Kayla let herself inside the townhouse, setting her keys down on the ledge before walking out to the center of the room, sighing heavily. She didn’t know what to do, her night had ended a lot earlier than she planned. Numb, she just felt numb. Starting towards her room to get changed out of the dress she’d spent a lot of money on and hadn’t had the chance to enjoy properly, when suddenly the door opened, and she turned to see Terrance standing in the doorway.

“What are you doing here?”

“Kayla, wait…please,” he said, panting.

She shook her head, “Go home Terrance, I can’t do this right now.”

“No, we have to talk about this, I need to explain.”

“Then explain Terrance! Explain ok! Explain why I saw you kissing another woman, tell me why I should forget it and everything else you’ve done for the last five months and forgive you. Tell me why I should take your Mom’s constant verbal and emotional abuse and her belittling me and now her set up to destroy our already ty relationship so that I can turn a blind eye again, tell me Terrance? Would you? Would you forget if you found me kissing another man?  I don’t think so; you couldn’t even stand me hanging out with a male friend and yet I’m supposed to accept what I saw?” She said with agony in her voice.

Terrance shook his head, “I…I just…my Mom she, she invited her and I didn’t ask her to, I didn’t know her in person, she asked me to…Mom said we should go out in the all to talk and then she kissed me and I…I didn’t…”

“You didn’t stop her,” Kayla said softly.

“Kayla…”

“What are we doing Terrance? You and I both know things have changed, ever since your family business took off, we went in different directions. I thought I could continue to support you, I tried, but you…your Mom has made that nearly impossible. I’ve sacrificed my happiness, my self-worth to stay with you and I’m done Terrance, I’m just done,” she whispered.

He shook his head, coming up to her, “C’mon Kayla, we can make this work, I’ll do better, I prom…”

“No, no more promises you can’t keep Terrance. How many promises is that now? You haven’t kept one of them, you haven’t gotten better, only worse,” she said softly.

His face fell, “No Kayla…no.”

“I don’t want to do this to myself anymore, I can’t be with you any longer.”

“K-Kayla…” Terrance said softly, his voice breaking, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“We can still be friends, always friends, but nothing more.”

He shook his head again, “B-but…I love you.”

Kayla gave him a sad smile, “I love you too, but I have to love myself more for once, I have to love myself first.”

Terrance looked down, sniffling and Kayla leaned in, kissing his cheek gently, “You have to let me go.”

He looked up at her, tears spilling down his cheeks again.

“Goodbye Terrance.”

~~~ 

Kyu Jong thanked the driver before hurrying over to the door, only to see Terrance making his way out, he stopped, watching him closely.

Terrance lifted his head, his gaze sad, “Oh, you’re here.”

“Why did you do it?” Kyu Jong asked suddenly.

“I don’t owe you any explanations,” Terrance said coldly.

Kyu Jong shook his head, “No, you don’t, but you do owe it to her. Where were you? She needed you, all this time, she thought of you first, why didn’t…”

“I know ok!? I know!” Terrance yelled suddenly.

Kyu Jong looked at him, “This didn’t have to be like this. I have never been a threat. This you did on your own.”

“Oh, and you just love it don’t you? You gonna sweep in and save the day now?” Terrance said angrily.

He sighed, “Ani, I don’t want to do that, I never wanted anything other than for Kayla to be happy, she tried to be for you.”

Terrance’s face fell, “I didn’t…I didn’t want it to be this way. I was just trying to build a life for us. I wanted us to get married, have a family, I…” he stopped, rubbing at his eyes.

Kyu Jong swallowed hard, feeling his frustration and sadness profoundly.

“I messed up; I really did.”

“Maybe if you try…”

“No,” Terrance said suddenly, looking over at him. “No, I think this time…I’m too late. Hey, take care of her for me ok? Make sure she’s alright, she’s acting like she’s fine, but despite how it seems, I do know her, pretty well actually. She hides a lot, just…be there for her again…Ok?” He said quietly.

Kyu Jong stared at him a moment before nodding and Terrence gave him a quick nod before hurrying by him and getting into his car and taking off. Kyu Jong looked at the door, taking a deep breath before knocking.

“Terrance please…”

Biting his lip, he turned the knob and walked in.

~~~ 

Kayla closed her eyes, bringing her legs up and burying her face in folds of her dress. She couldn’t take anymore from Terrance, she needed to not see him for a while. She heard the knob rattle and the door slowly open and dropped her legs down, preparing to stand up for another altercation.

Sighing she lifted her head, “Ter…Oh! K!”

Kyu Jong poked his head in, seeing her on the couch, his face softened, “Kayla ssi.”

She let out a sigh of relief, slumping back down on the couch, “Oh K, I’m so glad it’s you. Come in please,” she said softly.

Kyu Jong made his way in, shutting the door after him and slowly made his way over to her, sitting down carefully beside her. Kayla drew her legs back up, resting her head back on her knees again.

“Crazy night huh? Not to whine or anything, but I can’t ever seem to catch a break you know?”

“Ne.”

Slowly she lifted her head, letting out a sigh, “I suppose I should be really upset, but I’m not. I’m not really surprised. I knew something big would happen eventually, I knew it. I knew she wouldn’t let it continue on much longer, but I had hoped I wouldn’t be so humiliated in front of my friends and family, that’s what was so bad. They all tried to tell me, for so long and I just wouldn’t listen. I wanted to make it work, I loved him, so I wanted…no needed to try and look where it got me. Standing there watching like a fool as he made out with another woman…” she shook her head, letting out a chuckle of disappointment. “Once again, jokes’ on me,” Kayla brought her hand up to rub at her face. “I broke up with him.”

She saw his head turn abruptly towards her, his eyes wide.

“Shocked huh?”

“Are you sure that is what you want?”

She looked over at him, he was watching her steadily and she nodded, “Yes, I think I’ve been wanting to for a while, was just waiting for the moment when my heart couldn’t take anymore, kinda like what you told me in the beginning. Tonight, was that moment I guess.”

Kyu Jong, “Ok then Kayla.”

“Not gonna tell me I jumped the gun and that I’m too emotional right now and to sleep and think about it again in the morning?”

“Would it make a difference? Do you think you would change your mind overnight?”

“No.”

“Ok then, it is not necessary for me to say that. Do not doubt yourself Kayla, you know what you want to do. I do not think you need convincing that what you did was right,” Kyu Jong said softly.

She nodded, “Yeah, you’re right. Well, at least I got to wear a pretty dress…not for as long as I wanted, but still,” she said chuckling, running her hand over the fabric of the dress.

“The dress is very pretty.”

“We got to dance too, which was nice. I had been hoping for another, but Terrance screwed that up too,” she sighed, shaking her head in disappointment.

Kyu Jong looked over at her, “Come,” he said suddenly, standing up and pulling what must’ve been his main phone from home, out of the inside of his suit coat.

She looked up at him, “Hmm…what?”

Kyu Jong held out his hands, “Come on,” he said again.

Raising her eyebrow, she reached out, slipping her hands in his and he gently pulled her up and then led her to the middle of the room. He pressed something on the screen of his phone and suddenly music started.

Ooh yeah, oh

Just after I answered her call,

I had a lot of thoughts

Yesterday, she was dumped by

her boyfriend whom she loved

He once again slid his arm around her waist and then took her hand in his other and started to dance.

“Ahh, you’re giving me another dance huh?”

Kyu Jong smiled and nodded and she smiled shakily.

“Th-thanks,” she whispered.

They moved slowly, she listened to the song that was in another language, Korean she assumed and for some reason, she was touched. Even though she didn’t know what they were saying, it didn’t seem to matter. All this time she’d handled things with Terrance, trying to be proactive and at the end there, she’d numbed herself, so much she’d gotten to the point where she didn’t even care.

All that said, she didn’t think this would happen, that he would do this to her, not after everything she’d put up with from him and his family, Kayla sniffled, appalled to realize tears streaming down her cheeks.

Right now, I’m on my way to

comfort that girl on the verge of tears

But I can’t help my heart

for secretly growing happy

I’ve waited for this day

When I let her borrow my shoulder

And wipe away her tears

“Kayla ssi? Are you ok?”

She pushed her face into the crook of his neck, “No…” she shook her head. “I did everything I was supposed to as a girlfriend you know? I supported him, loved him, even defended him when he was clearly wrong, over and over. I made myself look like a damn fool and for what? So he could go around kissing another woman? You aren’t in relationship for that long just to be screwed over in the end. I just don’t get it, what did I do wrong? I let his Mom talk down to me, let him basically ignore me and this his how he thanks me? Four years down the damn drain because his parents suddenly have money, that’s love? He said he loved me Kyu Jong, what the hell?” She sniffled, squeezing her eyes tightly shut.

Kyu Jong slowly pulled away, looking at her sadly. She reached up to wipe at the tears, when he beat her to it.

“You did nothing wrong Kayla, I promise.”

“Then what? Why would he do that to me?”

He shook his head, “I do not know, you didn’t deserve it, that I do know.”

Beside her, forever by her side

After I make a place for myself

I’ll change into a man, not a friend

I’ll hold you as I say that I’ll protect you

So that there will be no sadness

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

As I say

Ha, ha, ha, ha, (Yeah) ha, ha, ha

“I just don’t know what to do anymore. In the sight of a few weeks, I’ve lost my Dad and my boyfriend. I just…I can’t do it anymore Kyu Jong, it’s so hard to be strong, it’s really hard,” she whispered, resting her forehead on his shoulder, the tears falling faster and harder.

She felt him let go of her hand, sliding his other arm around her waist, pulling her close to him and again for the umpteenth time in weeks, she felt that heat and comfort that only he seemed able to give, seep into her worn and tired body.

Kayla tried to hold back, but it was too much as she muffled her cries into his shoulder. She pulled away a bit, as she felt something soft on her face. She looked up to see Kyu Jong wiping at her eyes with a handkerchief.

She’s crying over there with her

head buried in her knees

I take out a handkerchief from my

pocket and hand it to her

Forget him, you’ll forget about him, believe me

(Believe me)

Like that, I comforted her and told her

“Now meet someone who’ll only look at you”

 “Kayla…jagi”

She bit her lip, tears continuing to stream down.

“You’re going to get through this too…yes you will,” he whispered at her shaking of her head ‘no’. “You will because you’re strong. You have people around you who love you and will help you. That includes me.”

She looked up at him.

“You will find someone else, someone who will love you, who will treat you the way you should be treated, who will see only you, all the time.”

It didn’t seem likely, did anyone like that even exist?

“I will be here for you in the meantime, I promise. Anything that you need, that I can do for you, I will…anything.”

That made the tears fall even faster as she looked down, “Why? You don’t have to do that Kyu Jong. You’re not responsible for me, you’re not my boyfriend…why?” she asked, looking up at him.

Kyu Jong stared at her a moment before leaning in, kissing her forehead gently, “Because, you are special, important to me. I…care about you, very much. Above all jagi…”

She continued to watch him steadily, a feeling she hadn’t felt in years, welling up inside her chest.

“I want you to be happy and I will do whatever I can to make that happen,” he said softly.

But it makes her even prettier

By all means, today I’ll be

Beside her, (Woah) forever by her side

After I make a place for myself

I’ll change into a man, not a friend

I’ll hold you as I say that I’ll protect you

So that there will be no sadness

(As I say)

She shook her head, looking down.

“I don’t…I don’t deserve all that K, really. I’ve made mistakes, I wasn’t always the best girlfriend, not always the best friend. I don’t think I’m really worthy of such kindness from you. You’re always helping me, doing for me, but I haven’t done much for you. I’m really sor…”

“Shhh jagi, shh, you are human, no one is perfect. We all make mistakes, you’re a good person and even better friend. Believe me when I say you deserve everything.”

Kayla leaned in, burying her face once again in his neck, wrapping her arms around him, hugging him tightly. She wanted to believe his words, he made her believe.

It’s the moment I’ve waited so long for

Although she leans in my embrace and cries

At this moment, for her sake

I’ve become a nice resting place (Like a blanket)

I’ll become a reliable man

That you can look at and trust

You are the one for me

Kyu Jong tightened his hold on her, his mind was racing. Terrance had told him to take care of her and he’d fully intended to, but he hadn’t expected this. She’d broken up with him, she was…single. The thought of that made his heart race more. He didn’t want to think of that, but he couldn’t help it.

Sighing, he shook his head, he had to stop the inappropriate thoughts that were now swirling around in his head. It would serve no purpose to him and now wasn’t the time.

Beside her, forever by her side,

(Yeah) After I make a place for myself,

(I need you, I need you now)

I’ll change into a man, not a friend

I’ll hold you as I say that I’ll protect you (No sadness)

(I’ll protect you) So that there will be no sadness

Still, Kyu Jong meant what he’d said, he would do whatever it took to make her happy and make sure she was taken care of. He knew she would need even more support, and she would try to be strong, but there was still only so much one could take.

He would do whatever it took to keep her safe and make her smile, her smiling made him smile. She’d been good to him, very good to him since they’d met and he wanted to make it up to her, not because he had to, but because he wanted to.

Inside her heart, I want to build a home

A very strong refuge nobody can destroy

(I can’t live without you)

Even when pain,

(When pain blows)

Blows and tears leak

It won’t collapse because of love

Kyu Jong looked down at the broken woman in his arms and once again felt that wave of protectiveness rush over him and wondered, if this is what his Father had felt when he’d been with his Mom. Granted they had been in love and while Kyu Jong didn’t love Kayla, he did care deeply for her and he could understand that feeling of wanting to protect someone you care about.

She was different from all the others, it seemed to grow stronger. Maybe from the moment they met, he’d known she would be different, that she would have a special place in his heart…maybe not.

What he did know was that she was someone important to him now and she would always be. Now wasn’t the time for that, so he would push it back, hold it in and keep it his own for his time with her was limited.

Oh, I’ll never let go of her again

(I need you girl)

After we part, she looks for me

She’s the girl I’ve been waiting for

Hold you in my arms, leave yourself to me

Just believe in me (No ooh)

The scars of love that person left in your heart

Drives me crazy, erase those unforgettable memories

(Woah) Love is forgotten through love

Now look at me, standing by your side

~~~

The Next Day

Kayla sat to the table, eating her breakfast, thinking of all the stuff that needed to be done still. Some of her Dad’s things still needed to be sorted through. She now had the fun task of cleaning everything in her room that was Terrance’s and sending it back to him, four years was a long time to accumulate. She really didn’t want to, didn’t want to look at the crap, but it had to be done.

Last night, her sensibility had been due to complete and utter shock. The shock had since worn off and now she was pissed, good and truly pissed. Kayla picked up her phone, shooting off a quick message, got a response and then called a number.

“Hey honey, how are you today?” Chanile said.

“I’m ok, Shane told me what happened after I left, thanks for your support. You didn’t have to hit him, though I can understand the desire to,” she laughed.

“He deserved it, what an .”

“Yeah, it was pretty bad.”

“Did he even have an excuse?”

“Barely, but it doesn’t matter, I broke up with him anyway.”

There was silence on the other end and Kayla frowned.

“Are you still there?”

“You broke up with him? Seriously?”

“Yeah, I had to, it was just time,” she sighed.

“Are you ok?”

“I dunno yet, I haven’t been single in years, we’ll see,” Kayla chuckled.

“Well, enjoy the freedom and take time for you now.”

“Uh huh, ok Mrs. Recently taken,” Kayla laughed.

“Huh?” Chanile pretended to not know what she meant.

“Are you two dating officially now?” She questioned.

Chanile laughed, “We only went to the ball together girl, nothing more.”

“Aww really?”

“Anyway, so…”

“By the way, it’s my turn to host this month and I’m really looking forward to it. I was thinking of BBQ, I’ll put it in the chat for K to see too. I keep trying to take it easy with him, I’m so afraid he’s gonna get so sick of me, he’s been so awesome throughout all of this that…I just don’t want him to get sick of me or feel like I’m taking advantage of his friendship,” she sighed.

“Did he say that?” Chanile asked.

“No…”

“Has he done anything to make you think that was how he was feeling?”

“Well…no…”

“Ok then, I haven’t known him as long as you, but I’m pretty sure that he would tell you if he felt that way, but you haven’t done anything in my opinion that would qualify as you using him. You’ve been a great friend to him, it’s been mutual.”

Kayla sighed, “I dunno, I feel like I could do more for him still. He’s been so great; I really like him and I don’t want him to think I take him for granted or that I expect him to do these things for me. I need him in my life,” she blurted out.

“Wow Kayla,” Chanile said softly.

“Whoa, was that too much? What is wrong with me? I swear he thinks I’m crazy. I can’t keep talking to him so much, he’s…”

“No, that’s not what I meant, it’s just, you care so much about him and he’s just a friend.”

“Well of course I do, I care about all my friends, that includes you and Liz and Lillan and Le…”

“That’s not what I mean, us ladies are the same. Kyu Jong is different right?”

“No, he’s a friend, I’d say the same about you.”

“You would not, you wouldn’t worry about taking advantage of me or anyone else cause you know that we wouldn’t think like that, our relationships are established and we’re all comfortable and familiar, Kyu Jong is different, he is, he’s a guy, a guy you’ve only known a few months, a guy you’ve become very close to in those few short months who’s seen you at your best and worst and you’ve grown quite attached to. This is Kyu Jong we’re talking about, he’s special and special to you, it’s ok to admit that sweetie,” Chanile said gently.

Kayla shook her head, it wasn’t true, she treated him the same as everyone else, the way she treated all her friends, she did.

~~~ 

Kyu Jong made his way out the room, shaking hands with various people as they left. His album would be out at the end of the week, he was both nervous and excited at the same time. Everything had been going well, once the album came out, it was then a waiting game to see what the reception was like. He had a few more TV interviews and radio interviews lined up, even an album listen on one of the shows, to help with more exposure. This would be the true test, if that went well, he may be able to do some small fan interactions, provided there were fans to interact with, he hoped so, he really missed that being away from home.

Kyu Jong looked over and saw Shane talking to some people. He wanted to talk to him about an idea he’d had brewing for a while, but only just recently decided to seriously consider. He didn’t know if it could really happen, but he was adamant to try.

Letting out a sigh, he thought of Kayla, a small but sad smile on his lips. She’d been through so much; he didn’t know how she was still functioning at this point. He knew she was strong, but she was so much stronger than he thought, it amazed and didn’t amaze him at the same time.

Kyu Jong couldn’t help the nagging guilt he felt every time he thought of her breakup with Terrance. It was the right thing for her to do, no doubt about that and he and everyone else knew it, but he shouldn’t be so…happy about it. Inside, his heart raced every time he thought of the fact that she was now single, he was awful.

She’d cried on his shoulder a few days ago and here he was, secretly happy that she’d finally gotten rid of someone so toxic in her life. Not that he thought it would resolve the whole situation that easily, but she’d taken the steps and that made him happier than it should.

One for Me - By SHINee

Lyrics from: Lyricstranslate.com

Video from YT Account: Platypizz2

_______________

A/N: Awww nice chapter! I enjoyed this thoroughly. A small side story, the song that I chose I had picked out a loooonng time ago, way before the passing of Jonghyun, it is to this day, one of my all-time favorite songs by SHINee. As a Shawol, it has been hard to listen to songs from them since, listening to this was no exception. It'd been a long time and while listening, I had to stop several times while typing this up as I became so overwhelmed hearing them all sing, tears, and all. This song is so perfect, I remember driving to work, thinking of how I was going to incorporate it, what the scene would be like, I was always so excited for this scene and to be able to use this song. SHINee always seems to have the perfect song for such moments, I used them in my Young Saeng story a couple of times and I was never sorry. While it's hard to listen to, I hope you can appreciate the beauty of the lyrics and the emotion with which they're sung. 

Hmmm, they both have nothing holding them back now, while it's too soon for Kayla to get into another relationship, they both realize that things have gotten insanely easier now, well maybe more Kyu Jong than Kayla, but I feel like that will come eventually. 

Until next time~

MO~