*after 100th day, at the house where Eyra lives with Taewoo and Aecha, before Eyra and Leo got back*

(Eyra's POV)

"I'm sorry for your loss. We hope you and your family will be strong enough" Our neighbor, Mrs Han hugged and patted my back. I thanked her for coming.

I saw Vixx in the corner. All were there except.. Leo. I saw Ken and N with their red and puffy eyes. I went to them.

"Guys.." They all stood up in front of me.

"Thank you so much for coming. It meant a lot to me, Aecha, Taewoo and .." I paused.

"and also to him" I wiped my tears.

"Noona" Hyuk called for me.

"If you have any problem, please do not hesitate to call us. We will be there for your assist" Hyuk was holding his tears back.

"Gomawo, Sang Hyuk-ah. But I think, I can cope with this. I am fine" I smiled to give them assurance. They hugged me one by one before saying their goodbyes to him.

I looked for Aecha and Taewoo. They were in their room. I sat on the chair that faced them.

"children, why are you here? It's not nice for you to be upstairs while others are down there, you know?"

"omma, do all of us die?" Aecha was hugging her doll. It was a gift from Leo for her 6th birthday.

"eorinni, all living things will die. even cats, plants. we don't know when but we will. for us, the still-living, we have to continue our days like nothing happened. We cannot cry all day." They both nodded.

***

The memorial ceremony went well. Omma and appa already went home right after the ceremony ended. Omma said appa had some papers to do. Sunggyu and Yoomi just went back. The children were in the room, still reminiscing the memories with him.

After shower, I sat at Leo's desk in the bedroom. And I saw the envelope that Sunggyu gave me the other day. I grabbed the letter and stepped outside to the balcony of my room. I gazed at night sky. There were many stars shining that night. I read the letter's content.

Even if I'm not a good talker, please understand me

I will tell you all of the truth that I've been keeping

Do you remember the day we first met?

Your pretty lips smiled at me

After that day, I was determined

That I never want to lose you from my embrace

That I will go till the end

Saying I love you with words might not be enough but

Still I will confess to you today

I wanna be with you, always from a step behind you

Don't forget there's a person who will protect you

After I met you, I found something to do

It is to make you smile all day, every single day

There might be times when I'm really busy but

In my head, there are only thoughts of you

Saying I love you with words might not be enough but

Still I will confess to you today

When you tell me to cheer up

When your eyes are looking at me

Those things make me exist right now

I have nothing else to tell you but I love you

Thank you so much for waiting for me till the end

For looking at me without shaking

Lean on me, believe in my love

Let's be together for always, forever

I love you, I need you.

I love you, I need you.

It's only you for always

Stay by my side, I'll comfort you

Let's love as if the world stopped like this

Thank you for being you

I cried my heart out upon reading the letter. This was it. The love letter that I cherished most. He might not be here when I needed him most, but one day, I would find a way to deal with this.

The wind blows in my direction, making me feel calm. All of a sudden, i felt like someone just hug me from the back. It felt so warm and so reassuring.

"I'm sorry" I turned to my back and cried harder on his chest.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you need me. I'm so sorry that he passed away because of me" He continued.

*flashback*
"Leo.. he.." Yoomi stopped.

"HE WHAT UNNIE?" I shook her shoulders while omma was trying to calm me.

"He needs a donor for his liver. His liver was damaged because of the accident. We need to be quick because he's dying"

OMG, I really didn't know what to do. Omma burst into tears upon hearing that. I know what she was feeling. Her one and only son was dying and she couldn't do anything. The same thing that I was feeling at that moment.

*only you ringtone playing*
Someone called my cell phone, but it was an unknown caller.

"Yeoboseyo?" I answered.

"Is this Mrs Jung Eyra?"
"Nae, speaking. Nuguseyo?"

"I am Kim Myungsoo, Howon's friend"

"Oh, is there anything I could help you?"

"First and foremost, I am so sorry to tell you that, Howon passed away this evening. He died after he fell from a high platform"

"What?! No, no. You must have mistaken. It couldn't be my cousin. MY LEE HOWON" Tears came down even more than before.

Just when I thought I could be strong enough even just for a show, something just hammered me back into despair.

"Please make your way to Y Hospital as soon as possible" that was the last sentence that I heard before my phone slipped from my hand.

I cried and cried while Yoomi was hugging me. All my nieces and my kids woke up.

"Eyra, wae? Who called just now? Was it Gyu oppa?" Omma was worried that the thing she feared most happened.

My kids came and sat by me. They hugged and looked into my eyes.

"Howon, unnie. Howon" I couldn't finish my sentence.

"Wae? What's wrong with him?"

"He passed away" I continued to cry.

"PAPA!" Aecha and Taewoo cried in my arms.

After we arrived at Y hospital, I saw appa and Sunggyu.

"Have you guys found the donor?" Gyu asked.

"No. Is Leo admitted here?" Yoomi asked.

"Nae .. " before Gyu could finish his sentence, a nurse by the counter called.

"Lee Howon's family"

I ran to the counter. The nurse held me several pieces of paper.

"What are these, nurse?"

"Mrs Jung, before Mr Lee died, he had sign up to donate his organ. Since you are the only family member that we managed to contact, we need you to sign these papers as agreement"

"Nurse, may I know to whom is the organ donated?"

"For now, after you sign the agreement, we will go through the list for patients with immediate need. Do you have any specific patient?"

I quickly nodded.

"Yes, I do. He's my husband. Jung Taekwoon, he was admitted this evening"

"Alright, we'll go through his name and will start the surgery for him right away" I signed the paper and I was brought to see Leo.

At the Intensive Care Unit (ICU), only one adult person is allowed per time.

I sat by his bed. He was in comatose state. His skin was pale. His head was bandaged. But other than that, thank God he was alright.

I held and kissed his hand.

"Jung Taekwoon, Jung Leo, Leo oppa.. If only I had followed my instinct when I was reluctant to let you go, you'll never be like this. You would still be at home, safe." I suddenly remembered that I should say things that would lit him up.

"Oppa, do you remember how we met? In the kitchen? You watched, I mean, stared at me preparing salad until I cut myself. Then, you sent me back, more to followed me home with your Nissan Skyline. Then you offered me a job at your cafe." Tears started to well up. I wiped them away.

"Then, you asked me out at 3am and we went to your parents' house. Then, I woke up at your house and qas only planning to stay for a week. But turned out, I stayed for like forever."
I was going to cry but I chuckled to cover them.

"Remember when I first woke up as your girlfriend but I didn't realise I was? Because you asked me whenI was in the midst of crying. *chuckled* That was funny oppa" I stopped. Inhaled. Exhaled.

"Then, I was brought to your parents' again. With the thought that we were there only to celebrate their anniversary. But, you actually proposed me that night. And on the next day, we were married" I could no longer held my tears. I let them flow but still chuckled.

"I don't want to talk about our fight. But I wanted to talk about the day you came to my house. I read your lyrics that you composed. My feelings for you grew stronger. I knew I could no longer deny the fact that I love you, oppa. And then you appeared at my door, like my wish just came true. But, I wasn't ready to tell you about our children. I was afraid that you might get angry because I kept them from you. Every day since they were born, I talked about you, played your songs, played your videos. With you being an idol, it was easy. Besides inserting you in their life, it was also for me to know your progress. Then when you came, everything was complete. The children, even though they started to live with you 2 years ago, but they felt like it has been forever. Pieces of you are in them. They carry your trace wherever they go" I muffled my mouth with my hand.

"They need you oppa. I need you. Please, come back."

Just then, a nurse interupted me. They told me that they need to get him ready for the surgery. I got out of the ward and saw Sunggyu was waiting for me outside.

"When we first arrived, the doctor said that this was in Leo's belonging" a floral patterned envelope. Written on it, was Leo's handwriting:

To my beloved Jung Eyra. To be opened only after your birthday. (I mean it, yeobo)

*end of flashback*

"How can you be here, shouldn't you be in hospital?" I kissed his cheeks and hugged him.

"I was discharged today. I told the doctors not to tell you. And I heard about Howon from the nurses. I am so sorry, yeobo"

I looked in his eyes. True, I was sad when Howon passed away. He was my only cousin that I have.

"But yeobo, you must not be too sad" He said while holding my hand.

"Why?" I looked into his eyes while he brushed away my tears on my cheeks.
"Because right now, a part if him lives with me. And, as long as I am alive, a part of Howon also lives. I will never leave you anymore" my feelings were all mixed up.

I was sad because of Howon's death. I was also happy because Leo is back with me, with my family.

"Saranghae, yeobo" Leo puts his arm around my waist and kissed my lips.