Forgetful
Tell Me You ExistIndex:
(YJ) – Young Jae speaking
(DH) – Daehyun speaking
(HC) – Himchan speaking
(GY) – Grandma Yoo speaking
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After lunch, Krystal had gone ahead to go give her report to Yongguk. Daehyun and Young Jae were gathering their things up, a bit of humming coming from Daehyun. It seemed like Daehyun and Krystal would get along with one another, but Young Jae wasn’t thinking about that too much at the moment. Would now be a good time to ask Daehyun about everything? “So…” (DH)
Young Jae stopped gathering his things as he sat up straight and looked at Daehyun. After Daehyun had finished packing up the containers, he looked at Young Jae. Daehyun bit his bottom lip a bit, trying to word his sentence as best as possible. He didn’t want to sound like a jealous boyfriend, but he also didn’t want to be too vague. “So… is Krystal the girl you have a crush on?” (DH)
Okay, so it seems like he was a little too blunt with his question. Did that matter? Not really. Even with Young Jae’s cute blushing, Daehyun had to make certain. After all, he was certain now that he had a crush on Young Jae and if it turned out that Young Jae had a crush on Krystal, then Daehyun had to mentally prepare himself before helping out Young Jae. “N-No…! Um… S-She’s just a classmate. She, um… she wanted to… meet you because of Yongguk.” (YJ)
“Yongguk…” (DH) Young Jae noticed the sort of distant look on Daehyun’s face at the mention of Yongguk’s name. Had… something happened between them that caused them to stop being friends? Besides what Yongguk told him, Young Jae didn’t know of any other reason for them to have stopped being friends. Before he could ask Daehyun about it though, Daehyun had spoken up. “I… don’t know a Yongguk. Maybe he mistook me for someone else…” (DH)
“But… he recognized you in the picture I drew. I-I’m sure tha-” (YJ)
“I said that I don’t know a Yongguk.” (DH) Young Jae lowered his gaze as he quickly kept his hands between his thighs. He felt like he had just tugged at one of Daehyun’s strings and he didn’t want to make Daehyun anymore annoyed. Noticing this, Daehyun let out a sigh as he leaned forward a bit. “Look… I’m not angry or anything. I just… don’t know a Yongguk is all, okay?” (DH)
“M… Mhm…” (YJ) Daehyun sighed as he rubbed the back of his head, seeing the uncertainty through Young Jae’s actions. He really regretted his actions, but he really just didn’t want to talk about certain topics. If Young Jae would just listen to him and not bring up certain topics, then Daehyun wouldn’t end up feeling and acting this way.
“I’m sorry, alright? Lighten up… I’ll bake you some goodies when we get home to make it up to you, alright?” (DH) This seemed to catch Young Jae’s attention as he instantly sat up, his interested gaze completely on him. Daehyun smiled a bit, definitely feeling much happier with such a smile on Young Jae’s face. “Wow… you must really like food if you got so happy so quickly!” (DH)
“I-I… I’ve wanted to try your cooking since you said you were going to take over your parents’ bakery. It must be really good…” (YJ) Daehyun chuckled a bit as he slid the packed up containers across the table towards Young Jae. As Young Jae finished packing his things, Daehyun got to his feet as he shouldered his backpack.
“Heh… My baking is the best! You’ll see when we get home. Anyway, I gotta get going. I’ll see you later.” (DH) Young Jae nodded and once Daehyun gave a quick wave, he turned and made his way out of the library. Once Daehyun was out of sight, Young Jae smiled a bit as he finished packing up. Getting to his feet, Young Jae picked his stuff up before he began walking.
There was just no telling how Daehyun’s baking will taste, but Young Jae couldn’t help but feel excited about it. After all, this would be the first time Daehyun baked for him and it would be an interesting experience. If what Daehyun said is true, then maybe Daehyun really could run his parents’ bakery once the time came. After all, Young Jae already liked the food that his parents baked; so it would be impressive if Daehyun could out bake them. Of course… he still had to find out if Jongup’s parents really were Daehyun’s parents, but that could wait for the time being.
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Although he was supposed to be taking notes, Young Jae couldn’t help but try and finish up his drawing of Daehyun. For some reason, he couldn’t get the shading right at all. No matter where he shaded, something felt off and it was bothering Young Jae. If he could just see Daehyun with this same lighting once more, then he could see what he was doing wrong. He wanted to show it to Daehyun as soon as possible, but only when the drawing had been completed.
Every now and then, he would tune into the lecture, taking note of what the teacher was talking about, before turning his attention back to his drawing. He’s had plenty years of practice to make himself seem like he was paying attention, so Young Jae didn’t have to worry about getting into trouble for the time being. Of course, it wouldn’t be too troublesome if he did get caught. He’s only gotten into trouble one other time, so he didn’t mind too much.
While drawing, Young Jae was trying his best to remember how the light had hit Daehyun’s face during that sunset. He wished that he had decided to draw Daehyun earlier, but that had been before he had started considering the possibilities of dating a male. Yes, he was still in the consideration mode, but he was at least slowly making his way to his answer.
Now that he thought about it, maybe he could even come up with that list that Daehyun had asked him to make. What were the words that he said were supposed to be mandatory on the list? Maybe Daehyun wouldn’t remember what those words were supposed to be. If he came up with really good words, then maybe Daehyun would be impressed and not care about the other two or three words that were supposed to stay on the list.
Quickly glancing up, Young Jae made certain that the teacher wasn’t paying attention before he pulled out a sheet of paper. Pursing his lips, Young Jae thought for a brief moment before he wrote a few words on it. Would Daehyun be alright with these words? Maybe he needed to come up with stronger words, but… he would just keep these words for the moment.
Putting the paper to the side, Young Jae would just have to continue thinking while he finished his drawing. Maybe… he could present both of them to Daehyun at the same time! If… he decided that he really did like the idea of dating Daehyun, then maybe… he could use these as a sort of confession. Would Daehyun like that? Would… he be alright with dating him?
Just the thought of dating Daehyun made his face and ears redden, forcing Young Jae to slouch a little more in his seat in an attempt to hide his face. Quickly glancing up, Young Jae was rather glad that his teacher wasn’t looking his way at all. Taking in a deep breath, Young Jae attempted to fan himself a little bit before he went back to his drawing.
Maybe he should be careful with his thoughts while in class.
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“Hey you’re finally here!” (DH) Young Jae smiled a bit as he saw Daehyun standing by his shoe locker. How long had he been waiting? School had ended only about ten minutes ago, so he hadn’t been that long. Still, Young Jae was rather glad that Daehyun was waiting for him. For some reason, he just seemed to find himself happier around him.
“H-Hello…” (YJ) Daehyun chuckled a bit as he opened up Young Jae’s shoe locker and pulled his shoes out. Holding the shoes out to Young Jae, Daehyun waited as Young Jae stared for a brief moment. Young Jae felt embarrassed for some reason as he gave a shy smile, taking hold of his shoes as he slightly bowed his head. “T-Thank you.” (YJ)
“Why are you so embarrassed?” (DH) Young Jae kept his head down as he gave a brief shrug. Sitting on the bench, Young Jae had begun to change his shoes, but every time he glanced up at Daehyun, he could see Daehyun watching him with a smile of sorts. It was… a little creepy to be watched, but at the same time… Young Jae kind of liked the attention that he was getting from him.
“Um… Why are you staring at me?” (YJ)
“Why not? Does it… make you feel uncomfortable?” (DH) Young Jae held an embarrassed smile as he shook his head. After he made certain that his shoes were on comfortably, Young Jae leaned back a bit, putting his arms behind him to keep himself propped up.
“I… I’m okay with it.” (YJ) Daehyun chuckled a bit before holding his hand out. At first, Young Jae had assumed that he wanted to take his hand to help him up. However, after a moment of staring, Daehyun pointed towards the ground. Pushing himself forward a bit, Young Jae looked down before spotting his school shoes neatly lined up to the right of his feet. Bending forward, Young Jae picked up his shoes before handing it over to Daehyun, whom put the pair into Young Jae’s shoe locker. With the locker closed up, Young Jae got to his feet before shouldering his backpack.
“Let’s head home now.” (DH) With a nod, the two began making their way back home. Young Jae glanced over at Daehyun every few seconds, his curiosity slowly creeping up on him. On one hand, he knew that he shouldn’t try prying into Daehyun’s personal life. On the other hand, though, he wanted to know the truth. He knew that if something was very personal to him, then he wouldn’t want people trying to pry into his own life, but… for some reason, he felt like he needed to know.
“What happened… with your family…?” (YJ)
“… Why are you asking?” (DH) Daehyun’s pace had slowed, but he hadn’t come to a complete stop. Young Jae bit his bottom lip, trying to figure out how to explain himself. He couldn’t just say that it was out of curiosity, but he couldn’t exactly come up with any other reason behind it.
“I… I’m sorry… I’m just… curious, Daehyun…” (YJ)
“I don’t want to talk about it…” (DH)
“But… your family must miss you, right? Y-You should…” (YJ)
“Stop.” (DH)
“B-But… don’t you miss your fami-” (YJ)
“I DON’T want to talk about it!” (DH) Young Jae jumped from Daehyun’s anger as they came to a stop. They stood there for a few seconds, the atmosphere feeling heavy, as Young Jae remained quiet. He could see Daehyun clenching his fists tightly, his hands slightly shaking as Young Jae could see Daehyun trying hard to possibly control his anger. Was this topic really something that got on Daehyun’s nerves? Young Jae didn’t understand, but he was too scared to make him any angrier than he already was. “I… I’m leaving.” (DH)
“Dae-” (YJ) Before Young Jae even managed to utter out Daehyun’s name, Daehyun had began running. Young Jae had taken a step forward and reached out to Daehyun, but Daehyun was already down the sidewalk. Biting his bottom lip, Young Jae tightly grabbed the straps of his backpack as he tried to think of what to do. He wanted to run after Daehyun, but Young Jae wasn’t really certain if it would be alright.
“Young Jae? What are you doing just standing around like that? Standing out here is bound to get you sick!” (HC) Young Jae turned to see Himchan standing just a small distance away. Looking back down the sidewalk, Young Jae frowned once he noticed that Daehyun was no longer in sight. “What are you looking at?” (HC)
“Um… Nothing…” (YJ) Young Jae looked back at Himchan before giving a shy smile. Himchan let out a sigh as he shook his head, not really certain how to respond to that. With a small shrug, Himchan took a few steps forward and snuck a glance down the sidewalk before adjusting his bag.
“Anyway, do you want to go get some ice cream today?” (HC) Young Jae stared at Himchan for a moment before looking at the snow that was beginning to drift down once more. Knowing exactly what Young Jae was thinking, Himchan let out a slight groan as he folded his arms. “Okay, so it’s a little cold for ice cream, but we can just have baked ice cream, okay?! It's both warm and cold, so it's definitely worth having no matter what the temperature is!” (HC)
“Oh… Um… I guess it’s okay then.” (YJ) Maybe it would be best to give Daehyun some space. After somehow managing to anger him, which he already knew how it occurred, Young Jae didn’t want to make things worse. Once Daehyun has calmed down, then Young Jae would talk to him then. It would probably be best to apologize and just to stop asking about Daehyun’s past. It was his business and… he had no right to try and pry into it.
“Good. Come on, then! It’s not that far away.” (HC) Young Jae nodded as the two began walking. He really couldn’t help but worry about Daehyun, but what else could he do? Looking down the sidewalk, Young Jae stared, hoping for Daehyun to show up once again. When he felt a nudge at his arm, he turned his attention forward.
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Young Jae hummed happily as he walked down the hallway. Even though it was cold out, the ice cream and the hot cocoa was really tasty. Young Jae really hadn't been expecting there to be hot cocoa at the restaurant, so it was quite a pleasant surprise. It was a bonus that Himchan had offered to pay for him. With his small allowance, Young Jae didn’t want to end up spending more money. Even then, the ice cream and the hot cocoa were pretty cheap. He wouldn’t mind going again and sharing with…
He paused in front of his door as he tried to think. Who had it been that he wanted to share it with? Was it Himchan? He wasn’t close enough to go with Krystal, Dongwoo, or Yongguk and he didn’t really talk much with anyone else to want to share ice cream with so… who had he been thinking of?
Scratching the side of his head, Young Jae decided to shrug it off for now as he entered the apartment. After switching into his slippers, Young Jae shuffled forward a bit as he looked around. Something felt off, as if there were something missing, but… what was it? Why did he seem to have this feeling? It was really bothering Young Jae, but he really couldn’t put his finger on it.
Walking into his bedroom, Young Jae flicked the lights on before pausing. As he looked around, Young Jae frowned a bit as he had that same feeling of something missing. However, no matter how much he looked around, everything seemed to be in place. It made Young Jae feel uncomfortable, but there wasn’t really anything he could do that would push this feeling away.
Once he was seated at his desk, Young Jae unpacked his bag before setting his books off to its usual corner. Taking hold of his sketchbook, Young Jae ran his fingers along the hard surface before opening it up. Flipping through the pages, Young Jae was about to reach the last picture in the book when he heard his grandmother’s voice. “Young Jae! Come eat.” (GY)
“O-Okay, grandma!” (YJ) Getting to his feet, Young Jae stopped for a moment as a confused look came onto his face. Why did the sound of his voice saying that feel… lonely? It almost felt like there was supposed to be another voice saying that as well, but… that couldn’t be the case. All of his cousins lived elsewhere, so there wasn’t really anyone else out there that would call his grandmother grandma. Maybe it was just a random feeling.
Shaking it off, Young Jae soon made his way to the kitchen.
As he sat himself down at the kitchen table, Young Jae noticed that there was three spots set up. It felt like it was supposed to be like that, but no matter how much he thought about it, Young Jae was certain that it was just him and his grandmother. As his grandmother sat down, she noticed Young Jae’s confused look. “Oh dear… What is it, Young Jae?” (GY)
“Um… Are there supposed to be three spots? Are we having a guest?” (YJ) Grandma Yoo looked at each setup area before a surprised look came onto her face. She gave a quiet chuckle, getting to her feet as she picked up the empty bowls. Young Jae noticed that his grandmother had hesitated, but that smile of hers came back as she continued to gather the empty bowls.
“Oh dear… It seems my old age is affecting me now...” (GY) As he watched his grandmother put the bowls away, Young Jae couldn’t help but feel a little… sad by this. Why was he feeling this way? His grandmother was simply putting away bowls that weren’t being used, but… it felt wrong. It was almost as if they had just denied someone important to them their food and… Young Jae couldn’t help but feel bad about it.
Was there a way to… fix this feeling?
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After dinner, Young Jae studied for another hour or so before he got himself ready for bed. It felt strangely quiet to him, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Still, Young Jae merely shrugged it off a he slid into bed. Turning off his table lamp, Young Jae pulled the blanket over him as he comfortably laid there.
Lying there in his bed, Young Jae stared up at the ceiling. He had let the night sky light up his room yet again, allowing him to stare up at his ceiling and making out some of its details… if it had any. As he laid there, Young Jae couldn’t help but feel as if there was something missing. He didn’t quite know what could be missing, but Young Jae was certain that there was supposed to be something there.
Or maybe… someone.
Was it possible for someone else to have been in his bed too? Yes, he felt like something was missing, but Young Jae didn’t recall ever sharing his bed with anyone else. Though… why was he only sleeping on the left side of his bed then? Before, he usually slept in the middle without hesitation with his limbs sprawled, but now… he was sleeping on the left side of his bed while keeping to himself.
Young Jae felt a bit uncomfortable that he had this feeling of someone missing from his life. No, he was much more than just uncomfortable. He felt… sad and confused by it, maybe even lonely. Looking to his right, Young Jae frowned a bit as he slowly moved his hand to the right side of the bed. Grabbing the bed sheets a bit, he slightly tugged at it before loosening his hold.
Turning onto his right side, Young Jae held his frown as he continued to move his hand along the empty space. Shutting his eyes, Young Jae attempted to imagine who could possibly be missing from this spot. There was just no clear image of who it could be, but Young Jae was certain that it was someone very important to him. How did he know though? If he had forgotten about this person, then was it really possible for them to be so important? Then again... they had to be important if they had shared his bed with him.
Who was missing…?
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[[ My Own Thoughts:
Sorry that this chapter is a bit shorter than all the other ones, buuuut…
I felt like I shouldn’t add too much without dragging it along.
So, I hope that you’re all okay with it >3<
But yes… Daehyun has technically left.
What shall happen?
We shall find out eventually…!
Comments are loved. X3
I love talking with everyone >3<
It’s also nice to learn how I am doing with each of these chapters. X3 ]]
It’s also nice to learn how I am doing with each of these chapters. X3 ]]
So... I don't know if I should edit Ch. 18 & 19 or not. It's pretty angst and I cry.
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