.” She feels Taeyeon’s grip getting slightly tighter. She raise her eyebrows. “Tae? What’s wrong?”

 

Taeyeon, of course, didn’t talk. But, she wanted to show through her actions. She moves a bit forward to be closer and hold Jessica on the cheeks. She looks at her- with eyes filled with sincerity. Jessica feels nervous; her heart pounded so fast and she can feel her insides fluttering by their closeness. “Tae-,” Taeyeon moves forward, leaning her forehead with Jessica’s with their lips only being a few inches apart. They stay like that- hearing one another’s beating hearts and anxious breathings. Jessica holds Taeyeon’s hand, gently drawing invisible circles on top of her palm.

 

“Do you love me?”

 

Taeyeon close the gap between them- softly kissing Jessica’s pink lips. Jessica close her eyes – savouring the taste of those lips she felt last night. It was like a dream ; the kind that she never wants to wake up and wants to feel forever. Jessica wrap her arms around Taeyeon’s waist, pulling their bodies closer as the kiss went a bit rougher. You can feel the tense, the desperation from both of them. They have scarred hearts after losing the people they cherished. It was that fear and trauma that led them to have stronger feelings. To know one another better and to love each other better than anyone else they met. They are scared if they let go, they won’t be able to be together again. Jessica gently pushes Taeyeon back onto the bed and her lips found itself to kiss the same one once more. Taeyeon have her hands tangled on Jessica’s blonde locks. Their breaths turned heavier. Jessica have her hand went into Taeyeon’s shirt; caressing her flat stomach gently making Taeyeon to slightly squirmed in delight.

 

This is wrong. So wrong. Yet, it felt so right.

 

Soon enough, Jessica’s hands have taken off her pyjama, revealing Taeyeon’s small framed body. Taeyeon didn’t seem to mind at all. In fact, she, too is ing Jessica’s pyjama- pulling it downwards and revealing her lightly tanned, slim body. It was that moment Jessica realizes a tattoo on Taeyeon’s neck. It was some kind of a sign. She traces the tip of her finger on the permanent ink tattooed near her small ear. “I never knew you have a tattoo.” She chuckles in amuse. Probably since all this time, she never really focused on that area. Taeyeon shows a toothy grin. Her eyes move to a huge, visible scar on Jessica’s upper chest. Her smile is replace with a worried look. Jessica follow her gaze. “I had this scar when I was 19.” She looks at Taeyeon. “I just had an accident. Nothing to worry.” She lied. It was a scar with another hidden story. Taeyeon sigh softly before kissing it in the most gentleness way. Her lips feels like feather touching the skin.

 

Jessica smiles widely. “I’m fine. In fact, it’s a memory I somehow would never able to forget.” She hold Taeyeon’s cheek. “Can I kiss you again?” Taeyeon wrap her arms around her neck as a sign of ‘yes’ and she immediately move forward to kiss her lips. They, again, engaged in a quite passionate kiss. Taeyeon can feel her dead heart beating crazily once more – her stomach have butterflies – her insides filled with joy. Those feelings she haven’t felt for the past three years. Those that she had missed due to her trauma. Yes, that terrifying trauma. Suddenly, she see lights. She could hear a loud honk and a crash close to her ears. Oozing, red liquids on her trembling hands. She can feel the cold, rain drops wetting her whole body. She looks down to see her past lover – lying dead on the cement road. Her blonde hair turns reddish and eyes shut tight. Her heart beat fast. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up!

 

“Soonkyu!”

 

Taeyeon pushes Jessica away from her as she breathes heavily with wide eyes. Her forehead is sweating and heart thumping so fast. Jessica sees the sudden, terrified expression on hers’. Did she do something wrong? Have she gone too far, perhaps? “Taengoo, what’s wrong?” She asked worriedly. Taeyeon looks at her with a pale face. She shook her head and quickly gets up from the bed. She tries to leave but Jessica knew something must’ve gone wrong. She stands up and caught Taeyeon’s wrist. “Taeng, d-did I went too far with you? I’m sorry if I did.” She apologized. Taeyeon still have her back facing Jessica. She didn’t want to turn around and face her. “Tae, look at me.” Jessica said. “Look at me-,” She turns Taeyeon around and was surprise to see her eyes breaming with tears. “T-Taeyeon, I’m – I’m so sorry. I went too far.” She quickly pulls into a hug and caressed her back. “I’m really sorry.” Taeyeon shook her head. Her hands are clenching onto Jessica’s loosen pyjama.

 

The blonde sigh heavily. “Hey, let’s just forget about the kiss earlier. I shouldn’t have done that to you-.” Taeyeon immediately looks at her while shaking her head. Jessica raise her eyebrow. Wasn’t the reason that she pushed her away earlier was because that she went too far? She stares at her and realizes there is a glimpse of pain in her eyes. Did the kiss made Taeyeon reminisce of what had happened in the past? “Did you remember about her? That accident?” Taeyeon slowly nods her head. She once again wrap her arms around Jessica’s waist – laying her face on the crock of her neck. Jessica could feel tears running down onto her shoulder but she didn’t care. She holds Taeyeon tighter in her arms. They just stood there, hugging one another as if their lives depended on it.

 

“It must be scary remembering it again, right? I know how terrifying it can be.” Jessica whispered. She understands exactly what Taeyeon feels – having flashbacks of those times that you wished to never go back but cannot help but getting pulled in. She wanted to run away too from having to ever remember about Krystal. How she died. How she couldn’t save her life in time. Sometimes, Jessica wanted to just get herself into an accident so her memories will be wipe away. At least, it won’t hurt her. It’s the same with Taeyeon too. Jessica let go of Taeyeon to look at her. She wipe the tears on her cheeks while giving a smile to ease her broken heart. “You might remembered those memories because you’re afraid if you love someone, you might feel the same pain all over again. It tortures you that you felt like dying.” Jessica place her hands on Taeyeon’s cheeks. “But, I’ll assure you that I won’t ever leave your side. I will always be here whenever you need me. I’ll protect you and won’t let you get hurt. I—I love you.”

 

The corner of Taeyeon’s lips go upwards when Jessica said those three words. There is no need to hide anymore. Both of them know that they have feelings for each other since a long time ago. Taeyeon knows to herself that she started to develop feelings since the day they were in that solitary confinement. Jessica managed to talked to her. To reached the deepest corner of her empty, painful heart. To pulled her out from her misery. To finally make her feel love again. Taeyeon might have the memories of her old lover still lingering inside – making her scared to love someone. But, Jessica, she can change that. Taeyeon just need to open her closed heart to accept her. She uses her index finger to write invisible words on Jessica’s chest. At first, Jessica feels a bit fluster but it soon gone when she distinguish what Taeyeon have written.

 

“I love you.”

 

Jessica chuckles, her lips are smiling so wide that she could feel her cheeks are hurting. Taeyeon looks at her and shows that toothy smile that the blonde comes to love. They only stare at each other- admiring their face features and looking at every details that they do not want to miss. Jessica wrap her arms on Taeyeon’s waist as she tilt her head a little to the side. “So, does this mean you’re my – girlfriend?” She teasingly asked. Taeyeon pouts as she frowns which panics Jessica a bit. Taeyeon once again write invisible words on Jessica’s chest like she did earlier. “Lover.” Jessica couldn’t help but giggle. Taeyeon can be a little childish sometimes but she wouldn’t mind. “Sure, you’re my lover and I’m your lover.” Taeyeon’s face reddens when Jessica said that so she quickly hides it by hugging her new lover again. Jessica laughs softly at her action. “Yah, you love hugging me so much?” Taeyeon nods. “Then, how about kissing me?” Taeyeon looks at her and Jessica did not expect that she would kiss her first. She could feel the young doctor of hers smiling through the kiss. Jessica pulls Taeyeon on the waist as she tilts her head in the opposite direction.

 

“Ding dong.” They end the kiss when they heard the doorbell rings.

 

“Open the door! Jessie!” Tiffany yelled from outside. Her loud voice could penetrate through the thick door.

 

“Jessie?” Jessica raised her eyebrow. Taeyeon chuckles. She knows how her best friend can be very friendly to people that she just knows. She give them nicknames even if they just met. “Jessie, come on. I miss Tae!” She shouted once more. Jessica groans a little as she sulks that their privacy is rudely interrupted. “I want to kiss and hug you more.” Jessica whined with her head laying on the older woman’s shoulder. Taeyeon giggles at how whiny her doctor can be. She pecks on Jessica’s cheek. She didn’t need to talk for Jessica to understand what’s in her mind. Jessica sighs, “fine, go clean yourself. I’ll go open the door for Tiffany.” Taeyeon kisses her once again on the cheek before happily running with baby steps to the bathroom. Jessica couldn’t help but smiling like a foolish kid. “Jesus, she really likes kissing me.”

 

“Jess!” Tiffany can be heard shouting again. Jessica quickly takes off her pyjama ( thanks to Taeyeon) and wears a t-shirt before running to open the door. “H-Hey.” She greeted.

 

“What took you so long? The patbingsoo is going to melt.” Tiffany entered into the apartment by herself. Jessica let her be. She hurries to the kitchen (it is easy since the apartment is not that huge) and put the four containers inside the fridge. “There you go.” She looks at Jessica that just enters the kitchen. Her eyes went from head to toe. “Seriously? It’s already past 12 and you just woke up?” She said. Considering how dishevelled Jessica’s hair looks like.

 

“We were tired—after yesterday’s session. Things went a bit chaotic.” Jessica explained as she rubbed the back of her sore neck. “Ah, did you come alone?”

 

“No, Yoona’s here with me. She just went back to her shop to pick up some flowers. It’s weird. She suddenly said it when we got here.” Tiffany made herself comfortable and sits at the dining table after taking off her coat. “Do you want anything? Coffee?” Jessica asked while approaching one of the cabinets.

 

“Somehow, you read my mind well. A cup of coffee would be nice. I couldn’t sleep last night.” Tiffany said – her fingers massaging her temples.

 

Jessica chuckles. “Can’t blame yourself. You must’ve been excited to see Taeyeon again after all those years.” She finished making the coffee. She puts the cup on the table and sits the opposite direction from Tiffany. The red-headed woman smiles a little. “Yes, it’s been too long since I saw her. I’m just really happy to see she is doing well.” She looks at Jessica. “I owe that to you, Jessie. Thanks for taking care of her.”

 

“I just wanted the best for Taeyeon. I really care about her. The last thing I want is for her to get hurt again. It’s enough that she has to go through all of these things alone. I want to always be by her side whenever she needs me.” There is a short silence after that. Both of them just sit there – not looking at each other.

 

“Jessie, do you perhaps have feelings for Tae?” Jessica immediately shot a look at the woman sitting in front of her. Tiffany bit the corner of her bottom lip as her eyes stare at the coffee that she have taken a few sips. “I know it sounded weird. But, it might not be.” She straighten her back and looks at Jessica. “I am very observant. From the way I see it, you seemed to care for Taeyeon more than a doctor should be to a patient. The things you did for her, risking your own job and putting your dignity in the line, you only did these because you have feelings for her. Isn’t it?”

 

“Tiff,” Jessica takes a deep breath. “I did it because I know how much she deserved it. I want to help her.”

 

“I may be mistaken. But, I know my thoughts are not wrong. Jessie, I won’t hate you or feel disgust at you for falling in love with Taeyeon. Aside from fictional love stories, I never seen a physiotherapist goes this far to help a patient. Taeyeon was what, someone that no one could cure. But, you still pushed yourself and never give up on her. You go as far to put your life’s career at danger. That does not sound that you’re only doing this for the reason Taeyeon ‘deserved’ it.” She paused for a moment. “Tell me the truth.”

 

Jessica keeps herself silent. She could feel Tiffany’s stare – as if it is penetrating her mind and tells her to spill the truth. Although just moments ago Taeyeon and her confessed to one another, Jessica intends to talk about it once all of this is over. She is not ready yet to say it just yet. But, by the way Tiffany keeps on staring at her with those serious, looking eyes, Jessica has not much choice but to fulfil her curiosity. She needs to know sooner or later anyways. She breathes in deeply. “I never realized it first until I noticed how much I thought about her. I couldn’t stop thinking on how she was doing especially when she was locked up in the solitary confinement. I can’t help worrying on Taeyeon. I just wanted to do my best to protect her. I didn’t want to see her get hurt. I am sincere about my feelings for her.” She truthfully said. “I love her.”

 

There is a moment of silence after Jessica said those words. Tiffany seems to be deep in her thoughts - making Jessica getting nervous over the quietness of the red-headed woman. She opens to speak—

 

“I’m taking Taeyeon with me.” Tiffany said, her voice sounded serious. Jessica got taken aback. Did she heard it right? Or she was just imagining things again?

 

“What—?” That was the only word that managed to slip out from Jessica’s lips.

 

Tiffany deeply breathes in. She looks at the cup in her hands – staring at her fade reflection on the half-drink coffee. “I’m sorry, Jessie. But, I have thought about it—since the day you went to see me.” She looks at Jessica and she could see how hurt she is through her expression. But, Tiffany continues on talking. “I am very much grateful for what you did. You’re not only doing this for Taeyeon but it’s for the rest of us. Losing her before—makes me regret about many things. I constantly blamed myself for not being able to protect her and let her got taken away. Even if it wasn’t for you, I would never have meet her again.”

 

Jessica could feel the stinging pain in her eyes. She wanted to cry. Even when Tiffany haven’t finish her words, she knew what she wanted to say.

 

“Now that I have her back, I want to do the best I could to not make her go through the same pain again. I know I’m asking too much of you, but please—forget about your feelings for her. I want Taeyeon to live freely without having to worry and scared about love anymore. At the same time, I also want you—to not get hurt too much. It’s better for the both of you. You—understand what I’m trying to say, right?”

 

Jessica wish she didn’t. If only her head got hit and her brain cannot understand what Tiffany have said, it would be much better. Her heart won’t feel so twisted and hurt like it is at the moment. She breathes in deeply – silently if possible she thought – she didn’t want to look stress although she is. Just earlier, she was sharing such a great moment with Taeyeon. They kissed – like she had yearned for a long time. They confess to each other and got to know they love one another. Everything is going so well. Why does it have to be now?

 

She never have the intention to be selfish. But, she wanted to. She wants Taeyeon to stay with her. To always be by her side even after all of this have end. But, seeing the looks in Tiffany’s eyes, she knew she shouldn’t be cold-hearted with her decision. She bit her lower lip – her gaze is fix on the black materialistic table. What would Taeyeon think about this though? Would she think the same as hers? In just a short while, Jessica’s head spin with so many thoughts. It made her nauseous.

 

“Jessie, are you—okay?” Tiffany worriedly asked. Jessica blink her eyes and looks up to finally meet with Tiffany’s concern eyes.

 

“I’m fine.” Jessica replied.

 

“Are you sure? You don’t look okay to me. Was it—of what I’ve said? I can give you the time to think thoroughly about this.”

 

Jessica breathes in deeply once more. “What if—I didn’t want you to take her away from me?” For a short moment there, she sees Tiffany’s face turns serious. Her jaw stiffens at her words. Jessica didn’t want to say it. Heck, she wants to keep it shut inside her own head. But, her heart won’t listen to it. “I want Taeyeon to stay with me. I want us to be together.”

 

“Jessie,” Tiffany sounded stern. “Are you even listening—no, even considering what I’ve said to you? Taeyeon can barely heal from her traumatic experience. It was all because of love. What makes you think that starting a relationship with her could help her?”

 

I can help her move on. We’ve promised. The two of us – to heal our broken hearts.

 

“I believe I know what’s the best.” Jessica dared her eyes to stare into Tiffany’s strong one. Her hands have been clutching on the fabric of her pants until her knuckles have turned pale. Tiffany have turned completely serious. She no longer touch the coffee that Jessica have made for her.

 

“Believe me, Jessica. I do not want to have bad impression nor to think badly of you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for what you’ve done. But, don’t think I won’t fight you. I’m staying with my decision. I’m bringing Taeyeon with me once all of this is over.”

 

“And I won’t easily give up on her. I’m also going to fight for her whether you’ll hate me for it. This is—my decision.” Jessica replied as she locked her gaze with Tiffany’s fiery one. The air around the two women instantly changed into a heavy one. The atmosphere between them turned gloomy. Jessica didn’t care much of the obvious daggering glare Tiffany is throwing at her right now.

 

“Jessica—.”

 

Before she could say a word further, a familiar young woman walks in with a smile on her face. She feels refresh after showering; now wearing one of Jessica’s oversize tee. Knowing her presence, they quickly pretends as if the conversation did not happen. Tiffany immediately put up a smile. “Hey, Taeyeon!” She greeted her – with her usual cheerful tone. Taeyeon only waves at her with a smile. She takes a seat next to Jessica instead of her own best friend – which made Tiffany to slightly frown.

 

“You’re wearing my shirt, Taengoo. I’ve bought your own clothes, remember?” Taeyeon sniffed, a signal that Jessica could read and interpret easily. “Ah, you loved my scent.” Taeyeon smiles broadly with an excited nod. Jessica chuckles as she ruffles Taeyeon’s silvered hair. Tiffany feels left out by the two and it somewhat irritates her a bit. She clears loudly – earning their attentions. She smiles with her eyes only staring at Taeyeon, not even sparing a glance at the blonde sitting next to her.

 

“How are you feeling? Are you okay?” Taeyeon nods to the question. Tiffany let out a sigh of relief. “Good, I was worried of your condition. Especially, after all that happened in the past, I- couldn’t stop worrying.” Taeyeon looks around to search for something. She found a pad of sticky notes and a marker on the corner of the kitchen’s counter. She get up to take it before joining them again at the table. Despite having difficulties, Taeyeon is able to write properly on the sticky note.

 

I’m doing fine. You don’t have to worry much and please, don’t remember about before. It’s all in the past.

 

Tiffany smiles. “I guess I shouldn’t.” Taeyeon nods with a smile. “Ah, I bought you patbingsoo. We used to eat those a lot during the summers.” The sound of the sweet treat’s name lightens up Taeyeon’s eyes as the smile on her lips grew wider. “I’ll take it from the fridge.” Tiffany took a quick glance at Jessica – perhaps a signal to not speak of anything they have talked about earlier on. Jessica sigh silently and she finally stop thinking when Taeyeon reaches out to hold her hand under the table. Jessica smiled at her as Taeyeon did the same.

 

Their moment was only short as Tiffany soon returned to the table with the sweet treat she have bought for her sweet tooth best friend. Taeyeon’s whole face lighten up seeing the bowl of patbingsoo Tiffany have served in front of her. “From that place you really love.” She eye-smiled. Taeyeon nods. She grabs the spoon in her small hand and eats like a soft child. Tiffany stares at her with a sweet smile. Jessica chuckles when Taeyeon gives a toothy, dork smile at her. Probably telling her how good her favourite patbingsoo is – just like how it tasted despite years have passed by.

 

As she continued to eat, Tiffany decides it’s time to ask her the question. “Hey, Tae. You seemed to be much better now.” Taeyeon looks up at her and gives a nod. “Ah, I was thinking since—we haven’t been meet for a very long time. I think it’s safe to bring you out. You know, to spend our time together.” Tiffany gave a hopeful look.

 

Taeyeon turns to Jessica to see her reaction and the young psychotherapist only gives a soft, sweet smile at her. Despite having a conflict just minutes ago, Jessica didn’t want to act like a bad person and restricts Tiffany from spending quality time with her long-lost best friend. She knew the woman missed Taeyeon dearly especially after she had went through before. “You should go, Tae. You need to see the world you’ve been missing all these times.” She gently patted her head.

 

“We can go to that fun fair. I’m not sure if you remember but you used to hyped about going to that unfinished fun fair about four years ago. They finished building it last year. I thought that we could go there, like we always wanted.”

 

Taeyeon smiled brightly at the idea of going to a fun fair. She always wanted to go somewhere else. To see the places she had been missing for the past few years. She gives an excited nod. Tiffany smiled.

 

“Great! We’ll be going once you finish getting ready!”

 

Taeyeon stops eating all of the sudden. She puts down the spoon on the edge of the bowl and takes the sticky notes again. She begins to write slowly and carefully before showing it to Tiffany.

 

I want Jessica to come as well!

 

The mentioning of the doctor’s name again made Tiffany slightly offend inside. Why would she want Jessica to come too? It’s supposed to be their time to be together. She have been with Jessica for the past a month or so now. Yet, she wanted to bring her along. Tiffany tried to not show her annoyance and instead slightly smile. “Why—I mean, she might need some alone time. She have been taking care of her. She may need rest too.”

 

Taeyeon pouted. Tiffany have a point. All Jessica did was tending her. She should give her some time to be alone too and rest.

 

“I’ll go.” Both the people sitting on the table looks at Jessica. “I don’t mind. If Taeyeonnie wants me to go, I don’t see a harm in it.” She patted Taeyeon’s head. Her patient smiled brightly – clearly happy Jessica is tagging along and completely un-aware of Tiffany’s aura on the other side.

 

Still holding her fake smile, Tiffany looks at Taeyeon. “Is it—necessary for Jessica to come?”

 

“It’s okay, I’m not bother. Besides, after all those chaos, we both,” Jessica paused for a second to give this ‘look’ at Tiffany. “need to spend our time together freely.” She swears she could see the red-headed woman’s eyes darken but her fake smile is maintain. Unaware, Taeyeon claps excitedly to show her joy.

 

“Hurry, finish your patbingsoo before it melts.” Jessica playfully pock her soft cheek and Taeyeon nods with a huge smile before devouring the sweet treat again.

 

“You should finish your coffee too, Tiffany before it gets cold.” Jessica said. Tiffany chuckles, a fake one to be exact, and holds the cup to her lips. “Yes, I will.”

 

***

 

Yuri walk towards the Director’s office while being escorted by a guard. She was called out to discuss perhaps relating her patients or other businesses. As usual, Victoria, the secretary and a friend of hers is on her desk situated besides the door. The guards dismissed themselves once she reached not far from the office. Putting a smile on her face, she greets Victoria. “Hey, Song-Song.” She called the older woman with her nickname. Victoria, being an innocent foreigner she is, just smiles it off despite the nickname.

 

“Hey, Yuri. Have any businesses here?”

 

“Ah, as usual, just called out by Mr. Lee. Maybe he wanted to discuss about the conditions of the patients.” Yuri supports her upper body by putting on the desk – which didn’t bother Victoria at all – since the fellow psychotherapist constant presence. “He’s been calling more often these days.”

 

“Well,” Victoria talks as she continues looking at her computer while typing. “You are his personal ears and eyes.”

 

Yuri roll her eyes. Yes, Kwon Yuri and Mr. Lee is related. None knows, this is a secret only she and himself as well Victoria know. Yuri is a cousin of Mr. Lee after a marriage of two family members about a year ago. She was somehow appointed as his private reporter although she never really like the idea of reporting things behind her co-workers’ backs. Back with Jessica, she did reported to Mr. Lee about Taeyeon’s constant un-responsive sessions and one day she snapped that caused Jessica to get injured. It was also the reason she was sent to Jessica’s apartment. It was to report to Mr. Lee about Taeyeon’s condition. Of course, she only quoted she was doing much better than before. She is more stable and she responded well. She may have the chance of having a much bigger progress.

 

Of course, she left the part where Taeyeon almost cut herself and they had to restraint her during her outburst.

 

“Ah, no. I forgot to pick up something from the archives room.” Victoria looks at her wrist watch and turns her attention to Yuri. “Hey, can you—hold the fort for a while? I’m going to be quick. I only need some files to finish these paper works.”

 

“Sure, sure. Just go.” Yuri gestured her hand – telling Victoria to just leave and trust her.

 

“Thanks, Yuri.” She stood up from her seat and quickly run in baby steps with her red high heels. “I’ll be back in a few minutes!” She shouted before disappearing into the elevator that went to the basement of the building. Yuri reaches one of the apples Victoria have nicely put in a basket and leans on the wall near the door. She takes a bite, savoring the sweetness of the fruit to satisfy her palette. She continues eating when she hears a faint conversation from inside.

 

It was Mr. Lee’s voice and another. It seemed they were talking about a serious matter judging from the seriousness of their voices. “What are they talking? Ah, no, Kwon Yuri. Don’t bother. Knowing this family, it’s probably just about money…”

 

“What do you mean she is still not talking?” This time, Yuri couldn’t help but feel curious. She never heard the voice before. Who could possibly be inside that office?

 

“We are doing the best here, sir. Please do understand.” Mr. Lee spoke with quite a stern, annoyed voice. “I have specifically gave her instructions. She will be given a week to help Kim Taeyeon.”

 

“Taeyeon?” Yuri looks around to see if anyone or Victoria is there. When she ensures it is clear, she carefully leans onto the door and place her ear to get a better access of the faint conversation.

 

“A week? Should’ve given her a few days, boy! What are you thinking? It will not pressure her enough to make Taeyeon heal!” The old man sounded furious.

 

Mr. Lee was heard sighing. “I apologized. She made an offer and I cannot make a decision that will risk her agreement. I must bargained in order to-.”

 

“Enough!” The old man said. “In order to make a person do the job quick, you have to pressure her hard enough to make her do it well.”

 

“Y-yes, sir, I understand you.” This is the first time, Yuri heard Mr. Lee’s voice waver at the presence of a person. Mr. Lee has always been a talker. A very professional, smooth one. He do not get nervous even when he faced great people. To hear his voice slightly off, Yuri felt more curious to know the identity of the old man.

 

“Listen, I do believe you. But, I want this to be done quickly. I cannot waste more time. I’ve waited for 3 years. There’s no reason for me to wait longer.” Yuri heard shoes tapping – assuming the man must be walking somewhere in that room. The sound of the glass clacking made her indicates that he must be pouring himself a drink.

 

“Do as I say if you want your fair share. Cut her days, make it only two. That will pressure her enough to do her best to get Taeyeon to be able to talk again.”

 

Yuri’s eyes widen hearing his words. Two days? Only two days left for Jessica to treat Taeyeon? How is that going to be possible when they can barely make it through to one session? Yuri is bewildered. “No—don’t you dare agree!” She hissed under her breath.

 

“I will sent out an official letter through her mail. I will cut down her days and give her only two left.” Mr. Lee said.

 

“Y-YOU BASTARD!” Yuri accidentally risen her voice due to her anger. She quickly cover when she heard them stop talking. Footsteps can be heard coming to the door. In a quick act, she runs to hide under the table. The door burst open and she could see Mr. Lee peeking out the door. Suddenly, his attention went to his secretary’s desk. She squirms more to hide under the table so she would be un-seen. She prays to the Lord to not be notice. As she hear the footsteps getting closer, she could feel her heart beating faster. “Oh, Jesus. Please!” She whispered silently.

 

 

He stops, only to pick up an apple on the floor. It was Yuri’s. He looks at it curiously and looks up to see if anyone is there. His legs can be seen from Yuri’s sight under the table. He stands there for a short while before throwing the apple harshly into the nearby trash can. She wipe his hand on his coat before walking back inside the office – closing the door behind him.

 

Finally, Yuri let out a sigh of relief. She silently crawls out from underneath the desk and looks at the door. She cannot believe Mr. Lee have agreed to it. Jessica doesn’t have much time. She takes out her phone – texting Jessica to meet up with her after work hours. She needed to see her.

 

I’ll be going to your apartment tonight. I need to see you.

 

Looking at the door, many questions run inside her head. Who was that man talking to Mr. Lee? What may be his relation with her? From the conversation, Yuri can only assumed he must be someone that known Taeyeon in the past. However, she cannot really think of who. To say it was her father, as far as she was concerned, rumors say that Taeyeon was disowned by him years ago. Whoever he was, Taeyeon’s condition must be really important to him.

 

Soon, Yuri received a text message. It was Jessica’s. She said she is welcomed anytime. Seeing the smiley emoji she had put at the back of the chat, Yuri can’t help but feeling guilty to what she is about to tell her. “I’m so sorry.” She whispered underneath her breath.

 

***

 

Tiffany’s red car zoom through the busy street of Seoul, bringing four passengers inside. Yoona, who arrived back just in time, offered herself to be the driver. Tiffany trust her enough to drive. Taeyeon seated at the back along with Jessica. Tiffany wanted to sit to with her earlier before taking off but Taeyeon immediately pulled Jessica with her to the back seat. Of course, the red-headed woman wasn’t satisfy. She wanted to talk and share their friendly conversations again – well it’s not really a conversation since Taeyeon do not speak – like they used to. Looking from the mirror, she can see Taeyeon happily looking out at the streets – admiring the buildings and places they are passing. She haven’t seen them in years.

 

Jessica, on the other side, only smile as she stares at her secret lover quietly. She could have hug Taeyeon on the spot but with Tiffany having a close eye on her, she cannot help but restraining herself. Although she didn’t want to think, the thought about the conversation she had with Tiffany earlier came into her mind. She felt curious and worried. She wondered if Taeyeon do want to stay with her after all of this have end? Sure, they just confessed each other’s feelings. But, Tiffany known her far much longer. Taeyeon might choose to go with Tiffany. She have her right to make her own choice.

 

The insecurities inside Jessica start to eat her feelings up. Sure, she wanted the best for Taeyeon. But, she also wanted to be selfish. She wanted Taeyeon to never leave her. The thought of seeing her leaving Jessica makes her heart twisted with pain. She can sense the loneliness and emptiness that will come submerging her. Her mind was interrupted when Taeyeon sneakily slides her small hand under Jessica’s and intertwined their fingers naturally. The feeling of her soft and warm palm makes Jessica un-able to hold her smile.

 

“Why are you doing this secretly?” She whispered, loud enough only the two of them to hear. Taeyeon signaled with her eyes – telling that Tiffany or Yoona might see them. She wanted privacy – well that is what Jessica assumed. It was rather adorable to her. She never really do things despite dating one, two people before. She was too busy living her life as a high school gangster she never do these things. To do it with Taeyeon ; secretly holding hands and just be in their own world, she feels all giddy inside. It reassured her worried heart.

 

“Maybe—I should put my trust on you.” She said softly with a smile. Taeyeon tilts her head to the side a little – her eyes looked confused by Jessica’s words. “Ah, nothing. I’m just—talking to myself. Don’t worry.” She smiled. Taeyeon stares at her for a while longer, to see if Jessica is really telling the truth. When she knows for sure, she turn her attention back to the view outside. Their hands still intertwined.

 

“We’re here!” Tiffany clasped her hands. Taeyeon could see the huge rides from a far – making her smile so brightly. The place is not as crowded as it usually does on the weekends, but there are still a lot of people. The parking lot is almost full but Yoona managed to find one quicker than expected. Once the car is park and lock safely, the group of four went to pay to go inside and they all wear plastic bracelets on their wrists for rides. They enter the ground – greeted by a sea of people walking around – enjoying their times.

 

“There’s a lot of people.” Yoona said as she looked around. Jessica feels slightly worry. She looks at Taeyeon – the patient of hers’ seemed to be uncomfortable like she had expected. Rather than excited, her expression shows fear. Probably because of the unfamiliarity to be in a huge crowd again. She got scared of strangers especially with recent event that happened back at the facility. Tiffany was too busy talking to Yoona that she didn’t noticed her best friend is nervous and trembling. Jessica offers her hand – her soft eyes looking at Taeyeon with a sweet lip drawn on her thin lips.

 

“It’s okay, you don’t need to hide. Just hold my hand. I know you’re scared.” Staring at the familiar hand she have been holding and loving for the past few weeks now, she reaches out to hold for it when – “What to do you want to ride first?” Tiffany already reached and held her hand first. Jessica got taken aback a bit and she quietly retreats her hand before putting it inside her skinny jeans’ pocket. Taeyeon feels a little down too that her best friend grabbed her hand first before Jessica did. But, she keeps a smile on her face.

 

“Since you always wanted to come here, you should choose which rides we should go.” Tiffany said. Her high pitch voice sounded like a high school girl excited to be on a trip. Taeyeon looks around the place – thinking which exciting rides should they go first. She finally pointed one and the trio’s eyes follow the direction of the ride she was pointing. It was the roller coaster. Jessica’s face turn pale to the ride that Taeyeon have picked to get on first. Never have the young psychotherapist expected a petite, short lady like Taeyeon like extreme rides like that. Jessica, on the other hand, hated those ever since she can remember. She remembered how Hara had to forcefully dragged her just to ride it.

 

It was only once and she swore to herself it would be the last. Never she would have known that she will be riding that she claimed to be “the-deathly-hell-ride.”

 

She swallowed, feeling the lump on her neck suddenly thickens. “We should get in line before it’s late.” Tiffany said. Jessica almost didn’t hear it. She wish she did so they will just leave her and she could pretend she didn’t make it on time when it is their turn. But, it sounds too good to be true because Taeyeon was already tugging on her jacket. Jessica can almost have a mental-breakdown at this moment. For once, she just wish Taeyeon wasn’t clingy to her so she’ll live. Yes, it sounds a little overdramatic but to Jessica Jung – roller coaster is a total death trap to her. With a heavy heart, she walked a little behind from the trio who seemed to be excited to ride.

 

“Next!” The worker shouted so the people at the back can hear him.

 

“It’s our turn!” Tiffany said to the group. Taeyeon smiles excitedly at Jessica while the blonde woman could only force one. Her lips are already pale from getting nervous. They all got to the last 4 seats at the back. Tiffany wanted to sit next to Taeyeon but as usual- the best friend of hers already pulled Jessica along to the two seats. Tiffany huffs a little. She didn’t want to make her irritation obvious since she wants Taeyeon to have fun. Yoona notices it right away though. She leans slightly near Tiffany to whisper.

 

“You know, you’re always not a very good liar.” She chuckled when Tiffany gave a sharp look. She isn’t scared at it at all. She was too used to having Hwang Miyoung throwing her glares. “You’re showing that same expression like you did to me in the past. It’s kind of funny to see it again.” She giggled – replaying the memories of Tiffany pretending to not get irritated whenever Yoona comes to wait for her in front of the company . How she didn’t want to show it but it was obvious even if she tried.

 

“It’s supposed to be our time.” Tiffany said – in a sulking tone. Yoona stays silent for a short few seconds before whispering to her again.

 

“The last time I saw Taeyeon so happy was before Soonkyu’s passing.” Tiffany gave Yoona another look – it wasn’t a glare this time. “If being with Jessica makes her happy, why take it away?”

 

“Are you somehow questioning my decision here, Im Yoona?”

 

Yoona shrugged. “I don’t know. I never really question any of your actions, Miyoung. But, are you really sure about what you’re about to do here? I thought you wanted to make Taeyeon happy again.” She then turns away to look at the front – leaving Tiffany not able to utter another word and cannot help but to only turn to the front too.

 

Meanwhile, at the back seat, Taeyeon’s small hands is holding onto the safety belt as her short legs swing – showing her eagerness for the ride to start. Jessica is already trembling from her own nervousness. Her face is getting paler by each second she is counting inside her mind. “Ah—mm, Taengoo.” They look at each other. “Maybe I should get off this ride.” She chuckled nervously. Taeyeon tilt her head to the side – confused.

 

“Y-you see—I’m not very good at riding rides. I’m—actually a scaredy cat. I can’t really handle a—high and—very fast rides. I should really get off. I’ll—ride another less scary ride with you. I promise…” Before Jessica can even finish her words, the roller coaster suddenly start moving, taking her by surprise. She was so busy talking that she didn’t realized the conductor have announced the ride is starting. “Ah, Taeyeon!” She squealed as she shut her eyes tightly. The ride continues to move slowly but Jessica’s anxious heart is getting faster each second.

 

She feels Taeyeon tugging her shirt and she opens one of her closed eyes. She was too scared to look. But, seeing Taeyeon’s smiling at her while offering her small hand to hold, her heart is slightly at ease. She slowly reaches out to hold her hand.

 

Just a little more- then the next thing she sees the sky suddenly goes up. The ride goes down in a very fast speed. Unable to control herself, Jessica let out a very high-pitch dolphin scream. She was sure her heart, along with her other organs and soul have left her. The seven minutes ride felt like a whole hour. Once the ride stops, Jessica could barely walk on her two feet.

 

“You’re okay?” Yoona asked her.

 

“I feel like throwing—up.” Jessica was supporting herself on the wall with her weak arm.

 

“I’ll get us some drinks and medicines for you. Taeyeon, please stay here with her.” Tiffany walks to one of the stores nearby with Yoona following. Jessica sits down on a bench and leans her back to rest herself. Taeyeon sat beside her – showing a rather guilty expression. If she have known it earlier, she wouldn’t be dragging Jessica with her. She gently tugs on Jessica’ shirt and the blonde-woman looks at her. She shows a guilty look, a sign she feels sorry for making her go through that ride earlier. Jessica is quick to understand.

 

“No, it’s alright. I just—didn’t say it earlier since I don’t want you to worry. I wanted you to have fun.” Jessica smiles. But, Taeyeon keeps that guilty expression. “Don’t show me that face. I won’t regret it anyways as long as you’re having fun…” She stop on her words when she feels a peck on the cheek. She looks to the side to see Taeyeon hiding her blushing face. She check her surroundings to see if anyone is looking at them before she suddenly reaches to turn Taeyeon around and gives a quick peck on her lips. Taeyeon stare with a surprise look.

 

“I don’t feel sick anymore.” Jessica smiled. Taeyeon’s whole face turns so reddish and Jessica cannot help but laughing out at her. “You look so cute!” She tried holding her giggles. Taeyeon got embarrass as her hands hit Jessica multiple times on the shoulders. She turns away with a sulky pout. Jessica wipe the tears of joy pooling in her eyes before she suddenly grab Taeyeon on the hand and brings her along somewhere. Taeyeon confusingly looks at her from behind.

 

They stop by one of the stores nearby and Jessica let go of Taeyeon’s hand to look for something on the display. Taeyeon quietly stares at her new girlfriend – not knowing why she brings her at that store until Jessica reveals her a green frog head band. She just puts it on Taeyeon’s head without her permission. A squeal escaped from her tightly shut lips when Taeyeon looks at her with her round eyes while wearing the head band. “Ah, it—looks so cute on you!” She squished Taeyeon’s cheeks. Taeyeon shows an annoyed expression but Jessica just laughs it off instead. What comes next made Taeyeon’s expression turned to a shy one when Jessica suddenly pulls her for a hug.

 

“Sorry, I’ve been restraining myself since earlier.” Jessica whispered near her ear. They did not care the people passing by them are staring weirdly at the two of them. Jessica tightens her hug a little. “Taeyeon,”

 

“I really do love you. I wish you will always stay with me. I want to be your lover until the day God takes my life.” Taeyeon felt her heart twisted with joyful emotion and she hugs Jessica back – her head nodding against the woman’s shoulder. Tiffany is watching the new couple from a far. Yoona, who is standing next to her, looks at her. “Do you still want to take Taeyeon away from Jessica or should I say—forcefully separate Taeyeon from someone she falls for?” She gave a tight lip smile before walking towards the two of them, leaving Tiffany behind with words lingering inside her head.

 

***

 

Taeyeon enjoys her time at the amusement park. For the first time after three years since her last lover’s passing, she finally felt the feeling that she haven’t feel for a very long time. She feels grateful to be alive. She misses this joyful feeling. She misses to be spending time with Tiffany, her long-time friend and to get closer with Yoona, a companion she met in the past. But, most importantly, to have a lover beside her to make new memories with. To have Jessica being there with her and to fill in the emptiness in her heart. The night have come. They all decided to go for one more ride; the Ferris Wheel. Taeyeon enters first while pulling Jessica along with her. Tiffany is about to go in but Yoona stops her before she can.

 

The worker looks at them confusingly. Yoona gave a smile. “We’re not riding.”

 

“You’re not?” Jessica was also confused. Tiffany was about to protest but Yoona close before she could even say a word. “She’ll be here with me. I’m not feeling well.” She sent a signal with her eyes. Jessica confusingly blink at first until the idea finally hits her.

 

She wanted us to be alone.

 

“Alright, miss.” The worker nodded her head before closing the door. Jessica can see Yoona dragging Tiffany somewhere and she cannot help but smile. She feels grateful that Yoona understands the situation they are in. Taeyeon taps her shoulder and point outside. “Ah, Yoona isn’t feeling well so Tiffany is accompanying her.”

 

Taeyeon nods her head before focusing back to the view outside the window. Soon, the Ferris Wheel begins to move – taking them upwards and see the view of the city. Taeyeon gasp in a delightful feeling when she sees the scenery once they are on top. The colorful, flickering lights from the buildings that shines the city. The people walking around look smaller. Jessica keeps staring at her; admiring her side beauty. Sometimes, it feels un-real that this was the Kim Taeyeon she have met about more than a month ago. The rumored to be the un-cured patient. The person that was left helpless for almost three years is now sitting next to her – smiling and enjoying herself.

 

Jessica scoot closer and takes a hold of her hand. Taeyeon feels the warmth wrapping her hand so she turns her face around only to have Jessica leaning forward to kiss her lips. Taeyeon is in shock at first but soon she drowns herself into the kiss. She found her hands to slip into Jessica’s blonde hair as she follow the pace of Jessica’s moving lips – trying to move in synch.

 

“Tae-Yeon,” Jessica moaned her name. She the bottom of Taeyeon’s red lips before letting her tongue inside – exploring the wet cavern of the woman’s mouth. Taeyeon feel her legs getting weaker by the way Jessica kisses her. It wasn’t rough at all but satisfying. She could feel the woman is careful yet trying to make her feel good at the same time. They finally parted from each other when they were out of breath but their foreheads continue to lean on one another.

 

“I love you, Kim Taeyeon.” They intertwined their fingers. “I know you’re not ready to talk yet. But, I hope I will hear you say I love you—very soon.” Taeyeon held her hand tighter with a nod. “You know, sometimes it felt so un-real—to have you fall for me. It still felt like a dream. I was—always scared of my own feelings to you. I was afraid things would get bad since I’m your doctor but—mostly because I’m afraid that you will reject me.” Jessica gave her a weak smile.

 

Taeyeon let go of their hands to once again kiss Jessica. It is a sign that she wanted to tell Jessica how much she loves her back. “We should write our names here.” She took out a marker pen. She bought it with her since she thought Taeyeon might use it to talk with them. She looks around for any empty space for her to write. It didn’t took her long to find the perfect one. With cautiousness, she write their names as pretty as she can get it done.

 

JJ + KT <3 Our First Date!

 

“Let’s remember this moment,” Jessica turns to look at Taeyeon and approach closer to kiss her on the forehead. “For as long as we can.” They held each other’s hands as they continue leaning on one another’s foreheads. Just enjoying and savoring this sweet moment together.

 

Not knowing what will come to them later on.

 

***

 

Yuri nervously awaits in front of Jessica’s apartment. She cannot help but keep glancing at the watch on her wrist with the constant thought of the conversation she heard earlier that day. Her heart feels unease by the whole situation. The longer she waited to tell her, the more she can feel the fear building up inside of her. Yuri takes her phone out – once again texting Jessica to ask her whereabouts. Almost half an hour have passed since she arrived and hours after she sent that first message, but she received no sorts of responses. She anxiously taps her foot on the floor with her fingers typing the text in a fast manner.

 

Where are you? We really need to have a word! It’s urgent! Please reply me ASAP.

 

“Jessica’s co-worker.” Yuri turned around at the voice speaking. She assumed the young woman standing not far from her is a friend of Jessica’s. Hara smiles politely. “I’m Jessica’s best friend/private Intel. I’m guessing you come here to see her, isn’t it?”

 

Yuri smiles back, but not much as anxiousness still fills her heart. “I am. I’m actually waiting for her. I’ve been—texting her but she haven’t been replying to any of my messages.”

 

Hara let out a dry chuckle. “Well, she’s out – with Kim Taeyeon and two other women who are friends of Taeyeon’s.”

 

“F-friends?” Yuri seemed to be quite taken aback by the sudden news of Jessica finally able to find people that knew Kim Taeyeon from the past.

 

“I guessed they’re doing those bonding thingy. You know, catching things up about their lives are and just—spending time with each other.” Hara takes out the spare key to the apartment and unlocks the door. “Come in, it’s cold. We can wait for her inside.” She casually enters the place like it’s her own home. Well, she has been there too often it does feel like her own home. Yuri lets herself in before closing the door behind her.

 

“Do you want to drink anything? Coffee? Tea? Or perhaps beer? If you’re the alcoholic drinking type.” Hara said as she rummages through the fridge in the kitchen. Yuri sits at the dining table and takes her jacket off before replying, “I—mm, I won’t be drinking anything. I’m not in a very good condition right now.”

 

“Ah, you’re sick or something?” Hara sat on the chair opposite to where Yuri is.

 

“Not exactly.” Yuri nervously fiddle with her long fingers. The young private detective notices her slightly trembling hands and her eyes go up to look at Yuri with a serious expression. “You came here to see Jessica. I think it’s because of Kim Taeyeon. Am I right?”

 

Yuri falls into a short moment of silent. She is not even surprise if this woman in front of her knows everything since she mentioned she was Jessica’s private Intel. She can feel the burden building up inside of her. It’s best if she says it to lessen the heaviness in her heart. “Yes, you’re right.” She took a deep breath. “And it’s a very serious one.”

 

***

 

It was already almost 10 o’clock when they arrived to Jessica’s apartment after enjoying a satisfying dinner at a restaurant Taeyeon and Tiffany used to go back in the days. The owner was so happy to be able to meet one of her loyal customer again. In fact, she was too overwhelmed that she got teary over their reunion. It just show how Taeyeon used to be a really friendly and out-going person before. They ended up eating too much that night though. The lady owner kept serving them free food and side-dishes.

 

“Wait, let me take my keys.” Jessica said as she rummaged her small bag. She halt when the door suddenly open and Hara stands at the door with an un-usual expression. “Hara-,” Jessica’s smile fell when she sees the worriedness in her best friend’s eyes. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

 

“Jess—There’s something we need to talk about.” Hara said. She looks at the person standing behind Jessica’s back. Taeyeon is standing there with her hand tightly holding onto Jessica’s shirt. “Let’s talk privately. Yuri is here too.”

 

“W-what’s going on?” Jessica felt nervous. She can already feel the intensity building up.

 

“It’s about—her.” Hara whispered so Taeyeon would not hear her. Thankfully, she didn’t. Hara smile sweetly at the short woman before shooting a glance at Tiffany who was curiously staring at them. “Look, let’s get inside first.” Jessica sigh softly before nodding her head as she brought Taeyeon into the apartment. Hara halts Tiffany on the door – causing her to receive a rather sharp stare from the red-headed woman.

 

“You must be Tiffany Hwang. We’ll be having a talk with Jessica. Can you—accompany Taeyeon for the time being?”

 

Tiffany crossed her arms. “You guys sounded serious. I’m guessing it’s about Taeyeon. If this is about her, then I have the rights to know what’s going…”

 

“For this one, all you need is to stay for Taeyeon and be by her side. I’m sorry but this is only for Jessica to know.” Hara said. Tiffany opens to speak but Hara have expected what she was about to say so she quickly interrupt her. “If you’re wondering of my position in this situation, I’m Jessica’s private Intel. I was the one who found you and gave the information to Jessica.” Tiffany silenced herself as she stared long at Hara. She wanted to argue but in her mind, the only reason she was able to meet Taeyeon again was because of the woman in front of her. With a heavy sigh, she let her arms down as a sign of defeat.

 

Meanwhile, Jessica enters the living room and sees Yuri sitting on the couch. Same as Hara, she is wearing a worried expression too. “Yuri.” Jessica called. Yuri looks at two of the women as they are approaching her. She stands up from the couch. Her posture show anxiousness. Jessica could read from the way she keep fiddling her fingers and slightly bend back. “Jessica, finally you’re here.” Yuri looked at Taeyeon who was still feeling scared of her. She only managed to give a weak smile. “How are you doing, Taeyeon?”

 

Taeyeon slightly step out from behind Jessica and gives a nod. “Good, I’m glad you’re well.”

 

“Yuri, what are you doing here? It’s late. You could’ve visit tomorrow.” Jessica said.

 

“I would have but—there’s something I need to talk about.” Yuri takes a quick few seconds glance at Taeyeon. “It’s really important. An—urgent matter. But, we need—to talk privately. Please.”

 

Jessica let out a heavy sigh. She nodded her head at Yuri and turns around to Taeyeon to speak with her. “Hey, how about you go inside the room first? Get change. I’ll—talk to Yuri for a moment. Just the two of us.” She can already see the frown forming on Taeyeon’s forehead. “It won’t be long. We’re just going to talk about work stuffs. Nothing more. I promise.” Jessica caresses Taeyeon’s head lovingly. Taeyeon pouts a little to show her sulking but still, she nods which is a sign that she would let them talk. Tiffany shows up just in time. She approaches Taeyeon and put her hands on her shoulders.

 

“I’ll accompany you. Besides, we should catch up with more things. Right?” Tiffany eye-smiled at her. Taeyeon is always weak-hearted to her smiling eyes. She nodded; saying yes. Tiffany looks at the two of the doctors in front of her. “We’ll be inside the room. You guys can talk here.” She gave a polite, small bow with her head to Yuri before leaving with Taeyeon to the privacy of Jessica’s bedroom.

 

“What’s type of urgent matter that made you come here at such late at night?” Jessica began the conversation once it was only the three of them in the room.

 

Yuri let out a heavy sigh before lifting her head up. “This is about Taeyeon, Jessica.” The mentioning of the patient’s name made Jessica to frown. Judging how Yuri was acting, she knew it wasn’t a good news for her. Hara seemed to look serious too.

 

“What about her?”

 

“I was—called earlier today to Mr. Lee’s office. I had to wait outside because he was still in a meeting—with someone. Then, I overheard their conversation. Whoever the man Mr. Lee was talking too, I think she has connections with Taeyeon.” Yuri explained in a careful tone. She continued on. “I heard him wanting Taeyeon to be heal immediately. He demanded for her mental problem to be cure. Mr. Lee said he had given you a week to help Taeyeon gain back her ability to talk. But—the man said he had enough of waiting for three years—and he told him to cut down the days for—the treatment.”

 

Jessica bit her lower lip; maybe a bit too hard because she could taste the slight tang of her blood. Her heart was jumping from both anxiousness and fright. Her nightmare was coming closer.

 

“Mr. Lee agreed. He cut down your days and you are only left with two days. If you cannot heal her within those days, he would end the deal between you two.”

 

Jessica’s assumption was indeed true.

 

In defeat, Jessica weakly lays her back onto the sofa as her eyes look down onto her laps. She stay in that position, in complete utter silence. How? How can she help Taeyeon within such a short period of time? Two days? She cannot even go through one session without Taeyeon wanting to hurt or kill herself because of the haunting past memories. Her head went blank. At this point, she felt helpless. She didn’t know which direction should she take. Jessica is always the person that can act under pressure but even this was too much for her.

 

“Jess,” Hara called out. “How about try talking it out again with Mr. Lee? Try asking for another chance.”

 

“That wouldn’t be a good idea.” Yuri interrupted which Hara frowned to her answer. “I’m sorry but I knew him for quite a long time. From what I know, he is not the man that can be negotiate easily. You can make a deal with him once. The second time? He would immediately make the decision to take Taeyeon away. Especially knowing how—important this client of his’ from just hearing how their serious their conversation sounded like, I don’t think he would spare a room for Jessica anymore.”

 

“Jessica has no choice but to be given more time. Taeyeon is not a patient that you can easily go through with. From what I heard, the first session was pretty chaotic. How do you expect Taeyeon to be cure and able to talk again if she can’t even handle one session?” Hara replied, almost out from her calm-character. Clearly, she was frustrated knowing her best friend to be forcefully put in such a heavy pressure situation. She felt she could just assassinate Mr. Lee since her identity is off the grid anyways.

 

“Then, asking for more time will be the doom of this deal. Mr. Lee never cares for the patients. All he wants is to satisfy the rich- clients of his’. Other than that, he rather just lock those patients until they die and rot in their cells.” Yuri talked with such seriousness it made Hara to go silent.

 

“It’s up to you, Jessica. What do you want to do from now.” Yuri looked at the blonde-woman who had been sitting quietly since earlier. Jessica looks up to see the two women’s faces. She swallows the hard lump in her neck as her lips feel dryer. Inside her mind, she keep thinking if she have made the right choice. If she had decide the right decision. But, with the current situation, she didn’t really have a choice to start with except the option she had in her mind.

 

“We have no choice. We will have to force Taeyeon to talk again.”

 

“Jessica…” Hara show disagreement in her look. Despite just knowing Taeyeon for a short period of time, she already feel how precious of a friend she is. The idea to force her to do a thing she is so frighten of is just absurd to her. “You got to think is over again. What you’re about to do will ruin her trust to you.” Jessica ignore her words and attempts to pass by but Hara held her arm. They face each other. “This is not you. All your hard work to build the bond and trust between you two will be gone in a blink the moment you attempt a stupid just because you feel threaten.”

 

Jessica pulls back her arm. “That man can take her way from me even if I tried so much to stop him. He is that powerful, Hara. Out of all people, you should know that.”

 

“Then, what you going to do? To actually hurt Taeyeon? To make her suffer over her own fear?”

 

“I will not make the same mistake as I did with Krystal!” Jessica burst out. Hara was taken aback by Jessica’s teary eyes. “No—I do not afford to lose another one. Not again.” She sniffed. “I just can’t repeat the same mistake again.”

 

“Jess…” Hara looked down on the floor and shook her head. Yuri only stare at both of them. She feels she shouldn’t interrupt between the two best friend. “Fine, do what you feel right.” Hara let go of Jessica’s wrist. “But, don’t regret if you end up ruining your bond with her.”

 

“I will do just fine.” Jessica replied.

 

“That’s you, Jess. But, Taeyeon isn’t. From what I see, she trust you too much that she has no problem depending on you with her dear life. She believes that you will always do the best to protect her. Just like Krystal did before. What you’re about to do next is just repeating the same mistake again.” Hara said to her and walks out from the room. Soon, they can hear the front door is open and shut. Yuri stands up from her seat – approaching Jessica after a long silence.

 

“Whoever the person and what past you guys were talking about, I hope it won’t repeat again. If—you don’t want to do it…”

 

“I’ll do it.” Jessica took a deep breath and gave a small smile. “I’ll do just fine. Nothing is more important than Taeyeon now. I have to do the best I can. Let’s set up for the session.” She walked away before Yuri can even say a word. The fellow psychiatry sighed and just followed her from behind.

 

Once the recording equipment are set inside Jessica’s private office, she goes into her bedroom to meet with her patient. Taeyeon was sitting on the bed with Tiffany beside her. “Hey…” That was the only thing that came out from her upon seeing Taeyeon’s glittering eyes looking at her. After a long day of a fun date for the new couple, Jessica feels too guilty to end it badly. However, she cannot abandoned her responsibility as her psychiatry. In the end, Taeyeon is still her patient and not her new lover. Tiffany is the one to talk first once Jessica approached close enough to them. “What happened? I heard somekind of a fight outside.” Jessica gave off a fake smile. “Nothing, Hara is just stressed out—about a client.” She turn her attention towards Taeyeon. “You have fun today, don’t you?” Taeyeon nodded happily to that question.

 

“I’m glad you do.” She hesitated to talk further but she had to. With a forced smile, she continues. “You see, the—boss wanted me to do a session with you. He wanted to see your improvements.” She can see Taeyeon’s facial expression start to change to a worried one. She quickly holds her hand. “I know you’re scared but it’s the procedure. I’ve promised him to treat you and make you better when I asked permission from him to let you out. I want you to put your faith on me. Please?” Taeyeon looks down on her laps as she keeps moving her fingers around in anxiousness. She glances at Jessica who gives a hopeful look. Inside, she is scared. She fears of what she might pull off again if they try to remember back the horifying past. She just didn’t want hurt anyone especially Jessica. It haunts her until this day of when she saw the cut on her hand and the injuries she caused displayed on Jessica’s skin. But, the whole reason she is here is because for her mental treatment. No other reasons than that. She knows how hard Jessica worked to get her out and taking care of her. She is the luckiest patient. The one thing she can at least do is to cooperate despite her fears and doubts.

 

Finally, she nodded. Jessica smiles and give her a hug. “I promised you I’ll do my best.” She said. Tiffany look unsure about Jessica doing a treatment session with Taeyeon. She fears that Taeyeon still lack of mental stability to go through that session. But, her position did not really give her rights to judge what’s right.

 

***

Taeyeon sit down on a chair while Jessica took at the opposite side. Yuri handles the equipment to record the session while Tiffany is outside along with Yoona whom just arrived earlier. “Now, Taeyeon, I know it scares you after what had happened the last time. But—please, I hope you can do through this time. Bear with me.” Jessica gave an encouraging look. Taeyeon, despite her doubts, forced out a weak smile and nod. With that, Jessica turns on the recording mic near her. She clears a little, “My name is Doctor Jessica Jung. I am currently with patient Kim Taeyeon. For a few days now, she had been leaving outside the confinement of the facility and had been staying with me as she go through her treatment. The first time I met her, she had a very severe depression due to traumas. Her depression made her to isolate herself from reality which caused her to not give any sorts of responses, talk or even move. I also found out that she had developed a character that she has no control of whereby she would turned—vicious whenever we try to bring back the haunting past of hers’. However, after treating her for a period of time, she seemed to have progressed very well. Now, she regained back the ability to control her mind and became less—depressed. Unlike before, she moves and response well to people. But,” Jessica paused for a short few seconds as she steal a glance at Taeyeon. “She seemed to still have hesitation to talk. Whenever she attempted to do so, the so-called protective character she had built mentally emerged and tried to hurt herself or others that tried to stop her.” Those words made Taeyeon’s expression turn darker. Jessica’s heart feels painful; as if a knife struck her straight on the chest. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath.

 

She needed to stay strong. They need to go through this or else it would be the end.

 

“In this session, I will attempt to make the patient talk.” Their eyes met in the middle. Jessica holds the pen in her hand tightly and forces her head to look down onto the notebook she placed on the table. It is the best for her to avoid Taeyeon’s eyes because the more she looks at it, the more her heart clenched with mix emotions. She straighten up her back and finally let herself to look at Taeyeon after a while.

 

“How are you doing, Ms. Kim? Are you doing well?” Yuri focused the camera on Taeyeon when she responses with a nod. “Great. Compared to our first meeting, you seemed to response very well now. That is a very huge progress.” Jessica held herself for a minute- hesitating to ask further. When her eyes land at Yuri who is behind the camera, the word of Mr. Lee’s struck inside and invaded her mind. It pulls the hesitation away from her.

 

“I want to ask further questions—that is concerned with your current mental condition.” Jessica clenched onto the pen harder as if it can break anytime soon. Will it go well? That was the only thing she worries. Taeyeon gives a rather weak nod; showing her doubt if she can answer to the questions like the way Jessica wanted her to.

 

“I’ve—conducted an investigation about you and gained information about your past.” Taeyeon could feel herself starts to tremble but she quickly shut her eyes and nod. Jessica notices the change but continues, “I know that you had someone very important in the past. A person whom you really cherish until this day, I believe. But, you lose that person—in a devastating tragedy.”

 

Taeyeon is grabbing on her poor shirt, giving more nods as her eyes shut tight- a way for her to contained that self-harming character of hers’. Jessica then continues, “But this is the side of a story told by a third person. I—want to hear the story from yourself. How everything happened. I want you to talk to me.” Taeyeon nodded, but her face is already sweating. Yuri feels the atmosphere is getting heavy all of the sudden. She, too, notices the uncomfortable expression on Taeyeon’s face upon hearing that request. Now she is in the situation, Hara’s words seemed to be right after all.

 

“Jessica, let’s—stop. I don’t think she’s ready.” She whispered. Jessica ignored her. With Mr. Lee taking Taeyeon away from constantly invading her thoughts, her heart decided to be determined to make Taeyeon talk no matter what. Lost in her own determination, her caring side seemed faded at the moment. “I want you to tell me about what happened that night.” She repeated- her tone changes slightly into a cold one. Despite the constant un-comfort displayed by Taeyeon, she told herself to stay strong and do not be weaken by it.

 

“Taeyeon, tell me what happened.”

 

“Jessica, give her some time to think...” “This is important.” Jessica cuts Yuri’s words. “I have to hear it from you.”

 

Taeyeon shut her eyes so tightly. Her mind starts to reminisce the haunting memories of the traumatizing past. She saw herself covered in blood. So much blood. It drenched her clothing and colored it red. Her shaky hands were holding her lover’s dying body. She was crying so hard her eyes can barely see a thing. But, she saw it. Her short blonde hair, her pretty smiling eyes and her quivering lips barely saying out her last words as she neared closer to her dying breath. Taeyeon was screaming. Lights flickered here and there- blinding her teary eyes. She remembered her lover’s hand fell to the ground- escaped from her grasp. People dragged her away from the dead body. But, Taeyeon refused to leave. Her ears were deaf from all the commotion around her and the only thing she heard was her own scream that called out Sunny. Her blurry sight only starred at the dead blonde lying on the ground.

 

She should have listen.

 

She should have stay.

 

She shouldn’t have left.

 

Or else none of this would have happened. It was all on her.

 

Taeyeon’s eyes flutter open as she gasps heavily. Both Yuri and Jessica was taken aback by it. But, Jessica is quick to get up from her seat and just in time to pin Taeyeon down back onto her seat when she attempts to leave the locked office in a frenzy state. Taeyeon is already crying and she attempts to escape but Jessica is not having that today. She refuses to give her the chance. “Taeyeon! Listen to me! You have to tell me what you see! What have happened?” She is literally raising her voice due to Taeyeon’s loud grunts. The table is knock to the other side when Taeyeon continues to struggle to be free. Jessica is strong enough to continue pinning her on the seat with all her might.

 

“Jessica, stop it!” Yuri said, trying to stop Jessica from forcing Taeyeon especially in that condition. Jessica did not hear her at all and instead continues to use force. With the reminder of what Mr. Lee would do, Jessica seems to be out of her sane mind. For the first time, she stops caring for Taeyeon’s well-being.

 

“Tell me what happened!” She raised her voice. Tiffany and Yoona heard the shouting from outside. They stand up and approaches the closed door. “Jessica?” Tiffany called out. When they heard loud thuds, Yoona did not hesitated to grab onto the knob tightly and tries to forcefully open the shut door.

 

“What the hell is happening?” Tiffany asked but her question goes un-answer apart from the sound of thuds coming from inside.

 

Meanwhile, Taeyeon is still struggling to release herself however Jessica is far much stronger despite her small figure. “I want you to tell—no, I demand you tell me what happened in the past!” Jessica said with a stricter, harsher and colder voice. Despite Taeyeon started whimpering and tears are beginning to pool in her eyes, Jessica did not show a single mercy. “Jessica, that’s enough. You’re hurting her.” Yuri tries to get close. But, she held her steps when Jessica throws a deathly glare at her.

 

“Shut it, Yuri! A doctor who fails to treat her should just stay aside from this!” The words that spilled from Jessica’s mouth made Yuri taken aback and feel offended. But, she was absolutely right. She, whom had failed to treat Taeyeon in the past, should never intervene. With so much guilt burdening her heart, she can only stand there at the corner. “Now, tell me what happened!” Jessica gave a piercing look at Taeyeon, losing herself in desperation- totally ignoring the painful whimpering of her patient.

 

Taeyeon shut her eyes. Hoping that it was just a really bad nightmare. They got too tired when they came back from the amusement park that she accidentally fell asleep while they were in the car. Yes, Jessica will never do this to her. Her precious new lover would never have the intention to hurt her. But, feeling the tighter grip forces her eyes to flutter open and sees it is nothing but pure reality in front of her. The woman, that always give her sweetest smiles and laughter is treating her so harshly, so coldly- just the same as the other doctors in the past that began to flash in her memories. “Tell me!” Jessica shouted.

 

“Ms. Kim, tell me what happened to you!” Taeyeon remembered a woman was shouting at her in frustration.

 

“You are—useless! You are un-treatable!” Another psychotherapist said as she moved away from her.

 

“You are nothing but a dead soul inside.” And another.

 

“You will never be alive again. You will rot and die in here before you can even say a word.”

 

Then, lights from a car flashed before her eyes. She saw her past lover looking at her with death eyes and got hit by the vehicle until her body fell into an illusion pool of blood.

 

“Kim Taeyeon!” Jessica called as she grips her wrists too hard that Taeyeon loses her sanity and bites the young doctor on the arm causing her to fall back onto the floor. “Jessica!” Yuri called worriedly seeing Jessica lays on the floor with a bleeding arm. Taeyeon regains back her consciousness and looks down at Jessica with teary eyes. She whimpers, as her tears start running down her cheeks like an endless waterfall.

 

“You--,” Jessica looks at her bleeding arm before throwing such a glare that Taeyeon backs away in fear. “I was doing my best to try treating you.” The injured blonde stood up from the floor. “You—you almost killed and hurt me so many times but I never ever gave up on trying to help you. I risk my ing career just to save you from that rotten place you live for the past 3 years!” She paused, as if she tries to hold back her tears. “I asked you for one thing—to tell me what happened but you can’t even do that! I’m trying so damn hard to try reaching you inside but you never let me because you are afraid of your damn past!”

 

Taeyeon trembles as she cries, but her body begins to move towards Jessica. Her aching heart just want Jessica to stop screaming and just hold her. She wanted them to cry together. She wanted to help Jessica held the burden. But as soon as her hand about to touch Jessica, the woman slaps it away in pure anger.

 

“Do you know exactly why you are so afraid and traumatized to remember your past? It is because everything that happened was your own fault!” Taeyeon froze on the spot when she heard what Jessica says. Her eyes seemed to not blink and only let out tears. “Yes, it is all your fault! Your lover, Sunny died because you were acting so selfish and she had to pay the price! She saved your life in exchanged for hers! All that happened because of your damn stupid mistake! You tried running away from your painful past but you can’t because everything is on you! It is all your fault and no one else! You are being nothing but a complete coward that cannot even accept the truth that you made this happened on your own!” A slap landed on Jessica’s face. She slowly looks at Taeyeon as sees so much pain in her eyes. It was obvious- she have completely broken her trust and her heart. Taeyeon pushes her aside before running to open the door to reveal Tiffany and Yoona standing at the entrance. Although they have heard everything, they are still shock to see how painful Taeyeon’s expression is. “Tae--.” They cannot even hold her as she runs away to lock herself inside the bedroom.

 

“Taeyeon! Sweetie! Open the door! Please!” Tiffany frantically called her out while knocking but Taeyeon stays at the corner of the dark room; crying by herself. Yoona turns at Jessica who still haven’t move from her spot from earlier and grabs her on the shirt collar.

 

“What the heck did you do to her? I thought you were treating her!” Yoona shouted.

 

“You can’t deny it--.” Jessica looks up to her with nothing but a plain expression. “It is her own fault.” In anger, Yoona lands a punch on Jessica’s cheek that made her stumbles back onto the wall. She attempts to throw another punch but Yuri quickly goes to stop her from doing so. “Please, don’t fight!”

 

“She deserved it! We lose Taeyeon and went searching for 3 years! We were so worried about her, we even thought—she died! When you finally found her and came to us, you don’t know how much we are grateful you showed up! We put so much faith onto you and yet you betrayed our trust!” Yoona walks away in so much anger.

 

Yuri turns at Jessica. “Hey--,” Before she can even say further, Jessica walks out from the room without looking back at anyone. She grab her car keys on the kitchen counter before quickly going out from her own apartment. She ignores the people staring at her weirdly because of her messy look and bleeding arm. She cares nothing else but to leave. She needed to leave. Once the elevator reaches the ground floor, she walks out- completely ignoring people whom she bumps on the way.

 

Hara, who is standing outside of the apartment complex, sees Jessica hurriedly walking to her. She immediately knew something had happened while she was gone so she immediately run towards Jessica and grabs onto her wrist. “Jessica--,” Her eyes land on the injury on her arm. “What—happened?”

 

Jessica pulls back her hand. “Leave me alone.” She said before walking to her car once more without looking back. But, Hara determines to know. So, she bravely grabs onto her again. “Jessica, what is going on here!?”

 

At that moment, Jessica turns to look at her; revealing her eyes that filled with so much tears and a painful expression. “You were right all along. I ruined it. Just like I did before with Krystal.” She pulls back her hand a stun Hara and enters her car then securely locking the door so none can enter. She starts her engine before driving away fast- leaving the apartment complex and Hara on the side of street. Her hands tremble so much that she cannot hold the stirring wheel properly. Her eyes are so blurry that she cannot see that well but it does not stop her from pressing the accelerator to make the car go much faster. She seems to not care much if she goes into an accident or even lose her life that night. Her mind is so clouded with her own frustration, depression and anxiousness that she feels like dying. Inside, her heart aches every time she remembers back Taeyeon’s painful expression and how she had looked at her earlier. It reminded her on how her precious younger sister had looked at her before.

 

What have I done?

 

TBH

 

***

 

A/N: Hello, fellow readers! It has been so damn long since I have updated with this fiction. I know before that I wanted to update but I postponed the update because I wanted to add more new ideas. I could have finished early but I am so busy in my studies that it is so hard for me to find time to write fictions (since I am on my last few semesters on Diploma atm) ;-; I apologized for making you guys to wait for such a long time. I am very much touch that when I thought of stopping this, y’all give me so much supports and tell me to keep going. It makes me happy because you guys really appreciate this story! Despite being 21 years old already, and this fiction have been here for years now, I will try my best to try finishing it! I hope it is worth the wait. Please enjoy and I do hope you will give comments! -reowesome