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Title [6/10]

The title was actually quite confusing. From what I’ve read, Sunny is being protected and the boys are the ones protecting Sunny. In this case, the title should be ‘Protectors of Light’ and not ‘A Protector of Light’. I hit up aff search and ran a check to see if there were any other fanfics with the same title. No other fics came up so props to you for that. Other than originality, it’s a pretty much okay title – it hinted at a dystopian au. It didn’t draw me in much but it also didn’t turn me off.

Description [5/10]

 A description is a space meant for you to give a brief overview of your fic, or at least a snippet of it to garner attention. It is most definitely not for you to do a self-introduction because let’s be honest – I care more about your fic than you. Things like that, put it after the foreword. It’s the first thing that I read after the title and it didn’t give me a good impression at all. Your foreword’s okay, but there are spelling errors. Rapped – wrapped Admirer – admire Your foreword didn’t match with the fic too. The foreword mentioned 6 years of searching for Sunny but in your fic, it was only a year. Also, you kept switching tenses. You began with present but switched with past after that. I suggest getting a legitimate beta reader to help you with such things.

Story Plot & Developement [4/30]

Well, at first I thought it was going to be a dystopian au because that was what you wrote in the review submission, but I was wrong. A dystopian au is an alternate universe in which the society described is horrible and has everything people do not want – it is the antonym for utopian. Your fic is not a dystopian au at all so don’t mix it up. I was initially very confused by your fic because you literally throw the reader into this au where there are kings and greats and queens and all. Constructing an alternate universe is tricky in the first place. I expected some background information – where were these kings? Where in the world is this exo kingdom? What are the greats? It took me a few chapters to realize that the kings and the greats were aliens. Moving on, there were several loopholes in the story. You mentioned a prophecy in the beginning. As kings, why have they not heard of the prophecy at all? Also, since they’re the rulers, if they all left to find Sunny, who is left in charge of the kingdom? Why did the kings have to obey the greats? Who were the greats anyway? Why were they searching in schools? The prophecy didn’t mention the queen being a high school girl. Why did they all fall in love with her anyway? (All at first sight, too. It’s too shallow.) Why did Kris decide to spend more time with Sunny instead of just telling her the truth and shipping her off to exo kingdom? His decision to do so didn’t match his character (will be touched on in the characterization segment). I had so many questions and it was disappointing not to see them answered as I continued reading. The theme of this fic was unclear. I initially thought it was perhaps about history, since there was a prophecy and that the fic would be about how they find this girl and how they had to convince her to stay and whatnot. I got more and more puzzled (not in a good way) because suddenly, they were thrown into a school with fake ids and the story became a high school au. Did you write this story without planning? It sure seems like it because there are so many things jumbled up together – th