Jimin's POV

. Was it really the right decision? Leaving her unknowingly?
I wasn't sure at all. But otherwise, I couldn't think of anything better.

I looked back at the direction of which I just came from.

Was she already at home?

Taking out my mobile, I checked the time. 4:38pm. She probably was.

I sighed while walking down the street.

Where should I sleep now? , I totally screwed it up. Again! I had finally found a place to stay. Where nobody was trying to abuse me. I was able to find some peace with myself. And I had found someone who was able to look through my facade, who was able to like me. She did like me, didn't she? I shouldn't be so sure about that.

My chest tightened again. What was that? It hurt but I didn't know why. It was an unbearable pain I've only felt once before.
Not like the cuts, wounds and bruises I was used to.

At this moment I wished my father would've beaten me up earlier that day. At this case, I would've at least know why I was in pain, although I wouldn't consider it 'pain' anymore.

Was I making it up? Was I already going insane and even felt things that weren't actually there?

I was defnitely going crazy.

And I was an idiot.

Gosh, why was I like this? Was I really that ed up to hurt the only person that was somehow important to me?

I didn't even want to know how she felt at that moment. She must've hated me completely now.

I was a cipher. I always screwed everything up. No wonder nobody has ever liked me. I didn't even like myself. No. I hated myself. I hated every little inch of myself, more than everything else.
I wasn't good in anything, I was a loser. And an . The worst person one could ever meet.
I was just like my father, although I never wanted to admit that. But it was right. And I even got the feeling that he was the 'good one' of the two of us.
Everyone hated me and I had nothing better to do than let my anger go and scare or hurt others so they'd hate me even more.

I sighed again.

What have I done to deserve this life? Everything was fine back then. I was a completely different person.
Why? I just didn't get it and I got tired of it. I got tired of this life, my life and especially of myself.

_______ was the only person who wanted to help me. I had needed it, I even wanted her to do it, but it was hopeless. Nobody would ever be able to lighten up the darkness inside of me.

Would she search after me? She probably already noticed that I wasn't there anymore. Hopefully, she'd just leave it like that. I didn't want to see her no more. No, that wasn't true. I actually did want to see her, but that wasn't the case. It would be better if I'd just disappear. Completely.
She was way too innocent, she had a perfect life, I've already messed it up. I couldn't let myself take the rest of her own little world. This just wasnt right. She didn't deserve this.

I needed to deal with it myself. But how?

I sat down on a bench of which I knew that barely anyone would come to. Closing my eyes, I let the sun shine onto my skin before I took out my mobile once again. 5:13pm.

Three missed calls flashed on the display of my mobile. ________.

Deep down, I had known she wouldn't let go. But why did I feel relieved? Somethng pretty strange was going on with me...

_______ was probably already running through the whole city like a mad woman.

, I needed to leave. I didn't want her to find me. I couldn't let her find me. It would just get even worse. Could I even look into her eyes ever again? Damn, I was going insane.

So I'd decided to quickly click on my contact list to find her name, which didn't take that long since I barely had any contacts. Seeing her name on the display, I was about to press the 'block contact' button so that she wouldn't be able to call or text me again. But I couldn't. Something stopped me from pressing that damn button.

Why couldn't I just click on it?! Gosh, what was wrong with me?

After a short while, I noticed a text message coming in. It was, of course, from her. I hesitated to open it but did it anyways.

'Where are you? Please answer me', it read.

.

That brought me back to reality and I imediately clicked on that freaking 'block contact' button. I couldn't let this happen.

I had probably hurt her even more with this.

With quick motions, I grabbed my stuff and left this place. I had to get as far away as possible.

But where should I go to? I didn't have any place to stay, neither had I enough money to sleep in a hotel or something else. The only money I had should I use to buy some food.

So I decided to buy something and then leave. I walked up to the nearest supermarket.

With slow motions, I entered this giant building in front of me. I didn't have much money so I needed to be careful what to buy.

It wasn't easy anymore. While staying at her place, I was allowed to eat everything I wanted, she wanted me to feel 'at home'.

I have been such an idiot, I still was.

I slowly walked through the aisles of the store staring at the many different things.

Gosh, why was everything so expensive? I barely could buy anything.

After a longer period of time, I had decided to just buy some fruits and cheap snacks which were handy enough for me to carry around. I couldn't afford something bigger. Looked like I had to starve now.

Walking up to the cash point, I spotted my father. Paying for alcohol. Of course.

In an instant, I felt the anger rising up in my body.

, I couldn't let this happen. Not in a ing grocery store.

So I willingly allowed a young lady to go ahead. I couldn't stand right behind him.

Luckily, the woman had bought enough stuff so that he already was out of sight when it was my turn. Though that was the first and only time I let someone go ahead when this person had thousands of things to pay for.

Trying to calm the down and not thinking of my horrible past, I paid for my stuff.

I really had to keep my together to be as nice as possible to this innocent shop assistant but it was pretty hard with those damn pictures in my head.

Taking some deep breaths, I left the store hoping he has vanished into dust. But of course, I was wrong.

Instead, as soon as I set foot on the ground outside the grocery store, his eyes were locked with mine while he peacefully sipped his beer.

'Peacefully' definitely wasn't the right word to describe him.
He might have seemed peaceful at that moment. But it was all fake. He was fake. On the inside, he was like a seething volcano.

Trying my best to ignore him, I made my way past him as he called my name.

"Jimin"

His voice was as cold as liquid nitrogen.

I hated it when he called my name.

Turning around, I stared into the emptyness of his deep brown eyes. He probably hated me just as much as I hated him.

I didn't answer which probably was the best thing to do. I definitely wasn't in the mood for this. But he never cared about this anyway.
Seemed like he always loved to torture me.

"What have you done to end up at the police station? You know what could've happened to me if they would've had found out what I've done", he said coldly.

I scoffed in return. "It doesn't matter what I've done and...why should I care what could've happened to you? I didn't want you there, believe me"

With that I ended our 'lovingly' conversation and started to walk away. I had to get away or else something pretty bad would've happened.

"I'm not done with you, son"

Son?!

I abruptly stopped and turned around to face him.

. Stop it.

I couldn't let him control me and my thoughts, I needed to stay calm.

"Son?! I am not your son anymore"

I walked up to him with fast steps until I was just inches away from him. "You're not my father either", I blurted out with gritted teeth.

But he just laughed in return.

.

I felt the adrenalin running through my veins as I clenched my fists.

No. Don't. Please.

"I'll always be your father. Accept that. You can't change this painful fact. Besides...if you didn't already notice, we're so alike in some points"

He took another mouthful of his beer and stared into my eyes grinning like freaking satan.

I narrowed my eyes watching him. He pissed me off, I really had a hard time controlling myself.

I needed to stay away but I couldn't move. The only thing I could do was watch him slowly killing me even more but I couldn't change a single thing. He was making me mad, I was literally going insane because of him but I couldn't let it out. Not at this place.

I was a monster. He was right. I was like him. it.
I didn't want to admit that, but when even he thought so...

I had to leave. Immediately.

So I gathered all my strength and muttered a " you" before leaving him there, at the grocery store, laughing like a mad man.

_____________________________________

A/N:

Next update :D It's getting better again with the updates! YAAY! I know...drama, drama and more drama...but I love it :D and I know you guys love it too *wiggles eyebrows* I hope you liked this one and I'll try my best to keep updating although school starts again tomorrow! Don't forget to subscribe, leave a comment and upvote if you liked it ♥ Love y'all! See ya in the next chap! Bye ♥ PS: almost reached 500 subscribers on this story *-* only 10 left ♥ Thanks guys T.T ♥