You know that I can't

Show you Me

Give you Me

I can't show you my ugly side 

So I'm putting on a mask to go see you 

But I still want you

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✤ Hana

 So many thoughts are running through my mind, it feels like it is going to explode. I was not really that curious about the relationship between Kai and his brother but now things are different, scarier and confusing. I told him that I did trust him but I am not so sure right now. Everything is starting to make sense, what his brother said and what other people said about him. NO! What am I thinking? He is not that kind of person.

“Honey, why are you not eating? Does it taste bad?” I looked up dazed “What?” I looked down at my plate and I just realized that I have been only playing with my food “Oh! No, no it’s just that I’m not really hungry right now.” I looked back at my aunt again apologetically. “I’m sorry.” She looked worried “Is everything okay?” I let out a small sigh “I don’t know.” I looked out the window and I saw Kai standing there hands in his pockets. We kept staring into each other’s eyes for a minute, nobody is moving.

“Did you guys fight?” my aunt asked as she put a comforting hand on my shoulder, I broke eye contact and shook my head “No, we didn’t.” yet. I grabbed my bag and gave her a quick kiss “I’ll be back” she nodded sorry still obvious on her face “Be careful honey.” I gave her one last wave before heading out the door. I do not know what I should tell him, I was not sure I actually wanted to talk to him right now so I let him take the lead. “Let’s go to the park.” He said and reached for my hand but I flinched involuntarily, which did not go unnoticed by him. He pulled his hand back and nodded slightly leading the way. I sighed and followed behind him. The park was not very far yet it felt so long and it was absolutely one of the most awkward moment I have ever had with Kai.

A few moments passed in silence after we settled on an empty bench, both avoiding looking at the other person. “I am sorry.” I heard his soft voice. Still not looking at me.

“Why are you sorry?” I said slightly, he did not do anything wrong, did he? “for what happened earlier I mean.” “And why should YOU be sorry Kai?” I said emphasizing ‘you’ pushing my hair back in annoyance “What did you do wrong to apologize for?”

Now he looked at me deeply in the eyes “Everything.” He sighed and continued “Sorry about my brother… he was drunk and not in the right state of mind.” He nodded to himself “He gets a little crazy when he drinks.” I let out an incredulous scoff