"As I drink this minty coffee that you
used to like, I think of you, rewind
A lot of time passed and these days,
I sometimes miss you,
I wonder why?"

— BTS "Coffee"

The first time I met Yoongi was when I first started working at the cafe near the park over a year ago. 

I had just started working as a barista for a week, and was still jittery and unsure about how everything worked at the cafe. A customer had ordered a caffe americano, and so with shaky hands, I prepared the drink (not before spilling several shots of espresso on the floor). I was pretty happy with the way the drink had turned out and turned around with a smile, only to be met with the customer gone from the cashier. I stood there dumbly for a few seconds, turning my head left and right, looking for whoever had ordered the drink.

"Um, did anyone order a caffe americano?" There were a few murmurs among the crowd, but no one stepped out to claim the drink. I walked towards the cashier and tapped her on the shoulder, pointing at the drink on my tray, "Do you remember who ordered this?"

"Oh, it was that guy with the huge headphones. I think he's sitting over there," I nodded and thanked her, making my way out from behind the counter and walking towards said guy. I couldn't get a good look at his face due to the large scarf that was wrapped around his neck and the beanie that was sloppily placed on his head. A huge set of headphones were perched on his head, and I watched as he bobbed his head along to a silent beat, eyes staring intensely at the screen of his laptop. He seemed so focused, I didn't want to disturb him. Glancing between his figure and the americano in my hand, I took a deep breath and placed the drink on his table, hoping he would look up and confirm that it was his drink.

To my dismay, he didn't even stop for a second to acknowledge my presence, his hands suddenly typing furiously onto the the keyboard. Slightly curious (and admittedly, a little annoyed), I titled my head and took a peek at the screen of his laptop, my eyes landing on several bars and tabs opened up on some sort of program. A music program, maybe? I could hear a faint tune coming form his headphones, and found myself leaning a little closer to him, straining my ear to hear the music more clearly. The music suddenly stopped, and I frowned, watching as a hand came up to slam his laptop screen close. 

I blinked, and slowly turned my head to the side, only to have my heart nearly jump out of my chest upon seeing his eyes literally burning holes into my skull. His gaze was piercing, dark, and unamused, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared right then. I felt like a deer caught in headlights, and my mind raced, trying to come up with an explanation; or maybe an excuse? I had invaded his privacy, technically speaking. 

"Um," I squeaked, a huge lump forming in my throat. C'mon girl, get it together. I could already hear Jihyun huffing and telling me to speak up. Clearing my throat, I bit my trembling lip, and started, "Sorry, I was just- uh, I didn't mean to-"

"What?" His voice was low, rumbling slightly in his chest, but there was something about it. Something that was strangely soothing, like a rich cup of coffee at 8 in the morning. However, that did little to the soften his gaze, which was now raking my figure, giving me a once over. 

"Did you- um, order an americano?"

He looked at me blankly for a second, watching as I pointed a shaky finger at the steaming cup in front of him. His eyebrows rose slightly upon finally realizing there was a drink in front of him, and reached for the cup, his fingers grasping the cup handle.

"Thanks," He mumbled, bringing the cup up to his lips. I didn't know why, but hearing his low voice again made me a little flustered, my cheeks suddenly warm.

"N-no problem," I bowed to him quickly and turned around, covering my face with the tray in my hand. Why was it suddenly so hot in here? I was too busy trying not to let everyone see my red cheeks that I ran right into someone's chest, the impact hard enough to make me fall onto the ground. I groaned, having landed on my , and sighed. Could this day get any worse?

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" A hand was offered to me, and I gratefully took it, allowing it to pull me up to my feet. I stumbled up, and was steadied by hands being placed on my shoulders, gripping me gently, "Sorry, I should have looked where I was going."

"No, no, it's alright-" I started, snapping up my eyes to identify the source of the voice. My eyes widened upon landing on a very familiar face, eyes staring at me worriedly, but there was a teasing smile playing at his lips. His eyes suddenly squinted upon getting a look at my face, eyebrows knitting together. I titled my head to the side, mirroring his actions.

It took about fifteen seconds for everything to click into place.

"Wait, aren't you in my literature class?" He blurted out around the same time I had opened up my mouth. I nodded my head, offering him a smile. I saw him smile widely back at the confirmation, turning into a literal sunshine right before my eyes. Seeing a slight hesitance in his eyes, however, I quickly introduced myself, sighing with relief as he continued to smile widely.

"I'm Jung Hoseok! Sorry about that, I'm sort of bad with putting names to faces," He rubbed the nape of his neck sheepishly, but not once did he stop smiling. I found myself grinning back at him, shaking my head and assuring him that it was okay. He suddenly gasped, as if remembering something, "Oh right. Sorry, I have to go help my friend Yoongi over there," He pointed in the direction of the guy who had ordered the americano, "I promised I would help him with his compositions, haha. See you around!"

He quickly waved goodbye to me, scurrying his way through the cafe. He plopped down on a seat next to his friend, slinging his arms around the male, his voice suddenly whiny and filled with aegyo.

"Yoongi hyung! How could you order without Hobi?" A loud groan was heard from the shorter male, and I watched as he pushed Hoseok away, a pissed off look on his face.

"Yah, get off me! I need to finish this composition soon," The male, who's name I guessed was Yoongi, took a big swig from his cup, cringing slightly at the hot liquid scalding his tongue, ", too hot, too hot."

For some reason, I found the action really cute, like a sudden break from his prior cold exterior. I bit back a laugh and quickly shuffled my way back behind the counter, trying my best to regain my composure. 

That was the start of my strange interactions with Yoongi. He came back every week, ordered the same drink, and sat down at the same table. He always had his laptop and headphones at his possession, always furiously typing away whenever I approached him. To my surprise, as soon as I set the cup down on his table, he would suddenly stop typing, look up from his screen to glance at me, give me a little nod and a quiet "thanks," before reaching for his cup to take a sip. 

Hoseok eventually introduced me to him, and needless to say, it was pretty awkward. Yoongi remained quiet, muttering a short greeting in return, and immediately went back to typing on his laptop. Hoseok shook his head, a bark of laughter escaping his lips.

"Seriously hyung, sometimes I wonder if you're married to your music."

I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little curious about the songwriter (or at least I thought he was) who always ordered a cup of americano. Despite our first interaction, he seemed like a very passionate person, especially when it came to music. Whenever the cafe wasn't busy, and I was left to clean the counter , I found myself staring at him, noticing the way he stuck his tongue out whenever he typed for a long time, or the way he would tug at his fringe when he was stuck and a little frustrated. It was these little things that I found strangely endearing, and I looked forward to his weekly visits more and more.

He was actually quite good looking, I had to admit. Although I didn't notice it the first time I talked to him, his complexion was very pale, his jaw line sharp, and his eyes were strangely deep, in a sense that you could get lost in them very easily. I had to catch myself from staring at him for too long sometimes, a furious, red blush adorning my cheeks right after.

There was one particular day where my curiosity got the better of me. It was a pretty calm day, no long lines in front of the register nor was it very crowded. My manager informed me that I could take my break after serving Yoongi his usual americano. Sighing with relief, I put his drink down on his table, I watched as he looked up from his work, eyes lazily drifting from his laptop screen to my face. They lingered on me for a second longer than usual before going to his drink.

"Thanks," He mumbled, sliding his headphones off his ears and taking a tiny sip of his drink, again hissing upon burning his tongue on the hot liquid. Instead of walking away like I usually did, I stood rooted in my spot, biting my lip nervously while trying my best to ignore the slight fluttering of my heart in my chest. 

"Yoongi-ssi," I said hesitantly, testing the waters. This was the first time I had ever addressed him personally like that, and I almost backed out when his gaze immediately zeroed in on me again, a slight hint of surprise in his eyes. He remained silent, eyes still trained on me, and I gulped, gathering my thoughts.

"Why do you always order an americano?"

It was a silent few seconds after that. I averted my gaze from his face, feeling an embarrassed red flush glowing on my cheeks. Great, I probably creeped him out or something. Gathering what little pride I had left, I was about to swivel around and head back to the counter until I heard him clear his throat. I took a peek at his face and found him stirring his coffee with the little spoon provided to him.

"... Because it's the only way I stay alive," He muttered so matter-of-factly, I was at a loss for words. I blinked once, twice, racking my brain for something to say.

"Um, okay," I tried my best to hide my confusion and nodded. I must have done a pretty bad job though, because he immediately looked up from his drink, eyes a little softer than they were before.

"Sorry, that came out... strange. I just stay up really late some times working on my songs," He explained slowly, eyes shifting to look at me, then back at his coffee, "Americanos are the only coffee that stop me from dropping dead on the floor from lack of sleep."

I chuckled slightly at his words, finally understanding what he meant by his previous statement. It was then that I noticed the dark bags underneath his eyes, and how his shoulders were slumped, exhaustion evident in his slow movements. He looked like a zombie, a very tired, lazy zombie.

I hadn't known his passion for music caused him to have sleepless nights. Although my admiration for him grew more and more, I couldn't help but feel slightly worried about his health. Was he eating properly? Just drinking coffee wasn't good for the health, especially one that lacked in sleep.

"I don't mean to be... nosy I guess, but I don't think drinking just coffee without any food is good for you. You should take care of yourself, you know," I titled my head slightly, contemplating an idea in my head, "I could make a sandwich for you, if you want."

His eyebrows rose slightly at my offer, and I threw my hands in front of me, waving them frantically, "You don't have to accept, of course! I mean- who am I to tell you that, right? Sorry, forget I said anything-"

I was stopped by a deep chuckle erupting from his throat, a little grin playing at his lips. My eyes widened ever so slightly at the sudden change in his mood, and I found myself staring at his smile, which lit up his entire face. I had never seen him smile in all the times he had visited, so this was a rare sight that I found myself engraving into my mind. 

"I'll think about it," He hummed, eyes suddenly teasing, "Thing is, I don't know if I trust you to make me a sandwich if your coffee drinks aren't that good."

It took a second for his words to sink in, but when they did, I couldn't help but laugh, knowing full well the truth behind his words.

"Mm, yeah, I don't know if I'm really cut out for this whole "barista" thing," I started, waving my hand in the air to indicate my workplace behind the counter, where all the various coffees were located, "It's been like, a month since I started working here, and I still spill espresso shots everywhere. So yeah, sorry if your coffee ."

He looked surprised at the sudden confession, and knitted his eyebrows together, perplexed, "Why are you working as a barista, then?"

I finally realized I had been standing the whole time, and discreetly looked at the chair next to Yoongi. To my relief, he caught my message and scooted over, making room for me to sit on the pulled out chair.

"Well for starters, being a barista is definitely not my "ideal" job, per se. I actually want to be a writer," As I said the word writer, I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, trying to gauge his reaction. To my relief, he only nodded in return, urging me to continue, "I've always dreamed of inspiring someone with the flow of my words and the messages behind them, and I hope to publish my own book someday."

"The thing is, my dad- he doesn't approve of this dream of mine. He hates the fact that I wasn't willing to study business to take over his company so much that he refuses to pay for my college tuition. So I took it upon myself to find work. I've had odd jobs throughout my life, trying to support myself as well as pay for my classes, but it's been... hard. Thankfully, the owner of this cafe took me in, despite my inexperience and everything. I don't have to work as much as I did for my other jobs, which I'm happy about because it's my final year, and exams are coming up and everything."

It was quiet after that, and I looked up anxiously, having stared at my shoes the entire time. I felt my mouth go dry upon seeing the soft look in his eyes, his entire face contemplative, like he was actually paying attention to everything I had said.

"S-sorry, I started rambling. God, why do I always do this," I could feel my cheeks turning red from embarrassment.

"Well," He started, eyes still soft, still so understanding. He propped his elbow on the table, his chin resting on the palm of his hand. The corners of his lips quirked upward in a small grin, "Your americanos have definitely improved. In fact, the one today actually tastes like an actual americano. So you know, if that writer thing doesn't work out..."

I blinked at him, until it dawned to me that he had complimented me, well sort of, in an attempt to comfort me in a way. Not just his words, but the smile he offered me really did lift my mood, for some strange reason. 

"Gee thanks," I finally grinned back at him, making sure there was a hint of sarcasm in my voice, "I'll keep that in mind when I'm pulling out my hair trying to write my thesis statement for my term paper due next week."

He chuckled, his lips stretching wide until I could see his gums. I ignored the little fluttering of my heart again, not wanting to admit that he looked really cute with his gummy smile and all. 

"...Actually," He brought a hand up to tug at his fringe, adjusting the beanie on his head at the same time. He then turned to stare at the screen of his laptop, his lips pursing together to form a thin line. He remained quiet for a second before murmuring quietly, "Do you want to hear my latest composition?"

"Yes!" I replied immediately, a hand soon coming up to clamp over my mouth. I cleared my throat, trying to keep my excitement to a minimum, but I could already see Yoongi raise one of his eyebrows in amusement. I had always been curious about his songs. They were his life and passion, and for some reason the mere fact that he even offered to let me listen to one of them was exciting, "I mean- yeah, sure. But... why me?"

He hummed in reply, already sliding his headphones off his neck and handing them to me, "I need someone other than Hoseok and Namjoon to critique my work. A fresh opinion, I guess you could say. You said you're a writer, right? Maybe you'll understand my lyrics differently than them."

My face suddenly went red, my mind having drifted to impossible scenarios. Of course he would ask you because you're a writer! It's not like you're suddenly special or anything. I didn't know why I felt a little disappointed, but I quickly shook my head and nodded in understanding. 

I took the headphones from his hand and placed them over my ears, giving Yoongi a thumbs up. He looked away from me and focused on his laptop screen, his finger sliding over the touch pad and pressing play.

To say I was surprised is an understatement. I was absolutely floored by the sudden beats and rhythms filling my ears. A voice smoothly cut into the song, which I quickly realized was Yoongi's, and was spitting words and bars like there was no tomorrow. Altogether it was a beautiful blend of heavy beats and rapping. I was so entranced by everything that I almost forgot my original task. I quickly payed close attention to the lyrics of the song, Yoongi's voice deep and full of passion.

His words were sharp, not in the sense that they hurt, per say, but they were direct and definitely stirred up something sentimental within me. His voice spoke of harsh times and inner struggles, hitting a little too close to home with my problems at the moment. I suddenly felt tears spring up in my eyes, and I fought back the urge to curl up into a ball and cry. I quickly wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt, not noticing the way Yoongi looked surprised at my reaction, his eyes widening and his hands reaching for his laptop. 

The music stopped abruptly, but tears fell from my eyes anyway. A voice, slightly muffled, spoke to me, but I couldn't hear it past the whirlwind of thoughts in my head. Gentle hands brushed against my cheeks, making me jerk in surprise at the sudden touch, but they quickly reached for the headphones and slid them off my head.

"I'm sorry," I stumbled out, feeling slightly choked up. I offered him a trembling smile, a little surprised at the gentle look in his eyes, "Sorry, I just- I don't know what washed over me."

He nodded in understanding, mumbling that it was okay, no need to apologize, while handing me a tissue. I gratefully took it from him, wiping my eyes and taking a deep breath, calming my nerves.

"Wow, I..." He started after I seemed calm enough. He look slightly uncomfortable, his eyes looking everywhere but at my face, "I've never gotten that reaction before. Was it... that bad?"

"No, no!" I quickly shook my head, denying his statement. This time, I gave him a genuine smile, albeit a bit small, but sincere nonetheless, "It wasn't bad at all! In fact, it was almost a little too magical, if anything."

"Your beats and rhythms flowed really well with each other. And you're rapping- it was really smooth and fits perfectly with the rest of the song." I spoke enthusiastically, complimenting his work. It was true: the song was truly beautiful.

He chuckled slightly at my words, stopping me from further praising his works. His eyes finally slid to my face, and I could tell he was still slightly worried.

"I'm glad you liked the song so much. But... why did you cry?"

I suddenly felt shy, my face heating up. I looked down at my shoes, biting my lip nervously, "I, um- that is. I'm very... emotional, you could say. Your lyrics were really beautiful, and I don't know- they really spoke to me. I... cried because they're very meaningful and passionate, and I could really relate to them. You're a really good song writer, Yoongi-ssi."

He blinked, looking slightly speechless. His face suddenly turned red, and he brought a hand up to cover his mouth, looking to the side.

"Thanks," He muttered, his cheeks still flaming, "That really means a lot."

I hadn't expected to see Yoongi much after that. He only came once a week, usually on Mondays, so when he plopped down on the chair in front of me merely two days later, I was a mixture of surprised and slightly happy. I would have been happier if it wasn't for my bad mood, as I was slumped over the table, groaning my life away.

I looked up upon hearing the screeching of the legs of the chair on the floor, having just started my break. A steaming cup was suddenly placed in front of me, b with whipped cream and caramel drizzled on top. I hesitantly reached for the drink, my fingers playing with the cup handle.

"...How did you know I like lattes?" I muttered, taking a tentative sip. The drink was still scalding hot, but the sweetness of the caramel was enough for me to enjoy the drink. My mood suddenly lifted, and I felt slightly better. 

"You look like the type to like sweet drinks," He propped his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his hand, staring at me. I could tell he was trying to read my expression, but I tried my best to mask my mood with a smile. 

"Do I now?" I chuckled, taking another sip. The drink was warm and sweet, a little too sweet for some but it was perfectly fine for me.

He hummed, his eyes still trained on me. I felt a slight blush form on my cheeks from his stare, my heart doing little summersaults in my chest.

"You seem really... down," He said after a while, his voice quiet but comforting, in a way, "...Do you want to talk about it?

I hesitated for a second, not really sure if I wanted to trouble him with anything, but the way he gazed at me, like he actually cared, made me push my doubts aside. I cleared my throat, setting the warm cup down. 

My smile slowly dropped and I frowned slightly, looking at the drink in my hands, "Well, classes have been more hectic than usual, and I'm having trouble keeping up. My dad suddenly called me the other day and just randomly set me up with this Junho guy, a son of some company. I finally agreed to meet him the other day, and I already dislike him. He thinks that the world revolves around him, and that money grows on trees; it's people like him that don't appreciate hard work that piss me off the most."

I took a deep breath, my head slightly dizzy, but I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. He stayed quiet as he listened to me rant, nodding his head and taking in every single word I said. I felt bad after a while and stopped, suddenly conscious of who I was talking to.

"I... Sorry I'm bothering you with all this ," He quickly shook his head, his gaze soft and understanding.

"Nah, it's okay. That guy sounds like a grade-A ," He offered, his hands suddenly reaching behind him and taking out his laptop. I watched as placed it on the table and opened the screen, starting it up, "If it makes you feel better, you can continue to rant."

It warmed me how he was concerned about my mood, and how he was trying to cheer me up. I couldn't help but gaze at him, his eyes concentrated on his screen, typing something on his keyboard. He probably felt me staring as he looked up, flashing me a smile once he caught my eye, which left my insides feeling like mush. There was something about Yoongi, something that made my heart skip and my stomach tangle in nervous knots.

"...Why can't more guys be like you?" I murmured unconsciously, but it was enough to catch his attention again. He looked up from his work as my face set on fire, not believing I had said that out loud. Could I be anymore embarrassing?

"Did you say something?"

I shook my head frantically, giving him a nervous smile, "No, no, I um... Did you know that there are over 400 million dogs in the world?"

There was a pause, my brain processing what I just said. I buried my face in my hands, wanting the ground to open up and swallow me whole.

A deep chuckle broke the silence, soon turning into a fit of laughter. I peeked through my fingers, watching Yoongi laugh openly, his eyes turning into crescents and his gums showing.

"Wow, you're really weird," He gasped out, having finally caught his breath. But the smile never leaving his face, "But that's cute."

, this guy was out to get my heart. I tried to remain as calm as possible, but my heart had other plans, suddenly thumping wildly in my chest. 

"I um... thanks. You too-" I blurted out, but quickly realized what I had said and bit my cheek, "I mean I, um- you don't usually come on Wednesdays."

He seemed quite entertained by my reactions, a teasing glint in his eyes as he plugged in his headphones to his laptop.

"I wanted you to hear another one of my compositions. I made it after our talk the other day," He explained, placing the headphones carefully over my ears. My eyes widened, and I nodded my head slowly, listening to the smooth song playing into my ear.

Unlike last time, this tune was more gentle on the ear, the overall tone more brighter and happy. The lyrics still held a deep meaning, although now they spoke of a bright future and happy memories. I felt myself unconsciously smile, listening closely to the song. If my mood wasn't better before, it definitely was now. I didn't notice Yoongi gauging my reaction, a satisfied smile adorning his lips upon seeing me smile. 

"So?" Yoongi asked after the song was done, looking at me uncertainly, "How was it?"

"It was really beautiful," I gave him a warm smile, giggling slightly at the way he brightened up, "The lyrics are a little simpler this time around, but they're still really passionate and meaningful. The melody was really soothing to the ears, and- is it weird if I feel a lot better now?"

He shook his head, looking satisfied with his work, "Not at all. Glad you liked it."

We chatted aimlessly after that, with no particular topic in mind. I learned that he was a year older than I was, and was recently hired by a small company to compose songs. He usually didn't participate in the actual voicing in the songs, usually just in charge of writing the song and composing it. However, his rapping skills were amazing, and I told him so, showering him with praises. 

"Hey, give me your phone," I quirked an eyebrow upwards in confusion, but handed my phone to him anyway. He swiftly tapped on the screen of my phone and soon handed it back to me.

I looked at my screen, and my eyes widened upon seeing a new number saved in my contacts under the name "Suga."

"Who...?"

"That's my music name, the name I use when I compose a song. Not many people call me by my real name."

I giggled, shaking my head, "For a guy who always drinks americanos, your name sure is sweet."

He rolled his eyes at my teasing and looked away, a bit embarrassed, "My friends gave me that nickname. Blame them."

I snorted at that, quickly changing his contact name to "Yoongi." I insisted on calling him by his real name, probably because I was so used to calling him so, and he shrugged, not really caring at all. 

"If it's okay with you... can I send you my songs?" He started, looking a bit nervous. He played with his fringe, tugging and pulling at it, "I really do need critique on my work, and you seem perfectly capable to do so."

I stared at him, feeling taken aback by his words. But soon, I felt a sense of happiness wash over me, and I nodded my head enthusiastically.

"Yeah, of course! Anytime."

I again ignored the pounding of my heart and the tangles in my stomach as he smiled at me. As much as I tried to deny it, I had developed something for Yoongi; perhaps it was a crush, or just plain infatuation. But at that moment, I was glad that we could finally call each other "friends."

"Two caramel lattes!"

"Coming right up!"

Careful as to not spill anything, I quickly prepared the two drinks, making sure I drizzled extra caramel on the whip cream as requested. I turned around with a smile and placed the two drinks on a tray, handing them to the customer. She smiled back at me and shuffled her way to the back of the cafe, where her friend was waiting.

My smile dropped and I sighed, counting to ten slowly in my head. Today was a very hectic day at work, more so than usual. Probably because of the heavy snowfall that was falling over the city at this very moment. I took a peek outside through the windows, my eyes landing on pristine white snow covering everything in its path. My gaze wandered to the line that was never ending in front of the cashier and sighed again, slapping my cheeks with the palms of my hands. I was tired, to be honest, but my break was about to start soon, so I had to focus as best as I could for the remaining time.

"Two cappuccinos, please."

"Got it," I yelled over my shoulder, quickly grabbing two empty cups and heading towards the espresso machine. As I waited for the coffee to fill the cup, I prepared the milk foam and thought about what to make. Taking a quick glance at the customers who had ordered it, my eyes drifted to their interlocked hands and smiled.

I titled the cup and poured the milk foam slowly onto the coffee, making sure to not pour it too fast. I grabbed a toothpick and made heart shape on each of the cups, stepping back and admiring my work. Satisfied with my work, I handed the two drinks to the couple, whose eyes crinkled in delight upon seeing the hearts in their cups.

"Have a nice day," I smiled warmly at them, feeling a sense of pride at my work. Over a year ago, I wasn't able to make a beautiful cappuccino; but here I was now, known by the regulars of the cafe as the cappuccino master.

"An americano and a caramel latte, to go!"

An americano? That was rare. It was almost five, and most people didn't order americanos this late. I craned to see who had ordered the drink, squinting my eyes slightly.

I almost choked on my spit upon realizing it was Yoongi, clad in a thick scarf and a beanie, shivering slightly from the cold draft coming in whenever someone opened the door. His whole face was buried in his scarf, save for his eyes, which soon caught my stare and gazed back at me.

Well, this was awkward. I bit my lip and looked away quickly, busying myself by getting the necessary ingredients. I hadn't spoken to him since the time he was at my apartment, where he suddenly confessed that he wanted to get back together.

I wasn't sure what to make of our situation, really. We were "friends," but he wanted to be something more. But I was too afraid, afraid of getting hurt again. The pain I had gone through was too much, and I wasn't even sure if he was speaking the truth. I hated doubting him, having trusted him for so long, but I couldn't help the feeling that sprung up whenever I thought about his words. 

And I had to admit, I was still hurt from his confession. How could he have possibly believed that I would be happy without him? What even gave him the idea? But most of all, why didn't he confide in me so we could have worked something out? Did he not believe in me?

"Hey," I jumped as someone tapped me on the shoulder, almost spilling the drink in my hand. My manager gave me a quizzical look, his eyebrows knitting together, "You okay?"

I nodded my head quickly, placing the half finished drink down. 

"Alright, well you can take your break after you're done with this order," I nodded my head again and bowed to him, thanking him for his hard work. He gave me a pat on the shoulder, whispering into my ear, "Also, tell Suga I said hi. I haven't seen him in a while."

I blinked, watching him walk towards the back door, heading for his office. , I forgot that my manager knew we were dating, and didn't know that we had broken up. Did he give me my break early on purpose?

I finally finished both drinks and turned around hesitantly, my eyes roaming the cafe until they landed on Yoongi, sitting at a table near the corner of the cafe. I made my way over to him quietly, biting my lip nervously.

"H-hey," I squeaked out, placing the drinks on the table. He looked up from his phone, his eyes widening slightly upon seeing me, but soon went back to a blank look.

"Hey," He said, reaching for his cup and taking a sip. He pushed the other cup towards me and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, until I realized it was for me.

"Oh, um, thanks," I murmured, sipping at the sweet drink in my hand. This was familiar, having found ourselves in this scenario many times before we started dating. I smiled slightly at that thought, taking another sip of my warm drink.

"So... how's work been?" I asked, my brain having come to a halt about what to say. He hummed quietly, sipping his own drink and cringing slightly as the hot liquid burned his tongue. I found myself giggling slightly, shaking my head. Would he ever learn?

"Okay, I guess," He leaned against the wall, releasing a small sigh. His eyes caught me giggling and softened considerably, "I've been more tired than usual lately though, which is why I came to grab a drink."

"Oh," I nodded in understanding, racking my brain for something to say, "Don't... Don't work too hard, okay? It's bad for your health."

He continued to gaze at me, his lip forming into a thin line, "Yeah, I know. Jin hyung has been nagging me a lot more lately."

I chuckled at that, imagining Yoongi sitting on his studio chair, looking bored and uninterested as Jin scolded him for not eating again. I was glad Jin was there to look out for him, not wanting anything to happen to his health.

"What about you? Any progress on your book?" I was taken aback by his question, almost dropping the drink in my hand. I sputtered slightly, quickly grabbing a napkin and wiping my mouth.

"No, not particularly. I haven't found the right inspiration yet," I admitted, a bit ashamed. I already graduated college a few months back, but I still had no idea on what to write about. He nodded in understanding, his gaze still soft, making me feel slightly better, for some odd reason. The song playing inside the cafe changed just then, suddenly playing a very familiar song.

Wait a minute, isn't this...

"Hey, isn't this one of your compositions, Yoongi?" I asked him, listening carefully to the melody. The singer's voice blended very well with the tempo and the beats, and I smiled, singing along slightly underneath my breath, "I always really liked this one."

He looked off to the side, his hand coming up to cover his suddenly red cheeks. Something told me they weren't red because of the cold, "Yeah, it is."

His gaze drifted from the side to my face, lingering there for a second before sliding to his drink, "It was actually... inspired by you."

I couldn't help the widening of my eyes, nor the fluttering in my heart upon hearing his words. He had casually sent me the song one day when we were still dating, asking me to listen to it. I had done as I was told, and immediately fell in love with the lyrics and the overall tone of the song. This song in particular always made me feel warm inside, like I was being comforted and protected.

"I, um..." I suddenly felt really uncomfortable, a mixture of flustered and flattered. To be honest, I was at a loss for words. He seemed to notice my discomfort, and sighed, getting up from his seat.

"I... actually have to head back now. I promised Jungkook I would help him with his composition today," His voice was quiet, his eyes lingering on my face for a brief moment before looking away.

As he left through the cafe door, I sighed, feeling relieved and slightly disappointed. Why didn't I just admit that things would never be the same between the two of us? Even being friends was tough, everything being brought up a little too personal. 

I was broken from my train of thought by the vibration of my phone in my pocket. I took it out and slid the my finger across the screen, checking my notifications.

From: Unknown

Hey it's Youngjae! I got your number from Jihyun

I know we just met but are you free this Friday?

"But as time went by,
those feelings went down like dripping down espresso
My insides ache for no reason, we used to be so good
Breaking up was like a bitter americano
My memories still go to that cafe."

okay so. I guess I should start off with the fact that I'm really sorry for not updating for almost a month. I mentioned in previous chapters that updates would be infrequent once I started getting busy, and well, it's that time. I really try my best to type at least some of the chapter everyday, but it's pretty hard with the constant studying and writing essays and filling out college applications and such. So again, sorry for such a long wait ;-; Hopefully the length of the chapter makes up for it.

also, if this chapter seems kinda lack luster to you and doesn't live up to your expectations, believe me, I think so too. I feel like I've hit a slump with my writing, if that makes sense; It could be writer's block, or maybe I'm unconsciously trying to change the style of my writing, who knows. Hopefully I get over this strange phase and actually like what I write again haha ;;

Again, I can't thank you all enough for your support *bows deeply* some of you leave comments that really do brighten up my day ; u ; so thank you, again and again! Until next time~

oh yeah, and I also used a bts song again. yay