“I regret nothing.”

– Daehyun –

Present time

                Yongguk was at Daehyun’s apartment again. Both of them were curled up together on the couch as they wait for Junhong to come home from school. They didn’t go to his house tonight because Junhong still needed to go to school tomorrow. Plus, he didn’t want his mother to suddenly make an appearance there and ruined their happy moments.

                Yongguk had his arm around Daehyun while they were watching a TV show. The younger of the two nestled up against Yongguk’s torso, his arm draping over the man’s waist. They weren’t usually like this when they were in the apartment because they were afraid of being seen by Junhong. But now they could exactly tell the time Junhong would be home and they would pretend like nothing happened in front of the boy.

                “Are you free on Wednesday?” Yongguk suddenly asked after he took a look at his cellphone.

                “The day after tomorrow?” Daehyun pondered without tearing his eyes off the TV. “I don’t know. I have to work in the morning as usual and then I’m planning to go out to find a new job. That’s if I still don’t get one by today or tomorrow,” He explained.

                “You’re really strong willed in finding a new job, aren’t you?” Yongguk ruffled Daehyun’s hair as he stared down at the younger.

                Daehyun tilted his head up, flicking his eyes towards his lover. “Well, of course. Junhong and I need to keep on living.”

                Yongguk just pressed his lips on Daehyun’s crown before resting his cheek on it with a long sigh. “If you just let me support both of you financially, you won’t have to go through all of those hardships again,” He said genuinely.

                Daehyun didn’t know how many times Yongguk had said his wish to be his source of income but he was still reluctant about it. “Easy for you to say,” He let out a long sigh and sat up on the couch to face the older man. “Junhong is my son. What will other people think if they know me and my son are living off you?”

                “It doesn’t matter whatever they think of us. It is what I want to do. Junhong is like my own son. Of course I want to pamper him too,” Yongguk calmly said in respond, still holding onto Daehyun’s waist as if he didn’t want even an inch separating them.

                Daehyun shifted his gaze downcast. “But you don’t really have to do that. I don’t want us to be a burden to you,” He muttered while brushing off the invisible dust on his pants.

                Yongguk chuckled. “What burden?” He grabbed Daehyun’s hand, causing the latter to look up at him. “You know that I’ve always treat you and Junhong like family. And I would surely want my family to have my support, right?”

                The way Yongguk was looking keenly at him overwhelmed Daehyun’s insides with warmth that make his heart thumped a beat faster. “But we are not…a family…” He hesitated, afraid if the truth would hurt the hopeful man.

                Yongguk fixed his position so that he could hold both of Daehyun’s hand and face him properly. He seemed determined with what he was going to say, having a small but assuring smile on his face. “Then let’s become one, a family. I want to be your husband and Junhong’s father.”

                Daehyun was stunned. He stared at Yongguk for a moment to figure out whether the man was being serious or not, though anybody would know this matter would never be a joke. “Do you really mean it…?”

                “Yes,” Yongguk was fast to answer, his smile widening by the second.

                There was a surge of mixed feelings through his vessels. Daehyun couldn’t hold in it anymore. He broke into a blissful laugh before throwing his body onto Yongguk’s.  His arms wrapped around Yongguk’s neck in a tight hug, making their cheeks squashed by each other.

                Yongguk laughed in relief. He squeezed Daehyun’s slender body in his embrace, feeling really glad that his lover had finally agreed to merge their lives together. When Daehyun parted from him, he just held the younger on his lap, staring fondly into those beautiful eyes until he decided to pull the younger man for a kiss.

                Daehyun submitted to the devoted kiss. He ran his fingers through Yongguk’s hair as the man savored every part of his mouth. He hummed in pleasure when Yongguk was nibbling his lips. But when it started to get playful, he ended their make out session with a giggle.

                Yongguk smiled at the sight of his happy lover. He wiped Daehyun’s wet lips and fixed his tousled hair until he remembered about his initial intention. “Oh, I almost forgot, about this Wednesday,” He spoke up.

                “Oh, yeah,” Daehyun recalled. He got down from Yongguk’s lap and sat back onto the couch. “What about it?”

                Yongguk slung his arm around Daehyun’s shoulders to make sure the smaller man was always close to him. “My friend will be in Seoul for three days starting from today. He comes here for a business trip so he asks me for a lunch the day after tomorrow.”

                “Which friend? Where is he from?” Daehyun asked.

                “My best friend in college. He’s from Ilsan,” Yongguk explained briefly.

                Daehyun acknowledged with a nod. “It’s good that you still keep in touch with each other.”

                “You should come with me to the lunch,” Yongguk suggested out of nowhere.

                Daehyun frowned, half surprised, half confused. “What? Why?”

                “I can introduce you to him,” Yongguk said but shook his head after that. “No, scratch that,” He placed his other hand over Daehyun’s on top of the younger’s thigh and gazed straight into the eyes. “I want to introduce you to him.”

                Daehyun’s heart fluttered for a second, not really sure whether it was because of Yongguk’s act or because he was getting nervous to meet Yongguk’s friend. His brows knitted together in uncertainty. “But it’ll be awkward for me. You two will have lots to talk about and I don’t want to be a bother,” He stated full of worry.

                “No, you won’t,” Yongguk denied sternly. “He said that he’ll bring his lover too. He followed him to his business trip,” He tried to sound more convincing. “So, yes or no?” Turning to look at the other man again, he gave Daehyun’s hand a light squeeze along with the question.

                Daehyun didn’t take long to pull a smile. “If you insist, then yes, I’ll go,” He finally agreed. Besides, Yongguk didn’t really approve him to go find another job that afternoon.

                Yongguk’s lips mirrored Daehyun’s smile. “Thanks,” He lifted Daehyun’s hand before earnestly kissing it.

###

                Yongguk brought Daehyun to the promised place to meet his friend. It was just a small standard restaurant since it would be more convenient for them to have a chat. Daehyun too would be a lot more comfortable with the surrounding.

                They walked into the restaurant hand in hand. Daehyun was only following his lover’s lead as Yongguk craned his neck to take a look around. When he saw a hand beckoning him from the far corner of the place, he tugged Daehyun’s hand to trail the man in the direction he was going.

                Daehyun wondered which one of the customers in the shop was Yongguk’s friend. His eyes kept scanning from table to table as they walked passed them. But they didn’t stop at any until they reached the furthermost table in the coffee shop. Daehyun moved a little to Yongguk’s side when his view was shielded by his lover’s shoulder.

                “Himchan! How have you been?” Yongguk excitedly greeted his old friend, holding out his free hand to the man.

                The said guy stood up from his seat and completed their handshake. “I’m great!” He pulled Yongguk into a half hug while patting his back. “You?”

                “Never better,” Yongguk smiled, glancing at the shorter male beside him.

                Himchan followed his friend’s gaze. “Ah… You must be the sunshine he’s always talking about,” He stretched out his hand but it went unnoticed to the latter.

                Himchan arched up his eyebrow at Daehyun’s ignorance. He stared quizzically at the barely known as his friend’s lover. But then he realized that Daehyun was more interested in the other person he had brought here with him.

                “Daehyun?” Yongguk frowned at the somehow shocked looking Daehyun. The younger man didn’t say anything. Daehyun just clenched his hand tighter, causing him to be even more puzzled with his lover’s strange behaviour.

                Himchan turned to look at his boyfriend who was still sitting next to him. He was also wearing an astounded expression like he was seeing the dead coming back to life.

                The man who was not yet introduced as Himchan’s lover slowly got up, his eyes never stop staring at the familiar guy. “Dae… Daehyun…?”  He asked meekly.

                Daehyun’s lips quivered as he let out a shaky breath. “Youngjae…” He murmured.

                When Yongguk noticed Daehyun’s hand started to tremble, he tightened his grip around it. “You know each other?”

                Daehyun finally diverted his eyes from Youngjae to Yongguk. “He’s…my cousin…”

                Yongguk saw it. He saw the look in Daehyun’s eyes when the younger gazed up at him. Daehyun was scared, he was not ready for this. Yongguk just wanted to take that fragile figure into his arms right then and there if he could.

                “Really? He’s your cousin?” Himchan asked his lover, placing his hand on the other’s narrower back.

                Youngjae nodded. “Yeah, my cousin, Jung Daehyun,” He couldn’t help but to smile at his own thought. He had finally found him; the one he had spent years searching for. It was surreal. He couldn’t believe how easily his long search had ended.

                He rushed towards Daehyun and engulfed the man in his embrace. His tears broke out at the feeling of his cousin’s slim frame. He was really touched to be able to hold Daehyun again like this but at the same time, he was saddened by how much Daehyun had changed in the past years. Daehyun became a lot skinnier compared to when he was still a teenager. But above all, Daehyun didn’t lose the gleam in himself, he looked so much better than he ever was.

                Daehyun didn’t know how to handle this unexpected situation. He took a glimpse of Yongguk when Youngjae pulled him into a hug. The older man only gave him a thin smile. Daehyun dropped his gaze for a moment. And then he released his hand from Yongguk’s grip to return the hug he received.

                They were currently sitting at the table, Daehyun and Youngjae were facing each other as well as their lovers beside them. Everyone was in tense silence after they had ordered their food. Even Yongguk and Himchan didn’t speak about anything although they hadn’t seen each other for a long time.

                Youngjae cleared his throat to break the silence. When Daehyun set his eyes on him, he chose to voice out his thought. “I’m…so glad that I found you…” He carved a sincere smile.

                Daehyun shuddered at the random goosebumps he had, his hand fumbled under the table in search for Yongguk’s. Once he found it, he intertwined their fingers together. “Wh-Why? Have you been looking for me?” He built the courage to ask.

                Youngjae nodded. “For the past few years, when your father was dying.”

                It was not a surprise for Daehyun. The news of his father’s death was spread over the media couple of years ago. He was of course shocked to know about it that day but that’s just it. He didn’t feel any guilt for leaving his home back then but he was indeed sad at the thought of his one and only father had gone form this world, he was sad when there’s nothing good between them to be reminisced.

                “There’s no need to find me…” He muttered with a straight face.

                Youngjae sighed. “Daehyun, you should know that your father really wanted to see you before he died. He was calling your name over and over during his last days. He wanted to apologize for what he had done to you.”

                Daehyun didn’t retort directly after that. “It might be that he just wanted his company’s successor back.”

                “No, Daehyun. He didn’t care about his company anymore. He had wanted to sell it since years ago but my father convinced him to run the company until you come back,” Youngjae returned.

                Daehyun casted his gaze down for a moment before looking up at Youngjae again. “So now I have to go back and take over the company?”

                Youngjae pursed his lips to think of the best answer to his cousin’s question. “You don’t have to if you don’t want it…but…your mother…” He dragged his speech as he turned to his lover for an approval. Himchan just gave him a slight nod.

                “He’s sick,” Youngjae frankly told Daehyun. “I’ve been taking care of him in Ilsan. He wants to see you for the same thing that your father wanted.”

                Daehyun tightened his grasp on Yongguk’s hand, causing his lover to place another hand above it. Hearing about his mother caused his heart to clench painfully. He was always wondering if the old man was doing alright after his husband died, if he was eating properly and taking care of himself. But now he knew his mother was sick and alone without his father, that he had moved to his hometown to be taken care of his nephew. He felt irresponsible as the only son because he’s the one who should be looking after his mother.

                But instead of listening to his rational thoughts, Daehyun shook his head. “I’m… I can’t… I’m not ready…”

                He was scared. For him, his parents were one of the things from his past that he had buried in his heart. He had left everything behind and vowed to himself to never look back. But years later, Yongguk had dug himself out of his past and here they were now. And then he suddenly met his cousin, Youngjae who asked him to see his mother after this. Everything went too fast for him ever since he reunited with Yongguk, everything from the past were coming back to him one by one. He needed some time to sort it out.

                Frustration etched all over Youngjae’s face. “It’s a liver cancer. He discovered it more than a year ago. He doesn’t have so much time anymore, Daehyun,” He tried to convince his cousin. “You don’t have to go back. Your mother will come here instead,”

                Daehyun frowned. “But isn’t he sick?”

                Youngjae shrugged. “He’ll do whatever it takes to beg for your forgiveness.”

                Daehyun turned to Yongguk, telling the man about his jumbled thoughts through his gaze, silently asking him about what he should do.

                Yongguk smiled reassuringly. “Just do whatever you want to,” He whispered.

                Daehyun slowly averted his eyes to Youngjae. “Could you give me some time to consider?”

                Youngjae thought it must be so hard for Daehyun to return to his bitter past. The fact that Daehyun wanted to consider it was good enough for him. He nodded with a smile. “Sure.”

###

                Yongguk took a quick look at his lover beside him as he drove on the road. Daehyun was quiet after the conversation he had with Youngjae. Even when they were having their lunch earlier, the only ones talking were him and Himchan. They were able to catch up with each other’s life while enjoying their meals. But he could notice that Daehyun’s mind was somewhere else. So he asked to leave as soon as their lunch finished. Himchan understood the situation, saying that he also got works to do later.

                “There’s another place I want to take you to,” He spoke up, causing Daehyun to stop staring out of the window and turned to him.

                “Where?” Daehyun asked.

                “You’ll know when we get there,” Yongguk grinned.

                Daehyun just snorted at that. "Don't you have to go back to work?"

                "I'm ditching it for today," Yongguk winked at the younger man.

                Daehyun just laughed at him while shaking his head. "You're terrible!"

                "But this is more important than anything else! Just wait until you get there," Yongguk convinced and Daehyun made a face at him as if he was giving an unreasonable reason just because he wanted to skip work.

                After a while driving and bickering about the same topic, Yongguk slowed down his car after making a turn and stopped by the guard post. Daehyun’s eyes immediately widened at the sight of the familiar buildings. It was his old school; their old school. Why did Yongguk bring him here?

                Yongguk lowered the window to explain something to the school guard and they gave him the visitor pass. He thanked the guy before resuming his drive until they arrived at the parking lots.

                Daehyun didn't quite hear what Yongguk had told the guard and wasn’t questioning his lover’s act either since Yongguk just remained silent. He took the chance to have a look at the surrounding. A lot had changed in the past fifteen years but the school still had the same air, making him recalled the times when he was still a student here.

                Yongguk jumped out of the car and Daehyun watched him in confusion. He rounded the car to open the passenger’s door. “Come.”

                Daehyun raised his eyebrows. “We’re going in?”

                Yongguk nodded with a smile. He held his hand out and Daehyun took it as he got out of the car. They walked with their hands clasped together, going into the well known building when they were a student here. There were some students in the hallway, maybe going home or on the way to their afternoon class. They sent a weird look at both of them but Yongguk was nonchalant about it.

                Daehyun chose to copy Yongguk’s act because they were doing nothing wrong in there. Every step he took, he got more and more nostalgic about the old days. He knew every turns and every corners, every stairs and every places. But of course today, Yongguk brought him towards this stairs that led them to their shared secret place.

                The door was fortunately unlocked. The wind rushed towards them as soon as it was opened, bringing together all the memories he had at his favourite place a long time ago. He was unknowingly smiling, not crying at the thought of those reminiscences. And when he looked up at the man he loved next to him, he too was wearing the same content smile.

                Yongguk pulled Daehyun’s hand again. They went to their once claimed spots against the wall. However, it was repainted white, erasing everything that was scribbled on the wall. He was extremely frustrated because of that.

                “There’s no longer your name here,” He sighed, crouching down to run his fingers over the place where Daehyun’s name should be written.

                Daehyun smiled. “It’s not my spot anymore,” He joked.

                Yongguk chuckled as he plopped down on the cement floor, his back leaning against the wall. He looked up at his younger lover and stretched out his hand. When Daehyun gladly took it, he pulled him to have a seat in between his legs.

                Everything felt the same as it was fifteen years ago. They would be sitting like this on the rooftop, in each other’s embrace as they watched the sunset. Today, they reverted themselves back to their teenage age, when they still could see each other, when they were so in love with one another. Though there were hours to go before the sun set, both of them were certain they could stay like that for that amount of time or even longer.

                Yongguk locked his hands across Daehyun’s belly as he rested his chin on top of Daehyun’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” He murmured.

                “For what?” Daehyun placed his hands over Yongguk’s.

                “For making you run into your cousin?”

                Daehyun laughed lightly. “It’s not like you know who your friend’s lover would turn out to be.”

                “But still…” Yongguk whined.

                Daehyun thought it was cute but he didn’t want his lover to keep blaming himself. So he turned his head slightly to peck Yongguk’s cheek. Yongguk beamed, squeezing the smaller man in his hug before kissing his cheek back.

                Daehyun giggled at Yongguk’s ticklish touch. After settling back into their initial positions, he released a long sigh while gazing up at the bright sky. “I missed the old times, my friends, my family…” He began to admit. “I missed my mother…”

                Yongguk hummed, showing that he’s listening. He too looked up at the white clouds floating above them. “Say, if you could go back in time, would you stay with your parents and still be with me?”

                It was quiet for a moment before Daehyun finally spoke up. “I won’t change anything. The past taught me a lot of things. It showed me the people who truly loved me, the ones who would stay by my side… Because of the past, I have Junhong now. Because of the past, there’re us in the present. Both of you and Junhong are my source of happiness.”

                Yongguk’s gaze shifted to Daehyun. The younger man was smiling so brightly and it was because of him. He felt the gush of the same overwhelming happiness Daehyun was having throughout his body. He wished that smile wouldn’t leave Daehyun’s face forever.

                Thinking that it was the perfect time, he stealthily took out a note from his pocket behind Daehyun’s back before writing something on it. It seemed that Daehyun was totally immersed in his own world when he didn’t realize even a tiny bit what the other man was doing out of his sight.

                Feeling a pat on his arm, Daehyun quickly turned around. His brows furrowed looking at Yongguk who had a note stuck on his forehead. The silly looking man was grinning so broadly as he pointed to the note. Daehyun read the note and it said ‘Marry me’.

                “Will you, Jung Daehyun?” Yongguk asked.

                Daehyun broke into a radiant smile, tears welling up in his eyes. He shook his head in amusement before snatching the pen from Yongguk’s hold as well at the sticky note. He scribbled on the other side of the small paper and showed it to the latter. He wrote ‘Yes’.

                “I will, Bang Yongguk.”

###

You don’t have to cry

Don’t cry and lift your face up and laugh

I will make you smile

I will give you happiness on beside you forever

Don’t be afraid everything will be alright

In the waiting you cry and i know you cry

I will give to you now your love

Song : Proposal by Noel

A/N :

So there are about 6(?) chapters left. I hope I can update as much as possible before new sem starts

Thanks to upvoters, subscribers, readers and comments! ♥♥♥