I saw her. She was seated on another table. Surprisingly, she came with no one by her arm. Wearing a sweet pink mini dress, I must say she looks divine. Still despite all the praises I had conjure up in my head, the silence that had stabbed the heart is prevalent. I didn’t dare move forward, couldn’t even speak the first syllabus of your name. I am still the same fool that knows you in memory but would never be brave enough to hold you.

A sharp poke to my side made me straighten up and for the rest of the vision to become clear. ‘I’m against this whole set up.’ She says in frustration. I turn to face Sunny. ‘If we all held pitchforks, then this wedding will be ringing in the doors of hell.’ I replied. Her disapproval was evidently persistent. ‘Lee Soonkyu, she left and now she is here on the bride’s invitation.  We aren’t here to hold the torches of righteousness, in fact I think we are invited here to put the past behind us.’ I concluded. She eyes me and hits at how shallow my own words seem to resound in my sensitive ears.

‘I’m not trying to give an image of a fairytale, perfect, everything else, I am just being myself.’ I murmured back in defense. She smirks. I don’t understand her response. ‘An extract from Rebecca Loos. That is where you brilliant head is quoting? Seriously. Kim Taeyeon, you can voice out all those words that your head can spin. Yet, we all know, when she comes she is just a tornado savaging your puny brain.’ I pouted at her. Damn her for being a friend who knows me too well. Damn her.

The clear sound of glass being hit echoes. We paused our conversation. I am frankly not wishing for any resuming. His best man stood up and begun his speech. The signal that the blinders are on and I’m soon to be that wild horse, sent shivers. All the beautiful description accompanied the perfect sentence structure, all just passing noises being buzzed around the parameter.

He clears his throat amidst the claps of appreciation. I exhaled. Then stood up. Looking around the area, I searched for eyes that may calm the ragging anxiety. I caught Fany mouth ‘fighting.’ A smile naturally appears. One across my dry lips, I close my eyes briefly. When they opened again, I was ready.

‘Today, I see the happiness that is emitting from my dearest. We spent plenty of times together. Some good, some bad, some I can’t reveal. I’m not a great speaker but I am great at quoting the brilliance of another. So from the sheer amazing being, Leonardo Da Vinci, I quote, the noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding.’ I paused for a moment. Just beaming as I watch the glow that surrounds the happy couple.

With a widen grin, I continued, ‘I can ensure you that I didn’t understand this union. Being a friend of hers, I am fully aware of her flaws. Yet in time, I came to comprehend, their flaws complement. It wasn’t that they, together, are perfection. It was that their willingness to change for a better tomorrow together that is flawless. It was the fact they both could fully understand the wonders of them as a ‘we’ instead of a ‘you’ and ‘I’ that makes this couple that sits before us beautiful. So as she takes his hand, as she had said her vow, as he put a ring, securing the unbreakable bond, I understand. Their love, like them is a pure fighter of the good.’

Somehow my eyes shifted. My gaze locking onto her hazel ones.  ‘I often wish we all could have such courage, such boldness. to confidently embrace love. I wished I had their spirit in confronting the obstacles against their love.  As like them, I hold hope that we all will be able to experience the best gift that has been bestowed onto the living.’ I blinked my eyes. Somehow our eyes being locked with each other was getting a little stifling. I face the happy couple once more. ‘I sincerely thank the union of these two souls.  I end with a quote by Oscar Wilde. Dear Fany, keep love in your heart.’ We shared a smile. My head drops as I whisper, ‘I love you.’ Once more, they are my unheard words.  

The sounds of two hands crashing are heard. I took my seat. ‘Idiot.’ I hear sunny scold. Still she simply takes my hand under the table. Rubbing the back of my palm with her thumb. A single droplet rolls down.