Author’s POV

 

 

 

 

 

The atmosphere was festive, the crowd a boisterous and colorful disarray of mostly red and white. 

 

 

The bleachers were packed with friends and family of the opposing and home team, all eagerly awaiting the start of the much anticipated football game.

 

 

All but one who's eyes were flitting about her surroundings, wearily checking her phone for new messages every so often. 

 

 

The girl sitting beside her nudged her on the shoulder and started smoothening out her forehead, 

 

 

“Sulli honey, enough of that. You're too young and pretty for frown lines. Stop worrying she'll be here soon enough.” 

 

 

Sulli slapped the offending hand away, “Can you blame me? The game’s starting in a few minutes and Krystal said she was still at the dinner when I called her ten minutes ago.” She sighed, wondering how she ended up being the middle man again. 

 

 

The two best friends have been acting anything but best friends lately despite their furtive attempts at making things appear to be completely normal. However, Amber and Krystal’s friendship was hardly normal and especially to Sulli, it was glaringly obvious that there was something wrong with their chemistry this past two weeks.

 

 

To anyone it may look like that they were just taking some breathing time apart after the ‘break up’. 

 

 

Amber was diligently focusing on preparing for her upcoming football game and Krystal would almost always be with Kai, slowly but surely molding their boyfriend/girlfriend status. Somewhere in this time, the boy has been eased into their tight-knight group and he often joined them for lunch or hung out with them outside of school. It was during these times that Amber would be curiously absent, and for the times when she was there, Sulli would notice the blonde’s very subtle inclination to look everywhere else but Krystal and Kai when they would show the least bit of affection.

 

 

At this point, Sulli really, really does not want to jump the gun on what she may think this means, so for now she will assume that Amber is still trying to loosen the reigns on her precious princess and only for that reason.

 

 

She continues to take into account the fact that Amber might still be a little pissed at the younger Jung for not having told her first that Kai and her were officially dating. Although, it probably already was an obvious inevitability, still, it should’ve been without said that Amber would be the first one to hear about it.

 

 

“Didn’t you know?” 

 

 

Sulli instantly regretted asking her that the minute she saw the look on Amber’s face. 

 

 

“I mean, Krystal knows how hard Amber’s worked for this, she wouldn’t ditch her for her boyfriend.” Luna affirmed, but then tilted her head, “Right?”

 

 

“I don’t know anymore. These two have been super weird with each other lately.” 

 

 

“They’re probably just trying to figure out their dynamics, now that Krystal’s the one that’s dating someone. They can’t exactly be as chummy as they usually are, can they.” Luna said, moving to the beat of the song that was playing out of the speakers.

 

 

“I hope so.” Sulli mumbled out, half-heartedly looking around her surroundings.

 

 

“Why couldn’t she just cancel if she knew that it’ll make her late?” Luna asked.

 

 

“It’s Kai’s mother’s birthday dinner. She says it’s kinda important because she’ll be meeting his whole family and it would’ve been rude to turn him down since Kai’s mother invited Krystal herself.”

 

 

Luna’s eyebrow rose, “Whoah, meeting the parents already huh. She must be serious about him.”

 

 

“Yeah, well, she’ll be in serious trouble if she doesn’t get her to school in the next five minutes.”

 

 

They two girls were jolted slightly when horns blared and a drum beat started playing. Seconds later, the players started jogging into the field in line.

 

 

Luna smiled reassuringly at Sulli and patted her on the shoulder.

 

 

“Krystal will make it before the game ends, at least. There’s no reason for her not to.” She shouted against the loud cheering and blaring music.

 

 

Sulli nodded and allowed herself to relax and focus on the game. 

 

 

She found Amber in the middle of the field looking a little nervous as she looked over the opposing team. She was a petite thing compared to the hulking bulls surrounding her. She was one of the rare instances where a female had been accepted into the football team. It wasn’t because of her boyish looks, but because she was the fastest runner in the school, which works great as a wide receiver. The effort she’s put in to maintain her position on the team is recognized by many and she was respected for it. However, her biggest supporter and the person who was the most proud of her isn’t present for her big game.

 

 

Just then, Sulli’s phone buzzed and her face fell when she saw that it was a text from Krystal.

 

 

This is bad.

 

 

 

---

 

 

Amber was painfully aware of how exhausted she was by the halftime rolled in. Her legs were sore from the amount of sprinting she had done in the last quarter and she was feeling rather suffocated behind her helmet. It might be the lingering performance anxiety, or it could’ve just been because the accumulating stresses from the past few weeks were now only starting to catch up with her.

 

 

What with practicing for hours after school, the piles of assignments and studying, and not to mention the emotional whirlwind she’s been going through, the exhaustion she was feeling at the moment was justifiable. Nevertheless, she didn’t want to bring it up to her teammates because they were still a little hesitant about the idea of having a girl on their team. She didn’t want to give them any ammo to shoot her down for not being able to keep up with them because she was female.

 

 

So when Siwon concernedly asked her if she was alright when he saw her slumped against the lockers, she nodded firmly and determinedly followed the Quarterback out into the field.

 

 

The minute she stepped out, she was overwhelmed by the roars coming from the bleachers, the chanting from the cheerleaders, and the music from the band that was playing. It gave her a new rush of adrenaline, enough to pull through the second half of the game.

 

 

The blonde turned around and waved charmingly at the crow, causing half of the crowd to cheer louder and even some screams from a few others. She spotted her family sitting at the second row with embarrassingly large, customized finger foams that had her face printed on it. Her smile only grew wider when they started excitedly cheering her on and acting like she had already won. Her eyes traveled further back and she managed to find her friends among the chaos, who were by far not any less boisterous than her family. It made her feel like a superhero, seeing them look so proud and being here in person to support her.

 

 

She searched a bit more, but couldn’t find the one person that came to her mind when she turned around to the bleachers. Her eyes caught Sulli’s and when she did, her good mood felt like it was slowly being drained out of her.

 

 

The guilty look the taller girl had on said everything.

 

 

Krystal didn’t show up. 

 

 

Her face hardened and she hastily put her helmet back on.

 

 

Unbridled anger accompanied the adrenaline now and she walked back onto the field a different person than she was in the first half of the game.

 

 

 

---

 

 

The thundering music was muffled out in the backyard and the lone figure lounging on the deck welcomed the reprieve from the noisy, drunks in the house.

 

 

Amber couldn't recall who's party this was or how she got here. All she remembered was after scoring the winning goal, everybody was congratulating her and some people were dragging her to a party to celebrate their victory. The rest was a haze and now here she was, sitting alone outside and staring blankly into space.

 

 

Through her muddled thoughts, she could here the doors to the backyard sliding open and small shuffling onto the deck. She paid no attention to it and the person didn't seem to want to speak to her anyway.

 

 

A few moments passed and the person moved towards the blonde almost cautiously and she finally sat down by her side. 

 

 

"What are you doing?!"

 

 

The exclamation was so sudden and loud that Amber jumped in shock at the intrusion to the silence. 

 

 

She was met with wide eyes and the confused face of someone she had least expected to see.

 

 

“You scared the out of me. Who creeps silently behind someone then drops down and yells at them out of nowhere?” Amber huffed, standing instinctively to be away from the girl.

 

 

“Don’t change the subject, what the hell are you doing?” Krystal demanded, pointing towards the blonde’s hand.

 

 

“What? This?” Amber looks down to her hand, “They’re called cigarettes, Krystal,” She said and pointedly brings it to to take a long drag.

 

 

The younger Jung stood up to take the burning stick away and put it out with her shoe, “No, they’re cancer sticks. What were you thinking??”

 

 

“I was thinking that maybe that was the only thing that was keeping me somewhat calm tonight.” Amber stared hard at the half-smoked cigarette.

 

 

Krystal stayed quiet at that and remembered why she went out to look for Amber in the first place. 

 

 

“You’re mad. Am…. I can’t even begin to say how sor-”

 

 

“Save it, Krystal. I don’t want to hear it. This isn’t the first time you’ve bailed on me and frankly I’m getting really tired.” Amber said and started to walk away.

 

 

“I know I really ed up this time but don’t pretend that you’ve been the only angel around here.”

 

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

 

“I’m talking about how it’s been so hard to be around you lately. You only talk to me when I do, and when you do, I’m lucky to even be able to get out more than three words from you. You’re also treating Kai like he’s an inanimate object whenever he’s around, which for me because hey, maybe sometimes I want to hang out with both my boyfriend and best friend at the same time.”

 

 

“Yeah, well, maybe I don’t, ever think of that?” Amber scoffed, then squeezed her eyes shut at how she now regrets saying that.

 

 

“Why the hell not? Didn’t you play a big part in setting us up?” Krystal was frustrated now, not knowing when it got to the point where she couldn’t even understand her own best friend. 

 

 

“I did.” Amber said lowly, avoiding looking into the shorter girl’s direct gaze.

 

 

“Then why do I get the feeling that you didn’t want to.”

 

 

She stayed silent.

 

 

“Amber, please. Talk to me. I-I miss you, okay. I miss you and I’m worried that you’re not telling me something and I don’t know how to fix this. Please Amber, what’s wrong? Is it something I did?” 

 

 

Amber could hear the tears in her voice and her teeth clench in self-loathing because she knew it was all her fault that her princess was confused and hurt, but still, she refused to speak. This was real, this wasn’t just one of their petty fights that could be solved by a few words and an ice-cream. Everything that they had been smothering down was now bubbling up to the surface and Amber feared that everything might just spill over.

 

 

“It is, isn’t it? Then tell me so that we can work things out. I want you back, I want my Amber back.”

 

 

The sound of the older girl’s heartbeat was pounding in her ears. Every word a slow and torturous stab to her chest.

 

 

“Damnit Amber! If you don’t answer me right now I’m leaving.” 

 

 

The thick, suffocating, tension permeated the air in the most unpleasant of ways.

 

 

A few heartbeats later, she let out a defeated sigh, “Fine.”

 

 

Time was measure in milliseconds from the time it took Amber to turn around to the time that Krystal was about to open the doors to the house.

 

 

“I’m in love with you.” Amber barely said it, but it was loud enough for the unsuspecting Jung to hear it clearly.

 

 

Krystal froze mid stride, heart starting to beat as wildly as the music inside.

 

 

The sincerity of her words was palatable and instead of crippling from the fear like she initially though would happen, Amber felt a strong sense of relief. The raw truth of finally saying it out loud settled over her. 

 

 

Krystal’s voice cracked when she finally spoke, “What?” She turned around to properly look at Amber, face completely unreadable.

 

 

“You heard me.”

 

 

“No, I heard something absurd like you saying you were in love with me.” Her face remained impassive. 

 

 

“Then you heard right.” Amber stared back, gaze intently fixed on the other woman’s. 

 

 

She wasn’t afraid anymore. She’s been afraid so many times and no good ever came out of it, and if no good comes out of this, she’ll be satisfied with the fact that she at least tried.

 

 

“Krys, I started falling for you the moment you started falling for someone else, but I know I loved you longer than that. The reason why I can't stand to be around you all this time is because I was scared I might say or do something I might regret. I didn't mean to hurt you, God I'm so sorry I made you feel like it was you who did something wrong, to push you away like I have been. It's stupid because I know I was the one who wanted you to be with Kai, I want you to be happy." Amber knew she was rambling at this point but she's already started and she can't take any of it back now.

 

 

"I just...... I can't help but hate that I'm not the one that can make you happy like he can. But I get it, I understand. You're in love with him, not me." She laughed, feeling tears trickling down her face like a heartbroken little girl. She was though, her heart was breaking for the first time in her life and she didn't know what to do but let the tears fall. 

 

 

Krystal continued to remain silent, it Amber feared that it wasn’t a good sign.

 

 

“Look, if you’re scared I might try to do anything about it, I won’t. I’ll stay out of your way if you want me to. If you feel uncomfortable around me now I totally understand.” Amber’s voice broke at the end and Krystal finally showed some bit of emotion at the sound. 

 

 

“Just let me know how you feel about this. If you want me to leave, all you have to do is ask.” 

 

 

“You can’t do this to me.”

 

 

Amber wasn’t expecting a reply so soon, and she hardly expected that.

 

 

“Do what?”

 

 

Krystal broke out of her mask and Amber was shocked to see the amount of pain that shone in her eyes. 

 

 

“Krys… I-“

 

 

“NO! Y-you can’t say this now, not after all that I’ve done to get to where I am.” Krystal’s eyes were burning red as she looked at Amber with such hurt that the older girl was shocked into silence.

 

 

Krystal shook her head in disbelief, “You don’t know, do you. Oh my god, you would think that with all of the girls that are in love with you, you would be able to recognize the signs.”

 

 

When Amber was still looking like a lost pup, Krystal exploded in aggravation.

 

 

“I’ve been in love with you for two years you stupid stupid llama!” It was shouted and laced with an angry tone, but the underlying longing was clearly heard. Now it was Krystal who’s tears were freely falling down her redden cheeks.

 

 

“Two years, Amber. Two years I’ve loved you and you never once picked up on it. Despite all the hints that I’ve tried dropping, you were still so god damn dense to see that I wanted you so much. Always have.”

 

 

Those words sent a violent shiver down Amber’s spine and she willed her heart to stop trying to fly out of her chest.

 

 

“Kai?” Was all Amber managed to let out.

 

 

The name brought Krystal back down to earth and her face fell. She turned to look back at the party that was completely unaware of the lover’s quarrel that was going down outside. 

 

 

She sighed, ashamed, “I’ll admit, I’m not proud of using him at first to make you jealous. To see if you could ever have feelings for me. Then when I started to lose hope, I found myself actually liking him and eventually I did. I do.” Her face hardened, “I thought you were politely rejecting me when I asked you for a sign and I’ve been trying to move on ever since.”

 

 

“Do you love him?” Amber spoke up, feeling a little confident after hearing Krystal’s confession. 

 

 

It was an odd feeling to be so elated to hear that that girl she’s in love with returns her feelings, but at the same time the impending rejection was making her crippled with insecurity.

 

 

“I can’t answer that. It’s too early to tell.” Krystal frowned disapprovingly.

 

 

“Do you think you can love him?” They both knew the real question, which was ‘Do you think you can love him as much as you love me?’

 

 

“He makes me happy.”

 

 

“You’re not answering the question.”

 

 

“And you’re not seeing the point, Amber. The point is is that I don’t need this right now. It’s too late! I’m with somebody else now and I’m happy.” 

 

 

“So what are you saying, does this mean you’re gonna simply throw away the feelings you have for me just like that?”

 

 

“I’ve been doing it for the last two years and I’ve gotten pretty damn good at it.”

 

 

They didn’t know how they ended up being less than a feet apart but they were practically breathing down on each other, fuming for a reason that they couldn’t even remember.

 

 

They barely had time to register it but the next thing they knew their lips were locked desperately in a passionate embrace, tears bitterly mingling into the kiss. 

 

 

Amber couldn’t imagine ever feeling like this with anybody else. She couldn’t believe that Krystal, her princess, was kissing with such intensity and love that it felt like she was soaring through the clouds. 

 

 

She honestly couldn’t believe it, so she pulled her impossibly closer by the waist and deepened the kiss, in case the shorter girl might just tragically disappear from her arms. 

 

 

Krystal made a noise at the back of and wound her arms around Amber’s neck tighter. Even though she could sense the lingering taste of cigarettes, Krystal was so overwhelmed with pleasure that she didn’t even care. 

 

 

Her back was met with the wall and Amber’s front was deliciously pressed against hers. Amber thought she was about to combust when she felt her best friend’s braless front pressed so tightly against hers, hardened tips grazing against her chest in a way that made her grow wild with desire.

 

 

Amber’s tongue begged for entrance and Krystal willingly obliged with a small whimper, seductively running her nails through blonde locks. The older girl moaned at the new sensation and a brief, rather displeasing thought of Krystal and Kai doing this exact same thing ran through her mind. This only made created a primal urge within her to claim what’s hers, and so she kissed her back with such fervour that it made Krystal’s toes curl and a beautiful moan escaped her lips.

 

 

Thoroughly pleased at the sound, Amber started trailing kisses down her jaw to her collarbone, and Krystal whispered her name pleadingly. The blonde’s hands trailed down Krystal’s sides and back up under her shirt, inching towards the bottom of her s, causing the younger’s already muddled brain to go into overdrive.

 

 

Krystal grabbed Amber’s face and forcibly crashed their lips together, trailing her own hand down to the other’s and squeezed, hard. Amber groaned delightfully and involuntarily bit on the younger girl’s bottom lip, causing the latter’s hips to push forward. 

 

 

They had just begun to find their rhythm when the doors the backyard was pulled opened and the obnoxious sound of party music threw them back into reality.

 

 

The pair was harshly shaken out of their little Utopia. They slowly came to and realized that it was stupid of them to think that they could be stuck in time, forever locked in that moment of blissful ignorance. It was too good to be true.

 

 

Fortunately, the had pulled apart in time and the part goer that had stumbled out onto the backyard immediately fell to the ground and passed out in a drunken heap.

 

 

“This was a mistake.” Krystal was still panting heavily, a reminder of what they had been doing for the last…. god knows how long.

 

 

Amber reached out, “Krys-”

 

 

“I have to go.” Her face twisted in longing for the briefest of moments before she hurried into the house. 

 

 

Despite Krystal’s words and her predicament, Amber lifted a hand to her lips and allowed a smile to reach her face.

 

 

 

---

 

 

A/N : I apologize. I know what it feels like when an author leaves you hanging, it’s happened to me so many god damn times and I absolutely want to KILL myself (and the author) but here I am doing the same thing. Life guys, sorry. No matter how much I love writing and burying myself in the world of fiction, real life comes first. 

 

For those that are still sticking with this, I do appreciate it. I can’t guarantee when the next update will be but I’ll try my best to get the next chapter up soon.