"I am tired of this place, I hope people change
I need time to replace what I gave away
And my hopes, they are high, I must keep them small
Though I try to resist I still want it all."

—Troye Sivan "Fools"

"Is... is he okay?" I tried to remain as calm as possible, but I could already hear the crack and quiver in my voice.

I shouldn't be this affected. I had drawn a fine line between us, our relationship, everything, so this shouldn't be affecting me so much. Yet, I couldn't deny the aching feeling in my chest, the way my hands shook holding up my phone to my ear.

Taehyung remained quiet for a few seconds, the silence doing nothing to ease my mind at all. My heart started beating faster and faster, to the point that I was starting to hear it pounding in my ear.

"Hyung fainted yesterday," My breath got caught in my throat, and my eyes widened in surprise.

Hearing no further sound from me, he continued, "According to Hoseok hyung, their company recently got a new CEO, so there's been a lot more work than usual. Yoongi's been working his off day and night, not eating or sleeping properly. Namjoon hyung told him to take it easy, but Yoongi wouldn't have any of it. Even Seokjin hyung couldn't do anything."

My mind flashed back to the time I saw Yoongi at the cafe. Suddenly, the bags underneath his eyes became more apparent, the slouch of his shoulders more prominent. The way he barely sipped at his coffee the entire conversation, his figure leaning against the wall to support himself. So tired and drained, yet never stopping. 

The signs were clealy there, yet I didn't do anything to stop his reckless behavior. The sudden guilt tore at me painfully, and I curled up in my bed, tightening the grip on my phone.

"Yesterday, when he was helping Jungkook with his song, he suddenly collapsed right in the middle of recording. Jungkook called Seokjin hyung, and he was rushed to the clinic. He's being treated for fatigue and malnutrition right now."

No words were exchanged between us after Taehyung finished. I was too shocked, already imagining Yoongi's body falling limp onto the floor.

That stupid idiot.

"Why is he always like this?" I mumbled underneath my breath, more to myself than to Taehyung, but I was certain he heard it, "Always overworking himself, not eating or sleeping. Is he trying to make us all worry for the rest of our lives?"

"Always doing what he thinks is best without so much of a second thought," Frustrated tears stung the back of my eyes, but I refused to cry. At least, not with Taehyung still on the phone.

"Hyung is pretty selfish, isn't he?" I heard Taehyung chuckle bitterly over the line, "But at the same time, he's selfless. So selfless to the point that he ignores his own feelings and spends all his time worrying about others. Jungkook kept telling him that he didn't have to help him with his song if he was so busy, but Yoongi insisted anyway, helping him out whenever he could. He has a big heart."

I let out a quiet laugh, "Yeah, that sounds like the Min Yoongi I know."

Suddenly, I heard a gasp through the line, followed by what sounded like Taehyung snapping his fingers, "Oh, I almost forgot! The whole reason I called you."

The corners of my lips quirked up into a tiny smile upon hearing Taehyung call himself dumb and blabbering apologies left and right ("Aish, why are you always like this Taehyung-ah? This is why Namjoonie doesn't trust you with anything," I heard him mumble to himself. Such a cute, dorky kid.) 

"So Yoongi hyung is to be discharged tomorrow morning, with specific instructions for him to rest well and to take a few days off from work. The thing is, hyung's been staying with Hoseok hyung for the past week because his apartment building closed down temporarily to fix some pipes or something. However I- well we, decided that it is in Yoongi hyung's best interest to stay with you."

"...Huh?" I rolled around in my bed until I was facing the cieling, my mind suddenly blank, "Did you just say..."

"That Yoongi hyung should stay with you because he doesn't listen to any of us if we tell him to rest, but we all know he has a soft spot for you so he can't refuse? Well no, but I'm saying it now."

"Wha- but I- wait a minute-" I tripped over my words, having finally processed Taehyung's words, "Yoongi, stay with me?"

"Yes noona! I'm glad you finally understand. We would really really appreciate it if you could-"

"I-I don't know, Taehyung," I interrupted him, running a hand through my hair nervously, "Of course I want him to get better but I- you know how it is between us right now. And what makes you think he would listen to me if he didn't listen to Seokjin oppa?"

The line remained quiet, and I checked the screen of my phone to make sure I hadn't hung up by accident. Seeing the call hadn't ended yet, I pressed the device against my ear, straining to hear anything.

"Tae?"

I heard a click of a tongue, followed by a deep sigh.

"Aish, not you too," I knit my eyebrows together in confusion, opening my mouth to question him but was cut off by a soft chuckle.

"Noona, you and I both know that Yoongi hyung would fly to the moon and back if it meant seeing you happy."

I couldn't help the flushing of my cheeks at his words, my mouth opening up to deny his statement, "That- That's not-"

"Don't even try to deny it. You may think otherwise, but believe me when I say that Yoongi hyung really cares about you."

"He... I've seen with my own two eyes how letting you go tore him apart. He made a huge mistake letting you go, and I'm not one to say this because I don't want to into your business but... Don't you think he deserves a second chance?"

I was speechless. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't get any words out of my mouth to reject what he was saying. Taehyung sounded so serious and genuine, something so rare and unusual from his joking, playful self, that I found myself having faith in his words. And if anything, the uneasiness in my heart settled considerably upon finally getting a confirmation of Yoongi's feelings.

So he wasn't lying afterall?

Still, there was doubt and uncertainty that I couldn't shake off, no matter what he said.

"Please noona," He was pleading at this point, my quietness making him nervous, "If not a second chance, at least take care of him for now. You know how he always bottles up his feelings, taking all the burden for himself. We hate seeing him suffer like this and I-"

"...Alright."

"-I'm so worried, that I can't- Wait, what?"

"I said alright," I huffed, screaming at myself internally for giving in so easily. Taehyung always had a way of guilt tripping me, and the desperation in his voice finally made me crack, "I'll let him stay in my apartment until he feels better."

A loud whoop sounded in the background, followed by a cheerful laugh, "Oh my God, thank you noona, thank you! Don't worry, it'll only be temporary! I'll be at your apartment tomorrow morning with Jiminie to drop off his stuff. Yoongi hyung should be coming around noon."

I felt myself smiling at the giddyness in his voice. At least someone was happy, "Yeah, that's fine. I have the night shift tomorrow anyway."

"Great! Well, see you tomorrow. Night noona! And thanks again!"

"Night, Tae."

I buried my face in my pillow and groaned after hanging up. What have I gotten myself into?

"And here's the bed!"

"...Isn't that your bed?"

"Um, yeah. I figured that it would be rude to have you sleep on the floor, so you can have my bed for now," I scratched the back of my head, letting out a nervous chuckle. 

"And where will you sleep?" I avoided making eye contact with Yoongi, instead opting to stare at the wooden flooring of my room, "Don't tell me you're going to sleep on the futon."

"Well, yeah, that was the plan," I let out another chuckle, twidling my fingers together, "The futon isn't that bad, really, I'll be fine-"

A loud thud interrupted me, causing me to finally look up and zero in on Yoongi's figure that had plopped down onto the futon.

"You can take the bed. I prefer the floor," He mumbled from his position on the floor, and my eyes finally made contact with his as he looked up, studying me carefully. It was hard to read his expression, but he definitely seemed cranky and disgruntled, to say the least.

As promised, Taehyung and Jimin had arrived bright and early, but to my surprise, with Yoongi in tow. Observing him, I couldn't help but notice how prominent his cheek bones were compared to when I had last seen them, and how a permanent scowl was set on his face. He did not look amused in the slightest, shooting death glares at his friends everytime they pulled on his arm and tried to lighten up his mood.

"We woke him up," was all Taehyung whispered into my ear as Yoongi yanked off Jimin's arm that was slung around his neck, causing the younger to yelp like a kicked puppy.

If there is one thing I've learned about Min Yoongi these past few years, is that once he is asleep, do not wake him up, or you may never see the light of day again. Well, at least that was the case for his close circle of friends. 

"Oh and he still can't believe that we called you up. I think his pride is hurt," I nodded slowly, watching Jimin run behind me and use me as a shield, whining that Yoongi always picked on him. Poor kid.

Going back to my current situation, I sighed silently, wondering how I found myself in such an awkward position already. I squirmed uncomfortably under his gaze and quickly averted my eyes, promptly turning around and pointing to a random spot in my room.

"Y-you can put your things over there," I managed to get out, yelling at myself internally for stuttering. I quickly made my way to the doorway, coughing nervously, "You can make yourself comfortable while I-"

"Hey."

I stopped in my tracks, letting go of the doorknob of my door, but refused to turn around. His voice came out low, a little raspy, but there was a certain firmness to it.

"You don't have to force yourself to do this. If you feel uncomfortable, just say the word. I'll just stay with Hoseok again."

I let his words set in before taking a deep breath and turning around, facing him again. I couldn't help but meet his eyes, my whole mouth suddenly feeling dry, words caught in my throat upon seeing him look at me sympathetically, but at the same time, hurt. I could tell he was trying his best to hide it by the way he quickly looked away and started tugging at his fringe.

"...No, that's not it," Before I knew it, I was slowly stepping in his direction, my hands clutching the sides of my cardigan, as if it could give me strength, somehow, "I... I may be uncomfortable. Hell, I'm so nervous right now, my hands are shaking," I let out a tiny laugh, but Yoongi remained stoic, twirling strands of his hair between his fingers. my lips, I continued.

"But ...if it means you can recover, then I'll set it all aside. If what Taehyung said is true, and you won't listen to them... at least listen to me. I want you to rest, I want you to eat and get proper sleep, and to take it easy. I don't want you sacrificing your health just because of work again."

I soon found myself sitting on the futon, right next to Yoongi. He finally stopped playing with his hair to stare at me, eyes wide with surprise. I stared at my knees, a little afraid of saying something wrong, something that would set him off, but I had to finish.

"You're an idiot, you know. You're so stubborn and quiet, expecting us to catch all your stupid ing ques that you're slowly breaking apart, and you don't tell anyone, not even when you finally do break and end up collapsing on the goddamn floor. You're so stupid, I swear I-"

I was cut off as Yoongi placed his hand behind my head and pulled me forward, my face landing on his shoulder. The scent of his cologne soon filled my nostrils, and I took in the feeling of the soft material of his sweater.

"I'm sorry," He mumbled quietly, his fingers through my hair gently in a comforting way. Instinctively, I leaned into his touch, every touch of his fingertips on my scalp sending shivers down my spine, "For making you worry so much. And for making you cry."

I blinked, finally realizing the dampness of his sweater and my cheeks. When had I started crying?

"You-you," I managed out before burying my face in his shoulder again, letting out a shaky breath, "I- we were so worried! You know how shocked I was when Taehyung called me yesterday? Hearing that you fainted..."

"You never take care of yourself! You never worry about how your actions affect others... especially me," I mumbled the last part to myself, but by the way Yoongi wrapped his free arm around my torso, I knew that he had heard me. 

"I know music is important to you, but please... that's no reason to throw away your well being. Can't you take it easy... please?"

We stayed like that for a while, my voice lowering until it became a mere mumble against his sweater. The whole time, Yoongi my hair and held me securely in his embrace, whispering apologies softly into my ear.

This level of intimacy between us... was wrong. I wasn't his, and he wasn't mine. Yet, I couldn't gather my thoughts and feelings together enough to pull away, away from his arms and his eyes that made me feel guilty. Guilty for not noticing how bad his condition had become, and for, in a way, taking advantage of his feelings.

If those feelings still remained. 

I finally pulled away, rubbing my eyes with the sleeves of my cardigan. I tried my best to glare at him, but failed miserably upon seeing the soft look in his eyes.

"You better behave this time, Min Yoongi," I got up, my legs feeling a little shaky from being in an uncomfortable position for a long time, but I ignored it. This was all too much already, "Now sleep. I'll wake you up when I'm done preparing the porridge."

"You're cooking?" His eyebrows rose, either because he was impressed or amused. Probably the latter, as my eyes didn't miss the way he tried to hold back a smirk, but the tiniest movement at the corner of his lips gave him away, "Do you need my help-"

"I looked up some recipes online, and I called my mom about it. I'll be fine," As I spoke, I could feel a hot red blush adorn my cheeks, my ears probably the same shade, "Just go to sleep already."

"Making me cook, I swear..." I muttered to myself, but it was loud enough for Yoongi to hear it. I heard an amused chuckle behind me.

Why did he have to remembr that stupid lunch I made for him?

"Sorry about that," Even without turning around, I could practically tell that he was grinning, "I look forward to it."

Finally closing the door behind me, I let out a loud sigh. I slapped my hands on my cheeks, murmuring profanities underneath my breath. My heart beat at an erratic pace; no matter how many breaths I took, it didn't slow down.

"Stupid Yoongi."

I split the chapter into two parts cuz it really got way way way too long, and I thought it would make better sense that way anyway;; (so yeah, this is a double update :^)) a treat to everyone for being so patient and for waiting so long!!)

ill talk more about other stuff next chapter haha

bUT I FINALLY FINISHED SUBMITTING MY COLLEGE APPLICATOINS !!! *jhope scream in the distance* 

also while I was writing this chapter, RapMon and Jungkook just happen to release a cover and I think I legit started crying alfjsldf :') I linked the cover, so please check it out!! Like always, Jungkook's voice is !!!!1!!!! amazing and Rap Mon singing sounds really nice!!