Title [10/10]

I'm actually quite amazed with the fact that your title obviously sets the story right infront of you. I applaud you for that because most of the time, I would see people put beautiful story titles, just to have it wasted by a completely different plotline. Your title also gives me a warm feeling to, like a comforting one. Just like, how Sehun has that affect on Luhan. ;)

Description [6/10]

Your description is actually quite good and I like it, honestly. But it confused me, to some extent. 
That part where you said, "But his friends know." Since you did put a period, I had gotten confused. So, I suggest you replace that with a comma. Also, what does Sehun know? Does it relate to the Luhan's emotions or?  Elaborate on that a bit, but don't give too much information.  I give you props for giving just the right information, you totally didn't blow anything. But, well it did feel like, I already knew how the story was gonna go as I finished reading it. Though, I do suggest a small number of changes, they are only optional and don't need to be done.
 

Story Plot & Developement [24/30]

I find that it was a bit fast paced. For example, you explained Sehun and Suho's past relationship chapter in the second chapter, though I know it would progress through out the story and what not. To me it felt like just a bunch of drama in my face, because of all that was happening with Luhan already ( Sehun finally meeting adult Luhan and figuruing that the 6 year old personality  was named Xiumin). I would have felt more happier if it came later on, but your story is only 6 chapters so I understand that the story should be pushed up a notch.
Your story plot is, what I saY COMPLETELY GENIUS. I have never seen any story with any plot like this, it perked my interest honestly. All this psychiatry type of thing, is not what you see all the time. You also did give a good amount on this profession, which totally helped me understand this story better. :D

Grammar [24/30]
Even though I could read your sentences quite properly, your punctuation wasn't on point (ha see what I did there :3). There were many  stacatto sentences ( meaning it was short and not elaborated enough), I would have rather you combined two whole sentences, for example:
"This voice was louder. Not because he shouted louder. But because it was his voice."
When you could have done soemthing like this;
"This voice was louder, not because he shouted louder but because it was his voice.."
 

Vocabulary & Spelling [17/30]

Must I say your vocabulary is amazin