'First meeting leaves the greatest impression. No wonder Dorothy Boyd had Jerry Maguire at hello. No wonder Willis and Todorov wrote that bloody journal about how individual make up their mind after 100ms exposure to a face. Nothing every make sense to me. Psychology had provided me with an in depth look into the workings of a being yet I'm stump and baffled by my own stupidity. I’m just a fish beside the crashing waves on seashore, barely getting by.' I state indifferently as I set my offered cup down. She barely flinches at my brutal honesty. Maybe to her, the words I spew is simply a mess caused by a toddler who doesn't know better. 

I eye her perfect posture. 'Do you love the lady who confessed?' I ask abruptly. Nothing I say from this point on shall have correlation. All words that creates sentence may be independent of logic. 'I havent derive to a conclusion. After you left that day, I sat there searching and classifying every emotion that could be recalled. Still I do not know. The surrounding variables do cloud my pure intention of discoverying love.' She replies with precision. None of the words she had said was a word unintended. A brilliance. I can only smile. 

'Don't rush it. I guess. I don't know why I came over like this. It wasn't a thought through plan. At times, my impulse behaviour snatches the steering wheel and commands the body.' I explained myself without any prompting. ‘I am aware of how unconventional us will be.’ She simply answers. I wonder if I am the party with the sweeter candy? Seo Juhyun. My head pronounces her name with clarity.

If it is by fate that we are acceptive of this insantiy then what is there left to be held back? With the crazy that weilds the blade, cutting away all the sound nerves, what do I lack of in free falling into her standard arms? ‘Dr Kim?’ she softly calls. I blink once. Refocusing my vision onto her features, I must admit she is a lady of beauty. ‘Sorry the mind wanders.’ I excused my period of drifting. ‘Why wander?’ she questions.

‘I don’t know.’ I replied upon reflex. ‘Are you lost?’ she asks. Stumped by her sudden agrressive question, I sat there quiet. Looking at her clear eyes, I somehow could not forge words that could answer. ‘Dr Kim. What are you thinking of?’ another question delivered. My eyes blinks in confusion. ‘Kim Taeyeon shi, who are you?’ My lips dried up. Our gaze locked, pespiration coldly forms behind my neck. My full name respectfully called out.

She didn’t speak. The silence lingers. ‘Who am I?’ I mumbled her question. ‘I…’ The sole syllabus leaves then fades out. Suddenly she stands. I watch her giant frame stand over me. With a hand below my chin, she holds my head slightly tilted to meet her gaze. Next she leans in and kisses my forehead. ‘There’s matter in these sighs, these profound heavens. You must translate.’ She qoutes from Hamlet. ‘The intelligence you hold are shaky foundation in building the walls that cages your dark interest.’ She added. Her hand that made warmth by contact leaves.

A look of worry cast upon me. ‘I fear I’m not worthy Dr Kim.’ She expresses. Startled, I just kept looking at her. She proceeded to take a seat beside me. ‘Dr Kim, exactly what is it that I must decipher? I can feel the seriousness of the matter but can’t explain it in science. Furthermore, I can barely locate the point that disturbs me. It is the first time I’m encountering self doubt in my intelligence. That simply provokes nothing but grave worry about our arrangement. I’m not saying I’m backing out. I just truly want to help to the best of my abilities.’ It was the first time, she had spoken without looking at me in the eye.

‘I…’ I conjure the simple vowel. ‘I am a victim attempting to understand my .’