*Mean’s POV*

I waved back to Kim who looked a bit drunk due to alcohol that we gulp that night, then get in to his car. Fern still smoking beside me, sitting behind the wheel calmly and did not seem drunk even once. We have just celebrated Fer enangament with her boyfriend, Mario.

Fern is a my good friend in London. Time run so fast, it’s already two years have passed since we all graduated from high school. I went to college in Art major upon the recommendation of my father’s friend in London, while Kim follow me  here even though he take different major.

Maybe, we both think London as the perfect place to forget what happened on high school, but I think ... in fact I was the one who was running away.

"Kim seems a little strained." Fern opened the conversation.

"He's just a little tipsy." I gave a reason.

Fern puffed on her cigarette. "No, I mean, he seems like he has a lot in mind."

Now, turn to sigh. She knew a whole story of me, Kim, and Pie in high school, I share that story to her. "To be honest." I admit to Fern, "I don’t think he still loves me."

“You mean he’s still in love with that girl, what’s her name... Pie?”

When Fern say that name, it make me uncomfortable. Until now, I and Pie lost contact. When graduation day, I came home before she had time to speak with me. I avoid her, again and again, like running in circles. And now, I feel confuse to answer Fern’s questions.

"I’ve give him everything I have, Fern. Do you have any idea how I feels? "

Fern silent now, continue driving. When stopped at a red light, she turned to me and asked, "Do you ever regret it?"

"Regret?" I asked back, then shook her head. "Of course not."

Fern smiling. "Then why are you acting as if you're a victim"

I paused, trying to describe her sentence.

"When you make-decisions, you deal with consequences. You give everything to Kim sincerely, so do not expect reciprocal. Don’t blame it on him. Don’t expect anything in return. "

"But, Fern, I guess I just can’t live without him." I covering my face with hand, tryin to flashback and remembered about Kim and Pie. Whether in fact they are the victims? Victims of my selfish who try to to tied Kim with every way, just because I want he stay beside me?

Fern push the honk once. "Being able to live with or without someone is just a matter of perspective," she said wisely, and again I’m shocked.

"So, if you and Mario break up now, is it going to be alright for you?" I wonder.

Fern touched my arm with her cold fingertips. "Mean, as women, we need to protect ourselves from getting hurt. But sometimes hurt is inevitable that we just have to deal with it. "

This time, Fern not continue her word, let me drown in the thousand and one unified mind. Actually, during this time, I struggled to whose happiness? Kim’s happiness, or my own happiness?

*PIE’s POV*

I pick up my handphone that always ringing, a lil hurry while typing my tasks for tomorrow's class. It's nearly ten o'clock at night, and the task still far from finish.

"Hello?"

No answer.

"Hello?" I repeated, getting impatient.

"Pie?"

I almost dropped the phone, with surprise. The sound that was already long time I didn’t heard, but still I knew well.

"Mean?"

"Yes!" The voice was cheerful. Happy. "How are you?"

"... Well," I said, stumbling.

Silence. On the other end, Mean sounded like she is biting the tip of a pencil, her old habit when she nervous, as if she was sorry for calling. Finally, she spoke again.

"I heard that now you are almost become doctor, Pie?"

"Yes," I replied, as nervous. "Mike, too."

"Oh."

It has been two years since high school graduation. I and Mike entered medical major in college; we both equipped with a full scholarship for a near-perfect score. Now, we often went to college together, doing tasks together, such as a close friend.

I've rarely met with Nongh, but this lovely guy is choose to entering Industrial Engineering major at different university. Sometimes, we both were visit our old school just to eat fried bananas and drink iced chocolate.

I've never again see Mean and Kim since graduation day, and when I finally encouraging to visit Mean’s house, Mean’s Mom told that Mean already moved to London. Until now I still regret not visited her earlier, to apologize.

She said, Mean has gone to London, entered the university there to learn the art of painting. Kim, who followed her, reportedly is studying in business major.

Is now he still played basketball?

"How about study at London, Mean? Is it great live movie?" I opened the conversation.

Mean sigh. "Not easy. I entered fourth semester, and we all have to make paintings for the exhibition early next year, the results are assessed as well. "

I smiled, misses with Mean which usually tells endlessly. "You sound happy."

Mean not answer, as if she knew there is something that I want to ask. "Kim alright, he is fine as always. if that's what you want to ask," she said.

I was silent. Remembering the incident two years ago, a decision that ultimately makes Mean and Kim moved to London without looking back again.

"You still love Kim, Pie?"

I laughed nervously, instantly forgetting a task that is still dormant. "After two years passed, Mean, you call me far away from London just for asking this lame question?"

"I call you to apologize."

I massaged my forehead, suddenly feeling very tired. "I’m the one wrong, Mean."

"I'm sorry ... cause I’m running away from you, from the fact, and from the truth.”

"That my fault" I repeated again.

"Why that time you didn’t say you love him? Why you have to lie?"

"Because you are my bestfriend, Mean. I'm willing to lose the other, than I have to lose you. "

At the end of the phone, I hear Mean couldn’t hold back the tears that fell. My heart ached to hear her sobs. Remembering everything that has happened; even after two years of pain that still I feel. Why after all gone, my heart is still hurt?

"You know why I get angry? I'm angry because you are not honest to me." Mean continued hoarsely. "I'm disappointed. Even until now you never want to say the truth, what do you feel .... "

"I can’t."

"Kim still love you." Finally, Mean said. "He will return to Bangkok on Thursday. He arrived at the airport at seven in the morning. If you still love him, please meet him. Say everything you want to say .. which never you