"I can’t eat, drink or sleep
Thanks for the presents you gave me but
I won’t accept anymore because I’m about to explode
Honestly, I feel like crap right now."

— BTOB "Beep Beep"

"-I’m just wishing," I said aloud, my pen scribbling furiously across my notepad. I nodded to myself, having finally finished one of the verses to a song I was composing. Sighing from exhaustion, I leaned back in my chair to admire my work. "Maybe I should change the third line..."

"Yoongi hyung, how's the song going?" I looked up as a voice called out my name. Namjoon walked towards me, holding a bag of refreshments and snacks in his hand. I clucked my tongue and shook my head, rolling my head in exhaustion. He chuckled, taking a seat on the chair next to mine.

"To be honest, not that good. I finally finished writing the second verse of the song, but now I have to think of the lyrics for the fourth verse," I groaned, already feeling a headache coming on. Namjoon groaned in agony as well, but tried to comfort me by patting my back while handing me an energy drink.

Sometimes, I hated my boss. He was kind, yes, but very demanding. When he called me four days ago, requesting for a song to be written and composed within a week, I panicked. Does this guy think I spit lyrics and compose melodies in my sleep? I couldn't deny his orders though, and soon found myself drinking five cups of coffee at 3 am in my studio, furiously typing away at my computer. Namjoon and Hoseok, who worked for the same company as me,  tried to help me by writing a verse or two, but the song was far from being complete. To be honest, I was behind schedule and needed to pick up the pace if I even wanted to dream of finishing this song on time.

"Yoongi, your phone is ringing," Namjoon said, snapping me out of my short thought. I picked up my phone, smiling as I looked at the caller ID. I slid my finger across the screen and put up the device next to my ear. "Hey babe."

"Hi Yoongi!" I chuckled as her sweet voice filled my ears. "Just wondering if you were free tonight. I made reservations for that awesome restaurant next to the river that you always wanted to go to. My friend happens to work there, so it wasn't that hard to make a reservation, thank goodness. Oh and I was thinking afterwards, we could-"

I bit my lip, already knowing how this was going to end, "Um, babe..."

"-get ice cream afterwards. Have you ever heard of Softree? Apparently they serve honey comb and- huh?" I sighed, dreading what I was about to say.

"I'm sorry, I can't go out tonight. The deadline is coming up and I'm really behind on my work," I said gently, my stomach already twisting in knots at the words coming out of my mouth. The line suddenly went quiet as I apologized again. I pressed my phone closer to my ear, waiting for her to say something, anything really. The sudden silence was so unlike her, and it made my heart clench in agony. 

"I'm so so sorry, babe. I wish I could go with you, really I do, but I-"

"No, no, it's okay, I understand," I heard her voice crack over the phone and my heart clenched once more. I hated doing this. I hated hearing her quiet voice breaking down over the phone when I turned her down, every single time, due to work and deadlines. "Your work is very important to you, I know." I heard her take a shaky breath across the line, trying to calm down. She was in the verge of tears, and I wasn't there to comfort her, because I was the cause of those tears. 

I stayed silent as she continued, "Um, don't worry about it. I-I just remebered that I made plans with Jihyun tonight." Another shaky breath, and my heart dropped to my stomach. "So yeah, it's okay. Sorry for interrupting you." No, don't be sorry. It's my fault. It's always my fault. 

"I'll see you next week though, right?" I heard myself saying instead, loosening the grip on my phone. 

"Hm? Oh yeah, next week. Yeah, I'll see you next week," Her voice was soft as she spoke slowly, deep in thought. I sighed, closing my eyes, wishing I could take my words back but knowing I couldn't. "...Bye Yoongi."

"Bye," I murmured, dropping my phone on my lap as she hung up. I sighed in defeat, but sat up and once again scanned my work. I tapped at my keyboard, finally starting the fourth verse of my song. Namjoon, who I failed to realize was right next to me, worked quietly beside me, already familiar with this scene. After a few minutes of only the sound of us typing away, he spoke up, "You okay?"

I stayed silent, eyes never leaving my screen.

After what seemed like hours, and two cups of coffee and a bag of chips, there was the sound of someone opening the studio door. Namjoon turned towards the door while I took a quick glance at the clock. 7PM. Based on the time, it was probaby Hoseok, who had another job at a restuarant not far from here. 

I expected to see him coming in, hair disheveled, bags of takeout in his hand, which would be our dinner for the night, all ready to collapse on the small couch in our studio. Instead, I saw dozens of white balloons at the door, soon flooding the small studio. Both Namjoon and I made noises of surprise as Hoseok popped out from the middle of the huge white mass, grinning from ear to ear.

"Hoseok, what the ?" I questioned, eyeing the balloons and sharing a look with Namjoon. He simply laughed and walked closer to me, dropping a huge box on my lap. I groaned at the sudden weight as he plopped down on the couch, placing a bag of takeout carefully on the table. 

"I found those in front of the studio door. It's for you, Yoongi," He chuckled. I shot him a look, not appreciating the disrespect from someone younger than me. Ignoring the sudden chattering between Namjoon and Hoseok, I eyed the beautifully wrapped box on my lap. I read the tag that was attached at the bow, and felt a sudden lump in my throat. I tugged at the bow and carefully unwrapped the box, feeling a burning sensation at the pit of my stomach. I opened it and scanned the contents inside, swallowing thickly as I picked up a strangely wrapped object, dropping a piece of paper in the process.

"So, who's it from?" I heard Namjoon say behind me. I ignored him, already unwrapping the object. My eyes widened as I realized what it was. It was a blue neck pillow, the same one that I had been eyeing for some time. How did she know? I held the pillow in my hands, letting a small smile grace my lips.

"Hey, what's this?" Hoseok said, picking up the piece of paper that I had dropped on the floor. He looked at me, gesturing towards the paper, "May I?" I slowly nodded, clenching the pillow softly.

"To my dearest Min Yoongi. Happy seven months! Here's to many more months of laughing, smiling, and all in all being with each other. I know you're not into celebrating dates like these, but I thought I would do it anyway. Afterall, you are always so sweet to me, despite my weird personality. Oh, by the way, I hope you like the present. I know you've been eyeing it for quite a while, since you keep staring at it when we pass it on our way to eat at the dukbokki cart near my house. Hopefully you'll put it to good use on those days when you have to sleep in the studio. You always complain about the hard cushions on the couch, and I know sleep is important to you, so ta-da! Again, happy seven month Yoongi, don't work too hard, okay?"

The lump in my throat grew as Hoseok finished reading the paper. I turned away from the two, biting my lip and feeling tears stinging my eyes. 

"Let's give him some room," I heard Namjoon whisper to Hoseok. The sound of the door opening and closing filled the room, and I knew I was now alone. Taking a shaky breath, I squeezed my eyes shut. 

I hate myself. So so much.

"-oongi. Yah, Min Yoongi!" I snapped out of my daydream, feeling someone shaking my shoulder. I slowly turned towards whoever was talking to me. My eyes widened at the sight of Jin hyung, his hand still on my on my shoulder. Namjoon and Hoseok shared worried looks with each other as I eyed the hyung before me. Jin was a close friend of ours, but he rarely visited the studio, since he was always busy with his work at the medical office. 

"...Hey hyung," I murmured, my voice raspy from not having said anything in a while. A look of sympathy crossed Jin's face, but soon turned into one of worry. He grabbed my arms and practically dragged me to the couch. After setting me down, he placed a steaming bun in my hand, and gestured me to eat.

I stared at the bun in my hands for a few seconds, but soon threw it back at Jin. He eyed me warily as I turned away away from him.

"You need to eat, Yoongi," His voice was filled with worry, "At least drink something. You can't keep doing this. I know you're having a tough time-"

"What do you know?" I shot back, almost regretting my words. Jin didn't deserve this disrespect. Here he was, taking time out of his busy life to look after me, and this is how I repay him? I made myself sick.

I heard him sigh behind me, but continued to speak, "Look, Hoseok and Namjoon told me everything. How you haven't been eating, drinking, sleeping really. How you've practically locked yourself up in this studio, working hours on end on you compositions. You can't continue this Yoongi, you'll faint from exhaustion and fatigue."

It was true. After that day, the day I walked out her door, I had run straight to my studio and locked myself up in there. I lost my appetite, as well as my thirst, as I worked on song after song. It was a good distraction from the burning sensation in my heart, the constant sinking of my stomach whenever I thought back to the look on her face.

"Sorry hyung. But I," I swallowed thickly, finally facing him, "I'll be fine."

He huffed, rolling his eyes, "As if. Min Yoongi, I'm a doctor for god's sake, I know you won't be fine. At least try to get some rest... please?" He pleaded, holding my hands gently. I sighed, the sudden weight of the past few days finally coming down on me. Hard. I suddenly felt really tired, physically and mentally.

Jin gestured for something behind me as my eyes started drooping close. I suddenly felt a familiar, soft object wrap around my neck. Jin gently pushed me back and made sure I was comfortable while Hoseok placed a warm blanket around my body.

"Good night, Yoongi."

wow okay, hopefully that wasn't too bad of a chapter. I was sort of unsure if I should put Yoongi's POV this soon, but eh I went with it anyway. I hope this gives you an insight on the breakup and the reasoning behind it, but there is more to come! If any of you are confused, the first part is a memory and the second part is the present (again lol but if this bothers you, future chapters won't be like this). Also, thank you to all who have subscribed so far! Your support is really really appreciated c:

here's some sweg yoongi for you~

creds to jimyoong and @sugacrush0309