No One's POV

You woke up in the middle of the night with a racing heart. What is happening?! You were seeking for air although your breathing went crazy as well. Your vision got blurry as you held onto your blanket searching for hold.

The room was full of fresh air but it felt like you were drowning in an ocean. Your environment didn't look familiar anymore and it seemed like your furniture was spinning around you. Your hands started to tingle, you felt nauseous as if you had eaten something bad. You forced yourself to not close your eyes anxious about never being able to open them no more. It felt as if you were going to die, as if you'd never be able to get up again when you'd fall off your bed. Your whole body was in a state of fear while you tightened your grip on the blanket.

„Mom“, you tried to shout but you couldn't catch a breath. You wanted wake her up but you knew you would fall onto your knees if you'd stand up now.

„Mom!“, you shouted anew. This time louder, though you felt dizzy and weak. „Mom, I need help“, you cawed but you couldn’t even understand yourself.

Your chest felt tight and your whole body started to shiver. What is this? Isn't there someone to help me, I don't want to die. Please, I can't breathe.

At this moment, the door of your bedroom burst open and someone rushed up to you.

You looked up at that person to realize it was Jimin so you intuitively reached out for his shirt to get the illusion you weren't alone anymore.

„Hey~, calm down“ Jimin first talked to you in a quiet voice as he embraced you in his arms. „Everything is gonna be alright,  just breathe“ He continued as he softly pushed you away from him and glanced into your eyes. His eyes were filled with worry, nothing of the pain and hatred that you were used to see was there. It immediately made you feel safe.

Jimin knelt down on your bed and reached out for your hands. „Now look at me and concentrate on your breathing.“ He led your hands up to his chest and placed them on the spot where his heart is located so you could feel his pulse. „Breathe in“, he continued while slowly taking a deep breath himself, „and now breathe out“

You tried to concentrate while he was leading you with deep yet slow breaths. His heartbeat was moderate and steady which calmed you down a little.

„It's alright, nothing is wrong with you, I promise. It'll get better soon enough, just keep concentrating on your breathing“ Jimin said calmly as he swung his arms around you one more time.

You closed your eyes as you let yourself sink into his strong arms that were safely wrapped around you. Your breath slowly went back to normal and the tears you hadn't realized were rolling down your cheeks vanished. Though you had no idea what just had happened, you were glad Jimin was there.

However, something in his voice told you that he wasn't lying to you just to make you feel better. He was serious about what he told you and really meant it that way.

Along with his heartbeat, the pace of your own heart slowed down as the symptoms slowly faded and your awareness came back.

As you felt strong enough again, you pushed yourself back from Jimin and lowered your head. „Thank you“, you murmured quietly.

„No need to thank me“, he answered and turned to get into a more comfortable position next to you. „Are you alright now?”, he asked and you could feel his eyes piercing onto your face although you didn't look back at him.

You just nodded in return since you still was in shock about what had happened.

„What was that?“, you asked quietly almost like a whisper.

But Jimin just chuckled in reply causing you to look up at him in confusion.

„That was a panic attack“ He looked over at you and gave you a weak smile. „It really but it's nothing that serious. Well, at least not physical.“

„What do you mean?“

„Panic attacks come along with anxiety. Doctors usually say that it is caused due to a stressful situation you couldn't handle or couldn't find a solution for. You get anxious and worried and develop these symptoms you've had. So the next time you get into this situation, your thoughts get back to your former reactions, feelings and symptoms and boom, there it is again. So you perhaps even start to avoid these kind of situations but by doing this it only gets worse. You get panic attacks over and over again and your anxiety level keeps rising up and mentally it brings you down completely to the point you can't handle it anymore and do everything to forget these feelings and thoughts.” Jimin paused and glanced over at you. “But it's not like you always need a trigger for a panic attack. You also can get them randomly in everyday situations without having anything that made you anxious.”

“But why did I get it during my sleep? I woke up by this, it's not like I was awake the whole night”

“Sadly, it's also possible to wake up in the middle of the night with a panic attack creeping up. Normally, you deal with the things that has happened to you during the day in your dreams. So if something has happened that stressed you out a lot, it is indeed possible to wake up with a panic attack.“ Jimin leaned back at the wall and stared straight ahead.

„But to get back to your actual question...“, he paused and looked back at you, „Physically, it's not dangerous. So whatever your mind tells you, you won't get insane, you won't pass out or die. These physical symptoms are either reactions to your thoughts or just show up and cause these negative thoughts. But either way, they aren't a sign for a heart attack or something like that, they sadly just are a part of panic or anxiety attacks but they are not dangerous and they'll luckily fade when you finally are able to calm down again. Your mind, on the other side, is the bigger problem here. It literally drives you crazy and perhaps causes panic attacks to come back since you start getting afraid of them. It a lot, but there's nothing wrong with your body. Only your mind could need a break then“ He laughed a little at this though you couldn't understand why. There isn't anything funny about it, how is he still able to laugh?

„How do you even know all of this?“ You hesitated to ask that since you were afraid of the answer but wanted to know it.

Jimin sincerely looked into your eyes and smiled as he replied. „I'm used to this. I've had loads of these“

„I-I'm sorry“ You lowered your head „I didn't know that. That must be really awful“ You felt your eyes tear up again but you forced yourself to stay strong. You couldn't let him see you weak again.

„Of course you didn't, I never told you“ Jimin gave you this weak smile again.

How was he still able to smile?

You stared at him for a while, capturing this moment, since he still didn't smile that often. At this moment you promised yourself to do everything just so he would never lose this expression. It was way too precious.

„Jimin?“, you called out his name all of a sudden without looking away from him.

„Hm?“

„Why did I get this...panic attack? I don't-“, you started but didn't know how to finish that sentence so you just waited for his answer.

But Jimin just let out a big sigh and looked away from you. „Since I can't read your mind I don't know what you're thinking or feeling“, he paused „but you definitely were stressed out and I probably am the creator of this mess“

„What? Why should you be the reason for that?“ You stared at him in disbelief because of what he just said.

Why would I get a panic attack because of him? Does that even make sense?

„Because your life was different before I destroyed it.”

“You didn't-”

“I did.” He looked back at you and this time his eyes were serious. His precious smile was gone.

“And your attack was the prove for that.”

“Jimin, stop saying such nonsense”

“It's the truth, don't try to play it down. You're stressed out because you want to help me and you fear that you'll fail or that I won't make it and probably also that I'll hurt you again an-”

“Jimin!”, you almost shouted but you just wanted him to stop. He shouldn't talk like that about himself.

“Stop this”, you added with a more quiet voice.

“But it's the truth. What else should be the reason for that?” He glanced at you with cold eyes.

“I don't know why that happened..but I don't think you're the reason for that”, you answered calmly wondering whether you could believe yourself or not.

What if it really was because of him? In some points he's right though. I'm really worried about him and think about him a lot and whether I'm able to help him out of this hell. But is that enough for a panic attack? ...But like he said, what else should be the reason?

You lowered your head since you didn't know what else to say. Even if he was right, you didn't want him to think that negative about himself. You didn't want him to think of himself as the cause for this. It just brought him down even more.

Jimin sighed again causing yourself to feel even worse.

“Do you still remember my reaction when you came back with Jungkook?”

You looked up at him with a confused expression on your face.

“You barely talked to me after that and for me, it seemed like you were tired or sick of it. Of using all of your strength to find a way to help me out while I still make it even harder for you. That is why I am like this right now” He focused the wall in front of him.

“I'm trying my best to make it easier for you, to be less of a burden, because I don't want you to end like this.”

“But I wanted to help you, it was my decision.”, you finally said.

“I know, but that doesn't mean I want you to fall apart”

“It's not your fault” You reached out for his hand to grab it as you noticed a tiny tear rolling down his cheek.

This single tear caused your heart to crack a little. It hurt so bad to see him cry. You just wanted to hold him, embrace him and tell him that everything is going to be okay, that you are going to be okay and that he won't have to feel like this anymore. But instead, you just sat there staring at this tiny tear that told so many stories of pain, exhaustion and sorrow.

But after a while, as if you were hypnotized, you reached out for his face and wiped it away. You had to make the suffering of his past go away.

Jimin slowly looked up at you in shock but you still could see the agony he was in.

“Stop crying. I don't want you to feel responsible for all of this”, you said quietly before embracing him once again. “It is not your fault”

For the next few moments, the both of you just sat there in each others arms longing for love and hold. It was peaceful to just sit in this position, completely silent. The only noises that could be heard were the breaths and heartbeats of two human beings. Nothing bad or good did matter at that moment. Neither the past, nor the future. The present was the only thing that mattered.

But although you never wanted this moment to end, Jimin slowly separated himself from you. You opened up your eyes and stared into his with a warm smile on your face. Due to this, Jimin had no other choice but to smile as well as you could feel the gratefulness coming from him.

“But”, he started and you could see that neither he didn't want to break this moment, “to come back to Jungkook”

But you interrupted him before he could even finish his sentence. “Jimin, we don't have to talk about this if you don’t want to.” You sat back again on the opposite side of the bed so you could stare into his eyes directly.

“I want to” He looked up at you and pierced his eyes into yours.

Therefore, you just sighed and nodded to let him continue. If he wanted to talk about this himself, you had to let him.

“When I saw you together with him and you were exchanging numbers and all that kind of stuff, it somehow got me mad” Jimin looked up at you with a glimpse of pain in his expression.

You immediately felt your chest tighten seeing this. Did it really hurt him that much?

“I don't want him or them to be near you”, he murmured quietly but still managed to emphasize the word 'them'.

“Why not?”

“Because they could be dangerous for you, if they, or at least Namjoon-hyung, would find out about the two of us”

Jimin spoke slowly and his voice was dark, a sign that he definitely meant what he was saying.

“After all that happened between me and them, he really seems to hate me. And I don't want you to get involved in this. I don’t want them to hate on you as well.”

“But Jungkook seems different”, you silently threw in hoping that it wouldn't bring anything bad with it.

“I wouldn't rely on that”, he simply answered still looking into your eyes.

“He had told me once that he doesn't even like how Namjoon and the others act when you're around. He said that they usually aren't like this”

Jimin narrowed his eyes in reply. “When did he tell you this?”

You sighed quietly in return but since you've already spilled it out, you had to tell him the whole truth. Although you feared that it would get even worse with that. “It was after I met them for the first time. You probably still remember how they somehow threatened me until you and Hana showed up.”

He simply nodded in return.

“Well, after you had left as well, Hana wanted to know what was going on between the two of us but you since didn't want me to talk to anyone about it, I didn't do it and I lied at her. As you probably can tell, she had been really hurt due to that and we somehow got into an argument. And after that I just broke down in tears, I still don't even know why. But then Jungkook showed up out of nowhere and asked if I was alright and then he told me that” You looked up into his eyes which started to fill up with hatred again. Why did he hate Jungkook that much? You couldn’t believe that Jungkook could’ve done something that bad that could make him mad. After all, he was the one that wanted Namjoon to stop and leave. He was the only one, or at least it seemed like he was, that didn’t like Namjoon’s behavior. But why would he still be friends with him then?

“But I don't know...he seemed different to me at least but of course, I don't know him that well and I also don’t know what they have done to you”, you continued carefully trying to calm him down a little with your choice of words.

“He lie-”, Jimin started but couldn't end his sentence. He just stared onto the bed sheet, his eyes narrowed as he lowered his head.

You looked up at him in confusion. Why doesn't he finish his sentence? At that moment, he seemed like he had remembered or realized something so you just waited for another reaction of him.

“Jimin?” You carefully called out his name trying not to push him too hard.

“I just” His eyebrows met as he stopped talking “I remembered a scene where I had met him. I accidentally bumped into him while I was searching for a place to stay and since he then shouted at me, I grabbed his collar and yelled back until I realized it was him. But it didn't get any further since he begged me to let him go”

You just stared at him and tried to understand what he was saying. He begged him to let him go? Was he afraid of him?

“I could see the fear in his eyes after I asked him if he wanted to have blood streaming down his face again” He added and lowered his head.

“You...what?” You couldn't believe what he just said. You didn't even want to imagine that scene, it made your heart cringe.

“I once had beaten him up until he was unconscious and completely covered in his own blood. I don't even know why I had done that, he-” His voice started to break so you immediately reached out for his hands to make him feel safe. He was so broken on the inside, he kept on falling apart.

“You are right.” Huh? What’s with this sudden change? “He isn't like Namjoon-hyung. As I was holding him in my grip, I just couldn't hurt him again. He was afraid of me because of what I had done to him and I sincerely regretted it....But he never hated me. He never hated me for anything. I don't know, I could've killed them all or something and he still wouldn't hate me. I just don't know-” He balled his hand into a fist while you were still holding on to it. You didn't know whether it was good for you that he was completely tensed up by now, but something in your head told you that you couldn't let him go that easily now. Although you started to feel your heartbeat increase. He still could be dangerous but you had to be the strong one when he wasn't able to.

“It's okay” You spoke in a soft voice and caressed his hand with your thumb. “I understand why you're confused. I guess he has a bigger heart than the others have and something in him had an affection on you”

“I want to hate him but I can't”, he suddenly burst out.

“Why do you want to hate him?”

“Because he's with them, in their damn group! And he's driving me insane. How can he not hate me after all I have done to him? He's making me regret everything and it's making me mad. I don't want to feel all of this” Jimin raised his voice in desperation and looked up at you. His eyes were once again tearing up.

“Not everyone is the same and not everyone is able to hate as easily as others. And I think he noticed that you're not yourself anymore. He can't hate you while knowing that you're silently suffering” You looked back at him wiping another tear away. Only with letting him know that there was someone who cared, you were able to put together the broken pieces of his heart.

“Why?” He looked at you with even more tears streaming down his face. “Why am I like this?” The expression on his face was pitiful. It was even hard for you to keep looking into his eyes without tearing up yourself. Seeing him like this hurt more than you ever imagined.

So you really had to overcome yourself im order to spent him a weak smile.

“Because your past has teared you apart and took the feeling of love with it. You had felt like you had no other choice than becoming like this since that was what your father had taught you, but you do have a choice. And I know that you have the will to choose something different now and remember, I am going to help you to get back into the right direction, whatever is going to happen.”

“I just can't hate them, I never could.” Jimin answered after a short pause. “Though I always wanted to because of how they had treated me. But it is my fault that they behave like this. It was me who had changed and caused us to fight”

“I assume that they have changed as well. It's not your fault” You looked up at him and smiled weak.

“We had been best friends and I somehow want that back.” He muttered lowering his head. “But Namjoon-hyung is an ”

You couldn't help but chuckle a little at this last part. He's right though. But you still could understand him. He wanted his life back and it seemed like they used to get along pretty well back then. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have been best friends.

“He's going to be your biggest problem when it comes to them, I think. Jungkook or the others shouldn't be that hard to convince.”

“Convince? Of what?” Jimin looked at you in confusion.

“If you want to have it back, we'll get it back for you. But this will take time and eventually you'll grow together once again. If not, then it shall not be. It's that easy and that hard” You smiled at him and wrapped his arms around him once again to let him know you were there for him.

“Thank you”, he muttered quietly.

You didn’t say anything else and just started to carefully caress his back while he slowly calmed down again.

After a while, he softly pushed you back from him and stared down at the bed sheets. “You must be really tired”, he said quietly but you just chuckled in return.

“Not that much”

He lifted his head to look up at you and even tried to smile himself but completely failed. “But you need some sleep”, he continued while slowly getting up.

“Where are you going?”

“Downstairs” He looked back at you “I want you to get some rest”

“I don't want you to go”, you whispered without ever losing eye contact.

You held out your hand showing him you wanted him to be near you. He hesitated at first until he sat back onto the bed. “But I want you to get some sleep” He looked at you and you could tell that he was confused. You gave him a warm smile in return since his behaviour made your chest area feel warm.

“I will sleep but I want you to stay here. My bed is big enough” You couldn’t help but laugh a little as you mouthed these last words.

“A-Are you serious?” His eyes widened.

Did he really just stutter? That was the second time you actually heard him stutter. It was so cute you wanted to embrace him again and never let him go. At this moment, you were glad that you had spoken up to him as he harassed this innocent girl back then, although you had never even imagined that this could happen someday.

“I'm absolutely serious” You gave him a warm smile to support what you just have said.

But he just lowered his head in return.

“What's wrong?” You said with a calm voice.

“The only time I slept in the same bed as someone else was when my mother still lived”, Jimin answered quietly.

“I'm sorry, I-”

“No, it's okay” He looked up at you again and smiled weak. “I barely even remember it. But there was one time I was lying between my mom and dad and both of them cuddled closer to me or else I wouldn't fall asleep. I was pretty little back then” His smile grew a little bigger and you were wondering how he managed that. How can he speak about that while smiling that much?Doesn’t it hurt like hell?

“You remember me of her.” He suddenly said which caused your eyes to widen.

What?

Jimin stared into your eyes and you could see the sadness he was drowning in.

“From the first time I saw you, my thoughts always went back to her. You both

are so alike”

You had no idea what to answer at that moment. You didn't know what was right to say, you didn't want to hurt him even more in that kind of situation.

“And although it hurts, it kinda makes me happy. In the beginning, it was hard for me to admit and get along with but it somehow feels like it's softening the anger I'm feeling. I don't even know why or how that's possible but it somehow gives me a reason to smile, knowing that there is someone near me who makes me think she is still alive. But that doesn’t mean I think of you as my mother” He laughed quietly and then added: “I am glad that I met you”

Although Jimin was looking on the ground as he said this you still noticed that his cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

You stared at him and felt relieved by his words. Thank god it didn’t make everything worse.

“I'm also glad that I met you”, you watched his reaction with a warm smile on your face while he weakly smiled himself. By now you were sure that you would do everything for him. You couldn’t just let him go anymore, you wanted him to stay by your side and it didn’t matter to you what hardships it would bring.

“It was a rough day and besides, it's almost morning again, we should get some sleep now” You laughed a little at the fact that you've been talking for hours. Jimin simply nodded in return.

So the both of you lain down next to each other and you inconspicuously turned over so you would be able to face him.

Jimin still had this weak smile on his face as he slowly closed his eyes. You could've watched him for hours as you remembered something.

“Jimin?”

Since you knew that he wasn't sleeping yet you silently called out his name and asked how he had known that you needed help while you had this panic attack.

He slowly opened his eyes and looked back at you. “I couldn't sleep and heard noises coming from your room.  As I heard you scream for help, I rushed up to you“ he gave you a light smile that warmed up your heart.

You couldn't say anything else, you just smiled back at him in satisfaction. This had been all you wanted to hear.

Therefore you simply closed your eyes waiting for your body to slowly fall asleep.

Just like I’m trying my best to help him, he does for me.

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A/N: Oh my gosh, I have managed to finish this giant chapter. It literally took me six days to write and five/six days to edit... well this is with 4544 words the longest chapter I have ever written...If I would've splitted it into normal sized chapters, it would have been 4 lol But well I couldn't just split this. Besides, I hope you could understand the nonsense I have written since my stuff seems to be incoherent hehee^^' But I can't get it better urghh Anyways, I hope the wait was worth it and you like it lol Please don't be a silent reader and leave a quick comment ^-^ otherwise, I'be be happy about subscribing and upvoting as well hehee love y'all and see ya in the next chapter byeee ❤❤❤❤