Chap 9: Confession

It was a new day in class. JinYoung walked in with his tired face from not much sleeping last night. Mark wasn’t here yet. He sighed in relief. The last person he wanted to see was the red hair. He needed some private time so as not to building up much hope. He didn’t know anymore. Everything was getting complicated day by day.

“Hi, JinYoungie” - YuGyeom waved him over with their group of friends. JinYoung smiled casually and sat down next to them.

“So, it’s your prank yesterday, isn’t it?” - he smirked, looking at the others’ obvious faces.

“Yes!” - Jaebum answered with no hesitation. What’s there to be ashamed of? He was just helping his friend out. “So how did it go? Good?” - they all looked at JinYoung with much expectation.

“I don’t know…” - JinYoung just sighed and leaned his head on BamBam’s shoulder.

“What do you mean you don’t know? Did Mark make any process??” - YoungJae asked.

“He did. He wasn’t shy to skinship with me in public anymore. We were having a lot of fun…”

“But?” - there would always be a but if JinYoung said that with a straight face.

The black hair didn’t have to answer that. Because it was about time when Mark walked towards the class, hand in hand with his girlfriend. It caught all of the boy’s attention, of course.

“But that happened in the end.” - JinYoung pointed to that direction and stood up to get back to his seat.

Mark immediately let go of Yumi’s hands when he caught JinYoung’s eyes. The tingling feelings from yesterday still made him nervous.

“Uhm… Yumi, I have to get to class early today, have something to discuss with my friends.”

“Okay, oppa! See you later then?”

Mark scratched his head. He didn’t know why he had this crave to hang out with JinYoung, to spend time with the black hair as much as he could. So he slowly shook his head.

“Tomorrow okay Yumi, I’m a bit tired today so maybe I will just go straight home.”

“Ah...fine…” - she looked down embarrassed.- “Bye oppa!”

On the way to his desk, Mark walked by JinYoung and saw the black hair sleeping, or pretended to. He stopped for a second to admire JinYoung’s pretty face. It slowly hit him that he might, just might, like the black hair, not as a friend only. He ruffled JinYoung’s hair softly before getting back to his place.

I just need more time- Mark thought - This was still so new. This feelings. With a boy. With JinYoung. I don’t know anymore. What game my heart was playing….

If Mark needed time, it was the most luxurious thing right now. Because JinYoung, he slowly lost his patience. As if he couldn’t wait anymore. Because he couldn’t have the chance to wait anymore.

*

“JinYoung!” - Mark’s hoarse voice called him from afar. Even though he didn’t want to, JinYoung still stopped walking so that Mark could catch up with him.

“What’s wrong with you today? Are you feeling unwell?” - the red hair said and placed his palm on JinYoung’s forehead, with many people around staring at them. The black hair couldn’t help blushing. Okay, maybe Mark did make a great process after all.

“I’m fine, you weirdo.” - he shyly slapped Mark’s hand away.

“Let’s go home together.” - Mark said and flung an arm around JinYoung’s shoulder. It was just an act you do with a friend. Nothing special. Nothing more. Stop delusioning, Park JinYoung!

“Don’t you find it weird?” - he asked, making the red hair startled.

“What weird?”

“You, doing this with me, in front of everyone?”

The question made Mark withdrew his hands as if he just realized what he had done. But caring for JinYoung has long been Mark’s instinct. He was sure if anything happened to the black hair, he wouldn’t mind what people think but went straight to help. That was what friends for right?

“What are you saying silly?” - Mark pretended like nothing happened and dragged JinYoung along with him.

“Hey! You never answer my question.”- JinYoung whined. And he didn’t just mean the previous one but the one was asked in Mark’s room the other night. Do you love me?

“Because you keep asking silly ones!” - Mark protested and ruffled JinYoung’s head. They laughed heartily while walking towards the parking lot. The red hair stayed silent for a while, staring at the boy walking next to him, who kept talking, ranging his topics from school work to the new album from his favorite singer. JinYoung didn’t know that Mark’s answer was for both question as well. Does Mark love JinYoung? Why did the other keep asking silly questions? Wasn’t it better when their relationship stay like this. They could kiss each other whenever they like, hangout as friends or as lovers, who cares. No commitment , no responsibilities. It was especially since they’re both boys.

They were too busy chitchatting they didn’t see a girl approach them.

“Hi guys…” - Yumi hugged her bag in front of her chest, seemed a little stunned when he saw Mark walking close with JinYoung.

“Ah, hi.” - JinYoung took second to smile happily, which made Mark surprised. Shouldn’t the black hair be jealous? Could it be that JinYoung really didn’t have any special feelings for him?- “Mark, your girlfriend need to see you. I’m going ahead okay?” - he nudged Mark and winked playfully. The red hair couldn’t be more confused...What? What did JinYoung trying to prove by this? That he wasn’t jealous as Mark did when the black hair was with Jackson?

So Mark reached out his arms and pulled JinYoung’s wrist before the black hair could walk away. “Wait. I will go home with you today. I already told Yumi, right?” - he glanced at his girlfriend for a few secs, not really care about her reaction but shifted his attention back to JinYoung immediately.

“You could go with her. I don’t have my bike with me today anyway. I’ll just walk home instead. You two should spend some time together.” - JinYoung could see a tint of sadness in Yumi’s eyes. Mark was an idiot. He could never notice other people’s feelings. That’s why JinYoung decided he should do it instead. Smiling but inside he was hurt. Teasing but it was just to sooth himself down. Blame him for being a good actor.

He pushed Mark’s hand away. However, the red hair only tightened his grip.

“Then I will give you a ride.” - he insisted. “Bye Yumi.” - he said simply before pulling the other boy with him.

“Babo yah! You will make your girlfriend sad.” - that was all JinYoung managed to say after a moment of feeling amazed from Mark’s action. The red hair still held his hands, JinYoung wouldn’t say he blushed, he was a boy after all, he didn’t do girly stuff, but he felt butterflies in his stomach when Mark started to skinship with him voluntarily in front of other people like this.

“And why are you so eager to shoo me off? Don’t you want to go home with me? Or you have someone else to go home with?” - Mark pouted cutely and JinYoung restrained himself from kissing the boy right there.

“Okay, okay, but you’re the one to ride, weirdo.” - the black hair said and quickly found his way to the other’s bike, hiding his nervousness. But it caught Mark’s eyes and he giggled. JinYoung always acted cool, but Mark liked it more when the other boy was cute like this.

*

Riding JinYoung back home, having the black hair behind his back, Mark took the longer road. It wasn’t like JinYoung didn’t notice it. And he cursed under his breath. Damn, Mark! Stop giving me false hope. He wanted to scream it out loud for the other boy to hear. But he didn’t have the courage. He didn’t dare to ruin what he had. He blamed himself for being such a coward. He was being so pathetic, clinging on to a love that he knew wasn’t his.

JinYoung remembered those eyes Yumi looked as Mark dragged him to the parking lot. It could be more painful if the girl knew what they did behind her back. But he knew that would never happen. Mark would never let other know about their relationship. So either they stopped or they stayed forever like this. In secret. In confusion. Maybe it was, for Mark. But not to JinYoung. Still he hated himself for not making up his mind. Whether he wanted to continue this or not. It hurted to keep their relationship in a status in between just because of Mark keep being in denial. But it would hurt much more if JinYoung didn’t get to hug Mark, to kiss Mark, to be by the red hair’s side.

Thinking of their partners, JinYoung imagined how Jackson would feel if he knew JinYoung and Mark’s stories too. The other boy had never did a thing to hurt him. Yet he was cheating like this. Well, kinda cheating. And he didn’t even have the full happiness in this cheating. Park JinYoung. You needed to stop.

“Hey” - Mark called the black hair after hearing nothing from the boy for so long.

“Hmmm?” - JinYoung answered, with his mind still wandered somewhere.

“Do you like me JinYoung?” - Mark took a deep breath and asked. He thought carefully. Ever since he got back from their amusement park kinda-date. He thought about how happy he felt when he hung out with JinYoung and JinYoung alone, not as a friend but as a lover. He thought about how his hands fit perfectly with the other boy, how his lips were always craving to be placed against the other’s, how he always wanted JinYoung to notice him and him only.

Mark noticed JinYoung pampered him. Not in the way that he pampered other members of the group. He noticed JinYoung liked to give him kisses and acted intimately with him in front of their friends. But back when they were alone, the black hair turned shy and cute. Mark was 70% sure JinYoung liked him. Well, the other boy was homoual after all, so what couldn’t happen. The other 30% of uncertainty was because JinYoung never acted jealous when Mark was with Yumi. It annoyed the red hair somehow. And he must ask. He was the type that said what he thought.

“I-I….” - JinYoung hesitated. What was he waiting for? It was his chance to confess, to make it clear. When he agreed that he does the red hair, maybe it was even more than just ‘like’, and Mark accepted his feelings too, things would go on well. Even if Mark rejected him, it was cue for all of these things to stop. It was about time. Years of kissing in secret was about to take a turn.

They reached JinYoung’s house before he could answer anything. He got down from Mark’s bike, reluctantly removed his hands from the red hair’s waist and staring straight into those beautiful eyes before glueing his on the ground.

“I… I like you Mark… I really do…”

JinYoung said and dashed inside his house without waiting for Mark to react. The door shut harshly behind his back. He pressed his back against it and clutched his chest.

Gosh! His heart was beating so fast to handle. It was like it was gonna explode anytime soon. There. He said it. He finally confessed his feelings after all those years. No more misleading, misunderstanding. He showed Mark that what he did was portraying his real emotions, which he has long confirmed. Not like the red hair being confused about his heart, JinYoung knew long ago his heart belonged to Mark. But he had prepared for the worse. That if Mark said no, he wouldn’t be so hurt. Maybe they could still get back to friends. Things won’t be awkward, right?

Minutes later, he looked outside the window and saw Mark had already left. He wouldn’t hope for anything, JinYoung persuaded himself. What comes will come. He will wait. As if he hasn’t waited for Mark to come pass his denial stage all this long.

*

Mark rode as fast as he could. He didn’t even know where he was going anymore. He reached his house before he noticed, but his mind still drifted somewhere else. JinYoung just said he liked him. So it was true. Mark didn’t know how to feel. What was this weird feeling in his chest? His heart was beating out of rhythm and it was getting hard to breathe. Suddenly, JinYoung’s smile was all he could think of right now.

He lay on his bed, his eyes on the ceiling. He still couldn’t get his mind straight. Mark thought he was straight? But he felt no other feelings for other boys before. He just...uhmm.. enjoyed having JinYoung around, kissing him, laughing with him, hugging him.

Babo. Isn’t that what love is? - he heard himself asking.

Mark reached for the phone and dialed JinYoung’s number. He didn’t got the reply immediately, properly because the black hair was busy panicking when seeing the incoming calls.

“Hello?”

“Uhm...hello?” - Mark got cold feet immediately. He tried to breathe and calm himself down.

“Uhm….” - JinYoung hummed as well, didn’t know what to say.

“Uhm….” - Mark swore they gonna stayed like this all day if neither of them made the move. - “Do you.. uhm… want to meet me… this afternoon.”

JinYoung couldn’t believe in his ears. Was Mark asking him out?

“Ah.. uhm…” - he was unsure what to say. What if Mark wanted to meet him just to reject him?

“Ah.. if you don’t want to…”

“I do. I do. Where will we meet?” - JinYoung said quickly, and mentally slapped himself for acting like a teenage girl with her first crush.

“The coffee down the street? 5pm okay?”

“Okay.”

“See you there, JinYoungie.”

“See you there Mark.” - they greeted formally before hanging up.

A/N: Miss me? Getting to the highlight of this fic already guys, what will happen next chapter is definitely.. uhm... surprising! =)) Comments and subscribe! Love ya all! *kiss*

p/s: Cuz I'm still high from MarkJin moment in the fansign T.T Isn't it so sweet!