Amber's POV

 

I remember saying once that no matter how much I liked a girl, that no matter how much how much I desired her, I will never stoop as low as to chase after a girl that was already taken, because that was in my eyes awfully tactless and disrespectful.

 

This was the day that I realized that I had broken that rule of mine even in the literal sense.

 

My heavy footsteps hitting the pavement at an irregular pace coupled with the sounds of me desperately grasping for air were the only things that could be heard in this quiet, neighbourhood  full of houses that were likely still sound a asleep.

 

“KRYS…. hey…. WAIT UP…. I…. ugh…” 

 

My breath wheezed and I regretted how I underestimated Krystal’s stamina. The Jung’s were inherently lazy creatures and only budged when either provoked or if they absolutely had to, and even then that was determined by the circumstance. However, when it came down to it they were actual superhuman monsters when they barely even try. It might be due to the because of all that inactivity that probably was them charging up their batteries for when it needed to be used. 

 

The fact that Krystal was about three houses ahead of me said something about this inhuman stamina. 

 

This was ridiculous. I’m an athlete for Christ’s sake!

 

I it up and picked up my pace so that I could at least be close enough to get her attention. It didn’t help that I could hear her music blasting from her earphones all the way from here. 

When I finally caught up to her I touched her shoulder and prayed that she didn’t drop kick me for startling her. 

 

When she jerked her head to the side in surprise, she regarded me with a face that almost had me burst out laughing.

 

I straightened up in an attempt to seem that I hadn’t dragged myself out of bed in a crying mess to come jog with her. On cue, I felt a little tear build up just at the thought of my bed all lonely and warm, calling out my name for me to return to her. Sorry baby, Krystal’s priority right now.

 

“Who are you and what have you done to Amber?” She asked, well shouted because she still had her earphones in. Her face was dumfounded as she studied me from head to toe.

 

I pulled an earphone out, “You’re not dreaming. I might still be though, my body’s still not used to functioning normally this early.”

 

“You’re actually awake at this hour. To go jogging?” She asked, completely stunned.

 

“To go jogging with you.” I corrected her.

 

“With me, huh. You’re barely keeping up and I can see tears coming out of your eyes.” She smirked a little, but I could tell that she was proud. Happy, even.

 

“They are tears of a champion. Only a hero who’s won a battle will understand this gratifying feeling.” I answered her valiantly. 

 

She started poking me on the ribs.

 

I giggled shortly like a little schoolgirl before composing myself.

 

“Why’d you do that? Tickles.” I mumbled.

 

“Just confirming that you’re not a hologram of the real Amber who’s projecting you from her bedroom.” She said before turning her head back front.

 

“Aren’t you gonna congratulate me? Or throw me a party at least? You know how fond I am of instant gratification.”

 

“For what? Deciding to stalk me not only in school but also in the one hour in a day where I get some ‘me’ time?”

 

“I’m sorry, I’m not familiar with that term. ‘Me’ time you say? Is that some sort of noodle festival that I am sorely missing out on because if that is so I would be absolutely down to-”

 

“Is that all that you ever do with your mouth? Talk? Besides devouring massive amounts of food that is.” 

 

“Not true. I use them for kissing beautiful women. You would know that.” Even I started to blush at my words.

 

Krystal’s face was beet red and she hid it by running faster ahead.

 

“Go home, Amber.” She growled and quickly put her earphones back on.

 

“I can’t. I’m in love.” I said and grinned like an idiot, looking a lot like a puppy chasing after it’s master.

 

---

 

 

“Amber. There’s a basketball shaped hole in the ground. Stop. Amber.” 

 

The ball in my hand was taken away and I directed the already present glare towards the thief.

 

“That’s my ball.”

 

Sulli rolled her eyes, “Yes, your ball that you were trying to drill a hole to China with. Can you let up with that face at least?”

 

“What face?” I scowled, proving her point.

 

“What is up with you? You’ve got crazy eyes, your hair’s messier than the White House, and you look like you haven’t eaten all day.” She asked concernedly.

 

“That’s because I haven’t.” I yawned, not forgetting the reason why I was so tired today. It was totally worth it.

 

“Can you also explain to me why you’ve been grumbling to yourself for the past ten minutes?”

 

“You lost me.” I shrugged innocently and pulled my arm over my head in a stretch.

 

Sulli looked over to the bleachers thoughtfully.

 

“Is it because Kai and Krystal are each others faces on the bleachers?”

 

“THEY’RE WHAT?” I whipped my head so hard in their direction and saw that they were just watching something together on Krystal’s smartphone.

 

My heart was clenching so tight and I had to will myself to calm down at the false alarm. I could’ve actually tackled the person that I called my own Hyung if not for the fact that that would definitely draw suspicion from her. I made sure to keep my behaviour in check whenever I was around others and I was almost completely certain that I was doing a good of it. I couldn’t let her know of my secret.

 

“I know your secret.”

 

DAMN YOU.

 

“What se-”

 

“Don’t even attempt to bull your way around this. I know and I’ve known for awhile now.”

 

“How long?” I questioned.

 

“I should be asking you that question. How long have you been in love with the princess?”

 

I sputtered, “I didn’t say I was in love with her!”

 

“You didn’t say anything really. I called your bull out is what I did. Now stop denying me my answers and spill.” She crossed her arms, looking expectantly at me.

 

Sulli was either Hyung or momma bear to me. Now, unfortunately, was the latter and like she said, I couldn’t lie my way through this. I thought about it about it and realized that I didn’t even want to. I was only saving my advances to her for when she and I were alone out of the respect I have for Krystal and her privacy. I would be damned if Krystal got dragged into the public’s attention just like how every single one of my relationships have. It was a harsh truth, but she deserves a lot more than what I ever gave my other relationships. 

 

“Fine.” I looked up to where Krystal was, pettily checking to see that they were still keeping things way below PG, “I’m in love with Krystal Jung. Been in love with her since forever, but I guess, I only realized it a few weeks ago.” 

 

“WHAT?” Luna screamed beside me, hitting a newly discovered high note I was sure. 

 

I jumped out of my shorts at her scream, eyes wide, “You were NOT supposed to hear that! Where did you even come from!” 

 

“I told you Luna, you never believe anything I say.” Jackson appeared on my other side. 

 

I whipped my head (for what felt like the tenth time today) in his direction.

 

“You… agh….no.” I pointed at him scoldingly, for what reason I was unclear. I was just very flustered right now.

 

Min squeezed in between Jackson and I, holding her hand up triumphantly.

 

“I knew all along too!”

 

“You…… WHAT?” Luna had the perfect mix of looking both highly confused and angry at the same time. 

 

My head started to hurt and I brought a hand up to my face.

 

“My question is, is why is it taking you dense humans so long to hook up already. You both clearly have been in love with each other for a long time an-”

 

“You know about her too?” I threw my hands up.

 

“I was her damn fairy Godmother when she first came out two years ago damnit who do you think taught her about the L word?” Sulli crossed her arms.

 

“You taught her about lesbians?” Amber asked incredulously.

 

“No, you idiot. I taught her about love.” Sulli said.

 

“You were fifteen years old what valuable insight could you have possibly had about love?” Amber scoffed.

 

“Excuse you but I think I would’ve been a better bet at teaching her about love than you at the time. You, who just starting date, oblivious to the one person that could’ve given you everything.” Sulli countered, starting to get defensive.

 

"How the hell could I have known? Like I said, we were just fifteen. I barely even know the rules to the ‘L Word’ even at seventeen.”

 

“You could if you gave yourself a chance. You have a complex Amber. A complex in which do or die, you can’t get hurt. Especially the possibility of being rejected by someone your life revolves around.” Sulli said, voice shifting from an angered tone to something more reassuring.

 

“If I may, Amber?” Luna asked softly beside me.

 

Her face only showed sincerity and I nodded my head for her to continue.

 

“At this point, Krystal only needs one more thing to fully push her back in your direction.”

 

“Yeah I know committing to her and only her.”

 

“That too but most importantly, that you’re completely sure that you trust yourself before she could allow herself to do the same.”

 

“I don’t understand. I do trust myself.” I asked her with my brows knitted tightly.

 

“But are you doing this for her more than you are for yourself?”

 

“I… yes. I love her. I want to be with her.” I said confidently, still confused at where she was going with this.

 

Sulli cut in, “What Confuscious is trying say is we all know that you would do anything for Krystal above everyone else, including yourself. So what’s to say you’re so determined to pursue this relationship to make Krystal happy. I’m not denying that you’re not love with her, but the question is if you love to make her happy more than you are in love with her? That out of your own purely selfish, non-Krystal-pleasing bias, do you desire Krystal and everything that she is?”

 

Amber stood there, pondering their words, feeling her brain gradually melting into mush the further she thought about it.

 

“You guys are making this way too complicated. I know I love Krystal. I know I want to be with her.” I said earnestly. 

 

“Then make her believe that.” Sulli said. 

 

“I will.” I grunted, grabbing my basketball back from her and turned around to throw a shot.

 

Unfortunately, the force in which I threw it was a lot more aggressive than I intended and the ball hit the rebound. The most unfortunate part about this is that it rebounded in the direction of a student who was walking down from the bleachers, completely oblivious to the oncoming ball to his head as he was waving at his girlfriend on the bleachers. 

 

He turned around at just the wrong moment and it hit him square on the nose.

 

“Oh, .” I grimaced hard at the impact and felt so much pity for him in that moment. 

 

Been there once. Not something I would like to relive ever again if I could help it.

 

I jogged towards the man and ordered the few people around him to give him some space.

 

“. Kai. I’m so sorry! You probably should’ve looked where you were going though. It is the gym.” I murmured that last part inaudibly.

 

He didn’t answer and moaned in pain, holding onto his bloody nose.

 

“Kai!” Krystal’s voice was fueled with worry as she rushed towards us. 

 

“I didn’t mean to…. I’m sorry-”

 

“I saw everything Amber. You could have been more careful. What were you thinking? You hardly ever miss a shot.” She said angrily, pulling out sheets of tissue paper from her handbag.

 

“I said I was sorry….. it was an accident.” I said softly, unsure of how to respond to her when she’s like this. I’ve never seen her angry at me this way. Especially, not over someone else.

 

“Sure it was.” She said, just as softly. 

 

My chest tightened at that and my heartbeat sped up significantly.

 

“Krystal… you know I didn’t mean to hurt him. I would never hurt anyone.” I said, completely offended and hurt myself.

 

To think that she could believe that I would hurt another person so maliciously. It really struck a deep, unpleasant cord in me. She knows me better than I know myself. How could she ever think…..

 

“Can we not talk about this right now? I need to take him to the infirmary.” Her words were clipped. 

 

I watched, completely disheartened and speechless as Krystal walked Kai out of the gym.

 

---

 

"Hey man, sorry bout your face. Sorry bout your face? No that's stupid....... Hey Kai, I'm really sorry about what happened. I didn't mean to do it. Well, funny thing is that I actually sometimes do think about it. It'll usually be something much larger....... like a boulder...... or a fridge, but you wouldn't die. Just have that pretty face of yours marred for life never to be that pretty again what the hell am I doing." I sighed, staring wearily at the door in front of her.

 

Despite my commentary, I would never ever make even the slightest attempt at harming him. I felt nothing but guilt and sympathy that I couldn’t fathom the thought of disfiguring a person's face so permanently.

 

"Oh God. I hope it's still in the right place." I said, visibly shuddering at the image of it being anywhere else.

 

I rang the doorbell and waited patiently for about a minute before it opened.

 

My greeting and apology monologue stayed stuck in my throat.

 

“Amber? What are you doing here?” Krystal asked, still dressed in the clothes she was wearing at school.

 

“I uh…. came to give these to Kai,” I held up a gift bag, “There’s snacks and some books that I picked up after school. I’m not sure what he likes so I got a whole bunch.” I mumbled, scratching my head awkwardly. 

 

I didn’t even think to expect to see her Kai’s house. I didn’t expect to see her at all today or for awhile at least. 

 

The girl in front of me didn’t respond for awhile and when I looked up, I saw that she was looking down and fiddling with her fingers, looking just as awkward as I felt.

 

“I’m really sorry about just now.”

“Amber, I’m so sorry.”

 

We both said simultaneously and the awkwardness dissipated in that instant when we shared a small laugh.

 

She shook her head, “No, please. You don’t have to apologize anymore, and you definitely don’t have to apologize to me. I don’t know what came over me, I was really awful to you and you didn’t deserve that.” Her eyes were glossy and her words were nothing but earnest.

 

I wanted so much to bring her into my arms in that moment but she was right. I didn’t deserve the things she said and implied about me. She hurt me very much when she did that and I couldn’t let it go just yet.

 

“I’m not a violent person, you know that Krystal.”

 

“Of course you’re not! I’m so sorry I even let you believe that I thought you were for even a second. Amber…. you’re the kindest, most gentle and loving person I know. I wasn’t thinking when I said the things I did. I guess I’m just a little stressed out right now and I needed somebody to let it out on. But you’re the last person in the world that I should’ve done that too, let alone imply that you did something so horrid. I’m really sorry I-

 

I walked up to her before she could finish and embraced her. Her tears that were freely running down her cheeks started to soak into my shirt and I couldn’t bear to ask to be anywhere else in that moment. Her fingers dug into my skin and I held her tighter to me, rubbing soothing circles on her back. I hushed her every so often, kissing her head whenever her sobs picked back up. 

 

She stayed there, holding me close even when her tears dried. I wasn’t complaining in the least bit and relished in the feeling of just simply having her in my arms again. It’s been so long. It made my eyes sting at thinking of how these simple pleasures are so far in between now. How after I let her go, I wouldn’t know when the next moment will be when I get to hold her again.

 

“I’m sorry I got shirt your wet.” She murmured against my skin, igniting a series of pleasurable shock waves up my spine, “And it’s my favourite one of yours too.”

 

“Stop apologizing, princess. I forgave you ages ago. And don’t lie this isn’t your favourite shirt, you stole my/your favourite one a long time ago.” I stated accusingly. 

 

“Exactly. That shirt is my shirt now. So that makes this shirt my favourite shirt that you own.” She said as a matter of factly. 

 

“Your logic is that of a four year old. I can’t possibly compete.” I sighed, defeated and she laughed softly.

 

“It’s all that bleaching you do to your poor hair. Maybe if you stopped, your brain cells might start repairing itself into a normal functioning organ again.”

 

“I’m good. It’s still functioning enough to do this.” I started tickling her ribs.

 

She giggled and swatted my hands away. I regretted it instantly because she pulled away. The bag that was dropped and forgotten was rustled when Krystal moved and she looked down at it in slight surprise, as if suddenly remembering where she was.

 

I did too and my stomach feel at realizing that the younger girl was here at Kai’s house. In the evening. Probably fussing over his wounds like the concerned girlfriend she was.

 

“Are you…. were you still thinking of staying? I’m going home now so you can ride with me?” I din’t try to hide the hopefulness to my tone. 

 

She glanced at me and back to the bag, picking it up after moment of thought.

 

“I think I’ll stay for a little while more. Kai invited me to stay for dinner. I’ll be home after that though.” Krystal added after seeing the look on my face, “He’s in the shower now but I’ll let him know you stopped by. It was a very sweet thought. He’ll love the stuff you bought him, I’m sure of it.” She bit her lip, her eyes looking at me like she wanted to say something else.

 

 “It wasn’t a big deal. The least I can do.” I sent her a small smile, stalling to see if she would say anything else.

 

She didn’t though, and eventually we were returned to that permeated atmosphere of awkwardness that was very unfamiliar to the both of us. 

 

I wanted to leave before it turned uncomfortable so I started to move.

 

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow then. Goodnight princess.” I said and walked back to my car.

 

“Goodnight Amber. Drive safe.” She said and was about to close the door when I spoke again.

 

“Oh and promise me one thing?”

 

“Anything.”

 

My heart warmed and a huge smile appeared on my face at her answer. I decided to say something else.  

 

“You’ll try to save him at least a piece of candy before you finish the whole bag right?”

 

“Stupid.” 

 

She shut the door right after but I caught the grin on her face just before she did.

 

I drove home remembering the way she smiled and laughed with me today. 

 

Granted, she was crying before that, but at least for the first time in what feels like forever ago, I was able to make her smile. 

 

---

 

A/N : I’m sorry this took so long….. again. Don’t give up on me. I WILL FINISH THIS. 

 

You know the drill, feedback makes me insides tingle and my fingers moving.……Wow, did that sound super creepy or what? I’m high on life and caffeine. Mostly caffeine so excuse me. I reckon there’s about seven chapters left. I plan to finish it before the next ice age so that’s a heads up. As always, thank you for reading and bearing with my late . Till next time!