“Sometimes I hope that the man who caused our sufferings was dead.

But on a second thought, maybe it should be me.”

– Junhong –

Present time

                Junhong observed the way his mother’s face was shining brightly so early in the morning. He wondered if it was because of Yongguk. That made sense because they were going to get married in a few weeks. His mother had been so busy making calls here and there and the table in the living room eventually full of their wedding and honeymoon packages.

                “Do you want more bread?” Daehyun asked from across the smaller dining table which was used for breakfast.

                Junhong shook his head, showing the half eaten one in his hand as his mouth was still busy chewing the food.

                “Why does he take so long in the bathroom?” Daehyun complained, referring to his fiancé who had woken up more than fifteen minutes ago. He took a look at the stairs but there was no sign of the man.

                Junhong chuckled, amused to see his mother being concern and caring towards another man. He rarely did that with his father. “Tell me, eomma,” Junhong spoke up after swallowing. “What do you like so much about Yongguk-ssi?”

                Daehyun’s face got slightly redder than before. He didn’t see that coming from his son. After pretending to have a thought for a moment, Daehyun playfully smiled at the boy. “The same reason you like Jongup.”

                Now Junhong was the one blushing. “I don’t like Jongup,” He denied and casually continued eating his breakfast, just to avoid looking at Daehyun’s eyes.

                Daehyun laughed at his son’s cuteness. “You can’t lie to me. I’m your mother. Mothers know everything.”

                Of course he couldn’t lie to his mother. Junhong couldn’t help to subtly pull a smile. The feelings he had for Jongup couldn’t be described with words. Maybe that was what his mother was trying to point out to him about Yongguk.

                “Morning!” Yongguk greeted as he appeared in the kitchen. “I’m sorry my digestive system was making troubles in the morning.”

                “Are you okay, now?” Daehyun asked worriedly.

                “Yeah, I’m fine,” He grinned sheepishly before taking a seat beside the other too.

                Daehyun sighed in relief. “Do you want coffee or tea?” He stood up to make the drink for his fiancé.

                “Coffee, please,” Yongguk replied and began his breakfast. “So, Junhong, how about today? Can I send you to school?”

                Junhong shook his head. “No, it’s okay. I’ll go on my own.”

                Yongguk frowned, disappointed at the boy’s answer. “But I can send you there.”

                “No, no, no. I’ll walk,” Junhong stressed as he took a look at his watch. “In fact, I should go now if I don’t want to be late.”

                “You won’t be late if you go with me,” Yongguk argued but the boy was already gulping down his glass of milk while slowly standing up.

                Junhong wiped his mouth with the napkin and picked up his bag from the floor. “Bye bye, I’ll see you later!” He said to Yongguk before going to his mother for a goodbye kiss.

                Daehyun didn’t say anything. He just kissed his son’s cheek in return like he always did. Junhong rushed out of the kitchen after that and Yongguk just realized something.

                “Junhong, wait!” Yongguk shouted. “You didn’t take your pocket money yet!”

                The sound of retreating footsteps stopped and got louder again. “Oh, yeah I forgot,” Junhong went to Yongguk who was opening his wallet to give some money to him.

                “Thank you, love you, bye bye!” Junhong waved as soon as he got his pocket money. But he remembered to go to his mother to kiss his cheek once more.

                Daehyun shook his head at his son’s clumsiness. He had finished making Yongguk’s coffee and returned to the dining table. That’s when he noticed a cellphone beside the boy’s used plate. “Oh, Junhong! Your phone!” He yelled when he didn’t hear the sound of the front door being opened yet.

                “Why does he need to be in such a rush?” Yongguk questioned to Daehyun, taking a sip of his hot coffee. “He doesn’t have to be like this if he just let me send him to school.”

                “He has been like that since kindergarten,” Daehyun shrugged. “He likes to take his time going to school and forth.”

                Once again, Junhong emerged in the kitchen. His mother was holding his phone out to him and he bashfully took it. “Ah, I’m sorry I’m not used to its existence yet,” He reasoned.

                “What are you talking about? It has been almost a month since you got it,” Daehyun nagged.

                Junhong nodded vigorously at his mother, unable to bicker with him right now. “Yeah, okay I’ll really have to go now,” He uttered before giving his mother a hug and a kiss on the cheek again.

                “This is the third time you kissed me,” Daehyun told the boy and Yongguk laughed.

                “Really?” Junhong made a face as if he just realized about that. “Whatever,” He shrugged his shoulders before pecking Daehyun’s cheek one more time. “I should kiss you while I still can,” He supposed and pecked the other side, causing his mother to giggle. “Bye bye!” He waved at both Daehyun and Yongguk, finally leaving the house for school.

###

10 years ago

                He didn’t know what was going on. He couldn’t hear anything, he couldn’t feel anything. His body was tingling everywhere and sometimes there was an electric shock that would make his body jerked and twitched. Everything was getting blurry but he could clearly saw his mother’s face above him, looking so pale and terrified. His mother seemed like he was shouting for something but he couldn’t even hear a single sound.

                The next thing he knew, they were outside. His mother was carrying him. Everything moved so fast around him. Why was his mother running with him in his arms? Things only slowed down after they got to somewhere with white walls.

                Though his body was numb, he knew it was his mother who was holding his hand all the time when the people in white were surrounding him. His mother would never let go of his hand. That’s what he thought until he surprisingly could hear his mother’s whisper.

                “You’ll be fine without me, right?”

                And his mother let go of his hand.

Present time

                Junhong gasped, waking up from his nap at the same time. He was sleeping at his seat in the classroom during the recess time instead of going to have a meal at the cafeteria. He didn’t get much sleep last night because of a bad dream. It was happening more and more often since a month ago but he never remembered the dream he had after he woke up. Sometimes he would go to his mother when he couldn’t go back to sleep. Sometimes he would just do anything to fill his time until morning.

                But now after having that dream, he was sure it was the same dream he had always have recently. It was a bad dream, a horrifying dream because actually, his mother never let go of his hand. His mother had run more than a mile from their home to the hospital in the middle of the night while carrying him because he was having a seizure from a high fever. But his mother held his hand from the start until the end. His mother stayed by his side until he went into a deep sleep. His mother was still with him after he woke up on the hospital bed. But why did his mother leave him in his dream?

                Junhong began to feel uneasy. There were still hours to go before the school ends but he felt like going home to see his mother right that second. But he tried telling his own mind that it was just a dream. It was just a vision that can only be seen in sleep. He shouldn’t be thinking too much about it. The reality was not a bit like those crappy novels where you could predict what would happen in the future based on a dream.

                Junhong managed to get that dream out of his mind until the last class was finished. He started his walk to Yongguk’s house which was nearer compared to his apartment. Just as he arrived at the front gate, he got a text from his mother saying that he went to their apartment to check for mails and get some things.

                A sudden chill ran through his veins. Junhong didn’t know why but he was getting anxious. The thought of his mother being alone outside of Yongguk’s house frightened him. What if his bastard father saw his mother again?

                Junhong decided to give his mother a call. When Daehyun didn’t answer after a few calls had been made, his heart thumped rapidly in his chest, cold sweats were rolling down all over his body. Without thinking twice, he began running to the nearest bus stop. He stood there, waiting for a bus to come. Seconds felt like forever and he couldn’t bear the petrified feeling anymore. So he ran. Even if his feet would hurt later on, it didn’t matter as long as he could confirm that his mother just didn’t hear his phone ringing.

###

                “Finally!”

                Daehyun was startled by the sudden loud voice right after he had unlocked the door to his apartment. He didn’t know when but Seunghyun was already standing beside him before he could even recall whom the voice belonged to. His feet were rooted to the ground. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t even look up at the man but he knew Seunghyun was staring at him.

                “One month!” Seunghyun yelled and Daehyun jumped. “I’ve been coming here, everyday, since last month, like a stupid person, but you’re never home!” He shouted every single word into Daehyun’s ear, causing the younger man to cower in his spot.

                “Wh-What do you w-want?” Daehyun stuttered in fright.

                Seunghyun sighed heavily before kicking the slightly opened apartment door. “What else can I get from you,” He grabbed the back of Daehyun’s collar, ing the smaller man forward. Daehyun stumbled into the apartment, almost losing his balance but he quickly regained it. Seunghyun followed after, locking the door behind him.

                Daehyun just watched the man lighted up his cigarette. His heart was pounding as he thought of his fate after being alone with this beast. He was so scared that he flinched when Seunghyun began to walk further into the apartment. There was only silence except for the sound of Seunghyun’s footsteps but he was sure his fast heartbeats were a lot louder than that.

                The older man was peacefully smoking in the middle of the apartment. Daehyun thought Seunghyun was waiting for his money. “I… I don’t have much right now. I still can’t find a job,” He braved himself to speak up.

                Seunghyun scoffed. “You’re finding a job?” He turned around to show his scornful expression. “Are you joking? ‘Cause it’s funny.”

                Daehyun averted his eyes when Seunghyun glared at him. He didn’t know what Seunghyun was saying so he just kept his mouth shut while fidgeting in his spot.

                “If he could give that much money to me, you would’ve had ten times more,” Seunghyun hinted but Daehyun only frowned at him.

                “Don’t act all innocent in front of me!” He barked. “I know you’re hooking up with that poor guy again!”

                Hook up? Poor guy? It took Daehyun a moment until he finally figured out who Seunghyun was talking about. “H-How did you know?”

                Seunghyun laughed maniacally. “You’re lying to me all this time,” He shook his head in fake amusement. “Saying that you work as his housekeeper…” His face was fierce again. “When you’re actually his lover!”

                “I didn’t lie-”

                “Shut up!” Seunghyun cut Daehyun off. He rushed towards the younger man, grabbed him by his shirt before throwing the frail body onto the ground.

                Daehyun fell on one side of his body. His bones crashed with the hard floor and he cried in pain. Then came another blow on his back, right onto his backbone, making him screamed at the excruciating hit, which he guessed was Seunghyun’s large foot.

                “He met me. He really went to my place just to meet me,” Seunghyun paused to take a drag of his cigarette. “He gave me money and said to leave you alone,” He snorted. “Does he think I’m stupid? So what if he tell the police? It’s not like they could catch me right away.”

                Daehyun could barely hear what Seunghyun was blabbering about. With his eyes shut tightly, he curled and uncurled his body since the pain was spreading all over his limbs. It wouldn’t go away. So he tried to stay still by rolling onto his painful back. But Seunghyun decided to trample on his stomach.

                “Arghhh!!!” Daehyun’s screech echoed throughout the small apartment. It was torturous.

                Seunghyun breathed out the smoke in his lungs before crouching down next to Daehyun. He mindlessly grasped Daehyun’s hair to make the younger man sit up. Daehyun whimpered, beads of tears started to fall from his eyes as he was forced with the agonizing pain. But that was just a start. When Seunghyun’s fist struck his face after that, he knew there was a hell ahead of him.

###

                The journey to his apartment took twenty minutes by car from Yongguk’s house but Junhong managed to take almost the same time by taking shortcuts here and there. He never stopped running though his lungs and legs were burning inside. But those aches were all forgotten once he reached his apartment. Blood drained from his head when he saw the door was opened.

                Junhong rushed inside, noticing some the furniture were moved from their original place as if the apartment was hit by a cyclone. But that didn’t shock him as much as the still figure behind the couch. His jaw dropped, unable to scream, unable to breathe. He was still trying to believe what his eyes were looking at.

                His bag was thrown aside, his school jacket was taken off as he hurried to his mother who was lying unconsciously on the floor. He turned the unmoving body to lie on its back but Junhong didn’t expect to see his mother in such a battered stare. Daehyun looked like he was beaten to a pulp with all the blood and cuts on his face and body, his shirt was torn in places. The horrible sight made him choked up in tears.

                “Eomma! Eomma!” Junhong desperately shook his unconscious mother. “Eomma, wake up! Please!” He cried out his plead, shaking his mother’s body again and again.

                Daehyun slowly opened his eyes after a while, his face contorted in pain. Junhong was slightly relieved. “Eomma, are you okay?”

                Daehyun cracked an eye open and saw his son’s harrowed expression. He weakly nodded to answer the boy.

                “Do you want to go to the hospital?”

                Daehyun shook his head hardly. “No…” He croaked. It was not surprising to find that he was losing his voice after all the screaming he did because of the endless unbearable hits his body received.

                “Eomma, they look bad,” Junhong carefully touched his mother’s bruised cheek to have a look at the bleeding temple. “Let’s just go to the hospital.”

                Daehyun shook his head more vigorously this time. “No…” He grunted as he tried to sit up with the boy’s help. “That’d be troublesome…and I’m tired…”

                “But eomma…” Junhong continued to cry, moreover after seeing his mother’s pained expression in every move he made.

                “It’s okay, Junhong. I’m okay…” Daehyun convinced his son, sighing heavily once he could finally sit on his bottom. That’s when a distinguished cigarette fell down to his side.

                Junhong stared at it with wide eyes. He was too concerned of his mother that he forgot there must be someone who caused all of this. He picked up the stubbed cigarette before looking up at his mother. “That man did this to you, right?”

                Daehyun avoided the boy’s gaze, lowering down his head and busied himself by looking at his bruised arm. But he really didn’t have to say anything for his son to know. Junhong crushed the cigarette in a tight first. Anger was building up in him. He got up without saying a word and hastened towards the door.

                “Where are you going?”

                “To find that bastard! I know where he’s at,” He stormed out of the house to go to his father’s place. He definitely knew where it was since he had followed Seunghyun once years ago and now he hoped that man was still there.

                Daehyun’s eyes widened in fear. “Junhong…” He called feebly, trying to get up on his feet. “Junhong! Junhong!!” He shouted with his sore throat as he staggered to the door.

                Junhong was not anywhere in sight when he looked outside of his apartment. He wanted to chase his son but his whole body was throbbing in pain. Anybody could do something stupid when they were extremely angry. He was afraid if anything would happen to his son. And then Yongguk crossed him mind.

                Daehyun’s legs wobbled as he went back into his apartment to search for his phone that had dropped somewhere. He found in on the floor and quickly picked it up to dial Yongguk’s number for help.

                “Hey, Daehyun,” Yongguk answered the call.

                Daehyun couldn’t stop the urge to cry once he heard his fiancé’s voice. “Junhong…” He sobbed, clutching onto his cramped muscles at the side of his stomach. “Hyung…”

                “Daehyun, are you okay?” Yongguk panicked.

                “Junhong, he… He goes to find Seunghyun…”

                “What? Why?”

                “I can’t, I can’t believe that kid! How can he leave me and go to that man just like that?” Daehyun burst out his mixed feelings in a rant. Junhong’s act angered him but he was worried about his son at the same time.

                “No, Daehyun. You need to calm down.”

                Daehyun cried even more. “I’m afraid he’ll get hurt. He doesn’t know what he’s up to.”

                “You bet that right. I’ll be right on my way.”

                Daehyun nodded though Yongguk couldn’t see it. But then he realized how far Yongguk’s workplace from here and how long would it take. He went back to worrying about his son’s safety. Anything could happen within that amount of time.

                Daehyun shook his head. “I’m going. I can’t let Junhong go to that place alone.”

                “No! Daehyun! You stay right there! It’s dangerous!”

                Daehyun brought away the phone from his ear.

                “Daehyun, listen to me! Don’t go!” Yongguk’s warn was faintly heard.

                Daehyun finally cut the line off. He took a deep breath and forced his body to bear all the pain while he ran out of his apartment.

###

                Junhong arrived at Seunghyun’s place faster than he thought. Maybe he was overflowing with anger that he didn’t feel tired even a bit after going for another far distance on foot. He banged on the door, just to see if the man was there or not. After a moment of silence, he pounded his fist onto the door again and again.

                “What?!” Seunghyun yelled from the inside.

                “Open the door!” Junhong shouted back.

                “Get the hell away from here!”

                Junhong gritted his teeth at Seunghyun’s reply. That man irritate him to the core, he just had to let the man know how he wished for his own father’s death. He kicked the door without thinking twice, breaking the lock before barging in.

                “What the ?!” Seunghyun jerked up from his single bed. He looked sleepy with messy bed hair. He was probably in a deep slumber just now.

                Junhong didn’t even care about that. He straightaway charged towards the man before grabbing his collar. “What did you do to my mother, ?!”

                Seunghyun scoffed, not a bit shaken up with the boy’s rage. “I can do whatever I want to that ,” He gripped Junhong’s wrist and unhooked them from his shirt. “You don’t have to meddle with our problem!” He snapped as he threw a punch on the boy’s face.

                Junhong stumbled back with the strong force on his face and ended up falling down onto his . His cheekbone was hurting but his heart was in a lot more pain. His father should have known it would tick him off if anybody regarded his mother like that. Nobody should call his mother a .

                “An animal like you should just die,” He growled while wiping off the blood at the corner of his mouth.

                “If I’m an animal, then you’re an animal’s son,” Seunghyun smirked but after a second, he scowled. “You’re a mistake. You shouldn’t be born to this world. All of this wouldn’t happen if you never exist.”

                Just like that, the fire in Junhong’s eyes faded out to the tiniest bit. His father’s words stabbed through his heart like thousands of daggers. His father made it seemed like it was all his fault. But how could he do anything about it? He never asked to be born into this cruel world.

                “My mistake was to let you live,” Seunghyun said as he pulled a drawer beside his bed. He was taking out his gun. “I can’t make the same mistake twice,” He went to stand in front of the boy and the gun was pointed to Junhong’s head.

                “No!!” Daehyun’s shout sounded at the door and both of Seunghyun and Junhong whipped their head towards him.

                “My son’s not a mistake!” He was panting from the run, holding onto the doorframe for a support. It terrified him to see how close the gun was with Junhong’s head but he was still glad that he could make it on time, or else he would regret it for the rest of his life if Seunghyun ever pulled the trigger.

                “For me he is, no matter what you say,” Seunghyun’s tone was full of hatred.

                “You can’t do that to him,” Daehyun pleaded in tears. “He never did anything wrong to you.”

                “Never?” Seunghyun scoffed. “This illegitimate child made me leave my family!” He pointed at the boy who was staring at him using his gun again.

                “He made me worked my off seven days a week, twenty four hours a day, just to make sure that he’ll live. But then I remembered, I didn’t even want him to be born. You’re the one who’s hard-headed, opposed your parents and ran out of your home because you wanted this kid to live!” Seunghyun yelled at Daehyun.

                “But you’re the one who made me pregnant! If you’re aware of the consequences, why did you still have an unsafe with me?! If you’re being careful that day, we wouldn’t be the way we are now! You know how to make a child but you don’t know how to be responsible about it!!” Daehyun snapped, causing his son to look at him in shock.

                Somehow, Daehyun’s words pierced Junhong’s heart. It sounded like his mother was grieving over his existence in this world. Unknowingly, tears welled up in his eyes and fell onto his lap when his head was hanging low.

                “You ing cheated with that poor guy!” Seunghyun countered.

                “Because you didn’t want to let me go!” Daehyun fought back. “Now give me my son back!” He started to limp forward to go get Junhong back to himself.

                “Back off!” Seunghyun threatened Daehyun by directing his gun at him, making the younger man stopped in his path. “I’m trying to kill this kid!” He aimed his gun at Junhong again and Daehyun almost had a heart attack.

                “Stop!” Another voice shouted from the door, this time belonging to Yongguk. He was out of breath too, possibly by running from his car and up the stairs.

                Daehyun was a little bit relieved to see his lover. Junhong thought it was getting ridiculous. He didn’t mean to drag Yongguk into this situation. Whereas Seunghyun could only laugh in disbelief. He was surrounded by three of them now, of course he was even more vexed than before.

                “Look at this! One, big, happy family!” Seunghyun threw his hands up, staring silently at each of his unwelcomed guests. Then his gun was lifted again. “It won’t be long ‘cause I’ll kill all of you!”

                “You better have second thought about that,” Yongguk warned. He knew the same bodyguard he had brought here not long ago was much more needed right now but he couldn’t think of anything except coming here as fast as possible. Pulling out his own revolver from behind, he slowly took a step forward while aiming the gun at the psychotic man.

                Seunghyun too fixed the direction of his gun at Yongguk. “I’ve thought about it for the past ten years, or even more than that.”

                “How can a father kill his own son?” Yongguk condemned.

                “I’ve never considered him as my son,” Seunghyun retorted scornfully.

                Junhong observed the tensed conversation between the two armed men. His mother was also paying so much attention to what they were talking about. He saw a chance. He slowly stood up behind Seunghyun, glad that none of them noticed it. Reaching to the back pocket of his pants, he took out a folded knife that he had bought without his mother knowing ever since he had said that he would fight his father every time he would come to ask for money. But he never had a chance to use it, until now.

                “Then just stay out of their lives. I gave you enough money, didn’t I? I think it’s more than you ever used to feed both of them,” Yongguk continued.

                That’s when Daehyun noticed his son was approaching Seunghyun from the man’s back. The boy was holding a knife in his hand and his mind was asking where did he get that? Junhong was now only an arm span from the man. What if Seunghyun turned around? Daehyun’s body started to tremble in fear. He forced his eyes to stay on Seunghyun to avoid being suspicious. He pretended so hard not to show the fright on his face while working his brain on a way to protect his son from any danger.

                “You can’t talk like that when you tried to snatch Daehyun away from me, couldn’t you? You’re so poor that Daehyun didn’t even think to find you when he’s pregnant,” Seunghyun countered.

                “Because it’s not my child he’s carrying,” Yongguk too had somehow realized that Junhong was trying to attack Seunghyun from behind but he tried to not divert his gaze on Seunghyun or the man would definitely wonder what Yongguk was looking at behind him.

               “You couldn’t even prevent your anger from controlling your mind and you really had to let it all out on Daehyun through that dirty way,” Yongguk added, tightening his grip on his gun when Junhong was already standing right behind the man, just to be ready for any possible incidents.

                Yongguk thought of a way to gain Seunghyun’s full attention. “But for your information, I searched for him all the time even if he ran away from me,” He dragged his speech. “And now I’ve found him. He’ll completely be mine soon.”

                Seunghyun gritted his teeth. He stared at both Yongguk and Daehyun alternately in silence. “It will never be that easy,” He muttered before turning around in a sudden movement.

                Daehyun gasped. Junhong was frozen in his spot. Yongguk fixed his aim on Seunghyun.

                “ing kid!” Seunghyun leveled up his gun at the boy’s chest, ready to pull the trigger.

                Junhong’s eyes widened. Everything around him slowed down. The bullet was triggered with a loud bang. Junhong could only shut his eyes for the impact.

                His body collapsed onto the floor, feeling heavier than before. Another shot echoed throughout the small apartment. But there wasn’t any pain so he shakily opened his eyes. It was his mother. The impact was from his mother, not the bullet.

                Junhong hastily sat up and saw red on Daehyun’s back.

                Yongguk shot Seunghyun almost at the same time. He thought he could stop the man but he was late by mere seconds. He missed, the bullet only hit Seunghyun’s arm instead. He thought he was the one getting shot right through his heart after seeing Seunghyun’s bullet disappeared into Daehyun’s small back.

                Junhong felt like his soul left his body. He quickly lifted Daehyun’s body and cradled his mother’s head. “Eomma!” He cried his lungs out. His mother’s body was limp in his hold.

                “Junhong-ah…” Daehyun whispered with half-lidded eyes. He tried to focus on his son’s face but his life’s journey began flashing in his clouded mind.

 “Happy birthday!”

“My mom is too young, I don't have a father and I'm an illegitimate child!”

“Have you ever thought, if you didn’t deliver me into this world, you wouldn’t live like this right now?”

 “They said I don’t have any appa.”

“Eomma and appa are not married...?”

                Daehyun remembered everything about his son ever since the boy came into his life; Junhong’s first day of school, Junhong’s first step, Junhong being born into this world as his child.

                Yongguk’s breath was quick as he gazed at Daehyun lying weakly in Junhong’s arms. He dragged his feet towards them while his mind kept telling him that this was just a nightmare, the worst one he could ever have.

                Seunghyun groaned in pain having the bullet in his arm. He looked around to find his gun but he couldn’t guess where he had thrown it. So he just attacked Yongguk from behind, knocking the man’s gun off his grip.

                However, Yongguk managed to gather himself after receiving the hard blow on his back. Seunghyun was really pissing him off. The love of his life had just got shot by this man and now he wanted to have a fist fight with him. Of course he wouldn’t spare any mercy on him.

                “Eomma!!” Junhong desperately called his mother again and again when Daehyun’s eyelids were drooping by the seconds. He looked at Yongguk. The man was busy blocking Seunghyun’s constant attacks.

                But Junhong had a thought that he couldn’t waste any time. So he lifted his mother’s thin frame before scurrying out of the place. “I’m taking eomma to the hospital!” He shouted, hoping that Yongguk could hear him in the midst of the struggle.

                Junhong ran by the sidewalk though his view was clouded with tears. Everyone was curiously staring at him but none of them wanted to interfere with someone else’ matter. He would stop by the road once in a while to see if there was any taxi passing by. When it only slowed him down, he just proceeded to run to the hospital while carrying his mother in his arms, just like what his mother had done to him one time ago.

                Daehyun felt like he was floating. His body felt so light without any pain. He saw Junhong’s crying face above him. He wanted to wipe off the tears but his hand wouldn’t move. His mind kept replaying his whole life even if he didn’t ask for it.

“I’m so happy you’re getting married!”

“If you’re going to be happy with him, then I’ll be happy to see both of you together.”

‘Marry me’, “Will you, Jung Daehyun?”

“I warned you not to run away again!”

“Let’s have another chance.”

“That’s absurd. Of course there’s someone who loves you.”

“If you don’t want to abort the child, you better get out of here!”

 “I’m gonna show everyone who you really belong to.”

“Lucky you. You've found someone who would love you sincerely.”

 “They’re making fun of him, saying that… he’s an illegitimate child…”

 “You’d come here everyday to watch the sunset?”

“I missed you.”

“I have always loved you.”

“I love you, eomma.”

“I only have you in this world… You won’t leave me, right…?”

                Daehyun remembered when he was a child, he would ask his mom to bake a cake and then he would say 'I love you, eomma' with the sweetest smile he could pull.

                He closed his eyes. “I’m sorry, eomma,” He mumbled. He wouldn’t have the chance to see him. He really wanted to meet him but he knew he couldn’t.

                He wanted to stop Junhong’s cry, he wanted to see Junhong’s smile and hug him before he go. He wanted to see Yongguk for one last time, he wanted to embrace him and tell him how much he loved him. He would really miss both of them.

                “I’m sorry, Yongguk hyung. Junhong, I’m sorry…”

###

It scatters

The times we spent together

The memories of you being with me

Can I hug you again just like before?

Can I travel back in time?

Just for once, even if it’s the last

I will be okay

Song: Back in Time by Lyn

A/N:

I know this chap is super long but I can't find the right place to cut it into parts.

You can take your time reading it and I'm sorry if it is tiring >,<

Two chapters left! The next one will be up soon and by soon I mean really soon C=

Thank you to all upvoters, subcribers, readers and comments!