It's been a week since Jackson walked back into my life and it couldn't be more perfect. I mean the three of us are as close as ever and everything is great. Youngji, bless her heart gives Jackson and I a lot of time to just ourselves and even I can appreciate that. That is why she's my best friend. I think she knows, I'm falling for Jackson and boy, am I falling fast. Of course with my record, many would say that it's the norm but it's different with Jackson. He takes care of me and is protective of me. Every other guy, even my most recent ex just wanted arm candy. Someone who would look good standing next to them. 

Screw them. 

On opening the front door for me, our butler mentioned that Jackson was somewhere in the house but not seeing him anywhere I decided to go put up my yoga mat and gym bag. Then I decided on  a quick shower.  When I got out, I walked into my bedroom and found a dozen red roses on my desk along with an adorable teddybear. 

Be still. My heart.

I walk toward the door and opening it, I look around to see if there is anyone at the coridoor. Finding no one, I silently close the door and leaning against it I giggle.

Thank Buddha for allowing such a guy like Jackson in my life. 

Remembering the small buddha statue set against a shelf against the wall of my bedroom, I go to it and take down. Admiring the feel and slope of it with my finger tips I say a quick prayer, kissing it as if I would a good luck charm.

~~~

Walking through the front doors of the church, I breathe in it's warmth and welcoming essence. I admire the murels and look toward the front of the santuary with a dozen lighted candles.

In one of the front pews there is a female who's kneeling down. I can only see the back of her head but I know she's saying her prayers.

It makes me think of Suzy. As I reach one of the front pews on the other side and kneel down to start my prayer, Suzy comes to my mind.

I hope she liked the roses and the teddy bear. It was a shame I couldn't stay long. I recieved a call from my brother and he needed me to check up on some company data involving his endeavor to expand his company into Korea. After I took care of that, I felt like I needed a breather so I came here to the church. Soon I'll come here together Suzy. She and I often discussed how much we felt like we belonged whenever we walked into a church...

Bowing my head, I pray. I pray in thankfulness for what it is I've already recieved. I pray for what it is I feel I still need. I pray for friends and family and I especially pray that soon, Suzy would realize my feelings for her.

~~~

I turn to leave the pew I had occuppied for a good twenty minutes and the breath swooshes out of my body.  In the pew across from mine is Wang Jackson.

He has his eyes closed and head down in quiet prayer.

Oh my...what if he sees me here? Would he remember our talks? Would it all click then?  Suzy was a devoted Buddhist as were her grandparents. Only her parents went to church on occassion. 

The more I think about it, the harder it is to breathe. They were falling for one another and it was always supposed to happen. Jackson and Suzy. 

The unbidden love I felt for so long rises up within me until I feel myself almost choke from it regardless of the fact that it will never supposed be and could never be, between Jackson and I.

Fighting my demons, silently but rapidly I walk away with my back to the man and the place I Iove, and then closing the door, I run. I run faster than I have ever run before.