☎daihyu : You are my Everything

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Title [6/10]

The title is actually quite common, I have seen it a couple of times in AFF before. But, I must admit, it is a good one. You lose points for those for the lack of originality

Description [10/10]

It does not give away too much information and gives the reader an idea of what the story is about. It is, a mystery to me, how you authors, know how to write awesome description, like I have said in one of my previous reviews, I do write some stories (kept in draft mood) and my description like hell. Mind giving me some tips?

Story Plot & Developement [26/30]

You definately have a great plot ahead, although, I must say, the kiss was sort of fast. Maybe you should write out in the further chapters, you could put more events to it, like how Taeyeon rejected him and Baekhyun working hard to win her heart and they finally kiss....

Grammar [25/30]

Some of the sentence are quite hard for me to understand.

Corrections :

Chapter 1, Paragraph 1 : Baekhyun was a nervous wreck ever since the previous night.

Chapter 1, Paragraph 2 : Today was the only day EXO had a break off in a while, and it was the one and only day that Girls' Generation had as well

Chapter 1, Paragraph 10 [Okay, maybe this wasn't a grammar error but I thoughts it was a bit unprofesio

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Jaeeunie #1 Apr 10, 2016 05:18:41

I sent a review request^^

Snowcakie #2 Feb 18, 2016 21:42:04

Chapter 3: How do you apply as a reviewer?

Sweetmusic6 #3 Jan 13, 2016 15:14:37

Hi! Are you looking for reviewers? I have a lot of time on my hands and i would like to help in any way i can~^^
Please let me know when you see this.

kooshii #4 Jan 11, 2016 10:08:16

Chapter 28: Thank you very much for the review! :)
I agree with you about everything. This is the first time I'm trying to write a story, for real, and your tips helped me a lot. I've been stuck on how to continue my story for a while, and how to improve it, so it was nice to hear from someone else.
I've been editing the current five chapters lately, and I'll definetely go back and edit it more. There's always room for improvement. ^^
Personally, I'm not a fan of writing too many lines for, actually, any of the characters in my story. Maybe it's because I'm so used to writing short stories. Although that's my preference, I agree with you that I should make my main characters come to life with a soul. Again, I agree with you on everything.
Thank you again, and I'll credit you. :)

JaeKnight #5 Jan 11, 2016 09:42:38

Chapter 24: HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP! I WAS LIKE SCREAMING (internally) WHEN READING THE REVIEW! HAHAHAHAHA And what made me screamed louder (internally) is when I read you're a psychology major?! Like wtf?! It's such an honor, man. I can't even.

will credit you asap :) Thank you for the review, pandalaxic<3

karmachameleon #6 Jan 11, 2016 05:33:56

Chapter 16: Thank you so much for the review :)

The thing with me is that I tend to be really impatient, so I was kinda in a rush to finish the story XD and I ended skipping a few things. I agree with you, I should have probably elaborated more on their feelings.

About the semi-colon thing it is all MS word's fault XD It's always auto-correcting my punctuation and I usually just let it be. :D

Anyway, I at grammar coz I had to learn only communicative English back in school and I ended up picking dentistry in college...so yeah that explains my lack of skills in writing.

Your review was rather helpful. Thank you :)

twosuns #7 Jan 11, 2016 05:28:17

can i still apply for reviewing? :)