“Let’s not give up and start over again.

Let’s have another chance to make things right.”

15 Years Ago

                Time passed and now it had been two months since Daehyun was confirmed pregnant. Nobody knew about that matter except for him and the father of the unborn child, not even Yongguk. Daehyun didn’t see him as often as before. But every time they got the chance to release their longing on each other at the rooftop, Daehyun couldn’t bring himself to tell Yongguk about his pregnancy. He couldn’t watch the hurt on the older boy’s face. He loved him too much.

                Along the period of time too, his morning sickness was getting worse. Daehyun could barely go to school every day because of the nauseous feeling. He would throw up everything right after he ate them, making his body felt so tired and weak.

                Seunghyun was always by his side at the school to help him with anything he needed. It’s not a problem since the whole school had known them as a couple. And when the school ended, Seunghyun would bring him to the villa as usual to take some rest. He just complied considering the amount of dizziness he got from focusing in classes throughout the day. That’s why he couldn’t go to see his true lover even though he wanted to. He saw Yongguk more in his dreams than the real world.

                Daehyun’s drastic change in behaviour had also concerned his parents. There’s one time he scrambled away from their dining table to vomit in the bathroom. He just brushed it off at first, telling them he wasn’t feeling well. But when the same incident repeated for more than three times, his mother wanted to take him to the clinic for a checkup.

                Daehyun had a deep thought that one night. He couldn’t lie forever. He couldn’t hide it forever. His parents were going to find out anyhow. It would be more suspicious if he refused to do the checkup. So he decided to finally tell his parents about him being pregnant.

                He informed Seunghyun about that plan. The boy was disapproving at first but Daehyun managed to talk him out of it, saying it’s better for their parents to know about the news from themselves rather than other people’s mouths. Seunghyun then agreed with him, though he already knew the worst outcome.

                While for Daehyun, there were too many possibilities to be considered as an outcome. He didn’t know what to expect. But in case things would turn ugly after this, he had to be prepared. He needed to see Yongguk. He’s afraid if there wouldn’t be another chance for them. Maybe it could be their last time seeing each other. He certainly didn’t wish for that but if it really was, he could at least see Yongguk for one last time.

###

                The school ended and Yongguk rushed to go to the rooftop. He did that everyday but today was different. He was running in the hallways as if he couldn’t contain the overflowing feeling of happiness anymore. He must go to the rooftop to burst it all to the person he loved. That’s if Daehyun would be there, unlike the days before.

                Yongguk was the happiest human being right now. A married couple had actually decided to adopt him. He only met them last week and after a couple of meetings, they agreed to take him as their son. It was really hard for him to believe it. He’s going to have a family!

                He was really impatient to tell Daehyun about his adoption and share his happiness with the one he loved. It was Daehyun who convinced him that he would surely be adopted one day. And now the day had come. Daehyun must be very happy to hear it.

                He would go to the rooftop and wait there until Daehyun showed up. He didn’t care how long it would take. He just hoped that the boy would come today.

                Surprisingly, Daehyun was already sitting at his spot hugging his knees when he arrived. Yongguk was about to shout out the younger’s name and run to wrap Daehyun in his arms. But he was stunned when he saw the tears running down Daehyun’s face. His smile faltered, erasing every bits of his excitement about his adoption. He ran to his lover with worry instead.

                “Why are you crying?” Yongguk kneeled in front of Daehyun, taking the wet face in his palms.

                Daehyun lifted his gaze to meet the eyes of the person he had missed so much. A dim smile grew on his lips as he shook his head. “Just having one of those usual bad days.”

                More tears flew out despite Daehyun’s attempt to hide them with his smile. Yongguk was only getting more agitated because of that.  “Was it because of your father? Or Seunghyun? Did he hurt you?”

                “No. None of them,” Daehyun shook his head once again before resting it against Yongguk’s chest. “Just hold me and I’ll be fine.”

                Yongguk looked down to see his lover continued to cry while hugging his body tightly. His heart broke at the sight and there’s nothing he could do to stop the tears except to hold him just like what Daehyun told him to do. With a heavy sigh, he repositioned himself so that Daehyun could be in between his legs. He embraced the younger as if he would absorb all the sadness into his own heart.

                “I missed you,” Yongguk whispered softly into Daehyun’s ear, hoping him to stop thinking about everything that made him cry.

                “I missed you too,” Daehyun whimpered in response.

                There’s a forlorn silence as they went on basking in each other’s warmth which they had always dreamt of in their sleeps. “I’m afraid if you’ll never come again,” Yongguk spoke up when Daehyun’s sobs quieted down. “I’m afraid I’ll forget the way your face gleams with the evening sky.”

               Slowly, Daehyun forced himself to pull apart from the older boy. He wiped the tears with his sleeves and Yongguk began doing the same thing to him, even fixing his disheveled hair. “I think we should get used to this,” He said without looking up. “Maybe it will be even harder for us to meet after this.”

                It was even hard for him to meet Yongguk today. He gave every excuse he could think of to make Seunghyun go home and leave him at school. He didn’t care if Seunghyun would get angry at him later, as long as he got to see his lover today.

                Yongguk didn’t dare to ask why. The reason could be the cause of Daehyun’s tears just now and he didn’t want to see them again. His hand reached out to caress Daehyun’s cheek. “What if I really forgot?”

                Daehyun took a hold of Yongguk’s larger hand. He finally locked their eyes together in a fond gaze. Then he averted it to the golden evening sun. “Maybe, if you look at the sunset, you'll remember me.”

                Yongguk too shifted his eyes to look at the sun which had less than an hour to set. When he turned to Daehyun again, it felt like his breath was knocked out of his lungs. The latter was staring at him with a genuine smile plastered on his face. The soft glowing light from the evening sun made his cheeks glistened with the drying tears.

                Yongguk promptly brought up another hand to cup that precious face of the person he loved. “I want you to know, no matter how long we’re apart, I’ll always wait for you to come back.”

                A promise was coincidentally made and it was sealed with a fervent kiss. They closed their eyes, wanting to capture this moment and keep it in their hearts forever.

###

                It had been a week since Yongguk had last seen Daehyun. Not only at the rooftop but he hadn’t bumped into him anywhere in school. The same thing went for Seunghyun. Did they skip school together? But who would skip for a week? Unless they’re suspended or expelled. But Daehyun didn’t do anything wrong. Yongguk started to wonder if there’s something he didn’t know going around this school.

                So one day during recess, Yongguk braced himself to go to Daehyun’s class. After taking a couple of breaths, he slowly opened the door. There were a few students who decided to stay in the classroom instead of going out to have food. All of them stared at him and Yongguk pretended to look around, as if he was searching for someone, until a girl came up to him.

                “May I help you?” She asked.

                “Ah… Um… I just want to know if Jung Daehyun’s present today?”

                “Jung Daehyun?” She gave him a weird look. “Of course he wasn’t. You haven’t heard?”

                Yongguk frowned. “What do you mean?”

                “Jung Daehyun and his boyfriend didn’t come to school since last week. But three days after their absence, our teacher said that they’re sent by their parents to study abroad,” She was leaning her side against the door frame like she was gossiping with a neighbor.

                Yongguk on the other hand was having a hard time processing the new information. “Ab-Abroad?”

                She nodded. “Yeah, but they’re not together. Daehyun went to Japan while his boyfriend went to UK. Some said that it’s a plan to separate both of them since their parents were enemies. Sad, right?”

                Yongguk was rendered speechless. He couldn’t say anything in return. He was too shocked to do so.

                “Why do you ask by the way?”

                Yongguk shook his head and thanked the girl before walking away from there. His feet intuitively brought him to the rooftop. He needed some time alone even though the recess was almost over and he seemed to be skipping the rest of his classes later.

                Why didn’t he realize it sooner? Daehyun’s parents must have known about their son’s relationship with Seunghyun. Maybe that’s why Daehyun was crying the last time he saw him. But then how could Daehyun not tell him about it. The younger knew it was going to be their last meeting but he didn’t even say goodbye.

                Yongguk sat on the same spot as he did last week with Daehyun. But now he was alone. He kept staring at Daehyun’s name on the wall, his mind crowded with every possible reason for Daehyun’s strange act during their last meeting, having no idea the tears were already flowing out of his eyes.

                What if Daehyun decided to throw him away? After he was done playing with his feelings, he just left like that. And now he was actually with Seunghyun, not going abroad like those rumors claimed them to be. Did he choose Seunghyun because the guy is rich? So he would really prefer money over everything? After all this time they had been together?

                Yongguk wondered if he should believe his own assumptions. He was angry because Daehyun left him hanging like this but deep inside his heart, he still loved the person named Jung Daehyun. He did say that he’d always wait for him to come back no matter how long it’d take. So he just had to wait for that day to come and know the truth.

###

Present Time

                Daehyun felt like he had wasted enough time. He met the man he loved after fifteen years. What else could it mean? Yongguk lived throughout those years just to wait for him. But he constantly avoided the elder ever since their reunion.

                He knew he was wrong for leaving Yongguk just like that. He didn’t have the guts to apologize even though he really wanted to. But then Yongguk asked him to start over again. Of course he was surprised when the man wished to resume their broken relationship. It wasn’t something ridiculous because they still loved each other. Yongguk didn’t care if he had a son and Seunghyun was nowhere around anymore.

                Therefore, Daehyun finally made up his mind. He didn’t want Yongguk to wait any longer. His heart couldn’t contain it anymore. He missed Yongguk. He wanted to be with him again. He wanted to love and be loved again.

                The lunch was already prepared. Now Daehyun was in the living room of Yongguk’s house, anxiously waiting for the man to come home. He fidgeted on the sofa, his fingers fiddled with the hem of his shirt, his feet jiggled on the carpeted floor. His heart felt like it would jump out of his chest at the thought of having to hold onto Yongguk again.

                The front door clicked open and Yongguk casually walked in. He closed the door before heading to the kitchen, only to stop halfway when he saw his housekeeper standing in the living room. His brow furrowed as he eyed the other in confusion. “Why are you looking at me like that?” He questioned because Daehyun seemed like he saw a dead man coming back to life.

                Daehyun didn’t utter a word. He kept standing there with clenched fists. When he began to cry, Yongguk started to panic. He quickly went to the younger but Daehyun was faster to run to him and throw himself into Yongguk’s arms. Yongguk stumbled a few steps back, too shocked to do anything.

                “I missed you,” Daehyun cried into Yongguk’s shoulder, his arms were tightly wrapped around the latter’s neck as he stood on his toes.

                “O…kay…?” Still in daze, Yongguk placed his hands on Daehyun’s back. “But we see each other everyday,” He tried to laugh it off. It must be a dream to be able to hold Daehyun so close like this.

                Done with the bone crushing hug, Daehyun briefly pulled away to take Yongguk’s face in his hands. He crashed their lips together in an eager breathless kiss. His eyes were shut compared to Yongguk’s bulging ones. It took seconds for the older man to realize that it’s not a dream. This was real. Daehyun had really come back to him.

                Yongguk squeezed the smaller body in his arms, afraid if Daehyun would disappear again because he didn’t hold him firmly. He returned the kiss, hard and sloppy like he was releasing all the feelings he had kept inside his heart for the past fifteen years.

                Somehow both of Daehyun and Yongguk ended up on the sofa. Daehyun’s head was resting on Yongguk’s chest as they had their arms around each other. The TV wasn’t even , the lunch was already long forgotten. The whole house was silent, only Daehyun’s quiet sniffles from the last bits of his crying could be heard. Yongguk decided he wouldn’t return to work and be with Daehyun for the rest of the day.

                “I’m sorry for what I’ve done,” Daehyun spoke up after gathering enough of courage to say his apology properly to the other.

                Yongguk tenderly rubbed Daehyun’s thin arm. “I forgave you remember?” He muttered as he each of Daehyun’s slender fingers with the other hand.

                Daehyun stared at the way Yongguk’s hand gently touching his. It was larger and rougher compared to when the older man was still a teenager. Although he felt like he was young again, it totally gave a new different feeling and he liked it. Intertwining their fingers together, Daehyun brought them up to his chest. “I really really missed you.”

               Yongguk’s lips pulled into a pleasant smile. “So am I,” He pressed a long kiss on top of Daehyun’s head. It was still surreal for him to have Daehyun in his hold right now. He wondered how Daehyun changed his mind so suddenly. “What makes you returned to me?”

                Daehyun wanted to say that his heart and mind were finally opened after the talk he had with his son the other day. He told Junhong that the boy would find someone who would love him. And he had found Yongguk long ago. So why should he run away from him now?

                After a while of thinking, Daehyun came up with the simplest answer which he could put all of his honest thoughts. “Love?” He looked up to Yongguk. His face showed that he was hesitant at first but then it turned brighter with a confident smile he carved. “Just love.”

                Yongguk was completely mesmerized by the beauty of the person in his arms. He managed to let out a tiny chuckle because that was the same reason he had waited so long for him. Their faces inched closer before they shared another sweet kiss.

###

                Junhong was currently going out with Jongup. It was pay day for that childhood friend of his. So as usual, he would ask him to hang out. Jongup took an early leave from his work to drive to Junhong’s school and pick up the boy.

                The younger one was a little overexcited in the car. Since this time only came once in a month, he was eager to know where Jongup would take him. Jongup actually had no problem taking him everywhere whenever he could. He would buy anything the boy wanted to have. But Junhong always refused because it made him feel bad. So when he said the same thing if the boy rejected his offer, Junhong told him to treat him only on his salary day.

                This time Jongup chose a donut cafe located in the city. Junhong immediately drooled. He hadn’t eaten this kind of food for so long. They entered the cafe and went straight to stand in line. The cafe must be doing well to have a line like this, thought Junhong. He looked around to see if there’s empty table he would like to sit.

                When his eyes landed on a small booth at the back of the shop, his breath hitched. Sitting there with a girl was the rich kid from his school who would always give him trouble. They never got into a fight before but this kid could be super annoying.

                “Um, hyung…?” Junhong called the older boy who was standing beside him, busily checking out the menu above the counter. He received a hum as a reply. “Could we go somewhere else?”

                “Why?” Jongup turned to him.

                He quickly thought of a reasonable excuse. “I’m not sure if this shop sells the best donuts,” He shrugged.

                Jongup chuckled. “Don’t worry about that. I’ve been here before. Their donuts are the bestest.”

                “B-But I feel bad for eomma. I can’t just eat these delicious donuts without him,” Zelo was desperate to get out of the cafe but at the same time he tried not to be so obvious about it.

                 Jongup hummed while pursing his lips. “Then should we order a takeaway for Daehyun hyung?”

                 “Re-Really?” Junhong hid the disappointment behind his happy face.

                 “Sure,” Jongup nodded with a smile.

                 When it was their turn, Jongup ordered for them and for Daehyun. Then he led the younger to find a seat. Junhong was fast to grab the chair that wouldn’t make him sit facing the rich kid. He had small talks with Jongup, trying to forget that the kid was in the same place, until their orders arrived.

                Junhong sipped on his hot chocolate as he stared at the delicious looking donuts. Things like those should be eaten slowly and enjoyed the delectable taste till his heart content. But since there’s someone bugging him, he wondered if he could do that.

                “What are you staring at? Eat,” Jongup spoke up as he was drinking his hot coffee.

                Junhong was pulled out from his nonsense thoughts. He grinned sheepishly before reaching out to take a donut. That’s when his worst scenario came true.

                “Well, well, if it isn’t the poor illegitimate child,” The said rich kid came to stand by their table with the girl behind him. “What are you doing in a place like this?”

                “Get away, Minki,” Junhong gave a killer glare to him but Jongup didn’t seem to be affected by the boy’s presence. He picked a donut and took a big bite of it.

                Minki noticed the other guy was ignoring him and he hated that. “What? Is he deaf? Heh, of course the poor ones would clump together,” He mocked Jongup and Junhong’s eyes widened.

                Jongup furrowed his brow. “What’s that? There’s a fly in here?” He asked Junhong who could only gape at him, before shaking his head. “What a nuisance.”

                Like he had pushed the wrong button, Minki kicked Jongup’s chair, making the older boy almost fell onto the floor. Junhong let out the loudest gasp while Minki’s girl was busy tapping on her phone. Jongup scoffed as he fixed himself in his seat. But when he turned to the rich kid, he had the sweetest smile on his face.

                “Oh sorry, I didn’t quite notice you there. I honestly thought you’re a decoration tree in this restaurant,” Jongup remarked, referring to the kid’s green shirt and brown pants.

                Minki gritted his teeth. “So you’re blind too,” He crossed his arms against his chest. “At least I don’t look like you ragged kids. Do you even have enough money to pay for the food here? Or do you plan to run away after you’ve done eating? If I saw you guys earlier, I could just let you eat my leftovers.”

                “I know you’re kind enough to treat us if we’re penniless but it’s okay. I have more than enough money in my pocket,” Jongup patted the side of his pants where his wallet was at. “My own money,” He gave an eyebrows raise while keeping his innocent smile.

                “And where did you get that money? From the street? Did your friend of illegitimate child help you out?”

                “Oh honey, you don’t need to know everything about us. Besides, even if he’s an illegitimate child, he still has a parent who taught him not to condemn people for fun with stupid remarks. You must be like this since your parents only cared about making more and more money for you so you can buy your gold digger girlfriend whatever she wants.”

                In a swift move, Minki got Jongup to stand on his feet as he gripped the other boy’s shirt. “You’re pissing me off!” He growled.

                Jongup didn’t even try to free himself from the kid’s grasp. But Junhong immediately came up to pry Minki’s hands off of Jongup. He got a help from the shop’s workers who had been observing them since the verbal duel. Once the two was separated, Minki and his girlfriend were dragged out of there.

                “Are you okay?” One of the staff asked as he placed a hand on Jongup’s back.

                Jongup nodded while fixing his clothes. “Yeah, thanks bud.”

                “I’m sorry about that.”

                “It’s okay. Not your fault.”

                When everything was sorted out and other customers stopped making a fuss, Jongup and Junhong went back to their seats. Jongup looked like nothing had happened to him just now. But Junhong was feeling really guilty since he was the cause of the fight.

                “You don’t have to go that far for me,” He said.

                “You know I will do anything for you,” Jongup retorted with an assuring smile.

                Junhong’s heart fluttered for a moment but he quickly shook it off. “He was about to punch you in the face.”

                “That kid should be taught a lesson,” Jongup huffed. “Thanks to you he didn’t get to punch me. And thanks to my friend we weren’t kicked out from here too.”

                Junhong frowned. “Your friend?”

                “Ah, I should’ve introduced him to you before,” Jongup just remembered about that. “The guy who asked me if I’m okay just now. He’s my friend. He owns this place.”

                That very moment, Junhong saw sparks around Jongup that he had never seen before. He always thought that Jongup was cool. But the way Jongup protected him from the rich kid and the way Jongup said that he’s friend with the cafe’s owner were beyond cool. It was like he got everything in his hands while keep being his calm self. Junhong’s heart suddenly beat faster at the thought.

###

                Daehyun went home with a smile that never left his face. He spent the whole day with Yongguk, though they did more cuddling than talking. He was glad he made a choice to let Yongguk back into his life. He felt more alive with the love Yongguk promised to give for the rest of their lives.

                The older man offered to send him home and Daehyun didn’t refuse this time. He wanted to be with Yongguk as long as he could. They shared a sweet kiss before parting ways and he felt like he was a teenager again, a normal teenager who was sent home by his boyfriend after having a date.

                Daehyun walked into the kitchen where Junhong had been waiting for him. He settled the bags he brought with him on the table, oblivious to his son who kept eyeing him with everything he did.

                “You look happy,” Junhong pointed out.

                “Really?” Daehyun raised his eyebrows. “You look all smiley too. You must be going out with Jongup again.”

                So It's true that mothers know their child best. Junhong had a faint blush on his face at the mention of Jongup’s name. He wondered if he ahd always been this happy everytime he went out with the older boy. “Yeah, we bought something for you.”

                Daehyun got curious upon hearing that. “What is it?”

                Junhong went to take a small box on the counter before returning to his seat in front of Daehyun. The box of donuts was handed out to his mother. “It’s Jongup hyung’s treat.”

                Daehyun opened the box to have a look at the beautiful pastry. “Aww, thank you,” His hand reached out to Junhong’s head before setting the box aside.

                “You’re not going to eat it?” Junhong asked.

                Daehyun shook his head. “I will, later. Yongguk-ssi asked me to eat dinner with him, so I’m actually still kinda full. Now, I’ll make your dinner. Oh yeah, Yongguk-ssi told me to bring some of these home,” He took out food containers from the bags and pulled off the lids. They were a complete set of delicious dishes.

                “He knew you didn’t have dinner yet. I’ll cook some rice and… what else do you want to eat?” Daehyun finally stopped talking to look up at his son.

                It was unexpected of Junhong to glower at him. “You want me to eat the rich man’s leftovers?”

                Daehyun was totally taken aback by his son’s reaction. “What…? Junhong – ”

                “No thank you,” Junhong cut him off. “I’m actually still full too,” With that he stood up and left the dumbfounded Daehyun in the kitchen.

###

If you're pretending from the start

Like this, with a tight grip

Then my kiss can mend your broken heart

I might miss everything you said to me

And I can lend your broken parts

That might fit, like this

And I will give you all my heart

So we can start it all over again

Song : Over Again by One Direction

More bangdae coming up next! And then there's jonglo :3

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