It's Sunday and I'm getting ready for morning mass.  Looking over the reflection of myself in front of me, I go down a mental checklist.

Smudge Proof Makeup...check

pearl necklace and pearl earrings...check

Classic Chignon Updo with soft side swept bangs...check

Knee length-Cream colored Audrey Hepburn Inspired Vintage dress with black sash...check

Black slingback high heels...check

French manicure and pedicure...check

Okay. I swipe on a layer of clear gloss over my matte lipstick in "Pink coral" and smack my lips once, twice.

and I'm done.

I reach over for my lace chapel veil and my cream colored handwallet, then I'm out my bedroom door with 15 minutes to spare.

Never mind that I usually woke up 90 minutes earlier than my usual time to get ready on Sundays for mass. Some find it odd but I find that it works like clockwork for me.

"Dad, I'll be back in a few hours!" I call out as I walk stroll past his room and head downstairs. Once downstairs, I swipe the keys out of the usual keybowl that is always there on the hallway table next to the front door.

I stroll the distance to my car door, unlock it and just as I am about to get in, Jackson's rental car pulls in behind me in the driveway.

The passenger side window goes down and Suzy sticks her head out. 

"Mind if we come with?!" She yells smiling at me.

I nod and motion for them to back pull out so I can get into my car and do the same.

Through the windshield I can see Jackson shaking his head though.

Confused, I let it show on my face as I make a gesture.

Suddenly he kills the engine.

Um okay...

He says something to Suzy causing her to laugh and quickly opens his car door and gets out.

He walks toward me with steps of determination until he is right in front of me.

"Keys." 

"What?" I'm still confused.

"We are going, together. Now, Keys." 

"Oh. Are you sure?"

"Now. Youngji."

"Okay. Geez."

I give Jackson my key thinking that  it is all he wants, but he does something else that I do not expect. He grabs hold of my hand and pulls me along with him. He then opens the back passenger door and helps me in, only letting go of my hand when I am fully seated in the backseat. I automatically turn to pull on my seatbelt but again, Jackson surprises me when he leans over me, pulls the seatbelt across my body and secures it into place. 

Throughout the entire process, my eyes are glued on the tick of his jaw and against my better judgement my eyes roam over his closed features even though they don't give anything away, aside from the jaw tick. 

Dear God, he is a handsome. But, the bigger question that echoes in my head is, what is he so angry about?

Suzy observes all this with a laugh and just asks, "Jackson, are you picking a fight with Youngji?" as if all this wasn't weird at all.

Jackson relaxes his features but remains quiet. During the drive to church, Suzy is her usual chatterbox self but I notice that Jackson is more subdued.

Did they have a disagreement? 

I breath in and out and stretch out my chest to lessen some of the tension I'm feeling inbetween my shoulder blades.  

I glance down and notice that I'm nervously tugging at the lace veil in between my fingertips. I straighten my back and lift the veil upon my head. I give it a few tugs to fix it into place, then I glance into the rearview mirror.

My eyes collides with Jackson's. 

Oh boy.

~~~

After what seems like a lifetime but was really less than ten minutes, we finally arrive at the church. 

I am still woolgathering when I look up and notice that Jackson has the car door open for me. I then snap out of my stupor and quickly undo my seatbelt strap before he  gets any ideas.

Inside the church I see some familar faces and smile, I even greet them and wave. Jackson and Suzy follow close behind me and do much the same. Well, Suzy is anyway. 

Many elderly couples invite us to sit with them but before I can accept, Jackson always takes the opportunity to step up beside me to politely decline. Then he proceeds to guide Suzy and I closer to the front pews. Once Jackson finds the one he thinks is suitable, he lets Suzy go in first and follows after, placing himself in between us.

Our close proximity puts me on edge and while I hold myself still, my body is well aware of every move his makes. I silently pray for deliverance and forgiveness of sins with the kinds of thoughts that are entering my head with him sharing the same breathing space that I am. 

After mass, Suzy stretches and spies a friend that we both have a common so she excitingly excuses herself and leaves me alone with Jackson.

It's on the tip of my tongue to beg her not to go but I bite back my pleas.

I feel his gaze upon me but I try to avoid it for as long as I can and refuse to look at him.

I have no clue what he's feeling or what he wants to tell me...

but I know one thing and it's that I'm scared beyond imagination. 

"...Youngji..."  Jackson begins....

If anything, it's the pain in his voice alone that leads my eyes to meet his once more.

"Ah, I'm so glad you aren't gone yet, Youngji!" The church activities director interrupts the moment.

I blink and mentally juggle to grab on to what is left of my bearings. 

"Mrs. Shin. Wonderful to see you again, what can I help you with?"

"I have a children's activity planned later today for a gathering, do you think you can be able to help me set things up?"

"Yeah, of course. Sure."

"Great!" She exclaims in relief.

"Did you drive here? I may have to leave early." She adds after a moments pause.

"Oh, I um...I didn't...

"What time is it expected to end?" Jackson directs toward Mrs. Shin. "I'll be here to pick her up."

"What?!" I exclaim. "You can't. Suzy has plans!"

"I wasn't made aware of them." Jackson commented calmly.

"Jackson...."

"Youngji, we need to talk."

"No we don't. We so don't."

"Really? Because I'm standing here thinking, we definitely do."

"If it's too hard, I can just..." Mrs. Shin started nervously as she looks back and forth between Jackson and I.

"I'll be here." I promise.

"She'll be here." Jackson states at the same time.

He then turns toward me and orders, "Wait inside this santuary for me. I better not see you waiting outside these doors when I get here.

Then just like that he is gone.

It's a damn struggle not to give into the childish need to roll my eyes....