“You still choose me when you deserve someone better

and I want you to know it meant the world to me.”

– Daehyun –

Present time

                The alarm went off and Daehyun’s hand instantly reached out from under the blanket to turn it off. His eyes slowly fluttered open, the white ceiling of his bedroom came into sight. He kept staring at it as he tried to put some sense into his mind about everything that happened the day before. When he recalled that Yongguk was staying here, he turned to look at his side, only to find that part of bed was empty.

                Daehyun sat up on the bed, releasing a long heavy sigh. Maybe Yongguk had gone home since last night. Maybe it’s a little too uncomfortable for him to stay in this small room after all, Daehyun assumed. A part of him wanted to accept his own reason but he couldn’t help feeling a bit frustrated by it because waking up next to the person you love is something else and he wanted to experience that once in his life.

                After washing himself in the bathroom, Daehyun went out from his room in order to wake his son up and make some breakfast for the boy. But then he could see a lump on the couch from the corner of his eyes. His heart started to beat faster, in fear of that certain someone breaking into his house again. He eyed the man for a good minute before recognizing the man’s shirt as Yongguk’s from last night.

                Daehyun breathed out a sigh of relief even though his heart didn’t stop thumping in his chest. The fear had completely changed to a different feeling. To say that he was happy to see Yongguk was still here in his apartment was an understatement. He was smiling so widely that his cheeks were starting to hurt but he couldn’t care less.

                He approached the sleeping man who was lying on his stomach before kneeling beside the couch. He stared at Yongguk’s peaceful face. He didn’t know why but he felt excited and warm at the same time, like thousands of butterflies were suddenly released in his stomach. Maybe it’s because this was the first time he had actually seen Yongguk’s sleeping face.

                Daehyun’s hand unconsciously landed on Yongguk’s temple. His thumb traced every beautiful feature on Yongguk’s face as his palm slid down the man’s cheek. Yongguk’s skin felt cold against his. So Daehyun kept warming Yongguk up until the older man stirred in his sleep. His eyebrows scrunched together while he shifted his body to lie on his side. His lids squinted apart and his lips broke into a content smile once he saw Daehyun’s angelic face right after waking up.

                Yongguk brought his hand over Daehyun’s which was still resting on his face. He could feel the warmth traveled from his skin to his heart and he almost thought he was in heaven.

                “Why were you sleeping here?”Daehyun asked, giggling at the half awake Yongguk. His thumb was still caressing Yongguk’s cheekbone.

                “Junhong’s home. I couldn’t just let him see us sleeping together,” Yongguk replied using his husky morning voice, sending unwanted chills to Daehyun’s spine, moreover with the sleepy gaze Yongguk was giving.

                “Aren’t you cold?”                                                                      

                Yongguk jutted out his bottom lip. “This couch is reeeally warm.”

                Daehyun sighed while shaking his head. “Good thing you got a blanket for yourself but next time, sleep in my room,” He patted Yongguk’s cheek before standing up.

                Yongguk was frowning when he watched Daehyun going to Junhong’s room. He looked down his body and it’s true there’s a blanket covering him. But he didn’t remember he had it when he went to sleep last night.

###

                Sitting on the edge of the bed, Daehyun took some time to admire his son. He hadn’t met him for a whole day yesterday but it felt a lot longer than that for him. There were just the two of them before and they saw each other everyday. So when it had come to be like this, Daehyun just wished everything would return to the way it was between them.

                He softly Junhong’s hair while lovingly gazing at his son’s fixed expression. Everybody said Junhong really took after him when they saw them together but he knew that’s only because they hadn’t yet seen the father. For him, Junhong looked a lot more like Seunghyun. When Junhong was little, Daehyun feared if his son would grew up looking like the man he hated the most and he was worried if he could bear to see that. But now, no matter how Junhong looked like, Daehyun didn’t really care. Junhong’s still his son. He was just grateful the boy didn’t inherit the same personality as his father.

                A small groan snapped Daehyun out of his thoughts. Junhong shuffled under his mother’s touch but still reluctant to open his eyes.

                Daehyun’s lips stretched into a smile. “Wake up, Junhongie…” He continued to knead the boy’s head.

                Junhong stretched his limbs and froze for a second. Then he sat up on the bed, showing his biggest yawn to his mother.

                Daehyun had to draw his hand back and placed it on Junhong’s thigh instead. “You should get ready for school,” He ordered and Junhong nodded, still struggling to open his eyes properly.

                “But before that…” Daehyun bit his lips before he could resume his sentence. “Do you know Yongguk-ssi spent the night here?” He asked timidly, hoping that the boy wouldn’t flip out again at the mention of Yongguk’s name.

                Junhong hummed. “I know. I saw him last night,” His lips pressed into a thin smile while he looked at his mother.

                Daehyun wore a quite shocked expression. Junhong didn’t show any hint of irritation in his voice. Maybe that’s why Yongguk could sleep on the couch. If Junhong was really angry, he would have kicked Yongguk out of the apartment last night.

                Daehyun wanted to ask his son if he’s okay about Yongguk but a kiss was faster to land on his cheek. His eyes widened staring at the retreating Junhong. The boy was only grinning back at him.

                “I love you, eomma,” Junhong declared before getting off the bed and went to the bathroom.

                Daehyun’s brows knitted together in confusion. Sure, he was beyond happy to receive that kiss from his son since the boy rarely did that before. Really, Junhong was acting weird.

                After he had done getting dressed in his school uniform, Junhong went out of his room to have his breakfast. As he was nearing the kitchen, he could hear faint noises of people talking in there. He halted his steps to hide behind the wall of the doorway and peered inside.

                There were his mother and that old man at the dining table. Instead of Daehyun, Yongguk was the one wearing an apron and holding a bowl in his hands while Daehyun was just standing beside him, observing whatever the other was doing.

                “Are you sure we need to put that much?” Daehyun asked in concern when Yongguk was pouring some milk into the bowl.

                “Pretty sure,” Yongguk nodded full of confidence.

                “I think it’s more than enough,” Daehyun tried to seize the milk carton from the cook.

                Yongguk was quick to bring it away from Daehyun’s reaching hand. “I know what I’m doing.”

                “How do you know if you just randomly put it in without measuring it?” Daehyun scolded as if he was a top chef looking down on an amateur.

                Yongguk showed his palm to the younger man. “I’m an expert in this. I lived alone before you came as my housekeeper and I have always cooked for myself. Trust me,” He moved his palm onto his chest with a reassuring smile. “I’m a very good cook.”

                Daehyun huffed in defeat. He crossed his arms against his chest as he continued to watch Yongguk prepared his so called perfect pancakes. That’s when Junhong decided to make his appearance.

                “Morning,” Junhong casually greeted them and took a seat across the table.

                Both Yongguk and Daehyun diverted their attention to the boy. Daehyun was somehow stunned when his son actually showed up in the kitchen. He thought that the boy would leave the apartment just like that without having any breakfast.

                “Morning,” Yongguk retorted before Daehyun could.

                Daehyun looked up at Yongguk and that man had a huge grin plastered on his face. He then turned to Junhong, expecting the most reasonable response from his son but instead of that, the boy was glaring at his lover.

                In order to break the growing awkward air, Daehyun quickly went around the table before dabbing a kiss on Junhong’s head. “Morning, Junhong.”

                “How come I don’t get any of that?” Yongguk suddenly spoke up with a sad frown.

                Daehyun’s jaw dropped at that remark.

                “’Cause you’re a stinky old man…” Junhong indifferently alleged, causing Daehyun’s eyes to double their sizes.

                Yongguk actually pouted, his head bobbed up and down as if he was very offended with the boy. “Well, you’re about to taste some pancakes from this stinky chef,” He pointed out the whisk to the latter.

                Junhong shrugged his shoulders. “What choice do I have?”

                “Seriously, this boy… I specially make this to thank you for the blanket, you know,” Yongguk’s tone sounded so annoyed but his face was nothing like it. It looked like he was more to joking around than getting angry at the boy.

                Junhong just ignored that even though sunflowers were blooming in his heart, suddenly feeling very appreciated by doing such a small thing based on common sense. He propped up his chin while tapping his fingers on the table, eagerly but quietly waiting for his pancakes to be done.

                Daehyun was having a hard time to comprehend the situation happening before him. He was downright confused because he thought Yongguk and Junhong weren’t in good terms. So when Yongguk began to cook his pancakes, Daehyun went to stand close to the older man.

                “What happened?” Daehyun whispered.

                Yongguk knew what Daehyun was trying to dig. “Nothing much. Just a warm up,” He smiled while flipping the pancake in the pan.

                Though he was not satisfied with the answer, Daehyun couldn’t keep pestering Yongguk about it, not under the watchful eye of his son behind them. So he went back to the boy, poured him a glass of orange juice and had their usual conversation like every other morning.

                A while later, the breakfast was finally served. The pancakes looked like any other homemade meal that was prepared wholeheartedly and full of love. The round fluffy things were stacked up nicely in each plate, with maple syrup drizzled on them.

                Yongguk was anxiously looking at the mother and son as they sat around the small table to taste his cooking. Since Daehyun was wondering whether the pancakes taste as good as they looked like, he was the first one to take a bite. His face obviously changed from being hesitated to being amazed.

                “This is surprisingly good!” Daehyun exclaimed.

                “Really?!” Yongguk’s face lit up. Daehyun nodded at him and the next compliment Yongguk was anticipating would be coming from Junhong. He turned to stare expectantly at the boy.

                Junhong calmly stuffed a piece of the pancake into his mouth. After a few chews, he shrugged his shoulders. “Not bad…”

                And just by that, Yongguk felt like he was rolling on a bed of fluffy pancakes. His lover’s son liked his cooking! There’s a huge grin on his face while he showed a subtle victory fist to Daehyun.

                “Told you!” Yongguk mouthed to Daehyun, causing the latter to smile along while shaking his head.

###

                Not long after Junhong was off to school, Yongguk was resting on the same couch where he slept last night, scrolling through his phone. Daehyun then appeared from his room and made his way to his lover. Yongguk noticed a figure approaching him so he looked up from his phone and reached out his hand for Daehyun to take it. The younger man was pulled down to sit in between his legs.

                “Aren’t you going to work?” Daehyun asked.

                “I don’t feel like it,” Yongguk placed his chin on Daehyun’s shoulder when he was squeezing the slender body in a tight hug. There’s a huge chance of meeting his mother at the company and he’s really not in the mood for that.

                “It’s up to you but I’m going to my work,” Daehyun tried to loosen Yongguk’s clasped hands over his stomach.

                “What work?” Yongguk was totally clueless as he frowned at the other.

                “I have another job, remember? Morning shift as a cleaner?”

                “You’re leaving me alone?” Yongguk really looked like a sad puppy right now that Daehyun almost give in.

                “Go to work then,” Daehyun was suppressing his smile looking at the cute sight of the older man but he’s still trying to unwrap those strong arms from his body.

                But Yongguk only tightened his hold, nuzzling the crook of Daehyun’s neck. “No, just quit that job… You have me now.”

                “Are you being serious?” Daehyun squirmed away from Yongguk’s tickling breaths to have a better look at the man. “I’m fired from being your housekeeper and this is the only job I got now.”

                “So? I’m your lover, right? I have the money so you don’t have to do that job again,” Yongguk stated his reason, not letting Daehyun go easily.

                Now Daehyun was the one furrowing his brows, looking all irritated at Yongguk. “I can’t do that. I have a son to feed.”

                “I have enough money for both of you,” Yongguk convinced the younger again but all he received was a sharp glare. He breathed out a long sigh.

                “Can’t you take a day off? Just for today?” Using a much softer tone, Yongguk consoled Daehyun with a different technique.

                Daehyun narrowed his eyes. “You’re that desperate, huh?”

                “Please?” Yongguk raised his eyebrows.

                “But I just took a day off yesterday,” Daehyun argued.

                Yongguk grumped. “So I won’t see you till afternoon?”

                “I guess so,” Daehyun was glad Yongguk was finally releasing him from the tight hold but he couldn’t help feeling guilty looking at Yongguk’s frustrated expression. So he brought up his hands to cup the sulking face.

                “Let’s see each other in the afternoon,” Daehyun pecked Yongguk’s lips which were quickly stretched into a broad smile.

                “Okay,” Yongguk replied with another warm kiss.

###

                Daehyun’s shift ended exactly at one o’clock. Having the thought of his lover already waiting for him at his apartment, he wanted to go home as soon as possible. He left his key to Yongguk since the man didn’t want to go home either, afraid if his mother would find him there again. When he asked him about change of clothes, Yongguk said he would go out to buy some new ones, as simple as that.

                Daehyun got out of his workplace through a single door at the back which was only used by the cleaners. But contradicting to the dark alley behind the large building, there’s a luxurious car parked right in front of the door. Daehyun knew that black BMW so well and anyone could see who the owner was when the man was standing there, leaning against the front passenger door with both hands shoved into the pockets.

                Yongguk’s lips crinkled into a radiant smile once he caught the sight of his sweetheart. He pushed himself off the car to go to take the man in his arms again. Seeing Yongguk like that, Daehyun’s feet were rooted to the ground. He inevitably felt he was nothing compared to Yongguk. Yongguk had the money, the good look, the manner. Yongguk was so perfect that he could easily find someone better than a poor man like him. His heart clenched painfully at the thought.

                Yongguk’s arm s around Daehyun’s waist, face leaning in for a kiss but Daehyun flinched away before Yongguk could land his lips on his. Yongguk was taken aback when Daehyun placed a hand on his chest to stop him. His confused look was enough to voice out his wonder to his lover.

                Daehyun seemed agitated and he kept looking around him. A few of his coworkers were definitely staring at him with shy smiles on their faces. “You don’t have you to pick me up,” He muttered before looking up to the taller man. “Aren’t you embarrassed of me?”

                Yongguk thought for a moment and he slowly figured out the reason of Daehyun’s rejection on him. He chuckled in relief, causing Daehyun to be the one who’s embarrassed about their situation right now.

                “Why would I?” Yongguk quickly captured Daehyun’s lips before he could be stopped again.

                Daehyun’s face immediately turned bright red. He couldn’t think straight and he didn’t know how to act out in front of the watching people after the kiss. So Yongguk just dragged him to the car and settled him in the front passenger seat.

                Yongguk was ready to drive the car away from there but his smile never ceased looking at the still flustered Daehyun. He didn’t expect Daehyun to be so shy being with him in public. The younger man used to be the bold one when they first started dating during their teenage years. That time, Daehyun was not a tiny bit embarrassed to go out with a poor boy like him, so why would he now?

                “Ready for a date?”

                Daehyun whipped his head towards Yongguk, completely bewildered at that question. “Date?! I’m not dressed for one,” He refused to go anywhere with Yongguk in a worn out jeans and plain shirt.

                “You look just fine to me. Beautiful as always,” Yongguk said genuinely.

                “No, I’m not,” Daehyun pursed his lips tightly despite the slight blush covering his cheeks.

                “What are you talking about? Do you want to go home and change?”

                Daehyun thought for a second. “Where are we going?”

                “To lunch.”

                “Where?”

                “That’ll be a surprise,” Yongguk smirked.

                Daehyun was contemplating again because even if he did change to better clothes, he still couldn’t compare with Yongguk who was looking extraordinarily handsome in a white shirt and a grey blazer.

                “Can’t we just have lunch at home?” He suggested.

                Yongguk sighed. “What’s this about?” He asked softly but Daehyun wasn’t saying anything. “Is it about me being embarrassed of you?”

                Daehyun hung his head while he played with his fingers. “W-Well…”

                “I told you I am not,” Yongguk stated firmly, his arm was already curled behind Daehyun’s seat. “Is it because of your clothes? I told you I am fine with whatever you look like.”

                “I know…but I should at least look as good when I’m going out with you,” Daehyun murmured without connecting their eyes.

                It was silence after that. Yongguk straightened himself in his seat before he started driving on the road. Daehyun thought Yongguk was mad at him but he didn’t dare to say anything. He awkwardly stayed quiet throughout the whole drive but he was getting nervous when Yongguk stopped by a shop instead of his apartment. He didn’t make a move until Yongguk came around to open his door.

                “Come. We’ll buy some nice clothes for you,” Yongguk announced as he waited for the other to get off the car.

                As confused as Daehyun’s state of mind right now, he still got out of the car. He had no other choice when Yongguk pulled his hand into the shop. The older man was totally in charge, picking out the clothes and ordering him to try all of them out. Daehyun just obliged to his lover. Not like he could openly protest when the saleswoman was always lingering around them.

                Half an hour later, they’re settled with a couple of shirts and pants, not including the pair Daehyun was wearing right now. Yongguk bought him a black jeans just like his and a white dress shirt. He looked the best in simple and casual clothes, Yongguk said.

                “Are you sure I don’t have to pay for these?” Daehyun asked for the twentieth time after they got into the car.

                “No, you don’t have to,” Yongguk replied more sternly than before. “I’m your boyfriend and just think that those are my gifts for you.”

                “But they cost a lot,” Daehyun almost whined while hugging the large paper bag of his new clothes.

                Yongguk was now too tired to deal with Daehyun’s antics and his stomach was growling louder by the second, asking to be filled with lunch. So he decided to kiss those pouting plump lips and he succeeded in shutting Daehyun up. “And I love you,” He said, flashing a charming smile before drifting off to get his belated lunch.

                Daehyun swore he could possibly die because of a heart attack today with Yongguk touching and kissing him out of a sudden anywhere they were at and hauling him to places without telling him first. Just like how he was standing in front of an expensive French restaurant right now.

                “Come here,” Yongguk grabbed the smaller hand before pulling the stunned Daehyun into the restaurant.

                Daehyun felt out of place. He never set foot in a place like this for more than fifteen years. He wanted to run away if he could but Yongguk had called this a date. He couldn’t do anything but to force himself to go along with it.

                They were seated at a round couple table which had a great lighting over it and everything that should be on the table was perfectly arranged before him. He couldn’t even make a choice on his meal since he had become unfamiliar with the foreign language menu. He just let Yongguk decide for him.

                The waiter was off to deliver their orders. Daehyun wanted to take a sip of the glass of water in front of him to wet his dry throat but he was too awkward to do it.  He looked up to the other man and only then he noticed Yongguk was eyeing him all along with a goofy smile on his face.

                Yongguk could see Daehyun was raising an eyebrow at him so he held out his palm. The clueless Daehyun eventually took the hint and placed his hand over it.

                Yongguk rubbed the back of Daehyun’s hand using his thumb. The skin was not as soft as before. There were some wrinkles now and the veins were more visible, very much similar to his. He stared at their hands and realized how much time had already passed since that time.

                “Remember our first date?” Yongguk spoke up.

                Daehyun didn’t take a long time to recall that day. That was their one and only real date, the first and the last.

                “That time I said that I wanted to bring you to eat at a place like this,” Yongguk’s lips curled into a thin smile.

                “What’s with that face? You don’t like it here?”

                “I like it. But I wish that I’m the one who’d bring you to a place like this and treat you with delicious food as much as possible.”

                Daehyun’s heart squeezed in his chest. He remembered that. He remembered every single second they spent together on that day. And today was the day Yongguk’s wish came true. He wondered how much Yongguk must have loved him to worry about little things like that. But maybe it didn’t even matter because he loved Yongguk so much more than anybody could ever think of.

                Unknowingly, tears gathered in his eyes before falling onto his cheeks. “You’re so cheesy…” Daehyun remarked with wiping his tears using his free hand.

                Yongguk laughed. He leaned closer to wipe away the remaining tears. “The only thing different is that we don’t need to worry about being seen now.”

                Daehyun chortled and nodded his head. “You’re right.”

                “Let’s have our second first date,” Yongguk said before bringing Daehyun’s hand to his lips, kissing the back of it, just like what he did years ago.

###

How many times do I have to tell you

Even when you’re crying you’re beautiful too

The world is beating you down

I’m around through every mood

You’re my downfall

You’re my muse

My worst distraction

My rhythm and blues

I can’t stop singing

It’s ringing in my head for you

Song : All of Me by John Legend

Happy 1st anniversary to this story and happy 2nd anniversary for me!

I really struggled to finish this chap by today even though I have four freakin tests this week! Just to celebrate this fic's birthday ^^

Thanks to all upvoters, subscribers, commenters, readers and to you guys who'd been following this fic for the whole year!

I love you~ ♥♥♥