Leave 

The first thing he did was run to the bathroom and throw up. 

Jin washed his face, his head hurts and all he could remember was ... was what he heard and how he tried to get soooo drunk he'll forget about it. But he didn't, though he can't  remember what happened next. He went into the bed room and noticed the bundle that has been lying beside him before he dashed out.

 He gulped.

 Did something happened last night? Did JungKook's plan occurred? but he couldn't feel it, he isn't sore, though his waist does hurt. His muscles too. As if he did something intensive. He tiptoed to the cocooned figure and slowly unraveled the truth. His eyes widen when he saw JungKook's hands bound on the headboard by a familiar necktie. 

It was his. 

His anger from the words he heard the night before washed away as he felt his heart ache as he released his beloved. The porcelain skin now marred by dark and reddish splats. The tie  was too tight there were little lacerations. He doesn't like what he sees and he is afraid of what he assumes. 

Was he the one who hurt JungKook? 

He checked further with feather light touch to not wake the younger. There were scattered hickeys and bruised hand prints. He even tried to compare it with his grip. Perfect fit. It made his stomach flipped. As if he's going to throw up again. He brushed the fringes stuck on the younger's forehead. JungKook groaned and his eyebrows furrowed. His expression is pained, Jin doesn't even want to imagine how he feels. 

Jin noticed his phone on the floor. He picked it up and plugged it in since it's drained. He opened it and went straight to messages... nothing suspicious. Then to gallery. He found a series of photos of him and JungKook in lip lock. But it wasn't cute or romantic. It looked reluctant. The younger's eyes were shut tight as if he's getting hurt. SeokJin didn't recognized the brusque man holding his boyfriend too tight. The man in the photo makes his hand shake in hatred, anger,.. shame. It's impossible. He'll never hurt JungKook, at least not intentionally in his right mind. But the evidence are  too strong. 

Then there's a video. 

Jin played it. It started with them both on the frame. It was after the photos. The phone was dropped and the camera was blocked, it was all dark but sounds were recorded. 

"Hyung you are drunk and possibly drugged, please just let me put you to bed"

"Ani, hyung what are you talking about?" JungKook almost stuttered. He was afraid. After a a few seconds there were pained groans. 

"It's the 7th night. Are you throwing me away after tonight? Or will you toss  me to your friends first? Since it's our last night I believe I deserve to get things my way" was that him? He almost didn't recognized his own voice. He sounded so cold. So frightening. He heard the bed creak 

"Jeon JungKook you are not the only man in this relationship. Yes I'm a when it comes to men. But you are not the first one I'm gonna . You want a beast in bed? You'll get it tonight baby. I'm not your princess anymore. You won't forget this night"

"Hyu-hyung! Please! Hyung!"

"Shut up you ing rich "

"Hyung stop, Please! Hyung it  hurts! Aaahh! Hyung"

"You spoiled little bastard should know that it's not fun for you all the time. ! you are tight"

"Aaahh! Hyung it hurts! It hurts... Please stop...stop~… Hyung~~"

"Argh! ing tight! ing little ! ! ! I ing hate you!"

Then it was all curses from him. And JungKook's cries. The boy was crying the whole time . He was crying and pleading him to stop. He did till his voice was cracking and gruff. 

He turned it off. He doesn't want to  hear more. His tears run down his face uncontrollably but he didn't notice and didn't mind. The memories flood him and more than the headache, the clenching in his chest is more unbearable. He was a monster. How could he have done that? No one deserves to be forced, to be . SeokJin loathed  Hyosang for what he tried but he himself did it. He is no more than what he hates. Hypocrite bastard. He turned to his sleeping angel again. The angel he ruined. He broke his wings, he broke him. Because of what? Some words he heard that didn't even come from the younger's own mouth. He went ahead and drank even with the knowledge that he turns uncontrollable when drunk. He kissed the younger's forehead. He made his decision. 

He is leaving. 

'I'm not worthy' SeokJin thought as he touched JungKook's lips. He smiled bitterly, trying to memorize the other's every feature.

'This might be the last' 

☆

"What are you doing here?" YoonGi stopped in his tracks as JiMin beamed his 1000 Watt smile. 

"Picking you up and driving you to work"

YoonGi just finished his training for the day and he was welcomed by the boy with the prettiest eye smile he'd seen and the luxurious car JiMin parked in front of the building, which  is attracting attention that made him turn here and there, conscious of every eyes on them.

"You don't have to" he quietly said but the shorter boy caught it

"I want to. And I said I won't interfere with your goals while making you fall in love with me so I'm trying to make it easy for you"

JiMin noticed what the other was wearing. he removed his scarf and wrapped it around the orange-haired who got all red even in stunned state. YoonGi bowed his head a bit hearing people start to murmur. 

"People are staring" 

Jimin internally did a victory dance  as he noticed the blush on the older's face getting darker. YoonGi is so cute when he is shy and the tint of embarrassment on his face looks so beautiful it makes JiMin want to kiss him, or even just a hug will do.

"Because we are a beautiful couple" he happily declared 

"But we aren't a couple" another whisper from the orange-haired 

JiMin stepped closer and leaned his face so close his every breath become warm puffs that hits the older's face 

"Not yet, but soon" he softly said like a promise 

YoonGi hears the whispering got louder. He decided to pull JiMin to the car for escape 

"L-let's just go".he stuttered, dragging the other. JiMin followed mindlessly as he stared at the hand wrapped around his wrist, his smile got impossibly brighter.

★

 Jungkook was still under him. The younger was frozen, he remember, he remember this feeling like it was just yesterday.

He remembered how he was tied like this. Someone's tongue forced inside his mouth, a rough hand grabbing his manhood. He remembered how he felt violated. It wasn't Jin when he was thirteen. But like when he was thirteen, he cried. He pleads him to stop. And once again, like when he was thirteen, his cries fell on deaf ears.  

Jin kept on pounding on him. Yes he was hitting his prostate and it makes some pleasured moans to slip in between his pleading. But it just adds to his feeling of dejection. He is getting abused, and he is enjoying it. He is disgusting. It was shame that kept his tears running though his body is giving in to the older's ministrations. It was a battle between his painful memories and his raging hormones. He wanted to get away, close his legs at least but SeokJin's grip was tight. He stared at his princess. The princess he adored is gone, he became this man JungKook doesn't know and doesn't like. But he stopped speaking when he realized, he was the one who made the monster out of Jin. It was his fault why the older is raging, why he lost himself to hate, why he is abusing him. It was his fault. Hot tears doesn't seem to cease even a bit. Then he heard the most painful phrase 

"I ing hate you"

Then he woke up, sweat trickling down his forehead. He winced when his sudden movement sent jolts down his behind. Yeah, he was ed. After a long time he bottomed again, even out of his will. It wasn't his first. TaeJoon never bottomed, well that time JungKook haven't thought of being top. He would have laughed at the thought if he didn't notice the empty space beside him.

 Of course Jin left. 

They all do.

 The reason why JungKook promised never to bottom for anyone ever again is because he learned the nature of men. Once they get their pleasure they'll leave you like you're a dingy rag doll. He pulled his legs up against his chest. His face in between. He thought his tears have dried last night but there they are again. On top of the pain and shame, he is crying because he still wants Jin. Here he goes again. Head over heels in love and ready to play the fool. If SeokJin only wants him for what he could give then he's ready to give everything just to have him. If the older would only use him in his nights, he is ready to give up his body any time just to feel him. He bitterly laughed. All this time he thought he have changed, that he is stronger but he is still that pathetic child he has always been.

☆★☆

"I should really be going home" Hoseok finally stood up after almost an hour of staying in his 'fiance's ' bedroom.

"Sleep with me" the blond boy who strut around the room without talking to him suddenly spoke, folding his arms against his chest, eyes stern as he meet gaze with j-hope 

"What? I don't want to" Hoseok declined with incredulity in his tone.

"I mean , in case you misunderstood. You absolutely misunderstood or else you wouldn't say no" TaeHyung rolled his eyes. No one rejects him, that would be impossible.

"No, I know what you were saying. Why would I... why would I do that with you?" Hoseok frowned, of course he understood. He isn't stupid. 

He asked to see TaeHyung because he wanted to talk about SunMi. He discovered his girlfriend... err ex, do have other affairs but the blond boy wasn't one so he wanted to ask how he knew, why he helped. But suddenly he got tangled with the stranger's issues.

"You don't seem like a person with much interest in money since you spend for someone worthless, and threats? I don't do threats I just take actions. So all I could give in return of you pretending is . You should consider yourself lucky. Just how many times would you have a chance to get someone of my caliber in bed?" TaeHyung nonchalantly pointed out and it offended Hoseok. 

"Is this really how you ask for help?" His grimace was obvious, he doesn't appreciate the other's tone after the help he gave that day 

"I'm not asking. I'm telling you"

and that ticked him off. He can't deal with an ungrateful brat right now. YoonGi texted him saying Jin is at their doorstep, crying. His friend needs him. 

"I'm sorry, I'm done. And I won't have... I won't do that with you. Making love is done with special people. I want to do it with someone I'm in love with. And besides I'm straight" 

TaeHyung tsk-ed, 

"You live in the gayest apartment I've seen with a Disney princess fanatic and you dated a 16 year old Justin Bieber in a wig. You are not gay. Sure."

"Goodbye " Hoseok hissed and made an attempt for the door but TaeHyung suddenly tugs at his wrist and made sure his lips landed on  the other's own. Hoseok gasped in surprise and V  took the chance to get his sly tongue in the other's mouth. He pulled the other by the nape to deepen the kiss and his thigh pressed in between the older's legs. Hoseok felt the warm blood rushing to his face and somewhere else below the belt. But he is too flushed to act. TaeHyung pulled away with a smirk 

"Straight huh. Then why are you blushing? And someone down there is having a HARD time resisting" the blond's eyes trailed down to Hoseok's evident 'turn on' 

Jung Hoseok  has never encountered someone  as aggressive before and everything makes him feel daze. Things happen  too fast. One minute he is single then the next he is engaged. One second they were just talking then they are kissing. And worst: one moment he was straight, after a kiss... is he still? 

★★

"Guys 15 minutes break. SeokJin sshi can I have a moment" Hyosang announced after noticing how unfocused, and reluctant the poses looked. Jin hasn't uttered a single word since the start of the shoot. He believed it's not about him since the other hasn't sent a single deadly glare.

Everyone in the room left knowing what the 'break' meant.

Kidoh sat beside his ex-best friend who slumped his back in one of the chairs. He wanted to comfort him  but afraid of the expected rejection.

"Hey, problem?" Kidoh asked even when he could foresee a 'none of your business' or simple silence. It surprised him when the other spoke.

"How'd you do it?"

"Huh?"

"After... after what you tried how'd you faced me and asked for forgiveness countless times?" 

It was just yesterday but Jin already missed JungKook. He want to be by his side but he knew he shouldn't. After what he did he have no right to even look at the boy he love. It's torture for him .but he knew he deserve the pain. He wanted to forget so he dragged his feet to the shoot. He thought he could fool his mind by getting himself busy but his brain just kept on replaying JungKook's cries and pleas.

" Because I can't lose you. I'm still trying to hold on to you. I know what I did was wrong. I should have controlled myself. But i can't just run away. I need to explain i need to make you understand and hope you forgive me so we can go back to how we were. I need you to stay in my life so i'm persistent." Kidoh was sincere with every word. 

Now that Jin thinks about it, his ex best friend is really brave. He wants to be brave as well, brave to come back and apologize 

"Need. I need him too. But I'm afraid he'll push me away. I'm afraid he'll hate me, he'll turn away. I'm afraid I can't take it if he did what I did to you".he confessed.

 It's Kidoh who'll understand. He won't judge because he almost did the same before.

"People have different reactions to things. He might or might not be as angry as you think. You'll just need to try"

"it's funny. I want to hate you but I can't anymore. I realized anyone can make mistakes and hurt people. Even the ones they love the most. . What should I do?" 

As the ex-best friend Kidoh knew what the closed eyes and lip biting meant. 

Jin needed to hide.

 SeokJin is at  his weakest and he needs warmth. Hyosang did what he usually do back then. He wrapped his arms around Jin, making sure the other's face is hidden at the crook of his neck so Jin could cry safely. He rubbed Jin's back and after a few SeokJin let his guard down and he hugged back, tightly. 

As much as he hated it, Jin cried. He resent himself for what he did but what makes it worst is the thought of not seeing JungKook. Even if given a chance he doesn't know how to look into those beautiful eyes without guilt and thoughts of loathing from the younger.

 SeokJin needed air so he emerged his face and opened his eyes. Puffy eyes takes time. In his blurry sight a figure made him see clear. Even with just the silhouette he knew that person. He memorized every curve. Those pretty hands that caressed him a million times, those legs that tangled with his every morning, that neck that became his comfort place, those hips that takes him to heaven with every move and that face that now spells ..

Utter devastation. 

Jin hastily wiped his tears away to be sure. He pulled away from the hug and just wordlessly gawk at the boy whose lips are quivering and eyes b with unshed  tears. 

"JungKook " he called out. It  came out weak, too soft but enough to snap the younger awake. JungKook turned away and walked out of the door.

SeokJin wanted to run after him but he was rooted by doubts and scenarios in his head that never goes the happy end. Destructive ideas are plaguing his mind until a tap on his shoulder burst the dark bubble. His eyes landed on Jin Hyosang's smiling face as he says 

"Kim SeokJin, you need to try"

Tbc... wait!

Q&A 

@namyoongi: why did Hyosang tried to jin?

Kidoh: because..I..I like him /~>_<~/ this is so unfair though. I didn't intend to and I didn't even get to take his shirt off but Jin hated me so much. This is so unfair. And author said I'll be out of the story soon. I just got here! I just made up with my Seokjinnie! Wae? Wae? Wae?

JungKook: because he is mine! /punches Kidoh/

Kidoh:.but... but... I'm your hyung 

Jin: Kookie say sorry to him

JungKook: but... but...

Jin: now, or I will sleep in my own room tonight

JungKook:  sorry hyung /whispers/ but Jin is still mine 

@OlinCarolyn: who'll be the first to fall in love V or J-hope?

V: obviously it's him, everybody loves me /everyone stares at him then to JiMin / shut up!

J-hope: he kissed me! And he used his tongue!

V: you liked it /smirks/

Suga: you won't get answers from this two. Tss.  /suddenly gets back hug from JiMin/

JiMin: when will you fall in love with me?

Suga: /blush/

@rehcord: Im TaeJoon, is he a kpop idol or something?

Author: eheh..  sorry but he isn't. He is an OC.  But if you want reference it would be Kim MyungSoo of infinite!  he gives me Taejoon feels. His smile is so sweet but damn that boy could smirk... you'll know why I chose him to be TaeJoon... soon. XD 

@ everyone: Jin tops? 

Author: some people reacted strongly about Jin topping. Haha! Sorry it was just needed for the plot but it won't happen again

Jin: what? Why?

JungKook: hyung! You want to... again?/looks down/

Jin: uh... erm... i didn't mean...

JungKook: /starts to shirt and whispers/ it's okay if you want to

Author: get a room guys! /shove them out/

A/N: I just tried to lighten things up with little skits in Q&A.. XD..  I know it's a failure but I tried....

angst coming up. Just a few chappies I think. Hahahaha! I guess people are getting tired of this plot already. I've got lots of things to add but I might rush this a bit if you guys want it to end soon. 

BTW. I might write another JinKook after this. Haha! I just never learn. I'm not a good writer just someone with lots of feels but I still write eii .. 

The more you comment the faster I get ma feels out... i'm not demanding hehe it's just something i noticed.. XD LOVE LOTS!