“Always come to me and lean on me

I hope you’ll just think of me

Forget the sounds of the world for a moment tonight

Put down everything that’s tying you down

Then look at me

Look at your reflection in my eyes, look at my love

Don’t be afraid

Show me your soft heart

Show me your mind

With your tired heart

Listen to me now”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✤ Kai

“Jongin… jongin! Wait!!”  I couldn’t take it anymore, I turned around then gave him a hefty shove and he nearly fell down. “Kai!” he breathed out. “What the hell are you doing?” I gave him another shove my voice getting louder “And don’t dare say that bull you said back there, getting to know my friend!” he was quiet for a moment then his expression turned serious “I’m trying to protect us, cause if you failed to notice she was the girl who saw me that day. She’s danger to us.” He said emphasizing the last part making me sigh “And what if she is? Are you going to kill her, too? How far yet do you have to go?” my voice cracked, it was making me exhausted “She won’t do anything to us, she doesn’t even remember you!”

“Eventually she will Jongin, and then we both will be ruined! We can’t wait until this happens,” he grabbed my shirt making me stumble forward and his voice turned completely venomous, it was like he’s someone else, he wasn’t my brother who I grew up with and it was making me terrified because it seems like the possibility of turning him to his old-self again was close to zero, there was no way to help him. But I didn’t want to give up just yet, and at the same time, I didn’t know what I should do. “Like we’re not already ruined!” I said pushing his hands away, regaining my balance “Please stay away from her, I’m not only protecting her but I’m protecting my brother. Trying to stop you from getting your hands bloody again…” I could feel my eyes watering, but he didn’t seem to be convinced about this as he said: “We’ll talk later.” With that, he turned and left me alone.

The dance studio was my only stress reliever, whenever I had a bad time or had a big argument with my parents I would come here and dance my heart out just like what I’m doing right now. I don’t know for how long have I been dancing and even my body was aching, but I continued dancing till I collapsed on the floor panting. It wasn’t working, I can’t get my mind off things I grabbed the remote and stopped the music then threw it off somewhere probably breaking it into pieces. It felt like Deja Vu, then this person popped into my mind, I didn’t hesitate as I pulled out my cell phone and sent her a message. I waited for two hours and there was no reply, then I remembered that we have an exam today, I cursed loudly. Fortunately, I found the remote still working and in once piece so I played the music again and started off dancing one more time trying to ignore all the physical and emotional pain.

One more hour passed and all my power was completely drained, I went to set at the back grabbing a water bottle on the way with the music still on. I checked my cellphone for any reply, but I found nothing I sighed turning it off and rested my head on my knees that were pulled close to my chest and closed my eyes. A couple of moments later the music was turned off, I looked up and found her standing near the stereo looking at me, she took a careful step closer as she asked if I was okay. I nodded my head weakly and she looked unconvinced,

 “Why… didn’t you come today? You missed an important exam..” I nodded again having no strength to say anything. However, I stood up and took closer steps to her as she asked again if I was okay, I was now only inches away from her looking deeply into her eyes searching for reassurance. She looked nervous as she stared back at me, suddenly I could feel her cold slender fingers caressing my cheek so softly. “You’re not okay,” she whispered and I shook my head, I didn’t think too much about what I did next. I closed the gap between us as I put my arms around her tiny waist hugging her tightly, hands clenching onto her shirt and my head resting on her shoulder. I could feel her body stiffen at first but it soon relaxed and I felt her wrapping her hands around me and patting my back.

 “Just stay like this for a while.” I whispered and she nodded slightly humming. Her warmth made me feel calm again, and somehow my worries seemed too far away at the moment. I liked how she felt in my arms, how her small body fit with mine just like our hands, I snuggled into her neck breathing in her beautiful scent that gave me a rush of serenity. I definitely liked this, I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. After a couple of moment, I pulled away slowly but my hands were still holding her, our faces only inches apart that I could feel her hot breath on my face as she looked at me, I smiled completely pulling away. “Thank you.” She shook her head looking down embarrassed a tint of red visible on her cheeks. “Let’s go somewhere?” she said and I nodded grabbing my jacket as we went out. We walked in silence until we reached an ice-cream booth and she looked at me smiling widely “You know, it’s said that ice-cream is the best solution for any problem.” I laughed “Okay, ice-cream it is.” As I was pulled out my wallet to pay, she shook her head saying “My treat.”, no matter how much I refused she insisted and ended up paying anyway.

“Hmm, this is heaven.” She talked to herself while eating the ice-cream humming happily in her own world, and I couldn’t help but smile because it was adorable. And I appreciated that she didn’t mention what happened yesterday, but I knew I had to say something, I owe her an explanation. “So…” I started as we sat down on a bench in the park I took her to once “About yesterday..”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” she said with a smile, but I shook my head slightly “I want to.” I breathed in taking time thinking from where should I start “I should say sorry first, though, that I stormed off like that.” I sighed “I just.. It was awful, what happened that day. We suddenly got a phone call from the hospital saying that our parents were found dead in a car accident.” I paused holding back my tears afraid that my voice will break “Then a week later we found out that it was actually a deliberate accident, the police figured that out but covered it up.” The memories came flooding back, I looked away I didn’t want her to see the tears in my eyes. “You don't know who was it?” I expected her to ask that, but I didn’t know exactly what to tell her, but then I remembered that I promised my brother so I shook my head not saying anything. “Everything changed since that day and I haven't been myself and I shunned everyone out of my life. There was a time that I felt sorry for the people I pushed away but as time passed I realized that if only one of them really cared about me they wouldn’t have given up… ” she nodded slowly.

“But… you and your brother… something is off.” She said carefully and I gave her a sad smile “I told you everything’s changed.” She nodded again, none of us spoke for next couple of minutes. Her mind was absorbing all these new information while mine was trying to push these memories away. “But… “ she took a long breath and continued without looking at me “you have me now” she looked down as a blush crept up her cheeks “and umm… I won’t give up on you.”, then she seemed to gather up her courage and look at me, her cheeks turned even a brighter shade of pink and smiled, she looked away again quickly faking a cough. I smiled at her even though she wasn’t really looking at me, I reached out my hands and tilted her chin making her face me, she didn’t look into my face at first, but slowly her eyes looked at mine biting her lips. “Thank you.” I said softly, I couldn’t stop myself from inching forward, and her biting her lips wasn’t helping my mind to function well, once again our faces were so close, I tilted my head a little watching her eyes flatter close and mine did just the same.

 “Ah!” I let out a yelp as I felt something hitting my leg, we pulled away and I looked to the right only to find two little guys looking at us mouth wide open. “We..we..we’re v-very s-s-s-orry!” one of them stuttered looking at me, I was really pissed off so I probably looked like I would kill any of them at the moment. “It’s okay,” Hana said, I looked at her. Really?! She picked up the thing I was hit with, which turned out to be a football, went to give it to them, they took it and ran off,  but she stood still probably embarrassed. What the hell was I thinking? I went up and stood next to her looking everywhere else but her “We should go now, it’s getting colder.”, she only nodded rubbing her hands together trying to warm up her hands. We were heading to the bus station and