'So, in other words, you just stare at her for the whole night. Once, it was six in the morning, you made her french toast, left a post it to notify her of the breakfast you made and then left the tided apartment by 7:45? Through all that, you are absolutely certain that she is never going to appear in your life again?' she summarized the whole past encounter.

'I am a pawn that she has been consciously ignoring. Yesterday's encounter will do nothing more and nothing else. It just cemented the fact that we will always be drowned by the what ifs.' The unaccepted conclusion of my encounter with Jessica is revealed. Our eyes met once more. 'So even if she goes away, I may always love her.' I say those emotional words indifferently. 'You clinging on the past events will not changed the set outcomes of today. One can accpet illusion but can't change reality's truth. This is life. One that you must come to accpet.' The younger one's words of wisdom are appreciated but is knowingly not digested.

I could only look down in shame. 'Unnie. You thread on such thine lines. You being a scarecrow will not cure the unhealthy crop that disrupts your health.' The brutality of her honesty causes heart aches. My heart feeling every grain of her salty vocalised words. 

'Seo. If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.' I spoke clearly. 'I believe in those words. It is way easier to be lost in the fog of ignorant optimism. It is my bubble that I pray my greed for an abnormal happily ever after. Don't pop the bubble.' The tears weilding up as I spoke. 'Seo. I strongly feel that I'm not logical. Seeing her, sending myself away, knowing that I have to move on, all those notions of becoming better without her hurts. If I do break free, maybe the fall to the ground will cause me to splatter. I'm not ready for such ultimatum with regards to life.' 

She didn't have a response. For once, she didn't analyse me as our eyes locked onto each other. Seo Juhyun, the lady, was simply feeling my vulnerability. 'Help me.' The words shakly left my lips. A weak smile, she stands up and walks towards me. Pulling me into her embrace, she kisses the top of my forehead. In her arms, I broke down. The pain of the present washing over me like those nonchalent waves crashing on the shore. 

'Well that escalated quickly.' I joked as the emotions has become a little more stable. 'Boarderline bipolar disorder.' She says as she soothingly my hair. 'An evolved depression.' I reply back. 'Yes. The waters are becoming too murky for my intelligence to navigate.' she admits. I didn't want to provide some form of agreement to that statement. 'Let's go get ice cream.' I quickly blurted. My intend of changing the topic was strong. Maybe she sensed my discomfort as no further words on that were exchanged.

When we reached the store, all I could focus on were the sweet treats. She didn't join in my enthusiasm. Seo stood by the door and watch me. Sitting on the bench and watching the many people walking by, I couldn't think of a beautiful qoute. Knowing that yesterday will be the last of the time we had alone till she decide otherwise, knowing that I may always love her and her alone, knowing that I can't go back in time, knowing all the little facts, I only sat there in silence.