Kyungsoo yanked me into his apartment as he pressed the door shut.

"Do you have the goods?" He whispered, flicking his eyes back and forth.

"Do Kyungsoo.  We are in your apartment not in alley in the shady part of town."

Kyungsoo gave me a dead look as his hands snatched the plastic bag from me.  He opened the top and peered into the bag.  "You're my favorite person in the entire world."

"I know.  Go get spoons."  I ordered him as I took the ice cream back.  I plopped onto his couch and peeled the lid off of the container.  Three thick stripes of creamy, pastel ice cream in different flavors tempted me to dig in.  Kyungsoo emerged from the kitchen with two giant spoons.

He handed me a spoon and took the container, scooping out a giant chuck of the pink section.  He flung the spoon into his mouth and closed his eyes, savoring the strawberry.

"Soo.  Speak."  Kyungsoo needed to talk things out, I could tell.  It was my best friend sixth sense.

He dug his spoon deeper into the strawberry portion, and his eyebrows scrunched together.  "I really like him and he's never gonna speak to me again."

"Don't be stupid.  Forget what I said earlier.  You should ask this guy out.  If you don't.... If you just keep your feelings on the inside, it's gonna hurt.  You'll see him around with someone else, and what if's will consume you.  Let it play out."

"Who was he?" Kyungsoo asked.  Kyungsoo and I had never talked about this before, at least not in depth.

I took the ice cream.  I stared at it while biting my lip, "My best friend.  We had a moment, and I didn't tell him how I felt until it was far too late.  In fact, he's probably married to his boyfriend by now."

Kyungsoo was about to say something when there was a knock at the door.  "I'll get it." Kyungsoo muttered.

I could see his door, but it was partially blocked by the wall.  Kyungsoo opened the door, and I heard a voice that hadn't graced my ears in a while.  

"Oh, this is where you live." Kim Jongin's voice cut through the air like a knife.  I whipped to look at Kai standing in front of Kyungsoo.  I hit the floor faster than the speed of light.  I made a sound, a rather loud sound.  Kyungsoo and Kai probably noticed.  I was in an uncomfortable position as I eavesdropped on my best friend's conversation with the guy I'd seen on top of the man I was still in love with.

Kyungsoo sputtered and I realized that he was in love with Kai.  Kyungsoo was into Kai.  Kai was the person he was describing to me.  "W-wh-what are you doing here?" Kyungsoo managed to squeak out.

"Um, I was looking for a friend from high school..." Oh my god was Kai referring to me? Why was he looking for me?  "But I'm glad I found you.  I wanted to apologize about Lady.  She never does that...."

"Kai!"

My heart stopped.  For a moment, I forgot where I was, and I was in high school again.  That voice was the soundtrack of my childhood and my dreams.  I was laying on the floor staring through the dusty space beneath Kyungsoo's couch at the door.  I could see three pairs of feet.  I was so close to him but so far.

"Chanyeol."  Kai gasped.

"Did you... Who's this?" Chanyeol asked.  I could picture his face as if I'd seen him six seconds ago not six years ago.

"This is..." Kai trailed off.

"Kyungsoo.  Do Kyungsoo." Soo filled in for Kai.  It was bizarre listening to my past mingle with my present.

"He's Lady's victim." Kai's voice was drench with shame.

"Oh... Well, we're looking for someone, so if he's not here..." Chanyeol inserted.

"Oh, who are you looking for?" Kyungsoo asked.

"We're looking for my best friend." Chanyeol said, his voice was mixed with something I didn't recognize.  I'd never heard it in his voice before.  I dropped trying to figure whatever it was as I realized that he still considered me his friend.  It burned slightly at the edges of my still cracked heart.

"Does he have a name?  I've met a few people on the floor..."  Kyungsoo was trying to be helpful.

"Byun Baekhyun."  Chanyeol promptly answered. Oh no, Kyungsoo was going to say something.

"Baek!" Kyungsoo yelled into the apartment.  Towards me, me the person who was laying on the floor between his coffee table and couch.

Oh my god no no no no no.  "Hm?" I made a noise on the floor as my covered my face with my hands.

"There's someone at the door for you?" Kyungsoo walked back into the living and looked down at me on the floor.

"Oh?" I slowly sat up.  Smoothing the hairs that had been misplaced by my hasty dropping to the floor.  I trailed Kyungsoo to the door, and I was face to face with people I'd left in the past.  People that I had never quite forgotten despite my best efforts.

I briefly contemplated the amnesia course of action.  Which was stupid no matter how I looked at it.  I stood there staring at them while they stared at me.  Kyungsoo was confused beyond comprehension, there was no way on earth that he could connect the dots.

"Hi." The word tumbled past my lips.  It was the first word I'd said to either of them in years.  I had imagined this conversation several times before.  Chanyeol and Kai were still together obviously.  Chanyeol probably wanted to bandage the wound, to know if the bridge had been entirely burned.

Chanyeol looked like he wanted to say something.  His lips parted, ready to spit out whatever words came from his mind.  Kai glanced back at Chanyeol's struggle and sighed.

Kai hugged me.  Oh god, it was awkward.  I mean the last time I saw Kai, he was shirtless and making out with Chanyeol.  Kai and I did not hug.  Not once while Kai and Chanyeol dated had I hugged Kai.

I could see the look of pure befuddlement on Kyungsoo's face.  Kai squeezed and said, "It's so great to see you."

He released me, and I saw Kyungsoo's face.  I couldn't have this conversation in front of him.  It was going to be awkward and painful, and I would probably be needing some of that ice cream.

"If you guys want to talk, we can catch up later."

Chanyeol said his first words to me in six years, "Let's catch up now."  He grabbed my wrist and yanked me out of Kyungsoo's apartment.  I was too stunned to say anything, and I numbly followed Chanyeol as he pressed the button for the elevator.  Apparently Kai was not going to part take in the catching up talk.

We rode the elevator down in silence, and he pulled me outside of the building. We were standing in the park, at night with snow falling.  Neither one of us were wearing reasonable attire.

We stood under a street light, facing each other without exchanging words.  My arms automatically wrapped around themselves in an attempt to keep me warm.

"Well, this has been fun, but I'm going back inside now." I stated, with a lot more ice in my voice than I intended.  I turned to walk away.

"Don't." He called out.  I froze in place.

I spun around, "What is my motivation to stay out here with you, Chanyeol?  It's freezing, the snow is making my hair wet.  I'm going to get sick and so are you.  How on earth is going outside without a jacket a good idea?  Who even catches up while they're outside during the winter?!"

Chanyeol took a deep breath and seemed to search for words, "How are you?"

How was I?  I didn't know what he meant.  Did he want to know if I was stuck in the past?  A past where he didn't love me. Yes, I was still in love with him, but Baekbeom's words rung in my head right now.  I had to get over it.  I would not relapse, I'd spent years burying my feelings for him.  I was not going to fall, take a hit of that drug, just because he appeared in front of me.

"Over it." I told him something I'd been telling myself for years.  I lied, I felt like it wasn't convincing, but I walked away before I said anything else.  Before I hesitated and caved, crying and begging him to leave Kai so that he could be with me.

I walked back into the building towards Kyungsoo's apartment.  I walked in without knocking, luckily Kai wasn't there.  At some point, I'd have to tell Kyungsoo that Kai was entirely unavailable, but right then, I needed some good emotional release.

I brushed past a questioning Kyungsoo and locked myself in his bathroom.

I cried.

I wasn't over it.

So many years later, and I still didn't know how to get over it.

a/n: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

okay, but come on you didn't think it was going to be that easy...  drop a comment or something...

I love you all.