“And I'm longing, for words to describe how I'm feeling
I'm feeling inspired
My world just flips turned upside down
It turns around, say what's that sound
It's my heartbeat, it's getting much louder
My heartbeat is stronger than ever
I'm feeling so alive, I'm feeling so alive”

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✤ Kai

 I woke up around 5 in the morning, and I could feel my back and neck hurting so much. I yawned looking around then I realized that I spent the night sleeping on the chair next to Hana. I looked down on her she was still in deep sleep and I remembered the reason I came here late at night. I felt a bang in my heart, I have a feeling that I know why she was shouting these words, and how I wish that I am wrong. I looked down at my hand holding hers, the feeling was strange to me but to some point, I liked it, a lot. I smiled to myself looking at her beautiful sleeping face, and I found my other hand getting closer to her face caressing her cheeks, but I stopped immediately thinking what the hell am I doing. I got up carefully trying not to wake her up, after getting all my stuff I took one last look at her sleeping figure and left as quite as I can.

 Days passed since that day and I could feel something different about her, she’s almost not like herself, always in another world. With every day passing, she was looking more and more tired, exhausted, edgy and depressed. I asked her couple of times if she was okay and she always responded with the same answer “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m okay.”, but she wasn’t. I didn’t know what to say or do to help her, but I hated seeing her like this and somehow I felt guilty. I only kept watching her from a far. I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I decided that I should do anything to make her feel better, for her to smile at me again. After classes ended, I waited for her at the front gates. When I finally saw her coming out, I waved to grab her attention, she saw me and nodded. “What’s up?”

“I’m taking you away.”

“What?” she asked with confusion written on her face. “I said I’m taking you away.”

“From?”

“From whatever’s making you look like this.” I pointed at her and she rolled her eyes offended but before she could fire back at me I said:”and whatever made you… smile… disappear.”, she opened but closed it again looking away. “Come on.” I took her hand in mine and walked to call for a taxi, she didn’t resist nor argue. “See! This’s what I’m talking about. You didn’t even argue with me to let you go or anything.”

“Even if I resist, you would still drag me out anyway.” She sighed and folded her arms.

“Amusement park?” I heard her ask sarcastically. “Oh come on! Don’t tell me you don’t like amusement parks.” She shook her head “I’ve never gone to any before.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope…” she paused and sighed “I’ve always wanted to go to one when I was young… like any other child. But, my father… was kind of always busy… and it never worked out. And then I grew up and I don’t feel as enthusiastic about it as I was.”

“You’re about to change your mind, let’s GO!” I smiled and grabbed her hand once again, I think it’s becoming a habit and I’m kind of liking it. “What should we try first?” I  thought to myself, then looked at her who seemed to be amazed by all the lights and games in here, she was looking everywhere till her eyes landed on something. She pointed at some game. “This. Let’s try this one.” I smiled and nodded heading towards the game. “Oh my god I never knew you were a scaredy-cat!” she was laughing so hard after getting out from one of the games, and I could say it was a horrible one. “I’m not!” I said defensively. “You should have seen your face really! Especially at the end.” She was still laughing wholeheartedly, and even though I was really embarrassed right now but seeing her laugh like this made me giddy and I joined her laughing at myself. We stopped laughing, taking our breath, the sky was getting darker now. Then I saw the Ferris wheel lights shining not so far away. “Hey come on, one last ride and we go for dinner.”

“Already?” she pouted, and I was the first time for me to see this expression on her face, she looked so cute and I struggled to hold myself back from pinching her cheeks. I faked a cough looking away and walking to the Ferris wheel. “You know, this was the ride I wanted to try the most when I was a kid.” She paused smiling looking at the ground that’s getting smaller and smaller as we go up “always wanted to know how it feels like to fly.”

 “Actually I never liked this when I was young, but… my brother…he was the one that persuaded me to get on it with him. At first, I was really scared but when he held my hand I felt safe and somehow it became my favorite ride in here.”

“You really love your brother..”

“Yeah, he’s… he’s always encouraged me and taught me lots of things, and he’s the only family I’ve got left.” Suddenly I felt a rush of emotions and realized that I really miss my brother, and I want to spend time with him like we always did. “I kind of envy you, having someone who’s got your back.” She sighed “How nice would it be to have someone like this.” Silence followed that sentence but didn’t last more than a couple of minutes. “You never asked me…” she seemed a little he