I wake up gritty eyed and tired as if I hadn't even slept at all. It took me a while to process why I was feeling so when everything from last night came back to hit me. 

Me unexpectedly having fun for the first time last night on the dance floor after Jackson's overwhelming scrutiny throughout the night.

Mino suprising the heck out of me with that left field kiss and then witnessing Jackson do the same exact thing with Suzy.

I remember turning blindly away and calmly walking away to take my seat at the table. I mean seriously, with Mino being a friend of both Suzy and Jackson how could I give into my first instincts and slap the hell out of him? Wouldn't that be very unladylike? I think that there's been enough drama for one night so I tighten my hold on my composure and edure until my front door closes behind me at 12 in the morning. Where I then make the laborious trip up to my bedroom, shutting everything out, including Mino's apologies and the look of pure happiness on Suzy's face. I especially shut out the look of regret on Jackson's face when Mino apologises for kissing me out of the blue. 

I remember shedding off my clothes and thinking,

"It doesn't matter. Maybe he's been in love with Suzy all this time and just wants to get back at me for involving myself where I shouldn't have in their love story." 

I'll not lie. That one thought was the thought that broke the camel's back on the contrary to my facade of indifference. 

My first tear of the night slips down my cheek because of it and I continue to cry behind the safe haven of my closed door. I cry until there's no more tears left and I fall into a fitful sleep.

As I now lay awake in bed, I go over everything from beginning to end in my head. Our childhood stories, Jackson's feelings for Suzy. My unreciprocated feelings for Jackson. The development between us because of it. 

My phone pings in notification of a message. I check and it is Jackson. 

"I wanted to give you time but this is killing me... I'm sorry for everything that happened..."

I read his message over and over again as tears I didn't know I still had, rush forward. 

Blindly, I message him back three words. 

"I'm sorry too."

I wipe the wetness from my eyes and wait for a response. 

When there is none after a few moments I text, "Friends?" 

Immediately, my cellphone rings and I know who it is.

"Hey Youngji, are you on your way yet?" The masculine voice asks at the other end.

"No, HwanBi. Why?" 

"The president gave us some news. We'll be promoting two songs in our new Album. One is "Skin Deep" in which has your original choreography and the other song is "Black Void" you know, the one we all agreed upon had some chinese instrumental influence?"

"Okay..." I respond, not sure where this is going.

"Well, I'm pretty sure they are going to tell you as they always do but you and I always tell each other first anyway right? So, Prez wants you in on the choreography of "Black Void" but in callaboration with up and rising choreographer S. L. Moriscati who is currently residing in Hong Kong. Please tell me you are up to it or will at least consider it..."

"If I do consider being in on it? when do we start?" I downplay the excitement rising in me.

"Terry and I will go with you first. Because Terry is the main dancer and I'm the group's leader...we are scheduled to leave this afternoon."

"Isn't that a bit too soon?" I hesitate.

"Why do you think I chose to be the one to give you the heads up? I want you to know you have an option." He's laughing at me.

"Very funny." I reply sarcastically.

"Anyway, let me know before you do the Prez okay?  I can't wait to go over some ideas I have with you and Prez always forgoes my ideas whenever you go to him first."

I laugh because his disappointment is so obvious.

"I will. I promise." 

After he hangs up on me I notice that I recieved a text from Jackson.

"Sorry, Heo Youngji. I cannot be friends with you." Is his reply.

 I had no idea that his reply would be the deciding factor of me taking the stint in HK until that moment.

All I know is that I need time and distance away from him and I'll take it any way I can.