Kim Mae Ri

After the incident, I was still in shock. For a while I didn’t say a thing. Jong Suk brought me to his car parked outside the venue to relax. I was seating in the passenger seat and Jong Suk on the driver’s seat. He didn’t say anything. He just sat there and let me take the situation all in. I inhaled and exhaled while trying to compose myself.

“Jong Suk-ah. Can I smoke?” I said to finally break off the silence.

“Sure.” He attentively said as he opened his car’s window. I reached for my bag and took out my cigarettes. I lit one. “Mae Ri, can I have one too?” Jong Suk added. I was surprised, I turned to look at him.

“You smoke again?” I asked.

“It’s fine, I haven’t smoked in quite a while since I’ve been going to the gym.”

“Are you sure?”

“It was stressful. At least give me one.” He said while looking outside.

“I see.” Honestly, smoke really helps relieve the tension. I didn’t have the heart to stop him. I gave him one of the cigarettes. He took the lighter too and lit it. We both huffed the smoke. There was a moment of silence again.

“You  must be surprised.” I said to my friend while my eyes were downcast.

He gave a faint smile and turned to look at me. “It’s okay, I won’t ask you to tell me about it.”

“I... actually, I was surprised too. I-I didn’t know what made him act that way...” I said as I couldn’t find the right words to say about the situation. Jong Suk listened to me intently and not saying a word. “But what really bothered me is that he's accusing me of such things. He even said that I’m really into actors and celebrities. I don’t get him, why would he say that. Am I that low? For 's sake, I don’t even have that much of friends.” I wondered as I fiddled my fingers.

Jong Suk seemed surprised. I tried to observe him, he seemed to be hesistating about something. “I’m sorry Mae Ri. You had to see that. A- actually, there’s something I need to tell you.” He stuttered.

“No, don’t say that. I should be sorry. I dragged you into all this . ” I protested.

“No, it’s also about me.” He was still looking away.

“What is it?” I asked as I raised my brows.

He puffed a smoke, “You see... I-I’m an actor too.”

“Jinja? If you’re an actor, I should know it. I can’t believe it, you’re joking right?”I grinned as I looked at him.

“I am. It’s just that you don’t watch the more recent dramas and sitcoms.” He gave a faint laugh and looked at me.

“So you’re saying that you’ve been an actor all this time? Does Jinri know anything about this?”

“I don’t know if Jinri knows. But I’ve been acting for quite some time now.” He leaned his elbow on the car window and bit his finger in worry.

“Why won’t you tell me? Don’t you trust me?”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that...” He paused.

“That what?!” I started to grew impatient. I looked away and  huffed a smoke.

“I’m afraid that this would all change.” He looked at me, “And I would lose you.”

I raised my brows. “Why do you say that? Tch, my friend really doesn’t trust me.” I pouted.

“I don’t know. I just assumed that you would get irritating. You would bug me about all things... You’d used me. And... you’d stop being you. I’ve seen some of my friends become like this. Truthfully, as a celebrity, it’s hard to have trustworthy friends.” He lowered his hand and looked straight at the window. “I don’t want anything to change about us. I want to keep you here, like this. Listening, laughing and just being you.”

I was having mixed feelings. I’m touched and I was a bit offended too. For a moment there, I forgot about what happened. This epiphany that my friend has been an actor for all these years has been a big surprise. I threw my cigarette and he threw his too.

 “I understand what you’re saying. But I hope that you’ll have faith in me too.”  I said as I looked at my friend, “I promise, that even if I know that... nothing would change. I won’t put you on a pedestal of some sort. You’ll still be the innocent Jong Suk who drinks and seldomly smokes with me. My very loyal and caring chinggu. We’ll still be good friends, I promise.”

Jong Suk looked at me with warm eyes and smiled. “I’m stopping myself, but, can I hug you?” I smiled and nodded.

We gave each other a long hug.

“Since you told me about your job. Am I really indebted to tell you about what happened?” I said as we’re still in a hug.

“No, it’s fine. You can tell me when you feel like it. I don’t need to know about it now.” He said as he tapped my back.

Then, we released ourselves from the hug. Jong Suk looked at me. I really felt that he was only looking at me. He raised his head and kissed my forehead. My eyes widened and my mouth opened in surprise. My face became warm all of a sudden.

“Yah! I didn’t tell you to do that. I only agreed to a hug.” I said as I playfully hit him while trying to act cooly. He smiled at me.

“You’re this prickly, I wonder why Kim Soo Hyun did that.” He said.

“Yah!” I hit him again.

I felt quite cheered up. But deep inside me, I was worrying about what could happen. Jong Suk just punched Kim Soo Hyun. They were both actors. I hope there won’t be a scandal. And I hope Kim Soo Hyun-ssi won’t sue Jong Suk. All these thoughts had just dawned on me, I just went to a party with Lee Jong Suk – an actor! And I’ve been meeting him like this. Did Kim Soo Hyun just got jealous over there? Am I just imagining things? "Oh please please, don’t let my friend get into any scandal and specially not with me. Let us live a quite and free life.” I prayed.

Kim Soo Hyun

After what happened, I was completely bummed out. I immediately left as I happened to collect my thoughts. I can't return to the party with red cheeks and bleeding lips. I was so mad at that time that I couldn’t even rationally think and say words. And now, I’m even more mad at myself for doing that.

“What have I done?” I whispered to myself as I covered my mouth.

“Soohyun-ah, are you done looking at the advertising contracts?” The agency chief said as  he noticed I was spacing out. I was at KeyEast Entertainment’s conference room in Samseong-dong. Even with an unsound mind, I still needed to work.

“Ah, not yet, I’ll finish it.” I replied to the chief.

“What happened to your lips? Manager Yoo hasn’t told me anything yet.”

“I... I was just clumsy.” I said as  I looked down. The chief looked at me with suspicion.

“Take care of that. Go to the hospital and make sure it doesn’t scar. Okay? We’ve postponed some shoots just because of that. As for the contracts, check it and make your decision. I’ve already picked these for you.” He stood up and pointed at the papers in the desk. “I’ll be checking the artist training. Tell Manager Yoo about your decision.”

“Yes Chief. I’m sorry.” I said as he went on his way.

It’s been a few days since I’ve been absent minded. That incident kept bothering me. The thought of Kim Mae Ri-ssi with Lee Jong Suk irritates me. And I’ve been thinking... I wanted to see Kim Mae Ri, despite of what happened. I wanted to apologize. I just wanted to see her badly so I can finally stop acting like and focus on my work. I can't afford being like this anymore.

I tried to read the contracts again but I really can’t focus."Aish." I exclaimed as my temper was getting to me. I gave up and sighed. “Maybe I’ll try and jog later.”

Chumchuneun jageun kkatallena (Red Sun) Nado moreuge ppajyeo deureoga~ (Orange Caramel’s Catallena)

My phone is ringing, I reached for my phone to see who was calling – it was Suzy. I didn’t want to take it. It’s been a while since we’ve been in touch. I didn’t feel like dealing with her at the moment. I continued reading and ignored the phone call.

Still feeling uneasy, I decided to take a break. I took my cracked iPhone and tried browsing online. I logged in on my SNS. Then you know what I did? I checked Kim Mae Ri’s profile. 

“Yah, Kim Soo Hyun, are you nuts? Are you still going to look at her?” I tried to reason with myself. I needed to stop all this stalking. Then I saw one of her updates. She just checked-in somewhere near. She’s in Cafe Bene 6 minutes ago. It’s in the Gangnam-gu area and a few minutes walk from our office. I quickly stood up. I took my jacket and ran to the Cafe.

“Soo Hyun-ah. Where are you going?” Manager Yoo said as I ran past by him.

“I’ll be back in a few hours. I’ll finish my work later. Sorry.” I said as I brushed pass him. He looked at me wonder.

“I’ll worry what I’ll say later.” I whispered to myself as I continued  to ran, “As of now, I really just need to get a hold of her.”

I needed to see her. Only by seeing her, I can work and think in peace.

With my heart on my hand, I walked as fast as I can and wished that she’s still there.

I really wanted to see her.