I didn't know what to think anymore. What to make of this situation. What to make of us and everything that we've gone through. 

But then again, there really was never a situation in the first place. He has Minnie, and was just kind enough to help me through these dark trainee days while I'm here, and then we became good friends. He probably wanted to keep his personal life, well, personal, so he told me that he had a schedule to attend to. Then when I leave this place, he'll forget me, and EXO will continue to be successful. End of story.

I just can't believe I was over-thinking the circumstances this entire time.

I wasn't quite ready to face him, especially after going through such an embarrassing event, but today was probably going to be the last time I'll see him anyway, so I plastered a bright smile on my face and entered the practice room.

"Hello," I greeted, dipping my head slightly, gladly avoiding his gaze while closing the door behind me. He was playing a piece on the piano when I had interrupted, but stopped as I walked over. Chen's caramel hair was neatly styled today, his usual fringe swept up and out of his face, forming tousled peaks at the top. He was wearing a casual getup of white and blue striped long sleeved shirt and jeans that ended just above his ankles, just like his usual style.

It scared me how much I noticed about him.

"Oh hey," he said, as I noticed how he slid over to the far side of the piano bench so I could sit right beside him today. Back to how it normally was, it seemed. "How's it going?"

"The usual," I shrugged, pulling my books out and setting them on flat surface of the digital piano. "What's new with you?"

He seemed to hesitate a bit when I looked over, as if unsure he should let a secret slip out. There was a feeling a budding tension in the atmosphere between us, though I tried to shake it off as best I could.

"EXO's next world tour's already been set." His mouth twitched at the corners, forming a smile of sorts, but somehow it didn't seem to reach his eyes. His eyes that looked strangely guarded today, unreadable and without their usual mischievous twinkle.

"Wow that's great! You guys are so popular that your schedules must be completely filled while you're overseas." I snuck a glance at his reaction after I said that, somehow almost expecting the slight flinch that I saw. I took out a pencil from my bag casually, acting nonchalant.

"Yeah, it's pretty exciting." Something sounded different in his voice today, like it was missing the melodic timbre that was usually so apparent. "I hope there'll be a lot of international fans there."

"Of course," I smiled, "ah maybe I'll even go watch you guys if you have a stop in California."

He frowned at my words, and that's when I realized where I had slipped up. "Oh, are you heading back or something?"

"Uh, just to visit my family, you know, maybe I'll bring them along or something too." I coughed, my words tumbling out clumsily, my Chinese grammar clearly not able to keep up with my nervousness. "Anyway, last chapter of the theory book today! Analysis doesn't actually seem to be too bad comparing to the previous chapters." Pulling out the workbook, I set it on the piano in front of me. I was somehow all too aware; Chen sitting so close beside me, and the occasional light brush of his arm against mine sending all those neurons tingling. It made the room feel all too small and cramped, giving me a sense of claustrophobia. Why was I even feeling this way now?

"Um, about what you said the other day..." He started, making my heart stop as I realized that him bringing it up was exactly what I was afraid of. I flipped open my book to the last page, staring hard at the music analysis exercises, too afraid to look anywhere near him, as my pulse seemed to speed up exponentially.

"No, no, it was nothing. You can forget about it. Let's just focus on theory, okay?" I didn't want to embarrass myself further or make things any more awkward between us. Maybe that's why I was feeling so self-conscious today.

This was how it's supposed to be. I'm just another trainee, a nobody. And soon you'll forget about me anyway.

"Rachel..."

"I really didn't mean it. Just pretend I never said anything." I looked straight at him. His face was unreadable, eyes darkened and filled with a mix of expressions that I hadn't seen on him before. "Anyway, can you help me with this question?"

He snapped out of it as I pointed to the analysis question in the theory book. I had already read the section of the book and understood most of it, but I had to at least try to destroy the apprehensive atmosphere.

"Uh, for the sonata form, the exposition is basically the beginning right? For the development, you should be looking for a modulation out of the home key, usually to the dominant key or the relative major, if the home key is minor." I could feel his eyes on me the whole time, and I was purposely avoiding them by staring down at my book endlessly.

My eyes scanned the piece, looking for a key change, which should be indicated by the addition of an accidental. But in my head, all I could feel was that building tension in the room. I labelled the development segment using square brackets at the beginning and end of the section, and capital letters indicating the different parts of it.

"Rachel-ah, I really don't understand..." Chen's voice was gentle, hesitant, barely audible if it wasn't for the restless silence flooding the room.

"Hmm? Wait, wouldn't this be the development section? See, there's an extra accidental here, indicating the modulation to the dominant key, then over here it goes back to the home key, which would be the recapitulation." I rambled more to myself than to him, trying to fill the silence that kept reoccurring. I turned my head towards him questioningly, but avoiding his gaze.

"Yes, that's correct," he said slowly, "but that's not what I meant at all..."

It was absolutely still in the room as I waited for him to continue, eyes boring holes through the page as I focused on it intensely. Even the soft hum of electricity running through the lights seemed to die down as I emerged from my thoughts to the stagnant air. It felt like a foreboding calm before the storm that I was sailing straight into; air hushed despite the impending disturbance. The only thing I could hear was how hard my heart was pounding and the blood rushing through my ears.

No, I had to stop this before it got out of hand. It almost felt like this could be a lead up to another one of his pranks, where he probably was planning on teasing me about last week's incident. I was already dying of humiliation and stress inside, and I was afraid some tears might actually end up being shed if he brought it up.

"Chen sunbaenim, I'm really grateful for your help throughout the past few months. Thank you for taking care of me and welcoming me to the company. Because of you, and everything you've done, I've not failed at any of my lessons too much. But now since we're done the theory and EXO is going to be very busy with all the schedules and overseas activities, I think it'll be best if I don't take up so much of your time anymore. So this will probably be the last time you'll see me, though I'll be sure to go cheer you guys on at your music shows when I have time. I'll work really hard so that one day, if we ever meet again, I'll be good enough."

I stood up and started gathering my books together, seeing no point in staying here for the full hour that we had together. I bowed at him deeply and formally, then picked up my bag. Despite looking at everything except for his face, I could still feel the surprise, confusion, and hurt written all over him. I tried not to think about that.

"Good luck with everything." I tried to smile at him weakly before turning towards the door even though I wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and take back my words. 

I feel like I haven't updated in ages omg sorry guys >.< thanks for all the support though <3
Luhan's movie was great ^^ if you like mystery thrillers with a dash of hot guy, a bit of cute dog, and possibly some cute date scenes then go go go ;)
Also, Luhan's Chinese Running Man season 3 has started, episode 1 is already out with Eng subs! Go go go! I'm going to be helping out with subbing so wish me luck~ 
Why am I such a Luhan stan, this is a Jongdae fic I'M SORRY
P.S. SOME EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTERS COMING YOUR WAY ;)