Kayla drained the pasta, running warm water over it. She then checked the sauce, making sure the flavor was just right, she really hoped Kyu Jong liked pasta. Luckily she’d gone shopping the day before and had picked up a fresh loaf of Italian bread and fixings for salad, she’d been planning to have an Italian dinner at some point, just not quite so soon, still she was glad she’d been prepared, she wrapped the bread in foil and stuck it in the oven for a few minutes to warm it up. For dessert she had a nice French Silk Pie that she’d picked up on a whim that she could serve, he hoped he liked chocolate. Most people did, but she herself wasn’t as crazy about it as a lot of people were, she had to be in the mood for it.

Just then her phone went off, hurrying to the table, she picked it up to see she’d gotten a new text message, opening it to find it was from Terrance.

Not going to b able to call tnght, I’ll b in touch, sry! - T

Kayla slammed the phone down on the table, her anger welling up; it was the third time this week he’d cancelled. It was just a phone call, but he couldn’t even do that. Turning, she headed back to the kitchen, checking on the bread in the oven before slamming the door shut harder than needed. She was truly fed up, she couldn’t take it anymore, is lack of consideration for her was growing and she was tired of accepting it. Part of this was her own fault, setting the expectation that she’d always be so forgiving had led to this. Kayla decided then that she would have that talk with him like she’d been thinking about, enough was enough.

There was a knock at the door; she took a calming breath before heading over and opening the door, quickly forcing a smile on her lips.

“Hey K, c’mon in,” she said, motioning for him to come in, shutting the door after him.

She took his coat as he pulled his boots off and followed her into the kitchen.

“I hope you like pasta with tomato sauce,” she said, looking at him.

He nodded, “Ne, I do.”

“Great, there’s that with Italian bread and a salad I’m gonna throw together and a nice pie for dessert.”

“Sounds good, do you need help?”

“No no, I’m ok,” she said, giving him a small smile and then pulled the loaf of bread out the oven, getting a sharp bread knife down.

“I can cut the bread at least.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I don’t mind, please, allow me,” Kyu Jong said quietly.

“Well ok, here’s the basket and the cutting board,” she said, setting them down on the table.

He sat and she handed him the knife and the warm loaf and he took them both carefully and started to cut. She grabbed the head of lettuce out, tarring it into small pieces before putting it into a large bowl. She cut the tomatoes, carrots and cucumbers and threw those in too. She went back to check on the sauce again, she’d thrown a few turkey meatballs in as well for flavor and wanted to make sure they were well marinated. Her thoughts once again drifting to Terrance and her anger came back anew, walking over she took the glasses she had frosting out the freezer and slammed the door shut, setting them down harshly. She then grabbed a bottle of water out as well as a can of pop before slamming the fridge door harshly.

“Kayla…” came the soft voice.

She whirled around, startled, the can and bottle slipping from her hands. Kyu Jong reached out, quickly grabbing them before they hit the floor.

“! Sorry K, I’m sorry!” She said frantically.

She was so angry she could literally feel herself shaking. Kayla hadn’t even heard him come up so close to her, she’d been so lost in her thoughts.

“Kayla? Are you ok?” Kyu Jong said worriedly, his eyes searching hers in concern as he set the bottle and can down on the counter.

Kayla nodded quickly, “Yes, sorry, my mind was elsewhere.”

“Do you need to sit? I can finish up.”

“No no, I’m fine, really. Please have a seat and I’ll bring everything out,” she said, giving him an apologetic smile.

He stared at her a moment longer before heading over to sit at the table. She took a calming breath, she had to relax. Kayla brought the glasses over then his bottle of water and her can of pop, setting them down. Next she loaded two plates with a huge mound of pasta, setting on down in front of him and the other in her spot followed by a huge bowl of sauce in the center with a ladle. She then brought a bowl of salad over and set it next to the sauce as well along with a few bottles of different dressings. Walking back to the fridge, she got the jar of grated cheese out and set it on the table along with silverware.

“Sorry, I don’t have any chopsticks,” she frowned.

Kyu Jong waved her off, “It is ok, sit please.”

She gave him a small smile before sitting, they started to eat quietly, Kayla was having a hard time enjoying the food though, her thoughts kept drifting to Terrance. She roughly tore off a piece of bread and shoved it into , chewing hard. She had to get in touch with him, they were going to have a talk, this had to stop. Kayla poured a heavy amount of dressing over her salad and then stabbed at it harshly, the fork actually grazing the bottom of the bowl, making a light screeching sound.

“Kayla…”

She looked up to find Kyu Jong watching her, once again worry in his eyes.

“Huh?”

He continued to watch her, waiting.

“I’m doing it again right? I’m a crappy hostess,” she sighed, setting her fork down in disgust.

“Ani…”

“I am, I’m really sorry, I’ll do better, I will.”

“Something happened,” he said, it wasn’t a question, but said as a fact.

“Sort of, just have some junk going on, it’s distracting me, it shouldn’t be but…ya know what? Forget it; I’m not going to bother you with it.”

Kyu Jong frowned, “You are not bothering me, you’re obviously upset, you almost hurt yourself there in the kitchen, you’re on edge, and I am worried.

That was refreshing, to actually have someone who wasn’t her brother or her co-workers and close friends, worry about her, it felt good.

“Thank you K, I appreciate that. I’m ok, just…got some annoying news right before you go here and I guess it’s bothering me more than I though it would. It’s stupid really,” she sighed.

“Ani, it’s not, you’re upset, tense, I can feel it. It’s most certainly not stupid if it’s making you feel that way.”

Kayla stared at him, struggling to hold back tears, what was it about him that made her want to tell him everything? He made it so easy for her to just lose herself in his presence, it became stronger and stronger every time they were together, she wasn’t used to the feeling.

She rubbed at her head, “It feels that way, the whole thing,” she looked back up at him, “Do you ever feel like you’re being used? I mean, people take for granted you’re always going to be there, they treat you bad and you always make excuses to everyone else, but mainly to yourself because…because…” she stopped.

“Because you want them in your life, because they are comfortable and you do love them, you’re just not getting back what you’re giving,” Kyu Jong said, giving her a sad smile.

“Oh wow, yes K, that’s it exactly, yes,” she whispered.

Kyu Jong nodded, “Ne, I know.”

“I don’t know what to do,” she said, picking her fork up and shoving some pasta in . “I mean, there’s things I can do, but doing them is hard, I have to though, after today it will happen,” she announced firmly between bites.

Kyu Jong nodded, smiling as he took another bite as well.

“I just have to work up the courage to do it.”

He nodded again, “You can, you’re strong.”

She smiled, “Thanks K that means a lot.”

“No need to thank me,” Kyu Jong smiled.

“You have this faith in me and you haven’t even known me long.”

“Yes, but I can tell you are strong, I don’t have to have known you long to see it.”

Kayla smiled, when he said it, she almost felt it.

The Next Day

She stared at her phone, she could do this, it was sad she even had to, but it was the only way. She touched the screen; she tapped the speed dial and waited, a few seconds later a woman answered.

“Yes hello, I’d like to schedule an appointment with Terrance Hartland please…yes…yes Kayla Jacobs, yes…I am very serious…that’s right. Tomorrow at one, that’s perfect, can you please not tell him it’s me? Yes thank you, bye.”

Kayla ended the call and set the phone down, sighing heavily. This was so stupid, she couldn’t believe she had to resort to this to see her boyfriend and she had to hide it to make sure it didn’t mysteriously get cancelled.

She picked the phone back up and pressed the number for another speed dial.

“Hello?”

It’s me.”

“Oh hey, what’s up?”

“I did like you said, I made an appointment to see him, tomorrow at one, I asked the receptionist to not tell him it was me,” she said.

Chanile sighed, “Make sure you get it all out.”

“I won’t be able to there, there’s too much of a chance of being overheard, I’m gonna see if we can set up dinner or something.”

“Do you think he’ll go for that?”

“I dunno, but we have to do something, it’s just getting worse. He’s blown off phone calls now, that’s all we had and he’s cancelled three, like I’m some client or something.”

“I’m sorry,” Chanile said quietly.

“Not as sorry as I am. I hope I can take my lunch then, we usually go around that time anyway, but it’ll be just my luck something comes up,” Kayla frowned.

“Don’t go thinking negative, it’s going to work out and you’ll go and tell him what you need to and if he loves you like he says, he’ll sit down and talk with you properly,” Chanile finished firmly.

Kayla nodded, “Right,” she hoped Chanile was.

Monday Afternoon

“We’ll break for lunch, Kyu Jong did you want to join us? We’re going to a steakhouse, Mike says he’s treating!” Shane grinned.

“I did not!” Mike yelled, glaring playfully at Shane.

Kyu Jong nodded smiling. Things had been going well so far, he was learning a lot about American culture and life. He’d listened to a lot of different music, what was currently popular and past popular music. He learned there that everything was cyclical, one thing would fade out, replaced with something else and come back again a few years later. The trick was staying relevant and changing with those cycles. Kyu Jong didn’t expect much his first try, but he hoped he’d gain even a small fan base so if he didn’t make it, hopefully those fans would follow him when he went back home. It was all very intimidating, they had something called One-Hit Wonders, artists who had one really popular song and then just faded away, that really scared him, would that be his fate?

Feeling a bit disillusioned, he followed Shane and Mike out the building and into Shane’s SUV. He stared out the window, he could only hope for the best, he’d try his hardest, it was all he could do.

“Hey Kyu Jong, you ok? You’re awfully quiet back there, not that you aren’t normally, but even quieter than normal for you,” Shane said, glancing at him quickly in the rearview mirror.

He nodded, “Ne, I’m fine hyung, thank you.”

Shane stared at him a moment before nodded, his eyes back on the road. Kyu Jong continued to look out the window. He wondered how Kayla was doing, she’d been pretty frazzled last night during dinner, he didn’t know how much longer she’d be able to deal with whatever it was. He could sense she was on the edge, it would only take one thing to put her over the edge, he could just feel it.

~~~

Kayla made her way into the building and over to the receptionist. After checking in, she went to sit and wait. She had no idea how this was going to go, she hoped he’d be willing but with Terrance, she didn’t know anymore. A few minutes later she was called in; Kayla was led to the door and then left alone. Taking a fortifying breath, she knocked and heard him tell her to come in. She pressed down on the handle and made her way in.

Terrance looked up and frowned, “Kayla, what are you doing here? Now’s not a good time, I have an appointment at one with someone.”

“I know…”

“Well then can it wait? The person should be here any minute.”

“I know…” She said again.

Terrance frowned again in confusion, “How do you know?”

She stared at him for a moment before making her way over to the chair in front of him, sitting, “Because…I’m your one o’clock, your appointment is with me.”

His eyes widened, “What?”

“I scheduled this appointment so I could see you, we need to talk.”

Terrance looked annoyed “You know Kayla; I don’t find this funny, not one damn bit. You don’t just come to my place of business and expect to…”

“We need to talk Terrance,” she said firmly, cutting him off.

Terrance stared at her.

“This was the only way I could talk to you, I can’t even get you on the damn phone, we can’t text, it’s never the right time. So I set up this appointment so I could see you, believe me, I don’t find this funny either. We.Need.To.Talk,” she stated, staring hard at him.

He blinked then sighed, “Ok, I’m sorry, I hear you. We will talk,” he said.

“Ok, tonight,” she pressed.

“Tonight? But Kayla…”

“Tonight, when can you pencil me in?” She said.

He looked down at his planner, “Well…”

Kayla rolled her eyes, “It’s just dinner and a conversation Terrance.”

“How about eight? I have an hour free. I can pick you up around 7:45; I’ll have Maria set up a reservation.”

She stood, “Fine, see you then.” She started towards the door.

“You’re leaving? You don’t have to, you’re scheduled for an hour, we can talk now instead of tonight,” Terrance said hopefully.

Kayla took a calming breath, fighting back tears of hurt before turning to look back at him.

“Tonight, 7:45 Terrance. Have a great rest of your day,” she said and made her way out.

She leaned against the door, fighting even harder against the tears that wanted to fall, she wouldn’t let them. He’d been annoyed she’d come, thought she was just messing around, then to add insult to injury, he’d even tried to get out of it at the end, what was wrong with him? Since when had he become such a jerk?

Kayla looked over just as Maria came down the hall; she frowned when she saw her.

“Are you ok Kayla?”

She gave her a sad smile, “No Maria, no I’m not. I’ll see you later,” she said as she made her way past her.

That Evening

Kyu Jong made his way into his townhouse, flipping the lights on. He pulled his boots off and slipped into his slippers, heading into the kitchen. He took out the fixings to make ddobokki, today had gone well, tomorrow he’d start looking into possible themes for his album, the concept he wanted to go for. It’d already been decided he’d go under the name J-Dream for a little while at least. He’d picked that as his English name a long time ago with Young Saeng and Hyung Jun when they’d done their special project album for the group. He’d used it a few times after for various things, but had no real need for it until now. He’d worry about using his real name if the time ever came.

He started putting ingredients into the pot so they could cook. Things were definitely different here; he did have a lot more say in what he wanted to do so far, he hoped it would continue to tomorrow when the actual planning started. A few minutes later, he sat to the table to eat. He could actually sleep in, he had days off during the week as well as late days too, it was a huge change from what he was used to. He had a late day tomorrow, did have to be in until one, which meant he could make a few calls or even go out tonight for a bit. He’d been trying to go out when he could so he could slowly become familiar with the area. He’d gotten lost a few times, but he’d asked for help and had always managed to fid his way back home, he wasn’t as scared as he had been before. Yes, that’s what he’d do tonight, go out and walk around.

He finished his dinner then headed into his room to get ready.

~~~

Kayla slid into the seat and closed the door, staring blankly ahead, her heart pounding.

“We have reservations at Lydia’s,” Terrance said quietly.

She said nothing, just stared out the window.

“Look, I’m sorry about earlier, I didn’t know you were coming, Maria didn’t write who it was, usually when that happens it’s someone really important, oh wait, that’s not what I meant,” Terrance went on to quickly say.

Kayla sighed, “Forget it, I know what you meant,” she sighed again.

“Damnit Kayla, I’m sorry, you know what I mean.”

“Stop, it’s fine,” she said quietly.

The rest of the trip to the restaurant was spent in silence; a short time later they arrived and headed in. They were led to their seats; Kayla picked up the menu and looked it over, ordering a glass of water to start. She was on edge, was just waiting for something to happen. The incident in the car was very telling for her, she’d played it off, but it still hurt, she knew it was exactly what he felt. That said, she did know he hadn’t meant any harm, but it’d been the truth in his world, she simply wasn’t as important as the people in his job.

After deciding what she wanted, she set the menu down to see Terrance watching her warily.

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

As if he didn’t know.

“Us Terrance, what else?” She frowned.

“What do you want me to say? I know things have been tough, but it’ll get better soon, just be patient with me,” Terrance said, sipping at his water.

“Be patient? I’ve been nothing but patient wit this whole thing,” Kayla frowned.

The waiter came up and took both of their orders before leaving as quickly as he’d come.

“I know sweetie, just hang in there a little longer, I miss us too, it’s just things are moving fast and I really need to focus on work right now. You know I’ll come see you when I can, I haven’t forgotten about you.”

“Are you sure?” Kayla asked softly.

Terrance frowned, “That’s not fair Kayla, I’m trying ok?”

She stared at him. “Really Terrance?”

He stared at her, “Yes Kayla, I’m…”

He was cut off when his phone rang and a look of relief spread over his face and she gave him a look.

“Sorry honey, I have to take this, it’s my mom, it could be important, I’ll be just a minute,” Terrance said, tapping on his phone.

Kayla could feel her anger rising as Terrance turned away talking into the phone. Just then their waiter came back, setting their food down.

“Can’t you get someone else? I’m with my eight o’clock…I am, she’s my eight o’clock…yes…no…no it’s not…no it just came…well…yes but…” Terrance said and stood suddenly, walking away from the table.

Kayla smiled her thanks at the waiter and started eating; she could barely taste the food. A few seconds later Terrance came back, but he didn’t sit.

“Look Kayla, I have to go, have to go to the office. I tried to get someone else, there really isn’t anyone. I’ll take you home and then I’ve got to get going, I won’t be able to finish dinner,” he explained.

She looked up at him, “I still have thirty minutes left for my appointment,” she said calmly.

“Yeah but, I can see you anytime and finish this, I really have to go,” he said distractedly, flagging their waiter down and asked for a to-go box.

“I will stay here and finish then, you go ahead,” Kayla said, continuing to eat.

Terrance looked over at her, startled, “Kayla c’mon, alone?”

She looked up at him, watching him steadily, “Yes Terrance, alone, I’m used to it by now. Just go, I’ll talk to you later,” she said, staring hard at him, mentally pleading with him to not go, to not do this to them, to her.

He looked at her, pain flashing in his eyes, “How will you get home?”

‘No Terrance, please…’

“Taxi,” she said coolly.

“I’m sorry Kayla, I…”

‘Please Terrance…’

“Go Terrance,” she replied, looking back down at her plate as she resumed eating.

‘Terrance…’

He hesitated a moment before turning and leaving, she continued to eat quietly. She stilled when the waiter came back and gathered up Terrance’s untouched meal. She looked up and her eyes met the waiter’s who was starting at her in sympathy before he left. Kayla continued to eat, but she could barely see through the tears clouding her vision.

A short time later she left the restaurant after settling the bill which she found Terrance had been so generous to take care of in his hurry to leave. Blindly she walked down the crowded sidewalk, she felt cold inside and it had nothing to do with the weather. She couldn’t believe he’d actually left, thought he’d had more respect for her than that, but he hadn’t. He’d left, actually left her there, proving once again his job, his mom was more important than her, even though she’d had an appointment. Had it been anyone else, it wouldn’t have happened. Tears threatened again and she was fast losing the battle against them this time.

Slowly she made her way to a bench and sat, staring out. She couldn’t think, it hurt too much, everything hurt. She fisted her hands up, her body shook with unshed emotion. She promised herself she wouldn’t cry, she wouldn’t.

“Kayla?” Came the soft voice but familiar voice.

Turning her head, she saw Kyu Jong standing there, worry in his eyes.

“Kayla, what are you doing here?” He asked.

She couldn’t bring herself to say anything, she was afraid if she spoke, she’d start crying. She looked back out and felt him sit next to her, the warmth from him surrounding her as he slid closer to her; somehow it pushed her over the edge and tears spilled over and down her cheeks. Kayla felt his arm come up and around her, pulling her towards him a bit and then his hand slid up, pushing her head down to his shoulder gently, patting her head carefully. Something about the simple gesture made her crack as she cried openly, the tears flowing freely. She turned her head, burying her face in his neck as she continued to cry.

~~~

Kyu Jong closed his eyes at her gentle sobs, his heart breaking. Reaching out, he grabbed her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. He’d been out, walking around and he’d been surprised when suddenly he’d seen her, he could tell something wasn’t right by the way she’d been walking. When she sat he could see very clearly that something had in fact been wrong, now he sat here, holding her trembling body, he could see something was very wrong. In the short time he’d known her, he’d never seen her cry, he’d seen her force herself to stop, she’d always been able to control it, but whatever happened this time had been too much.

He hadn’t known her long, but he already knew he didn’t like it when she cried, especially when whatever it was seemed to be draining the life from her. Sighing, he looked around, noticing people staring as they walked by; this most certainly wasn’t the place for this.

“Come Kayla, let’s get home ok? Away from all these people,” he said gently.

He felt her nod and they stood carefully. Kyu Jong managed to flag down a cab and they got in. It was a quiet ride to their townhouses, once there; Kyu Jong led her up to his and inside. He shut the door and watched as she took her boots off and slipped into the waiting pair of slippers and he did the same before leading her over to his couch and motioning for her to sit.

“Relax, I’ll be right back,” he smiled softly before turning to head into the kitchen.

Setting the tea kettle on the stove after filling it with water, he turned the eye on and got down a couple cups and then two tea bags, setting them in the cups. He then got a small plate and some of his favorite cookies from his home and poured some onto the plate and then set everything on a serving tray he had. Once the water boiled, he poured some in each cup and then put the sugar bowl on the tray as well as some spoons before making his way back in, setting he tray down on the coffee table. Reaching out, he grabbed one of the cups and handed it to her.

“Here, it is Red Ginseng tea, it is good for stress,” he said softly.

Carefully she took the cup and Kyu Jong scooped a small spoonful of sugar in, stirring it. She took a cautious sip and then sighed.

“Thank you, it’s delicious,” she said quietly.

He nodded and picked up the plate, holding it out to her, “These are maejakgwa, ginger cookies, please try one,” he offered.

Reaching out, she took one, taking a bit, crunching loudly; she smiled a bit, “They’re very good.”

Kyu Jong took his tea, taking a sip; they remained quiet except for the sound of them crunching on the cookies now and then. Kayla set her now empty cup down, sighing heavily. Kyu Jong stood, getting the tea kettle and a few more tea bags and bringing them over. He opened one of the bags set it in the cup, poured more of the hot water in and set the kettle down. Kayla reached out and took a sip, wincing.

“Ahh sorry, it is quite bitter if you’re not used to it naturally,” he said, giving her a sympathetic smile as he scooped another spoonful of sugar into her cup and once again stirred. She took another sip and nodded.

Kyu Jong took another sip of his tea, waiting.

“I’m sorry,” she said suddenly.

He turned his head to look at her, her eyes downcast to her cup, staring hard into the tea as if it held answers to questions she had. “Why?”

“You’re putting up with me, I must seem pretty pathetic,” she muttered.

Kyu Jong shook his head, “Ani, not at all.”

“I can’t believe this, I can’t believe I’m acting like this, I’m stronger than this, I really am.”

“I don’t doubt that for a moment.”

She looked at him finally, her eyes filled with tears, “Then why? Why am I like this?”

He stared at her, “Because we can only be strong for so long, sometimes we need to break down and someone else be strong for us,” he explained.

She shook her head, “No, I can’t do that; I need to work through this.”

“That is fine, but must you do so alone?” He questioned.

She looked back over at him and he smiled.

“You don’t have to, why don’t you let someone be there for you?”

“There are people there for me, Chanile, Lillian and Liz…”

“Are they really? Do you let them or do you shut them out?”

“I…I don’t shut them out.”

Kyu Jong said nothing, just watched her steadily.

“Well I try not to, but they all don’t like him already, everything they say is against him so I don’t bother, not that I can blame them really.”

He continued to stare at her, “Who don’t they like?” He asked carefully.

“Terrance, he’s my…he‘s…my boyfriend,” she whispered.

Kyu Jong narrowed his eyes, why did she hesitate? It was as if her heart wasn’t sure, as if it wavered.

“I don’t think I ever told you, but I have a boyfriend, Terrance Hartland, his family owns a chain of hotels that just recently started to really take off and…” She stopped, sniffling.

He said nothing, just waited, continuing to sip at his tea.

“…And he’s…well he hasn’t been the best boyfriend of late. It’s only started since he stated working for his father’s company, that’s when everything changed. Everyone tells me I’m crazy to stay with him, but I do love him, I want to support him but…”

“But what?” Kyu Jong said gently.

She looked up at him, “I’m not so sure anymore.”

________________________________________________________________________

a/n: Welcome back, it's my one year anniversary of joining this site and I'm happy I was able to have an update for you all! Another new chapter and now more issues arise. Poor Kayla right? She's trying and he's making it harder and harder. He's really becoming so blantenly disrepectful of her it's not funny. He insulted her several times in round a bout ways, it's hard to not empathize with her. Kyu Jong, once again in the right place at the right time, their talk continues in the next chapter. Hello to my new subscribers, thanks for reading and I hope to hear from you! Comments and feedback are always welcome, see you all soon!  

~ MO