Checking the time again as I finished writing the last sentence of my letter, I hurriedly folded it and then rushed out of the apartment. I had spent the last hour writing it in Korean, trying my best with my dictionary and electronic translator in hand. Even though the other girls weren't the nicest of people, and the times we spent together might not have been the best, we had all shared the same dreams and the same vigorous training. Even though we had a language barrier, a cultural barrier, and countless other differences between us, we were ultimately in the same position. Parting with them might not be as painful, but a parting is a parting, and they're always difficult to some degree. It doesn't matter if there were bad memories, what counts is that there was always a bit of joy through the hardships. 

When I made it outside, my manager was already there, waiting with my luggage beside his car.

I had stuffed as much as I could in my bags, having had no time to fold everything properly, and so I had left the rest of the stuff. I just wanted to be out of there as fast as possible. I couldn't stand it anymore...after what happened yesterday with Chen, I never wanted to have that feeling again.

The feeling of losing yourself, losing your mind, having your heart torn out. 

Time would heal everything, I told myself. A different environment would help too, with nothing to remind me of the days in Korea.

"Are you ready?" my manager asked, the keys in his hand.

"Yes," I replied firmly, knowing that it was either now or never.

Everything would be fine.

My manager would drive me to the airport, and then I would finally have some time to myself, and some room to breathe. I'd keep my sunglasses on so that nobody recognizes me, and so that my swollen, red eyes will be hidden. It'd be fine. The flight would be long, but I'd finally get some time to just rest and catch up on the precious sleep I'd lost during all this training. Everything would be fine.

But still, the thought of leaving just felt weird, making my stomach clench. It's almost like it didn't quite feel right, yet, I was sure there's nothing more right than this.

I tried not to think about the reasons why I should stay. He would be fine without me, I repeated in my mind, trying not to break down for the umpteenth time today. Everything would be fine. When I get back home, I would be able to see my family and friends again, and my cat too. I'd be able to have the home-cooked food that I had missed so much, and I would be able to go to my university in September and learn the things I'm interested in. 

I got into the van as I waited for my manager to finish putting the luggage in the trunk. Looking out the window, I spent a good amount of time just staring at the company building for the last time, trying to commit it to memory as best I could.

Then my manager got into the car and started the engine.

This was it. I would be leaving forever.

"No!" a voice suddenly shouted.

The gloomy atmosphere in the room was suffocating, and the rainy day outside the giant floor-to-ceiling glass windows just helped to emphasize that more. Filled with helpless frustration, everyone remained silent as they entered the room and sat down, not looking up as they already knew what this meeting was about.

All of their efforts were wasted as one unfortunate event perpetuated into another, and the walls of progress they had built came crashing down even harder than their company's stocks. The scandal hadn't just been about young forbidden romance and falling careers, but it was actually a wakeup call for the whole company, an alert to tell them that they had failed. That he had failed.

The CEO heaved a sigh and reluctantly called the meeting to its start. "As you all know, in light of recent events, we have lost a lot of things. Rachel, for one, who I had thought would've made the perfect trainee, has chosen to withdraw from our company to pursue her education back home in the States. I'm sorry that it had to come to this." He paused, thinking about how to phrase the next series of sentences. "Her scandal hadn't just proven how dangerous the industry could be, but it also proved that our new trainee system was indeed flawed, in the way that no one would've ever thought about. In that sense, the company is also to blame for this unfortunate event having occurred, as we were the ones to push forward with the whole idol-trainee interaction system.

"On the surface it seemed like a good idea, and perhaps the trainees did improve greatly from where they were before. But there were consequences that we never thought possible, and this scandal has brought those forward."

He slammed his hand down on the table, startling the people around him with his impulsive action. He just felt so frustrated, like all these months were a waste and they were back to exactly where they had started. Except for the fact that their stocks were now much lower, the moods of the whole company in the dumps, and EXO was suffering too.

"Sorry," he ran his fingers through his hair, breathing slowly and deeply to calm down. "Anyway, right now our company clearly isn't in the best state. EXO's world tour will go on as planned, which will call for extra practice and rehearsals to make it up to the fans that are awaiting them. It's probably best to schedule a break in after the tour and before their next tentative comeback, staying out of the limelight for a while because of the recent events.

"As for the trainees," he paused, some wistful thinking done as he gazed out at the clouded sky, "it would either be a really good or a really bad idea to debut a new group this year." His statement left a deafening silence scattering through the room as the other board members looked up at him in surprise. "Good, because it would definitely draw the attention off of EXO and the scandal while trying to rebuild our company's image. Bad, because it might in fact draw more attention to the other trainees that are getting ready to debut, with a lot of questioning behind Rachel and where she is, and of course, bringing attention back to the scandal, which is exactly what we're trying to avoid."

"Sir, what do you suggest we do about the new trainee system? Abolish it completely?" One of the managers on the team spoke up, making the CEO's head hurt with all of this stress.

"Are there any other suggestions as to what to do about that?"

"I believe that instead of eliminating the system, we can simply apply some changes to avoid any chance of future consequences like this," the manager swallowed nervously before continuing. "To start, the new system should only be incorporated in the top tier to limit exposure, but at the same time, this would still help their transition as rookie idols. As well, there should be a system of alternating idols that the top tier trainees get to work with, for getting a better blend of advice and skills while at the same time, limiting exposure as said before." The manager thought for a while, taking a deep breath before he added one last part. "And maybe new trainees should always get added to the bottom level at first, no matter how good they are, or in this case, who they're going to debut with."

An eerie stillness crept into the room and over the table as the manager's words slowly sank in, taking them back to the incident that had occurred three years ago.  

Maybe if he realized that earlier, it would've prevented him from failing this time. 

So sorry for not updating in 2948937483274 years. I've been like chained to school this entire time (/'_'\) ALSO I shall get to replying to comments soon oops I didn't mean to ignore you guys ahhh sorryyy
What did you guys think of EXO-CBX though!! Hey Mama is my jam right now :D