✤ Hana

“Do you have any plans this weekend?” I heard Kai ask as we’re finished for the last lecture of the day, I looked at him thinking a bit then I remembered I had to meet up with Min then go to my aunt’s diner. “Yeah, I’m kind of busy on Saturday…”

“So you’re free on Sunday then?” I shook my head and sighed “I’ve to study for the upcoming exam.” He gave me a bored look and I just shrugged. We didn’t talk as we walked out of the campus, and as I passed the bus station he was still walking beside me, I gave him a side glance looking at his expression he seemed relaxed with hands in his pockets, “Where are you going?” I asked slowly as I came to a stop. “Where are you going?” he asked me stopping as well. “Home?” I said like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, he looked behind at the bus station and raised an eyebrow with a confused expression “I’m walking today instead.” I said simply. He nodded and looked ahead as well “Okay then, I’m walking with you.”

“Why?” I asked stupidly, it’s not that I don’t want him to walk me home or anything, it’s been awhile since the last time we went out together, but I think I’m still not used to his gentle side no matter how many times he’d showed it to me. He shrugged and didn’t answer anyway so I brushed the idea away and decided to just enjoy our walk home instead of wondering way too much and coming to useless conclusions. To my surprise and dismay as well, Kai’s brother met us half-way home. At first, when we saw him, I felt Kai become tense and he came forward holding my hands, at that very moment I felt like he was trying to protect me from his brother. But as I thought of it again, I felt like it was a really stupid idea, why would he do such a thing.

“Hey!” his brother exclaimed happily as he saw us. We both greeted him back, but then he noticed our hands and looked a little surprised, his cheerful façade somehow twitched and I could sense anger and confusion in his eyes as he gave me an unreadable look. I gulped and I could feel my heart beating fast, I looked at Kai who was still glaring at his own brother. “What are you doing here?” Kai asked in a serious tone, and I was surprised at how he talked to him. “Just walking around, I was heading home anyway, I missed you, little brother.” He softened and I could feel Kai relax a little but still holding my hands, which his brother looked at again then looked back at us “I see that as you’re dating now.” he said smugly probably faking interest. Kai let go of my hand the moment he said that and I felt kind of disappointed and a little hurt maybe. We weren’t dating anyway so why did this affect me so much?

“You can walk the rest on your own, right? I’ll be going now.” And he just had to say that to make me feel worse, right? “What are you talking about? We should take her home! Your parents raised you to be a gentleman Jongin.” Kai snickered and looked at his brother in disbelief, he opened his mouth to say something but decided against it as he looked at me. “It’s fine, I can go alone. It’s just a couple of blocks anyway and it didn’t go completely dark just yet.” I took the slight hint in his eyes, I don’t know what was on his mind entirely but I’m sure he just wanted to get away with his brother, and I could just give him that. I smiled at his brother “And no, we’re not dating.”. I looked at Kai who seemed relieved, but somehow his eyes looked slightly hurt. Was it his brother, or what I just said? He didn’t try to deny it to his brother anyway, so does that mean he thinks we’re dating? But we’re not, we’re almost at each other’s throat most of the time. I can’t deny that we had some sweet moments, but they don’t mean anything. Or do they? I was thinking the whole remaining distance to my home about what just happened that I almost missed my home. But everything seemed so chaotic and they happened so fast. One moment we were actually talking about something interesting and Kai looked happy and relaxed, but the moment his brother appeared he tensed and looked very uncomfortable, I wonder if something had happened between them. I couldn’t stop thinking about my last encounter with him as well when he told me to get away from Kai, and as I thought about it again I wondered what did he mean by not only Kai would get hurt and why did he say such a thing? Too many thoughts occupied my mind until I could feel my eyes getting heavier and falling into a deep sleep that didn’t last long anyway. Nightmares again.

Next day I was dragged by Min to the mall to buy a new dress, apparently, some guy is throwing a big party next week and everyone can go. So, Min decided that I should go as well to have some fun and according to her, I need to live my age and go out to party and all that useless girls’ talk. Simply I can’t say no to her or I have to suffer from her nagging me every single day till I finally agree to go with her.

“But I don’t even know the guy!” I exclaimed trying to convince her for the last time, but she just shrugged examining the dress and said “You don’t have to, it’s a party for everyone” not giving me a glance. I sighed and rolled my eyes “I don’t get why do I have to go to a party with people I don’t know.” I reasoned, she finally looked at me then with a bored expression.

“Look, you’re going with me, okay? Come on Hana, when was the last time you ever went to a party, we need to have some fa-un.”, she sang the last part as she looked back at the dress but gave a dissatisfying look putting back to its place. Nevertheless, she ran to another one squealing “Oh this one is so cute, I’m going to try it out while you look for a good one for yourself okay?” she asked and I just nodded. I walked through the store looking for something suitable for me though I had no idea what to wear. I’m not really a dress up kind of girl and I always think that these dresses won’t look good for me, I went to Min in the dressing room to see if she was finished or what. “Hey what do you think?” she asked stepping out from the fitting room, I looked at her and smiled she was really pretty in that dress, I gave her thumbs up and a satisfying nod, she gave me a wide smile and rushed to change back to her original clothes. When she came out she looked at my empty hands and raised an eyebrow “Don’t think you’re going to run away from me, where’s your dress?”.

“I can’t find anything good.” I shrugged “Are you paying for this?” I pointed at the dress trying to distract her but failed miserably as she grabbed my hand and walked with me saying that she will choose one for me instead, I sighed and wished for the ground to me in any moment. She showed me different dresses at which I shook my head, they were so not my style. Until my eyes laid on a plum A-line laced-neck dress that reached my knees, it was so simple but so very beautiful and I liked the color so much, I went to get a closer look at it and smiled slightly. I could feel Min coming and standing behind me. “What are you waiting for?” she asked grabbing the dress and handed it to me “Go try it out.” Then she pushed me to the fitting rooms again without waiting for my reply. I hesitated for a while before trying it out, it was like I’m afraid to ruin the beautiful dress with my ugly self, but the moment I saw my reflection in the mirror I smiled to myself, it wasn’t that bad after all, I turned around looking at it from ever