Evana’s fingers dragged over the medicine counter. She stiffened, her fingers feathering over the labels and dancing over the long words. She hated the pharmacy but it was a regular visit. Without a seconds wait, she let out a small “Ah” and plucked out the thin capped bottle on the top shelf to the left. She spun it around in her fingers, making sure it was the right one.

She had bought the medication thousands of times and this wasn’t something new. Still, she felt weary and nervous every time and her heart skipped a beat whenever she was forced to purchase the drug.

“All done?” The old woman at the counter spoke, her speech cutting knives through Evana’s throat. She was in no rush.

“Sure.”

Taking another quick breath, she walked over to the counter and dropped the bottle. Apothincine 040 it read in italics and was bolded across the front. Do not take unless prescribed by a doctor. Another useless rule she didn’t follow. For sleep increasing and pain relieving. Stupid labels.

“You take these a lot.” The woman started her voice heavy with some sort of drowsy muck. Evana guessed she hadn’t had a break in a while. “Sleeping problems?”

Evana’s breath hitched in and the question caught her off guard for a millisecond. She shook her head quickly, dropping a solid bill on the glassy counter surface. With one swift grasp, she took the bottle in her hands and shoved it in her winter coat.

“You’re not friendly with strangers I see,” The woman laughed, punching in a few buttons to unlock the cash register. Evana watched as the woman slid the money into a thin slit and began counting change, “Quite ironic since you see me almost every month.”

“Sorry, I’m just…tired,” She lied, sticking her palm out to collect the change.

The coins were cold and hard, lifeless almost. Nothing compared to the hot lively blood rushing through her veins, rushing down her arm.

She was in no rush.

“Have a nice day lovely,” The woman smiled. Evana let out a faint nod, a sort of thank you for finally shutting up.

She pulled the hood of her coat over her brown curls, buttoning the fur jacket until she could barely speak. She held open the door of the pharmaceutical shop, a cold brush of wind touching her face and peppering her with soft, delicate kisses.

“And girl,” The woman spoke, “I really, truly do hope you start to sleep well.”

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No one knew, no one asked. And so Evana never had to explain. It was easier that way actually. She never put any effort in telling the story because it seemed like no one wanted to know. Quite frankly, the only person that actually took the slightest bit of interest in her past was the old talks-a-lot that worked at the pharmacy.

If anyone did ask and genuinely wanted to know, she would recount the story event by event, minute by minute.

Memory by memory.

She would begin telling them that it was a stormy, rainy, thunder rumbling kind of night. The night where you wanted to do nothing but curl up in your bed and read a magazine or two. The night where you had a cup of tea beside you and cozy novel on your bedside. But this was one of the stormy, rainy nights where she wanted to be wide awake, eyes open and seeing everything. This was the night she couldn’t wait for her 16^th birthday. She was eager to stay up all night; every minute passing meant she was a whole minute closer to adulthood, to freedom. To her, that meant staying out late, staying up late and going out…with boys in particular. This was the day she had been waiting for all her life and no storm or rain was going to drain her excitement. Not this year.

She would then proceed to tell them that her parents were bundled up by the door, it was almost midnight and they were going out to buy her birthday cake. She had insisted on going with them but they refused. With a few forced tears and some role-play, she was able to convince them to take her along with them. She was all bundled up in her favourite jumpsuit and raincoat, her rain boots slushing around in the puddles. She even remembered the laugh her dad gave whenever she splashed some water on her mother’s new dress.  

She would then explain how she got in the car, her seatbelt on and smiling. Everything after was a huge blur and she remembered whining in the mall, on the verge of tears wanting her mother to buy the chocolate cake instead of vanilla. She remembered the cash being put on the table and the store clerk patting her head giving her a small “Happy early birthday”.

Everything else that happened at the store in her mind blanked after that.

She would then go on to say she was back in the car, this time changing her seat to one on the left instead of the right. She would explain how the cake was positioned neatly beside her. She would talk about the occasional glance at it, smiling proudly as she waited to arrive home.

Then she would skip to the part that was the most vivid in her mind. The part she could explain bit by bit.

The part where she glanced over the empty seat locket at her father’s side. She frowned, telling him to put it on. He refused and she began to cry, telling him about a documentary she watched in class and how important seatbelts were just in case something happened. He refused. And when he said to her clearly and audibly, “Nothing is going to happen baby,” and then they stopped at a red light. She would say she got a small itch, uh-oh feeling in the back of her head and her heart began to excel. She felt a small tingling rush of heat as she looked up at the traffic light, its bright red eyes staring back at her, mocking her, telling her “Don’t move”.

And then she would say what she saw first; the two golden circles that were blurry in the fog of her window. How she wiped away the damp mist off of the glass and only then noticed it was lights. At first she had thought they were fallen stars or angels. But then she remembered she was fifteen and that didn’t exist. She then saw a car. A car that she was old enough to know was in the wrong lane at the wrong time. She glanced back at the traffic light which was still red. Then she looked back at the car and it was much closer than before. She would then explain how fast the car was moving and how it wasn’t driving straight. How it was moving everywhere as if it were dancing. She would then say that even though the car was going crazy, something was telling her that it was coming straight for them. Her mind screaming “Yell, say something, move”. But she couldn’t. And then she would explain how quickly the hairs stuck up on her arms and her jaw slack as she watched, simply watched the silver van drive straight towards them.

Then she would say there were screaming, a crash and then blood. The car had hit directly on the side of her father, and her. But the seatbelt across her chest restrained her impact and left her flying sideways, only to be pulled back. She smashed her head on the window to her left and let out a thin shriek of pain. She would explain the shooting, white hot scorching ache down her spine and the split second feeling of seeing only white. And then she would go on to explain how she remembered she wasn’t alone and was bleeding almost as she called out for her parents. She would explain the cracking and sound coming from her father’s mouth as she watched his eyes roll to the back of his head. She would then talk about the feeling of her whole life squeezing away from her as her mother, her mom; blood trickling from her skull, mouth, nose, ears, everywhere, almost not recognizable began to sob. And she had never seen her mother cry and so she began to cry too. Tears of shock fear but mostly pain.

She would then explain the smell of blood, rich blood and cake, chocolate cake that began to fill her nose. She almost threw up in disgust as she held on to both her parents hands, held on to nothing as she felt their skin get cold and dead. But she didn’t want to believe it so she didn’t let go. She would say hours passed-it felt like days- until men in blue suits and green suits and yellow suits came swarming around her, pulling her away from her everything. She remembered the faint radio noises in the background and the police cars, ambulances and sirens going off around them. There were cameras, videos, news reporters and the whole world there just to take notes. She would further say how the men scooped her up and began to walk away. The feeling of knowing her parents weren’t coming with her. She opened to ask why but nothing came out. Only a soft groan of agony that left her head throbbing and pain searing down her back. Then the sharp stab of a needle from a man the people around her kept calling “doctor”. And then black. Simply black.

But no one ever asked, so Evana never had to explain.

She never had to explain the flashbacks or the loneliness, the helpless nights, the strong nights, the sad days, the courageous days, the days she felt like taking her own life or the days she wanted to live her life the fullest to make it up to her parents, her everything. She never had to explain the sleepless nights that could only be cured with a popping of a pill into .

Oh if only a pill could erase the vivid images and clear memories of that night.

But no one ever asked, so Evana never had to explain.

That was until she met Kim Hanbin of course. 

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[A/N] I'm alive! This is a quick snippet for you guys of a request I got. I will upload the rest, I just need to keep myself moving with all the other requests I have. Enjoy, and more updates coming up!