"It's raining again
Tear drops again
You can't see anything
Close your eyes
And hold my hands
I'm not going to let go of anything from now on."

— Eric Nam "Stop The Rain"

"Are you sure you don't want me to come?"

I smiled slightly to myself, pressing my phone closer to my ear, "Yeah, I'll be fine Yoongi. We're just going to be around the park. No need to worry."

"No, not that. I meant-" There was silence, followed by a quiet sigh, "...Alright, if you insist."

I made my way to a nearby bench near the park, taking a seat. It was a gloomy day, the sky shrouded with gray clouds. I cursed silently to myself, already being able to sense the impending storm coming. Why hadn't I brought my umbrella?

"Hey," I jumped a little at Yoongi's voice, having been too engrossed in my own thoughts. I hummed in response, urging him to continue, "I... I'm sorry. I know this is hard for you. Extremely uncomfortable."

"Why are you apologizing?" I scrunched my eyebrows together in confusion, "I'm the one who put myself in this situation. Now I'm the one who has to fix it."

"Yeah, I know but..." He sighed again, sounding oddly shy, "I wish I could hold you right now."

My face heated up at his words, my ears suddenly burning. He wasn't usually this direct with his words, always implying but never outright stating them.

It seemed like I was rendered speechless, as I opened my mouth to respond, only to close it when nothing came out. I heard him chuckle over the line, his voice warm.

"Just thought I would share that piece of information," He said quietly, "Well, guess I'll leave you to your business then. Call me if anything happens, okay?"

I finally managed to get the gears in my mind running and nodded my head numbly. After a few seconds, I finally realized he couldn't see me and let out a shaky breath, "Y-Yeah, I will. Bye, Yoongi."

"Bye."

I placed my phone back into my purse and sighed, cupping my cheeks and slapping them slightly, willing for the crimson color of my face to go away.

It had been a couple of days since that fateful night outside the bar. Yoongi had followed me back to my apartment, where we discussed our relationship and where we were standing now. It was tiring at times, trying to keep up and make sense of each other, but in the end, we both agreed that there was no rush. I wasn't going anywhere, and neither was he. We would ease into being with each other at a our own pace, however slow that may be.

However, it was through our talk that a sickening feeling of guilt suddenly dawned upon me.

What about Youngjae?

With that thought, I freaked out. I had cheated on him. Although we never outright stated we were dating, we were seeing each other. Sure, maybe we never did anything besides hold hands and the occasional kiss on the cheek, but it was a relationship filled with warm cafe nights and strolls in the park. I could still see his smile, hear his laugh at the back of my head as he told me a corny joke he found online.

Did I really want to take that away form him? Did I even have it in me to break his heart like that?

A discreet glance at Yoongi's face while we slept on my bed that night, the warmth of his arms wrapped around my torso, his chest rising and falling quietly with every breathe he took, the way he nuzzled his nose into my hair and proceeded to kiss it gently; it was all I needed to steel my resolve.

Jihyun was right. Someone was bound to get hurt, there was no avoiding that.

Having made my decision and with a heavy heart, I texted Youngjae asking if he wanted to meet up. I didn't give him any context as to why I had been ignoring his text messages and calls lately, afraid that he wouldn't come and I would never be able to clear up things between us face to face. 

He replied almost immediately, sounding so ecstatic that it almost broke my heart.

No wonder Yoongi was so worried. I had told him the day before what I was going to do, and he didn't even have to look at me to tell what kind of mood I was in. My voice was shaky, distress evident with every word spilling out of my mouth.

I didn't want him to come, though. This was my problem, something that I would have to clear up by myself. 

The sound of someone whistling in the distance broke me out of my thoughts. I looked to the side, my eyes falling on Youngjae's face. As soon as we made eye contact, the smile on his face grew and he practically skipped his way towards me.

"Hey!" He shouted happily, catching me off guard. He grabbed my arm and pulled me in for a hug, his arms almost crushing me with his enthusiasm, "I haven't seen you in so long!"

I weakly patted his back, biting back the smile that was about to form on my lips. I had forgotten how contagious his happiness was; I had to remind myself the whole purpose of this meeting just to hold back the sudden urge to laugh along with him.

"Youngjae," I tried my best to push him away but his grip was too tight, "I can't breathe..."

"Oh!" He quickly released his hold on me and smiled brightly, looking like a little kid who had just gotten candy. I gulped, my hands suddenly sweaty. This was the smile I had to get rid off?

"Sorry about that, haha," He reached for my hand, grasping it within his own. Before I knew it, his fingers were intertwined with my own, making a small heat rise up in my cheeks, "I missed you."

I tried my best to muster up a reply, but to no avail. My words were caught in my throat, showing no signs of coming out anytime soon. He didn't seem to mind though, as he swung our hands back and forward. I was surprised he didn't notice how awfully nervous I felt, a frown already settling on my face.

"I'm surprised you wanted to meet up at the park first. I thought we could warm up at the cafe first and, you know, catch up and stuff."

I bit my lip and yanked my hand out of his hold. He looked taken aback and hurt, slowly settling his hand down against his side. I looked away, my heart hammering painfully in my chest, my hands shaking.

"Youngjae, we have to talk," I was surprised at how composed I sounded. His eyes were trained on my face, attempting to make sense of whatever was going on.

"...Is something wrong?" He spoke so hesitantly now, the previous delight in his voice completely gone.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. I had to be as honest as possible, for the both of us.

"I'm sorry," I started, my voice too quiet for my liking, "But I... you... whatever it is we have, it needs to stop."

I shut my eyes tightly, not really knowing what to expect from him. Would he explode in rage? Walk away without another word?

When there was no immediate reaction from him, I willed myself to open my eyes to check if he was still there. My heart practically dropped to my stomach upon seeing him look down at his shoes, looking more broken than I had ever seen him.

"I should have known," He spoke softly, so unlike him, "I had asked Jihyun about you after you stopped replying to my texts, and just from the look she gave me... I knew something was up."

He suddenly looked up, his eyes holding mine in an unstable gaze, "But why, what did I do wrong?"

The sky suddenly grew darker, gray clouds coming in from all directions. I watched as slowly, one drop, two drops, three drops, fell from the sky. Before I knew it, it was lightly drizzling, the dark wet spots on the ground growing bigger and bigger with each passing second.

I tried my best to remain as calm as possible, the guilt within me thrashing around. I had to tell him, I had to.

"You did nothing wrong. It's- It's me. You're such a wonderful person and I genuinely had a great time with you. You... you made me feel happier than I've been in a long time. But... we don't feel the same way for each other. I can't reciprocate your feelings."

"But I thought we- you, I-" His mouth failed to cooperate with him, stuttering with every word, "Can't I convince you to stay? I promise I'll change, I'll do it if you would just-"

"Sorry Youngjae, but I-" He cut me off, sounding more and more desperate.

"What does he have that I don't?" I was taken aback by his words, my eyes widening. How does he know... he?

"What do you mean?" I questioned him a little too quickly, the blood suddenly rushing a little too loudly in my ear.

"I know about your relationship with Min Yoongi," He seemed to read the thoughts in my head, shaking his head, "The day you showed up at the bar, I asked my hyungs about you and the guy who took you away. I don't know much, but from what I gathered from, you guys used to be a thing."

I scrunched my eyebrows together, feeling lost. It bothered me that he already knew about Yoongi. From what I could tell, he really didn't know much about us, but still, it irked me that he knew about my "past" relationship without ever asking me.

"So tell me, what does he have that I don't?" He gave me a look I couldn't quite decipher, but it was evident that he was tired, from the sag of his shoulders and the frown that had settled on his lips.

"Youngjae, please don't do this to me... don't make things harder than they already are-"

"Do what?" His harsh tone made me jump, anger seeping into his voice, "You're the one dumping me here. Did you date me just to humor yourself?"

The raindrops grew heavier and heavier until it was pouring heavily all around us. I could feel the rain seeping through my clothes, chilling my skin with every drop, but I ignored it. I ignored the sudden sleekness of my hair as it got wet, ignored the small puddles forming beneath our feet, ignored the small shivers that racked through my body. Youngjae seemed as unfazed as I was, eyes never tearing away from me.

"I would never do something like that," I started quietly, my hands clenched at my sides, "Especially not to someone as sweet and as kind as you."

"Then why?" His hair was sticking to his forehead, his face wet and his eyes glistening. For a second, I wondered if his face was wet because of the rain or his tears.

"I thought that eventually I would feel the same for you as you did for me. But... I don't think that'll every happen. I'm so sorry Youngjae, but it has to end."

He was quiet after that, eyes still trained on me. Then, he looked off to the side and wiped at his face, letting out a shaky sigh.

"...Well I guess that's it then," He let out a bitter laugh, sounding so broken. My heart clenched painfully at the empty look in his eyes, wishing so much for the smiling boy from before to come back.

My hand reached out to him, wanting to comfort him, only to have it slapped away. I stepped back, startled, my eyes widening as he hissed quietly.

"Don't touch me."

I tried to meet his eyes, but he refused to look at me. Every step forward from me resulted in a step back from him. I felt hot tears welling up in my eyes, felt the familiar lump growing in my throat. I hated this. So, so much.

Neither of us moved from our spots. We both watched as the rain continued to pour, continued to soak us to the bone. The clouds rumbled in the sky, not showing any signs of letting up.

"Hey."

Before I could process what was going on, the rain stopped pelting against my skin, and I felt a familiar warmth right next to me. I looked up slowly, my eyes landing on the underside of an umbrella.

"You were taking a while and I got a little worried when it started raining," I finally turned around, coming face to face with Yoongi. I could tell he was more than a little worried by the tiny downward curve of his lips, his eyes curious as they flickered from me to Youngjae.

"So you're Yoongi," I swiveled around, watching as Youngjae stepped forward until he was right in front of Yoongi. I tried to read the expression on his face, but to no avail. He was a blank slate.

"...And you must be-"

Youngjae chuckled, waving him off, "Doesn't matter now anyway, does it?"

His eyes suddenly turned serious, jaw set hard, "Take good care of her. I swear if you do anything to make her unhappy, I won't hesitate to take her away from you."

Yoongi didn't even flinch, "I know and I won't. I'll make her happy every single day of my goddamn life."

Youngjae drew his face closer, his eyes scrutinizing him, "You better."

With a curt nod, Youngjae quickly swiveled around and walked away. I watched as he grew smaller and smaller until he turned at a corner and completely disappeared from my sight.

It was quiet, the only sound being the rain pattering against the umbrella and the rumbling of the clouds up above. I felt numb, not sure as to what I was supposed to be feeling right now.

"C'mon let's go," A hand closed around my wrist, breaking me out of my trance. I wrenched my hand away from his grip, stepping back several steps until the umbrella was no longer shielding me.

"I-I need to be alone," I stuttered out, wrapping my arms around myself, willing for everything to stop. The turmoil that was in my head, my heart, everything. I tried to swallow down the lump in my throat, but it refused to leave.

I heard him sigh, "Not in this state you don't. C'mon, you're gonna catch a cold," He reached for me again, but I recoiled against his touch, pushing him away so harshly that he lost his grip on the umbrella. It fell to the floor with a quiet splash, the rain now falling freely on both of us. 

"Serves me right," I couldn't help the sob that escaped my lips, my mind flashing back to Youngjae's smiling face, so happy and carefree, then suddenly changing to the crestfallen face I had seen mere moments ago, "I-I broke him Yoongi, I tore him apart! It's all my fault!"

He strode towards me so fast, I didn't even register he was close to me again until he wrapped his arms around me, the warmness of his skin feeling delightful against my own. My arms landed on his chest, trying to push him away weakly, but he only pulled me in closer until my face was buried in his soaking shirt.

I thrashed in his arms, but his grip was strong, never letting me go. I felt my energy draining quickly, eventually having to lean against him for support. My legs were about to give out, but he kept me upright, not caring about how hard the rain continued to fall around us.

"You did what you had to do," His voice was warm, comforting even.

"It must have been hard. I may never understand what you're going through, but I'm so so proud of you for what you did. You did what many could never ever do."

With his words, I broke down completely. Whatever wall I put up before broke down, and I sobbed loudly, my hands gripping the front of his shirt tightly.

"I wish there was an easier way," I kept saying, my voice muffled by his shirt, "An easier, painless way..."

"Sadly there isn't. But sometimes it's better to take the higher road. No shortcuts. I'm sure he appreciates you telling him in person and clearing things up. Not now, perhaps, but he will."

He cupped my face gently, making me look up at him. I could see the warmth in his eyes, the tiny smile that played at his lips. 

"I'm so proud of you, you know that? You're strong, so strong."

"Yoongi..." Everything about him was so comforting, so sweet, making my heart swell with love, "I- you- oh my God, I don't know what to say."

"Shh," He put his finger to my lips, effectively silencing me, He cupped my face again, his eyes twinkling, "You don't have to say anything."

He brought his lips to my ear, whispering softly, "Can I kiss you?"

I giggled quietly, shaking my head, "Do you even have to ask?"

He chuckled along with me, but soon tilted his head and connected his lips with my own. It was warm, so so warm. For a moment, I forgot about the rain, the goosebumps on my skin, my clothes sticking to me uncomfortably. It was so wonderful just to forget everything and to get lost in the feeling of his lips.

We pulled away after a while, both of our cheeks flushed. I laughed upon remembering what was happening around us, wrapping my arms around him tightly. He raised an eyebrow questioningly, but I shook my head, leaning forward until our foreheads were touching.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, it's just- we're kissing in the rain. Just like in the rom-coms."

"Huh, I guess we are aren't we?" He winked at me, and I ignored the way my legs suddenly felt like jelly, my cheeks growing hot as he drew closer, "I sure would love to do that again."

I giggled at his words, but still allowed my eyes to flutter close as he kissed me again and again and again.

We headed to his apartment afterwards (it was his first day back after the renovation, and he complained cutely about all the dust in his house). Before I knew it, I was pushed into his bathroom with one of his sweaters and a towel in my hands, with a command to shower before I caught a cold. I watched as he shut the bathroom door, telling me through the door that he would be in the kitchen making something warm to eat.

I looked around the bathroom, taking in how familiar everything looked. I wasn't at his apartment often, Yoongi always complaining that it was too messy and embarrassing for me to see, but not much had changed since I had last seen it. I smiled slightly to myself, peeling of my clothes and hopping into the shower, immediately cranking the hot water on.

I basked in the warmness of the water, taking my time soaping myself and washing off the suds. I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off, putting on my undergarments before picking up Yoongi's sweater. It was quite big, even for Yoongi to wear, but I pulled it over my head anyway, watching as the hem of the sweater fell just above my knees, the sleeves a little too long, covering my hands. Nevertheless, it was warm, and with a discreet whiff, smelled like Yoongi too. I giggled, basking in the wonderful feeling.

I made my way out of the bathroom, quietly making my way to the kitchen. My eyes landed on Yoongi, a towel thrown over his damp hair, his wet white shirt sticking to his back, giving me an almost full view of his lean back muscles. I gulped, shaking my head and forced myself to stop staring.

"Yoongi," I called out to him, wanting to tell him that the shower was free now.

"Hm?" He swiveled around from his spot in front of the stove, his eyes widening and nearly dropping the ladle in his hand. He eyed me carefully, his eyes trailing from my face to the hem of the sweater brushing against my legs. I blushed, tugging nervously at the hem of the sweater. 

"It's too big, I think," I could feel the red, hot feeling of my cheeks but tried my best to not look away from him. He stayed quiet, his eyes never tearing away from me as I drew closer, "The sleeves are longer than my arms but I guess it's not-"

All of a sudden, I was enveloped in a tight hug, making me squeak in surprise. I turned my face to look at Yoongi, but he had already buried his face in my shoulder, the tips of his ears burning.

"I forgot," He started, drawing back to give me a lazy smile, looking embarrassed, "I forgot how good you looked in my clothes."

I gave him a blank look before the corners of my lips curved upwards and I laughed, "Well then, I might as well take your whole wardrobe."

"Be my guest," He pecked my lips, bringing me closer to him, "You're so beautiful."

I flushed hotly, pushing him away weakly, "G-Go take a shower, you're getting me wet again."

He chuckled, a playful smirk playing at his lips, "Is that so? Want to shower together then?"

He laughed and planted a kiss on my forehead as my eyes widened in shock and my face practically glowed crimson at his words.

"Kidding, kidding," He ruffled my hair, finally stepping away and making his way towards the bathroom. Before I could even think, I turned around and called for him.

"Yoongi!"

"Hm?" He swiveled around, his eyes curious as I twiddeled my fingers together.

"Thanks for coming to get me," I stammered, looking up at him, "And um... I-I really missed you."

He gave me a warm smile, his eyes crinkling in delight, "I missed you too."

"Even if it looks fragile
Please get this
You're beautiful in the rain
The most beautiful thing."

im so sorry for not updating in over a month gah ;^; i hope the chapter was worth the wait tho!!

hopefully the next chapter wont take as long to come out ><

speaking of releases, bts is coming back!! i'm so excited omg i already preordered the album and i cant wait for it to come :^))

AND they're coming to kcon ny!! i cant even omg a chance to see them irl kfkjdkjfdsl hopefully i get the hitouch pass for them gahhhh

until next time ^^