i have no description for this one

sorry for my absence on these drabbles i havent written much at all lately (damn writers block. damn exams. i cry) i mean, even this one was written like... over a month ago. i just felt i should post it now so i wasn't leaving you guys hanging for tooooo long

It’s at night when Taehyung breaks.

Jungkook and the hyungs are all asleep as Taehyung quietly steals away, quickly shutting himself away in the bathroom. The door clicks loudly in the darkness and Taehyung takes it as his cue to let go.

He curls himself into a ball in the corner of the room, his knees pulled tight against his chest as the first tears of the night begin to form. His eyes sting and the back of his nose burns when he tries to hold them back, so he decides to let them fall.

Next comes the choked sobs, muffled behind his hand in fear of waking the other members. The members - his brothers, his family - who he can’t let hear his cries. He doesn’t want to worry them, can’t worry them.

It’s hard, so hard, being V of BTS. He knew it wouldn’t be easy but he never banked on this. The hours upon hours of sleep lost due to practice, the number of holidays not spent with his parents because he needed to appear at an awards show, the loss of his favourite foods through dieting.

He couldn’t complain - at least not aloud - because he was on the rise. He couldn’t do that to his other members, couldn’t be the whiney member to bring down their reputation, when they had worked so hard for their dreams.

It was difficult trying to keep a smile, he realised while he sniffled. At first, it was easy. He was doing what he loved, what he wanted to do and he had so many wonderful people around him, supporting him every second of the day. It was nice.

Someone could only act a certain way for a limited time. He was weird by nature and he knew it, but being weird wasn’t his full personality. He had so much swirling inside him, so much love, so many emotions, so many ideas, but it was too late now. He had made a name for himself. He was the 4D member, the ‘alien’. He had to keep it up. He had to perform. It was his job after all.

He loved his job, but sometimes he just wanted to be Kim Taehyung, not V of BTS.

Jungkook knows best, the trouble of having to perform. He was the Golden Maknae, the one who was good at everything, Taehyung had comforted the youngest countless times when he felt he wasn’t good enough, when he messed up, when he felt it wasn’t worth it.

Taehyung wasn’t surprised it was Jungkook who slipped soundlessly into the bathroom, Jungkook who sat down next to him and pulled Taehyung into his side.

Jungkook was the best comfort, Taehyung decided as he cried into the maknae’s shoulder, a hand softly petting his hair, a quiet voice shushing him. Jungkook was always so rough with them, always trying to be seen as adult, but the way he held Taehyung was gentle. Taehyung couldn’t remember feeling this safe.

Yet, nothing much changed. Jungkook still laughed at Taehyung when Jimin nearly pushed him off his seat, still joined Taehyung for an episode of their current anime during their free time, still acted like himself.

But if the small smiles when the other members weren’t looking and the secret touches were anything to go by, Taehyung knew that maybe not everything was the same. Not that he was complaining.

hopefully i'll be up to writing again soon.... in the meantime, there is this :D