"If you, If you
If you’re struggling like I am
Can’t we make things a little easier?
I should’ve treated you better when I had you."

— Big Bang "If You"

**Note: The first part is what happened shortly after Chapter 14.

I slid down the door of my bedroom, choking out quiet sobs and hiccups with every passing second, gripping my phone tightly in my hands.

This was all my fault. All my ing fault.

I didn't realize I was dialing Jihyun until her sleepy, light voice filled my ear.

"Hello?" She yawned out, sounding exhausted. I bit my cheek as hard as I could to hold back another sob, but it still managed to wheezle past my lips.

"What's wrong?" At the sound of my distressed voice, Jihyun's immediately changed, now sounding more awake and definetely worried, "Hey, don't cry."

"I-I-I-" I couldn't even form words at this point, practically breaking down, "I ed up Jihyun, I ed up so bad. I don't know what to do anymore."

"Stop," Her voice was soft but firm, making me hold back my quivering voice, "Deep breaths now, c'mon you can do it."

I followed her instructions as she told me to breathe in and out, filling my lungs with much needed air. After awhile, I felt calmer, the mess in my mind becoming more clear with each passing second. I was no longer crying, but I stayed huddled up near my door, my knees pressed against my chest, cradling myself.

It was quiet for a while, but the mere sound of Jihyun breathing across the line was enough to comfort me in the darkness of my apartment. I was so grateful at that moment, so so grateful to have someone like her by my side. That thought alone made the tiniest of smiles bloom on my face.

"Feeling better?" I managed an affirmative grunt at her question, "I'm glad. Now... can you explain what happened? And where is Yoongi? Does he know you're crying?"

At the mention of his name, I froze, the grip on my phone tightening. My silence alone was a clear indication for Jihyun, as she proceeded to sigh, "Oh God, what did he do this time?"

"It wasn't him!" I quickly defended, my heart suddenly racing, "It wasn't his fault... It was me. I-I'm the one who told him to watch that stupid rom-com with me, I'm the one who didn't push him away when he kissed me, I'm the one who led them on, both of them..."

Jihyun was quiet the entire time, probably processing all the information I was firing her way as I explained everything that happened just mere hours ago.

"Tell me," She said after awhile, once I was done talking, practically out of breath, "Do you want to make things up with Yoongi?"

I paused, not expecting her to ask that of all things during this time. Sensing my sudden discomfort, she sighed.

"Look, I know you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings... including your own. But either way, in the end, someone's going to get hurt.  I think the best thing you can do right now is be honest with yourself. Don't give me that I don't know bull, either," Her voice came out curt at first, but softened near the end, "Think with your heart. Do you want to be together with Yoongi again?"

I thought about Youngjae, his smile that would put the sun to shame, his bright laugh, his caring nature, the melodious sound of his voice. My mind quickly drifted to Yoongi, the crinkles of his eyes when he smiled, the way my heart would swell when he laughed, the warmth of his fingers, his sweet, tender kisses that made butterflies flutter in my stomach. There was no denying the pounding of my heart anymore, the desire to hold his hand again, the heat that spread like wildfire throughout my body when he looked at me.

With that, I made a decision.

"...Yes," I whispered at first, my voice quivering slightly. Something within me lifted, the weight that was crushing me before suddenly gone, and I repeated what I just said, much more firm, "Yes, I want to be together with Yoongi again."

A quiet giggle sounded through the line, startling me slightly, "I'm glad you finally figured as much. Now, go to sleep and wait until the morning to set things straight. It's late, you need rest. I'm sure Yoongi is fine."

I nodded at her words, feeling more assured than I was after contacting Hoseok.

"Good night... And Jihyun?"

"Hm?"

"Thanks for everything," I said as sincerely as possible, hoping she would understand. She chuckled a little, her voice sounding tired again, but definitely more happy than before.

"No problem. Just stop beating yourself up, alright?"

"Get your ing hands off of her."

A fist came flying at Junho's face, punching him with a loud smack and pushing him away. His hand finally let go of my arms, and I stumbled backwards, right into someone's chest. My head spun from the sudden turn of events, my brain having problems processing what exactly was going on.

A hand wrapped around my wrist, pulling me back until I was behind their figure, shielded away from Junho.

The first thing I noticed was the familiar scent of cologne as I leaned my head against their back, my head dizzy. 

Yoongi.

"What the ?" Junho snapped, holding his face in disbelief. Red anger flashed across his eyes, "Who the -"

"Does it even ing matter?" Yoongi spat, voice full of spite. I could feel him trembling, barely able to contain himself, "Just back off."

"I knew it- it's composer boy. Jealous I got your girl?" Junho squinted at first, finally getting a good look at Yoongi's face. A smug smirk started to grow on his face, stepping closer to us, "Oh wait, she's not yours anymore. So why don't you move aside and let us continue our fun?"

Before Junho could even blink, Yoongi swung his fist full force and punched him in the face, knocking him down to the ground.

"Fun? Fun? Does it look like she was having fun, you bastard," Yoongi was practically growling at this point, staring him down, "I'll show you what fun is you little-"

"Yoongi!" I grabbed the back of his shirt, holding him back from walking towards Junho, who seemed lost and in a haze, holding his nose as blood trickled down past his lips. He glanced back at me, and I tried not to shrink away at his fiery gaze, his hands balled up into tight fists by his side, "Just let it go, I'm- I'm okay."

He studied me quietly for a second, my hair disheveled and my arms shaking uncontrollably. Sighing in frustration, he swiveled his head around and pointed a finger at Junho.

"Stay away and keep your filthy hands to yourself," His voice came out dangerously low, trying his best to hold himself back, "If I see you lay even one finger on her, I swear you won't see the light of day again."

With that, he reached for my wrist and pulled me away from the scene, heading towards the exit. Not once did he stop and turn around to see the scene he had caused, nor did it look like he cared. His grip on my wrist was tight, his fingers pressing against my skin like his life depended on it. 

We didn't stop until we exited the bar, the cool wind blowing against our skin as soon as we opened the door. It was dark, the only light coming from the lamp posts along the park and the moon.

For a second, we stayed still, taking in the quietness of the night, the fresh air, and what seemed to be a tranquil silence.

After a while, I felt a tug at my wrist, urging me to walk again. I followed Yoongi with quiet steps, my eyes having settled for staring at his back.

"Going around and picking fights with random people," I snapped my head up at his words, having suddenly broken the silence between us. He didn't turn around and continued to walk at a steady pace, "You should be more careful."

I bit my lip, not liking the accusatory tone of his voice, "He was mocking you."

He stopped in his tracks, but still didn't turn around. I continued, "I was just defending you."

"I didn't ask to be defended," He murmured after a while, his voice so low I could barely hear him. I frowned at his words.

"You didn't have to. I would always-"

"Why are you here?" He cut me off, finally turning around and staring back at me. His face was flushed, probably from the alcohol he had drunk earlier, but he seemed composed and unfazed. It was then that I remembered his alcohol tolerance was much better than mine.

His gaze was hard, not exactly mad but he wasn't happy either. He finally let go of my wrist, choosing to stuff his hands into his pockets.

I swallowed hard, searching for words in my mind. Right, the reason I came to find him in the first place...

"Why else? I'm worried about you," I started out slowly, unconsciously reaching for his hand, "C'mon, let's go home."

He stepped back, his eyes narrowing and a scowl settling on his face. I ignored the dejected feeling building up in my gut, quickly retracting my hand.

"And then what? Act like nothing happened again?" His voice was cold, spiteful even as he stared me down. I tried not to shrink away, his words stabbing me painfully.

I had to tell him. I had to.

"Yoongi, we need to talk-"

"There's nothing to talk about," He swiveled around, his back towards me again. I could feel my stomach sinking, my heart beating painfully in my chest. This was all too familiar, I realized suddenly, watching as Yoongi walked away with small steps.

Not again.

"Then at least tell me why you quit your job," I shouted after him, my hands balling up into fists, "I thought you loved composing."

He came to a stop, not bothering to turn around, "That's none of your concern."

The dam that had kept my emotions at bay had finally cracked with that one final push. All of a sudden, I felt a rush within me, anger bubbling up inside.

"Stop it!" I shouted loudly, no longer able to keep still and watch as Yoongi walked away from me, "Stop turning around and walking away, stop shutting me out, just stop it!"

"You always do this, every single ing time, and I'm sick of it," I almost choked on my words, my eyes suddenly stinging with unshed tears, "Stop keeping things to yourself and talk to me! Why are you running away?"

Yoongi swiveled around so fast, practically stomping his way towards me until he was right in front of me. He was fuming, his face set into a permanent scowl.

"Fine, do you want to know why?" He stormed even closer, our faces now merely inches apart. I could feel his breath fan my face, could see the distress and sorrow in his eyes, "Because my boss insulted you."

My eyes widened. That was the last thing I expected to hear. If he noticed my confusion, he didn't mention it, as he continued without skipping a beat.

"One of the biggest inspirations was made fun, and I wasn't going to take it Because I love you that much, still," His voice sudden dropped to a murmur, eyes now unfocused. My heart started hammering in my chest upon hearing his words, my mouth growing dry.

"I don't care about my stupid job," He turned around, looking up at the night sky, "I don't care about anything. Now leave me alone."

I grabbed his arm as fast as I could, my grip tightening with each passing second. No way was I letting him get away. Not now, when I finally got him to talk.

"Well guess what, Min Yoongi?" I chuckled a little to myself, the hot tears building up in my eyes, "I still love you for 's sake. I love you so goddamn much that it's frustrating, it's crushing, and my stupid heart won't stop beating for you. I want to pull away, but at the same time, I want to hold on as tight as I can so you won't go."

"I don't want you to go. I don't want you to leave me again," I choked back a sob, the tears now cascading freely down my face. My grip on his arm tightened, "But you keep on leaving and coming back, and I just don't know what to do anymore. I give up, alright, I ing give up."

Letting go of his arm, I stuffed my hand inside my shirt, desperetley grabbing the cold ring hanging from my neck. Without even thinking twice, I yanked the chain off my neck, the ring now free and in my hand.

"I can't believe I held onto to this stupid ring this entire time," I managed out, my fingers trembling, the ring suddenly feeling so so heavy in the palm of my hand. How easy would it be to just release it and watch as it fell to the ground. I let my fingers slowly release their grip, yet I couldn't drop it. No matter how much I pushed myself, my vision now blurry and my heart pounding a mile a minute, I couldn't drop it.

"Haha, stupid me..." I laughed quietly to myself, feeling more broken than I had ever felt before, "It seems that I can't let go."

It was quiet, the silence of the night doing nothing to qualm the storm within me.

All of a sudden, I was enveloped in a warm embrace, Yoongi's arms wrapping around me tightly. He carefully pushed my head to rest on his shoulder, and I complied easily, burying my face in the material of his jacket. His breath tickled the side of my face, his face craning just slightly until his lips were right next to my ear.

"...Then be mine," He whispered so quietly, I almost didn't catch his words. It took me a few seconds to process what he said, not believing my ears.

"W-what?" I pulled away a little, just enough to meet his eyes. They were soft, sincere, so warm.

He slowly brought his face forward until out foreheads were pressing together. My cheeks immediately flushed at the proximity of his eyes, his breath fanning my face.

"Be mine again," He said more clearly this time, his tone so gentle, so loving, it sent my heart in a frenzy, my mind suddenly fuzzy.

"I..." I swallowed, trying to avert my eyes from his gaze. But everytime I did, I timidly brought my eyes back, unable to resist the tenderness that had settled on his face, "I don't want to get hurt anymore."

"I promise, with every fiber of my being, that I won't hurt you," He mumbled, his tone serious, yet warm, "Not anymore. I'm not perfect, but for you, I'll try, every single goddamn day of my life."

"Because I love you, I love you, I love you so so much."

I felt another wave of tears wash over me, my vision getting blurrier with each passing second. I clutched the front of his shirt, tired of resisting, "...Promise?"

He smiled warmly, his eyes shining brightly. He leaned in slightly, our noses touching, our lips mere centimeters from each other.

"Promise," He whispered right before tilting his head and pressing his lips against my own.

Upon feeling his lips on my own, my eyes fluttered closed and I basked in the moment. The kiss was warm, incredibly warm, as it was soft and sweet. It reminded me of our first kiss, the familiar butterflies fluttering in my stomach, the pitter-patter of my heart with each passing second.

He was being sincere. He wasn't just spewing honeyed words, he really did mean it, every single word. With the kiss came passion, love, and a certain delicateness as he cradled me in his arms, pressing his lips sweetly against my own.

We parted eventually, our cheeks flushed pink, our eyes sparkling. I giggled quietly as he nuzzled his nose against my own, leaning in enough to plant butterfly kisses all over my face.

"Yoongi..." I whined a little as he kissed my eyelids, then brushing my hair aside to kiss my forehead, "Too sweet..."

"Are you complaining?" His tone was teasing, pulling back just in time to see my face turn into a dark shade of red. I shook my head, suddenly feeling shy and turning my head to the side. Even so, I could see the smug smile forming on his lips.

As I continued to avoid looking at him in the eye, he took the opportunity to plant a kiss on my temple, trailing his lips down until they pressed against the corner of my mouth.

He suddenly pulled away, reaching into his pocket and taking something out, something that was awfully familiar. My eyes widened with realization as he slid the ring onto his finger.

"You- the ring, you still-"

"You're not the only one who held on," He whispered, reaching for my hand and holding it up. He took the ring out of my palm, only to slide it onto my middle finger. Bringing my fingers up to his face, he brushed his lips against the ring, looking up at me through hooded eyes.

"I love you," He carefully intertwined our fingers together, clasping my hand tighly in his own. I stared up at him, feeling tears welling up in my eyes, "Would you be mine again?"

"Yes," I wiped my eyes furiously with the back of my sleeve, smiling up at him, "Yes because I love you, too."

With that, I leaned up and capture his lips with my own, his lips moving in unison with mine.

The moment was magical, filled with fireworks and sparks. Time stopped at that moment, and everything disappered. Nothing mattered anymore; it was just Yoongi and I, kissing underneath the pale light of the moon.

"If you
If you
If it’s not too late
Can’t we get back together?"

dsfdfsfdks I updated within a month what is life aha :')

well there you go guys, it happened!! they got back together!! wooo!! but it doesn't end there, oh no, we just have a little bit more to go!!

thanks for all the support, seriously you guys are the real mvps and the real motivation tbh :^))

ok real talk I was reading your comments, and one particular comment (you know who you are ;)) suggested me to update on Yoongi's birthday. I don't know what happened; I just had a moment, and I was like "ok challenge accepted let's goooooo."

man I think I almost died trying to get this out on time bUT I DID IT!!! IT'S MARCH 9th IN SOUTH KOREA AND MARCH 9TH IN THE US!! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

it's the lovely birthday of the one and only...

creds to comfyjimin

Min Yoongi aka Grandpa aka Sweg Master aka Genius syub !!

honestly speaking, yoongi is so hardworking and dedicated to everything he does ;u;  he may be lazy and love sleep like the grandpa he is, but he cares a lot for others and dedicates so much time to his music and bangtan. another thing that I love is that he doesnt censor himself, he lets the world know exactly how he feels and I'd be damned if that isn't inspirational aha

also he loves his hometown so much and takes pride in it its so cute hehe

So again happy birthday Min Suga, you deserve the stars and more :^))

creds to minpuffs