My dearest Yoona,

How have you been? I’m afraid when you receive this letter, it’ll mean I’m already not part of this world. First, I would just like to say my death is not your fault. I love you. I meant it when I said I love you that morning and I mean it now. I wish it was just a friendly love because that would make everything easier however it’s a different kind of love. The love that makes a person do crazy things. I love you with all my heart and soul, my whole being. Do you remember the first time you met Jungkook and you told me he made you feel breathless with butterflies that wouldn’t stop fluttering? Well, that’s how I’ve always felt when I was around you, only triple times that. Every smile you shot my way, every time you called my name sent my stomach in knots (in a good way).

I thought of telling you about my feelings earlier but I was afraid of what you would think. Would you accept me with open arms when you’re in love with another man? Would you be scared by the intensity of my love for you? Alas, when I did try my attempt was laughed off as a joke. But I don’t blame you. That was bad timing on my part. I had nine years without interruption to confess but I was too chicken to do it.

Secondly, I’m sorry, I’m sorry for committing such a selfish act. I’m sorry for leaving you with the aftermath and for not being there to comfort you. I’m sorry for not letting you intervene. The pain is just too much for me to handle. It’s pitiful but I thought there was a ray of hope up until you tied the knot. How could I anticipate the break up of a marriage especially one that was a baby coming on the way? It’s good that you got married though, I was starting to worry about his commitment to you.

If it’s not too much to ask, when you tell your kids about me, tell them about our adventures, mishaps, friendship, the fun we used to have, how much I valued you as a friend and not how weak I was.

Lastly, don’t cry for me. I got my night with you and it’s all I needed. Please live your life to the fullest, I love everything about you but most of all your smile. So please smile when you remember me. And please continue to spread your contagious laugh and joy as you did for me. That’s all I can hope for.

With Love,

Jimin

Wet drops dampened the already tear stained handwritten lette