Feel free to listen to the song

Kim Mae Ri

It’s been a few weeks since the incident, I’ve been okay. Maybe I was too shocked at that time but now that I think about it, I didn’t need to act like such a paranoid . Logically speaking, I did sleep with the guy already. And besides, he’s handsome and I’m his fan. I really tried to convince myself that it's okay. I'm just a bit afraid of how will this reflect on my career. But all in all, I didn’t really got that much to lose, if you ask me, he’s more on the losing end. I’m just pretty confused as to why he did that. Andddd I’m sorta embarassed that Jong Suk had to see me that weak. I am not the type to be a damsel in distress. I hate it. I can handle myself just fine.

A few more weeks unto graduation and I am here jobsearching. I’m currently walking in Cheongdamdong, Gangnam area. Why here in Gangnam? Because it’s the place where all the entertainment agencies are. I applied to all sorts of places. I tried the broadcasting stations, production houses and even the entertainment agencies. It’s tiring and not one has even called me yet. I guess they’re not fond of foreigners who’s gonna have a hard time to speak the language professionally.

“I need a job badly. I so don’t want to be deported.” I said to myself as I bit my lip and sighed.

I decided to relax a bit. I  was already in the area, might as well see it more. Besides, I’m dressed nicely with a blazer, pencil skirt and heels to match. I’m dressed like that because I did some walk-ins and gave my resume. I could pretend to be like a Gangnam Chick and sightsee some celebrities too. I was cheered by the thought.

While I was walking, I saw a Cafe, Cafe Bene, it’s like one of the Korean Starbucks. Since it’s noon, there’s not much people. I surveyed the place and went in. “This looks like a place where I can see some celebs while relaxing.”   I whispered to myself as I started to feel the sweat from walking.

I went in, I ordered an iced green tea latte and sat on the first floor by the window. I distanced myself away from the group in the other side of the room. I really liked the atmosphere in coffee shops. It’s refreshing and it really has  that work and study feel. If I had more money, I would probably hang around the coffee shops in the university area more often.

I took out my phone in my shoulder bag and connected to the WiFi. I took a selca with the coffee and uploaded it in instagram with captions, “Make way for the Gangnam Chick Kekeke ^__^.” I also tagged my mother and sister in my post. Then, I checked-in the Cafe in my SNS.

“I’ll probably stay here for an hour or two, then I’ll go.” I said to myself as I charged my phone and browsed the internet. I decided to log into reddit and check the latest news and movies while passing time.

After a good 30 minutes of browsing, I closed my phone and stretched my arms.

“Aish, there’s no celebrities here.” I said disappointedly while looking at my surroundings.

Then I heard the door open and the cafe staff greeting. I reached for my phone again and started to browse. I saw in my peripherals that someone just sat behind me. I caught a whiff of the strong perfume scent of the person. It seemed familiar. I shrugged as I crossed my legs and started to browse some job postings.

“Ahem.” The person behind me coughed. “Aheeeem.” He continued to cough even louder. “Aheeeeemmmmmm.” He coughed for the third time. I was distracted from all his coughing. I rolled my eyes as I started to grow annoyed.

“Kim Soo Hyun-ssi? We’re your fans. Can we have an autograph?” I heard the three girls in chorus. I blinked my eyes in surprise as I heard that fateful name.

The person cleared his throat. “Sure.” The guy said.

I knew that deep voice anywhere. I cautiously turned my head to look behind my back. Then I bit my lip to who it was. It was none other than Kim Soo Hyun. He took the girls' papers and signed them. Then the girls left all happy and ordered. Again, we’re alone in this little area in the cafe. I immediately turned my back again. I decided to pretend that I didn’t see him and leave. I took my green tea latte and bag, I was about to stand up but I was stopped.

“No need to look or run away.” Kim Soo Hyun said looking straight and not even turning his head towards me.  “I just want to apologize.”

 “For being a maniac, a freak and class 10 jerk? I know I’m pretty but you need to contain yourself.” I remarked mockingly. I decided to give him a chance and took a seat. It’s weird how we’re talking while being seated back to back and not facing each other.

He sighed. “You know, I’m an A-list celebrity. You should be flattered.”

“If you’re going to be like that. I’m leaving.” I said. It felt  like deja vu. I think I’ve said this before.

“No, don’t. That’s not why I’m here.”Kim Soo Hyun worringly said. “By the way, why are you with Lee Jong Suk? Is he the man you’ve been crying about? Is he your boyfriend? Ex-boyfriend?” He continued to barrage me with questions.

“No, no and no. He’s my friend.” I said confidently as I crossed my hands.

“Friend?!” He exclaimed as I he turned slightly towards me. He laughed in disbelief. “He punched right through me! I even had these injuries! I had to cancel shoots!”

“Yah, I’m not deaf! Stop raising your voice.” I said in a pissed off tone.

“Are you dating him?” He breathe in and out while trying to clam down.

“I’m not dating him. We’re just good friends. Is that all?”

There was a sudden silence.

“I... I didn’t know why I did something rash like that. And after thinking about it, I just felt I was betrayed at that time. After years of being in a one-sided relationship, I somehow finally allowed someone to be near me. But that person managed to ignore me right off the bat.” He sighed as he dropped his face on his palm in frustration. “It really annoys me.”

“Wow, you must’ve been really annoyed.” I sarcastically remarked.

“I know, I love my work but why am I so affected by you? Why did I do that reckless thing? I could've been in a scandal. Heck, I even damaged my face. How can I be like this towards my craft?!” He sighed. “But all I’m trying to say is sorry... sincerely.”

I was speechless. I tried to say something clever or something to make him feel bad. But all that I managed to say was – “It’s okay.”  

“And because of that, I need you to stay close to me...”

“Hold up, are you asking me to date you?” I asked as my eyes widened in surprise.

“I don’t know, possibly?”

“Are you drunk again? You’re with Suzy. Stop saying nonsense!” I exclaimed as I turned my head slightly towards him. “Besides... I’m not ready for a relationship again. What happened that night was a mistake. Was it because we’re drunk? Or just because you’re handsome? No, I was definitely drunk. But... I regretted it.”

“Wait what did you say before that?”

“We’re drunk?”

“No, after that.”

“You’re handsome?”

“Yes yes.” He giggled like a child at that remark.

“Yah, be serious.” I nudged his chair. There was silence.

“Are you playing hard to get? Are we still in the stage where we can play hard to get?” I felt him move from his seat to turn a bit. Then he breathe in and out. “I won’t ask you to date me, just... I don’t know... Stay by my side, or at least, let me stay near you. Don’t ignore me, please.” Kim Soo Hyun said in a low and serious voice. I can feel his breath in my ears. “As for Suzy... I can break up with her right now.” There was a silence again. I didn’t know what to say. And I didn’t know whether I should believe him. I... I didn’t know what to answer.

“Hello Suz-” Kim Soo Hyun said with his phone in his ear. He's calling someone.

“Yah!”I quickly  stood up and went to his front. I tried to reach his phone and stop him.

“Stop doing that. I’m really breaking up with her... It’s about time” He said as he took the phone out of my reach.

“Are you drunk?! Stop that, it’s not funny.” I tried to tone my voice down, I didn’t want to get people suspicious.

“I’m serious.” Kim Soo Hyun said as he looked at me with unwavering eyes.  I felt defeated and slowly took a sit at my table, still in utter disbelief. He returned to his call.

“Suzy, we need to talk. I’m in Cafe Bene in Cheongdamdong. It’s near JYP center... Can you see me for a bit?.. Okay...” He locked his phone and placed it on the table.

“Seriously Kim Soo Hyun, I’m not gonna be any part of this anymore.”  I said as I stood up and looked at him.

“Stay, please.” Kim Soo Hyun looked at me with pleading eyes. How can I leave if he’s like that?

Chumchuneun jageun kkatallena (Red Sun) Nado moreuge- (Orange Caramel’s Catallena)

His phone rang. He reached for his phone again and answered it. He listened to the person in the other line.

“Hyung, just a moment. I’ll call you tonight. I just had something important. I’m sorry. I’ll finish scanning the contracts tonight.” He said  to the person on the phone and ended the call. He turned to look at the conflicted me. “There, I cancelled everything. Please be responsible and stay put.”

I sat down on my table again. We’re sitting back to back. Annoyed, I hit the back of Kim Soo Hyun’s head with mine. “Oh universe, please put some sense into Kim Soo Hyun.” I said as I bit my lip. It was unsettling. I tightened my grip on my bag. Kim Soo Hyun turned his sitting body.

“Give me your phone.” He said as he looked at me.

I shaked my head still biting my lips.

“Just give it.” He opened his palms and gestured his hand. I raised my phone hesitatingly. As soon as it was in his arm’s reach. He immediately snatched it away from me and placed it on his jacket pocket. “I’m hanging onto this for a while.”

“Yah! just because you’re some hotshot...”

“I need to make sure that your booooyyyfriend will not come and punch me again.” He said while stressing on the word boyfriend. He stood up. “What do you want to eat? Anything?”

“Tch, I said he's not my boyfriend." I hissed. "But, I’m good...”

“You’re not on a diet are you?” He raised his brows.

“Why would I be? Are you saying I'm fat?!” I scoffed at him.

He playfully laughs, “I’ll buy you a cake so be a good girl and stay there.” He walked to the counter and ordered.

I obediently sat there and held my drink. I took a sip of my latte to ease of my nervousness.

 “Why is he like this?! Should I be happy? Should I dance in joy? He’s really breaking up with her with me here?! What has gotten into him. What has gotten into me, why am I letting myself be dragged like this?!” I thought to myself as I knocked my head with my fists and hoping for some epiphany.  

“Aishhhhh.” I groaned and sat back as I release a sound of defeat and disbelief.