Soft fingertips ghosting on his face painted a smile on JungKook's lips. He knew those fingers and  he missed that warmth. But then that belonged to... his eyes fluttered open and he bolted upright surprising SeokJin in the process.

"Why are you here?" he hoped his voice wasn't gruff and his tone not hopeful 

"Heard you haven't gone to school since..." jin said trailing off, his eyes on the baby blue duvet.

"What do you expect? That I'd go on with my life as if I get by my own boyfriend on a daily basis?" JungKook spat with expected malice. 

But it was all good pretense 

He wanted to take back those words but he can't. He needs Jin to get  angry, to give up and leave him. He can't let Jin linger close when he is trying to get over him. He loves Jin so much he'll believe every word, every gesture even when he knows the truth. 

"I'm sorry" SeokJin whispered, not  knowing the right words to say 

"Just leave me alone".the younger tilt his head, eyes trained on his lap 

"Don't worry, I will but I'll make sure you are okay before that. Then I'll never show up ever again if that's what you want. but let me take care of you for a while" Jin smiled bitterly as he stood up and left the room 

"Don't " he muttered silently but JungKook isn't sure if he was asking for the other to not care or for Jin to stay...

JungKook dragged him self to the kitchen to have breakfast that day. He had to. Jin threatened to bring him breakfast in bed if he doesn't. If you could call the sweet, caring tone he used as threatening. Breakfast in bed is like the most cliche romantic gesture in the book. No he wouldn't want to see the romantic pretty boy in Kim SeokJin. He can't or else he'll melt inside and be a puppy. But once he reached the kitchen  he had second thoughts. What is worse, Jin carrying a tray of food to his bedroom or the older in his pink apron just finished plating and currently wiping away imaginary sweat with a satisfied smile? And that Kim SeokJin catching him staring? JungKook could feel the heat of embarrassment creep up to his cheeks. He was supposed to be mad, irritated, just anything but flustered. He cleared his throat and took a seat, not replying to the older's sweet smile. But Jin has decided he won't break that easy. 

He started serving what he prepared. As always the food was wonderful but this time JungKook stopped his mouth for any praised. After finishing his food, JungKook rose wordlessly and headed back upstairs. 

"Kookie" the younger halt and suppressed a cringe at the nickname. ! The affection in the older's tone is creeping under his skin.

"Just because I ate breakfast doesn't mean we're okay. I just got hungry. Don't expect anything. " JungKook, stated flat cold. He was gulping, praying not to be caught affected by the sullen tone of the older. he wanted to turn and embrace Jin, but his heart needed a break.

"Oh, okay. I just...."

"The door is open" the younger can't stand it. Now he wanted to run away. His emotions are too crazy. One moment he is restraining himself from touching sin, then the next he despise his presence.

"I know. I understand that you hate me and you much rather not see my face. But I can't live not knowing if you are okay. I can't continue my life knowing that you stopped with yours. This is my fault. Everything you feel right now towards me, I'm to blame and I want to take responsibility" Jin sounded too sad, too sincere. Jungkook shut his eyes tight before turning towards the older with a blank expression 

"You think just because you feel guilty everything will be okay? Your guilt, and you 'taking responsibility' doesn't change anything. You still violated me and my will. You still forced yourself into me." 

Through time JungKook learned the one thing that ticks Jin off is constant reminder of something he doesn't like. So even though his heart clench as he watch the other's pained expression, JungKook held his pokerface. This is for the better, he thought. 

Jin didn't cry. He didn't let himself. It's only the start, he told him self. He have every right to be mad, SeokJin reasoned. Jin knew the younger could be worse. He promised to try. Try, if not to make the other love him at least he'll try to help JungKook back to his old self. Though right now he is trying hard not to cry. He rushed to slam his bedroom door shut. He took off his clothes and crawled under his pink, soft blanket. He bitterly laughed at his own thoughts. When did he even consider anything in this house his? The first time he stepped inside this mansion all he had was his clothes and his anger. Now leaving felt like tearing a part of himself. JungKook is now half of his heart, and that fact makes things so difficult. He pulled the blanket off of him. He wanted to feel the cold, the cold that match what he feels inside. The cold void inside him that only JungKook's warmth could fill. He stared at the glow-in-the-dark stars and remember that time JungKook thought he left and was scraping the poor things off the ceiling. He remembered that was the first time he saw how fragile the other was. He remembered how he promised to help the younger and  care for him. But instead he broke the poor boy once more. JungKook trusted him with his feelings and insecurities but he can't do the same and that's what ruined them. Warm streak of tears burned a line down his temple. He doesn't want to but now that he is alone he can't help but do cry. He ed up big time and he doesn't know how or if it's even possible for him to make amends. 

"I really -"

The opening of the door and the voice that halted in disturbing the peace made Jin bolt upright, staring wide eyed at his visitor. JungKook gave him a once over before opening his mouth. He tried a few times but no word escape the younger's mouth. In the end he just turned away and shut the door close as he left. 

JungKook rushed back to his room calling for NamJoon to follow inside.

"What's the matter?" The Butler monotonously asked after shutting the door close 

"I can't have him here. Make him go away".JungKook panics as he walk back and forth in front of him. It's actually kinda funny 

"Okay I'll call the guards to drag him out" NamJoon started to fish his phone out but the younger immediately waved the idea off 

"No! Not that! That'll be terrible! I... I want him to leave by himself. He isn't listening to me! Or call Tae! He did it before" JungKook hastily spoke. NamJoon is having a hard time keeping the laughter in. Seeing the younger lose composure this way is legit funny and amusing. But he needed to remain stern as he replied. 

"TaeHyung sshi was the one who drove SeokJin sshi back here" 

JungKook dropped himself heavy on the bed, flailing like a kid, with grunts of frustration.

"Argh! You know this is your fault! You told me to try, to let it go. you even made me watch frozen, I really liked Olaf! Look at this now! Damn it I'm in great . I'm deeply in love with Kim SeokJin!"

★★

It's a blur of days that includes nightly  dreams of Jin whispering 'I love you's to the younger's ear, the caress that pull JungKook  into the lovely depths of sleep, the warmth that envelopes him in the middle of the night and then the sweet lips that bids him goodbye before the break of dawn. It's hazy  but it felt so real. everything felt so real but when morning comes reality sets heavy in his chest. He is alone. Jin wasn't there. Was never there. Everyday JungKook would heave a sigh then stare at nothing for a long while. it would have been longer if he doesn't need to force himself out of bed before someone comes knocking all worried.

Acting all worried.

Everyday before he steps out of his room JungKook would remind himself that Jin should think about taking acting classes. He'll make a good actor. How he fakes his 'I love you's, his tears, his affection, his anger, his jealousy, it  was incredible. JungKook reminds himself of every lies. but he never reminds himself of that night Jin got drunk because in some twisted reasons, a blush creeps up  his cheeks whenever he pictures the older dominating him. He could force his anger, he could act cold but he wouldn't be able to stop his heart from racing for one Kim SeokJin. 

Everyday Jin is hopeful. Another day to make JungKook forgive him. He won't stop because for once eavesdropping got him good. He heard the younger's confession. Every time he remember, his confidence is boosts. Knowing JungKook still loves him, he knows he could try to break the angry facade and maybe get a second chance. He is drowning the other with affection though it hurts not to be returned he knows he must be patient. Every night he sneaks inside the younger's room for cuddles. He could only hold the younger in secret, in most nights that thought would make him tear up. Some nights the younger would wake up and Jin would panic. SeokJin would kiss him and try lulling him back to sleep by threading his fingers through JungKook's hair and giving him a light massage that calms him. Jin is quite certain that the  other doesn't remember or thinks it's a dream because when they pass by each other in the morning, JungKook would ignore him. As if he never pulled Jin closer and return a sleepy 'I love you too, so much' just the night before. 

The silent treatment faded as JungKook started to become verbal of his want to be left alone. It's hard for Jin to listen to his hurtful words and still believe that it was all a ruse and the younger truly loves him. But it's harder for JungKook to speak words that brings wetness to the eyes of his beloved. But he needed to because he can't continue forcing Jin to love him back. He is tired of getting hurt this way. His heart is beaten to the ground. One more heart break and he might just give up on everything. 

SeokJin just accepts it all. He is willing to endure much just to be beside JungKook but sometimes no matter how brave a soldier is, time will come that he knows he have to back down for he'll have no choice. And that came over Jin one breakfast

SeokJin climbed down the stairs gearing up for another battle. Warming up his heart for the hits today. Something halted him at the kitchen door. 

JungKook in uniform.

JungKook was having breakfast, wearing his uniform and a straight face. The younger looked up once he noticed. He blankly stared at Jin who was still frozen by the door. He snapped his fingers and a folder was handed with 'Kim SeokJin ' printed in bold letters in front. JungKook placed it at the table in front of Jin.

"That's everything. Your apartment, your contract with your modeling agency, your bank account and the receipt for your final year in school. All expenses paid, even your graduation fee with extra donation so you could have the front seat. your apartment?  Bought and is already in  your name so you'll never worry about rent. Just check your account to know how much the 'pleasure' of your stay was worth. No decrease for the emotional damage,  I chose to get attached, same with physical damage, it's not as if I'm all pure when you got your way with me."

"What?" Jin's mouth hanged open as he try to take in those words 

"This here is how we'll cut all ties. Once you walk out that door, that's it. And you did promise to go once I'm back to my old self. This is me before you. I throw things once I get tired of them"

JungKook spoke never once meeting the other's eyes. Jin could clearly see how difficult it was for the other and he wouldn't want to prolong the pain. He forced a smile which turned out as a pitiful, shaky one as he picked up the folder.

"See you in school" he almost whispered. He wanted to say a lot but can't processed proper thoughts as his mind was only running a single mantra 

'I'm losing him. I'm losing jungkook' 

JungKook's lips was closed in a hard line as he stopped his emotions from overriding his resolve.

"Let's not" the younger simply said, making Jin turn away with his hand covering his eyes. He knew his tears would soon fall and just prevented the other from seeing it. He wanted to be stronger. He doesn't want to give up. But he did promised and JungKook was truly making things hard.

Days painfully passed with JungKook avoiding the older coldly and Jin watching him secretly. SeokJin would sneak around the younger's classroom at breaks and be contented watching the other laugh with his friends. He'll quickly duck whenever the younger's eyes wonder near his camp. The soldier retreated but he didn't say that he'll never go back to the battlefield. He knew he could win with every stolen glances he catch. JungKook is careful but Jin is intuitive whenever eyes lay upon him. He'll catch the younger and it  etch a smile on Seokjin's face. JungKook would pretend but his blushes expose him red handed (or red-faced).

A clean slate. 

That's all Jin wanted, since the start. They'll forget about every bad things: the awful beginning, the cheating, the rough road, every bumps and sharp curves of complications...and of course the unlikely end. A new beginning, smooth and simple. If JungKook wasn't mad, if he'd just consider, SeokJin wanted to try, really. Right now it's a far dream but he'll keep hoping. He'll creep back to the other's life, slow but sure.

JungKook always catch SeokJin trying to be conspicuous. He does, he just pretends he doesn't. Like how he pretends that  he doesn't want to get caught staring when he actually does his best to be clumsy. He didn't want Jin around so he could move on. That's true. He wanted to move on because he didn't want to need Jin and make him stay because he have to, the older must want to. And with the effort SeokJin was putting in all the spy games JungKook's hope was afire once more. He keeps putting it out, wanting to take care  of his heart better this time, but Jin fueling it everyday turns that into a  chore. With such flames he'd fall back with a simple 'I love you'. 

☆☆

December means Seokjin's birthday, and also TaeHyung's (the alien might throw a feat if not mentioned ). JungKook often tap his feet in disjointed rhythm, like he was sending a Morse code but it's only anxiety so the government has nothing to worry about. He is waiting, always looking out the door. He is waiting for Jin to talk to him, invite him or some sort. Yes he tried to push the older away, but it's a birthday. SeokJin made his birthday memorable, special. JungKook wanted to do the same for the older. A happy memory they could both keep, even when they aren't dating anymore. He thought about making the first move with the excuse of wanting to set scores. But he opted to wait for a while. 

2nd of December, as JungKook was weighing reasons while staring out the window, arms were suddenly wrapped around his waist. Familiar arms, familiar warmth then the familiar voice spoke so near his ears the assailant's breath made him shiver 

"Did you miss me, Kookie?" he kissed the younger's temple before gently biting the tip of JungKook's earlobe just enough to make that tingle to run through the younger's body. JungKook's mind was suddenly blank, his knees like jell-o. He was biting his lower lip before forcing words out of his mouth. 

"Hyu-hyung..." JungKook stuttered, this isn't how he pictured this scene and he is disappointed at how his body betrayed him.

"Hmm?" The older teasingly hummed 

"TaeJoon hyung" 

Tbc....

Q and A! 

Q: would you write any toppdogg  fics?

A:

Hansol: Please don't give her any idea! She ships me with /whispers/ Kidoh Hyung 

Kidoh: HANSOLIE! /tackled Hansol to a bear hug/

Author: no.... not yet! 😁

Q: how about JiKook? 

Author: /serious mode, with philharmonic playing as BGM / truthfully I don't ship Jin and Kookie with anyone else. Aside from occasional SugaKookie and SeKook. SeKook! Woooohhh! Please don't start asking about Namjin or Vkook. They make my heart hurt. It's just JinKook for me. I'm sorry

Q: What could Kim TaeHyung say about sparks?

A: 

V: there is no such thing as sparks between two people. Unless one of them is burning man, dumb . If you want continues combustion I can set you on fire any day

JiMin: excuse his manners. He have no romance in his body.

V: /tackled JiMin/ if you so believe that, then let's look for sparks. Heard it especially comes from things heated by friction. We could create lots of friction in my bedroom /le winks/ 

Q: V, what do you think about forever?

A: 

V: forever? Seriously? Sparks, now forever? Who thinks of such questions? There is no such thing as forever... aside from Jimin's height. Better yet, his lack of.... /smirk/

JiMin: then there is forever! /backhug/

V: /blush and whispers/ Maybe 

JiMin: /runs/ yoongi-ah, forever does exist! Tae said so! I'll love you forever, Min YoonGi! 

V: ! Q_Q

Q: did Jin try like Hyosang's  advice or did he take time to recover?

A: 

Jin: I was waiting for the right time.

V: he was waiting for Kookie to color his hair pink. Or Maybe for hunhan to get back together. *hunhan glare*

Sehun: Maybe he's waiting for baekyeol to get married, Oh wait aren't they?

V: /glared hissing/ my parents divorced long ago, so what?

JiMin: /whispers to j-hope/ he is so pissy, is he pregnant? 

J-hope: but...but... we haven't done anything, I swear! We're not even married yet!

V: so you do want to marry me /smirks/

Jin: thought this question was about me...(￣︿￣) .../sigh/

JungKook: you wanna get pregnant too? /gave a y smile/

Jin: /gulped/  

JungKook: YES! 

A/N: sorry for the late stuff... I have extra lessons and they are eating up my free time. T.T BUT hey see TaeJoon? XD What can you say about the comeback of the ex? Hehe... massive Thanks to you lots! Love you guys, you really read it even when the last chappie gave trouble in turning privy...  I speak weird today, sorry!

But really Thanks and looking forward to your feedbacks. The Q and A turned a bit V-centric...  XD 

a/n: I'm an awful person aren't I? T.T