“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

– Daehyun –

Present time

                Daehyun never imagined he would feel this way again after having the thought about the chance of meeting Yongguk was impossible. He missed everything about him; his face, his voice, his smile, his lips. But now Yongguk was kissing him crudely and he didn’t know whether he should respond or not because it’s not what he expected to be. The kiss was not the same as before.

                Daehyun whimpered, trying to push Yongguk away from him. The elder however deepened the kiss, causing Daehyun to gasp for air. He squirmed and writhed in Yongguk’s hold. His head turned from side to side as he tried to defense his lips from the other but Yongguk was fast to find them back.

                That’s not until Daehyun lowered his head with his hands at Yongguk’s chest, strongly preventing him from going closer to him again.

                Yongguk stepped back. He scoffed in disbelief. “You push me away now?”

                Daehyun looked up, still having the tears running down his cheeks. “Yongguk… You need to understand– ”

                “What?!” Yongguk cut him off. “Understand what?! That you don’t love me anymore?!”

                Did he still love Yongguk? Daehyun diverted his eyes down to the floor tiles to think of an answer. Of course he still loved Yongguk. Although it had been a long time, he would never forget his love for Yongguk.

                But instead of admitting that, Daehyun shook his head. “Things are different now…”

                Yongguk roughly rubbed his face before pacing in front of the younger. Did Daehyun just turned him down? He waited for 16 years and this was all he got? This thing sure was giving a major mental breakdown to him.

                “You want money? Fine! I’ll give it to you!” Yongguk stopped in front of Daehyun to yell at him. He hastily picked his wallet from the back pocket. All the money and the cards were pulled out from it. And he threw them to the man standing before him.

                Daehyun flinched in surprise. His wide eyes trailed to the paper bills dropping to his feet. He was slack jawed, thinking on what was happening to him. Just why would Yongguk do that? The Yongguk he knew had never been so rude to any people, especially him. But maybe he could scratch that because Yongguk had offended him in the rudest way he would’ve thought of.

                “Yongguk… This is not you…” Daehyun sobbed, looking up to the man wearing a scowl on his face.

                “Oh yeah? How about you?” Yongguk countered. “You used to give no about the poor people like me. All you care is about money and ,” He ranted before leaning his face closer to Daehyun’s while the younger just stared at him, tears constantly flowing out from his eyes.

                “But hey, guess what? I’m filthy rich now,” Yongguk threw his hands up. “And I’m still wondering how you appeared in front of me just like that. Like –oh, this man’s rich. I must get him– And then you met me, so you’re like – oops, wrong move–” He raised his tone a pitch higher like Daehyun would’ve done it. “And you pretend like your money wasn’t as much!”

                Yongguk finally shut his mouth. His breathing was uneven and his jaw clenched in resentment. Daehyun continued to cry quietly. They kept their eyes on each other and Yongguk felt like he was woken up from his unconscious mind by the way Daehyun’s teary eyes looked at him in horror.

                “I quit,” Daehyun muttered before turning his back to storm out of the house.

###

15 years ago

                “I’m… I’m pregnant…” It took Daehyun a whole week to have the courage and confront his parents. Although he had expected the consequences, he braced himself and ready to face anything coming next.

                “You…what?!” His father was in utter shock. He stood up from the couch across Daehyun, placing his hands on the hips as he glowered at his teenage son.

                Daehyun’s mother could only cover the gasp escaping his mouth. He exchanged concern looks between his husband and his son, unable to decide which side he should root for.

                “I can’t believe it!” His father roared, causing both Daehyun and his mother to jump in their seats. Daehyun dropped his head even more. His father’s wrath was the scariest thing for him throughout his sixteen years of life.

                The parents felt like complete idiots. They should’ve known it. It was noticeable how uneasy Daehyun looked when they mentioned about seeing a doctor. Their son was having all the symptoms for pregnancy for the last few weeks. Yet, they suspected nothing.

                The living room fell into an uncomfortable silence. Daehyun guessed that everybody could hear the sound he made when he gulped down the lump in his throat. It was getting colder and colder around him but sweats began to trickle down his temple.

                “Who does the child belong to?” His father broke the silence. His voice was still impatient.

                Daehyun contemplated. Should he lie? Or should he tell the truth? Or should he say he didn’t have any idea about it? But lying wouldn’t do any good so he decided to be honest. And he knew this was going to be bad.

                “Choi… Seunghyun…” He murmured timidly.

                “What?!” His old man snapped. “Choi Seunghyun?! You know that the Choi is our rival!” He thundered to him.

                His wife immediately went to him and rubbed his back to calm him down. “Yeobo, please. Control yourself.”

                Daehyun’s whole body was trembling. Tears began to gather in his eyes. “But… I love him…” He told his father with quivering lips.

                His mother noticed that his son was terrified. So he went to sit beside Daehyun, embracing him in his arms. He wiped the tears which had fallen to Daehyun’s cheeks while telling him not to cry. Daehyun hugged him back and laid his head on his mother’s chest.

                The head of the family sighed heavily. He had taken some time to think properly about this problematic situation. “This can’t do. You have to abort the child,” He commanded.

                Daehyun pulled away from his mother to stare at his father in disbelief.

                “Jung Yonghwa!” His mother yelled at the husband of his, using his full name. He would only do that when he’s really mad at him. “How could you say that?!”

                “What?! It’s the only choice that we have!” He snarled.

                “No! I don’t want to!” This time, Daehyun decided to fight back.

                His father glared at him. “Really? You dare to disobey me right now? After what you’ve done to me? To your mom? You have brought shame upon our family!” He pointed to Daehyun while the latter was pressing his lips together to hold his rage.

                “We give you everything! Money, clothes, food! And you want ? Fine! Do it!” Yonghwa threw his hands up. “But you shouldn’t have let something like this happen! And you did it with our rival?! How cheap are you?!”

                Daehyun jumped off the sofa and stood before his father. “I am not cheap!! I love him! I love Seunghyun hyung!”

                “Then why don’t you just go to him?! You put a shame on me and you’re still in this house!? If you don’t want to abort the child, you better get out of here! I don’t want that illegitimate child of the Choi to be in my house!”

                “You think I really want to be here?!” Daehyun stepped closer to his father so that he could throw his words directly to the man’s face. “I just waited for the right time to get out of here! ‘Cause all you care is about your money! If I didn’t tell you that I’m pregnant today, I guess you’ll never know until the child is born since you never care about me! You never listened to me! About my life, my problems! And you expect me to listen to you to abort my child?! There’s no way I’d do that! I’ll give birth to him, raise him and give him the love that I never get from you!”

                Daehyun stopped his rant. His breathing was quick and uneven. His teary eyes held so much hatred as he stared at the man in front of him. But Yonghwa just fixed his fierce expression while his wife couldn’t hold the tears anymore. They were too shocked to hear their son pouring all of his reserved feelings which they didn’t have any idea about it until today.

                “I hate you…” With that, Daehyun walked out from the house, ignoring his mother’s pleading for him to come back because he would never, ever do that.

###

Present time

                Yongguk took a look at his watch. It’s almost time for Daehyun to come and prepare his lunch. That was if the younger didn’t really mean to quit his job. Yongguk sighed as he leaned back to the couch.

                It turned out that he had hurt Daehyun’s feelings. He knew he was not supposed to do that. Hurting Daehyun was not in the list of the things he wanted to do in his life. But he couldn’t help to prevent it from happening when he was hurting inside too. How could Daehyun say things were different now? What had changed between them? For him, he’s still the same, his feelings were still the same. But for Daehyun, he had no idea.

                Yongguk glanced at the window at the side of the living room. The sun was already high up in the sky, showing that it’s already noon. Then, he realized, he forgot to watch the sunset everyday since Daehyun came back into his life. It was his routine starting from years ago, when Daehyun first left him. And now, as the reason he would see the sunset in every single day had finally returned to him, he didn’t need to do it anymore.

                He looked at his watch once more. Daehyun was late. Or maybe he wasn’t coming at all. Daehyun, his sunshine, who brought back the light in his life, had left him again. His heart ached, his lips trembled and his eyes stung with the forming tears. This shouldn’t happen. Not again. He let go of Daehyun once and he wouldn’t let it happen again. He needed Daehyun in his life.

                Yongguk quickly grabbed his phone on the table before him to make a call to his mother’s house. He wiped his wet eyes dry while waiting for someone to pick up his call. As usual, the head housemaid answered it.

                “It’s me, Yongguk. I need the address of my housekeeper, named Jung Daehyun, right now,” He commanded frankly. “Message it to my phone.”

                He was uneasy as he waited for a reply for the information that he wanted. He went out of his house and got into the car. He needed to see Daehyun and clear up  the things between them. The engine was started at the same time he received a text from the head housemaid. As soon as he read it, he sped off to the given destination without wasting any time.

###

                “I’m home,” Daehyun stepped into his apartment and closed the door.

                Junhong averted his eyes from the small TV, looking over his shoulder to his mother. “Eomma…?”

                “Hey, Junnie.” Daehyun smiled. He went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

                Junhong turned off the TV before going after his mother. “I thought you’d go straight to your next job,” He said in a questioning manner.

                “I got a day off today,” Daehyun took a water bottle from the fridge to pour it into a glass. “How come are you still here? It’s Sunday. Shouldn’t you be hanging out with Jongup?”

                “Well, not today,” Junghong retorted, leaning against the table beside the older man.

                Daehyun let out a pleased sigh after gulping down the cold water. “Why?” He asked while cleaning up the table.

                Junhong shrugged. “I don’t feel like it. I feel like lazing at home.”

                Daehyun stared at his son. “What…?” Now he wanted to have a serious talk with the boy. “Junhong-ah, I told you before if you need some money, just ask it from me. I’ll give it to you.”

                “I have some money left in my pocket, eomma. I don’t need any more of it,” Junhong stated.

                “Don’t lie to me,” Daehyun narrowed his eyes. “I’ll give some more and you’ll have to go out with Jongup,” He began searching the wallet in his bag.

                Junhong laughed, shaking his head in amusement. “Eomma, come here,” He pulled the slightly shorter male to sit on the couch. He made Daehyun faced to the side so that he could begin massaging Daehyun’s back. “It’s better for me to stay at home with you rather that going up with Jongup hyung. I rarely get this chance after all.”

                Daehyun was rather taken aback by that. “I’m… I’m sorry… I was just too busy with my works…” He muttered with a sense of guilt.

                “Yeah…” Junhong accepted his mother’s apology, although he didn’t like it when Daehyun overworked. He knew Daehyun would be so tired and it might affect his health. But as much as he hated it, there’s nothing he could do to stop his mother who was just working hard to support their living.

                Daehyun enjoyed the massage from his son. It’s been a while since he had felt so relax. Junhong was really a sweet boy. The boy wasn’t even mad at him for not spending much time together lately. It was making Daehyun felt so wrong to hide his current job from his son. He was not going to keep it a secret though. He was actually waiting for the right time to say about it.

                “Actually,” Daehyun cleared his throat, breaking the temporary silence between them. “I changed my job again… I no longer work at the restaurant anymore. I’m working as a housekeeper. I’m sorry that I was late to tell you,” He apologized again, fixing his gaze to his lap.

                “I know,” Junhong’s response was short and quick.

                Daehyun frowned before turning his body to face his son. “You knew?”

                Junhong nodded. “I know that you changed job,” He started to massage Daehyun’s arm. “You’ve been coming home later than usual since these past few days.”

                “Why didn’t you say anything?”

                “I was waiting for you to say it yourself,” Junhong retorted nonchalantly. Daehyun was indeed a little surprised when the boy didn’t get angry over this too. “Is it okay? Working as a housekeeper?”

                Daehyun’s mind wandered to Yongguk. He remembered the rich man telling him to make lunch for him starting from today. But he didn’t know how he would face Yongguk after what the man had done to him last night. That’s why he said that he wanted to quit the job. And now, he kind of regretted it because he needed to find another one soon.

                But every time the way Yongguk had treated him last night flashed before his eyes, he just couldn’t bring himself to that huge house again. The hatred towards Yongguk would only grow if he saw his face again.

                And Daehyun didn’t want it to be like that. He didn’t want to hate Yongguk. Because after all, he still loved him.

                “Eomma,” Junhong spoke up again. “You did it again. You’re always lost in your thoughts recently.”

                Daehyun’s eyes widened. “I-I do…?” He stuttered, trying his best to put a façade.

                Junhong failed to notice Daehyun being different. Instead, he was immersed in his own thoughts. Taking a deep breath, he decided to voice it out to his mother. “Eomma, I’ve got something to tell you…”

                Daehyun locked eyes with his son. He was about to ask Junhong to go on but then, there’s somebody outside, knocking on their door.

###

                The journey that should have taken an at least twenty minutes long by car, was reduced to ten minutes with Yongguk driving hurriedly and taking short cuts here and there. He finally arrived at a walk-up apartment, located at the far side of the Seoul city.

                Yongguk got off his car to stare at the three-story building in front of him. He was confused for a moment. How could the Jung Daehyun he knew lived in this place? He should be living in a mansion like the one which belong to his mother. Had the househousekeeper had sent him the wrong address? But she rarely made mistakes.

                Well, there’s only one way to find out. Yongguk began to enter the building and climbed the stairs up to the second floor. He searched for a door numbered 2-11 and when he found it, his heart started thumping in his chest. He stood in front of the door, thinking if he really should knock it. He was scared if Daehyun was really in there. What would he say to him? How would Daehyun react towards him? And above all, how did Daehyun end up here?

                Yongguk took a deep breath, bracing himself to lift his fist before knocking the door. The first few knocks were soft and hesitant. No sounds could be heard from the inside. So he knocked a little bit louder, until there was a sound of steps coming closer to the door.

                It was finally opened and Yongguk was greeted by a young teenage boy. “Yes?” The boy gazed at him with raised brows above his curious eyes.

                “Umm… Is this… Umm… Is Jung Daehyun living here?” Yongguk stuttered out his question. He was nearly sure that he got the wrong address because of the tall boy. Although somehow, the boy with defined jawline and doe eyes looked quite familiar to him. Especially, those eyes…

                “Yes,” The boy answered.

                That’s not what Yongguk had expected. If this was really Daehyun’s apartment, then who’s this boy?

                “Umm… May I know who you are?” Yongguk asked carefully.

                The boy slightly frowned to the weird stranger. He eyed him up and down before answering, “I’m his son.”

###

And I need you most

Morning sunrise, the brink of a day

I breathe your kiss from miles away

How I need you most

Afternoon rays, ignites in the haze

You light me up from miles away

Song : And I Need You Most by Hey

So, I did make Daehyun’s mother a male because why not? Since Daehyun’s also a mother to Junhong :)

Thanks a lot to upvoters, subscribers, readers and commenters! Saranghae~ ♥♥♥

#3YearsWithBAP #JusticeForBAP #ForeverWithBAP