Amber's POV

24th of March 2013

Its been 2  or 3 months since her vacation  with her family.

I asked her out to the cinema, there's a movie that i really want to watch.
 

I will pick her up like i used to, and she will smile at me like she used to.

Life is good.....so far. 

Until that day when she went back to korea, later she called me at night.

She told me she had a lot of stories to tell but her tone sounded tired,

i told her she could tell me another time since she just arrived first thing in the morning, she hesitated at first, but i begged her to.

Tomorrow morning i texted her to meet me up at the cafe nearby the convention store, she said yes.
We were happily joking around but then,

*flashback*

"W-wait am there's something i want to tell you. I already told sulli about it", cutted her.

"ummm....", added her.

"What's wrong? Spit it out soojung", i asked her, she nodded.

"y-you know myungsoo right?", asked her back, i raise my brows.

"yeah he's in the same class as you, why?", i asked curiously.

This is rare for both of us since we never talk about boys before.

She then put her tea back on the table first, i clear my throat. I feel nervous somehow.

"We're kind of umm...close....you see we texts each other a lot right now", stated her shyly.

my heart stops for a second.

Wait a minute. 
 

What the did i hear just now? 

Kind of close?

Texts each other a lot?

I feel like my heart just got ripped into a million times.

*ends of flashback*

"Am what movie you want to watch?", her voice turn me back into reality.

"E-eh? Ah this", im pointing at the movie's poster, she nodded.

"okay lets go buy the tickets then", said her as she hold my hand and drag me into the ticket box excitedly,

i chuckled, seeing her like this is really amusing.

Now we're in the cinema. im busy eating my popcorn while she busy texting with someone. I bet its myungsoo. 

I sighed. Im so not in the mood right now i feel like done watching this movie too, i wanna go home, sleep, and forget about all of this thoughts away.

"Umm am....", i looked at her, "yes?"
"Myungsoo want to pick me up after this...is it okay for you?", she asked me.

I look at her in the eyes she looks like a puppy right now, begging but feel guilty at the same time. i cant resist that. Why are you so cute? I cant stay mad if she's acting like this. Aish.

I ruffled her hair while my eyes were turning back into the movie, "of course its fine", i said it with a flat tone.

"But are you mad?", 
"Im not", 
"You are",
"Im not",

Then she hold my chin out of the blue and make me turn around facing her.
"YOU. ARE.", she claimed.

I sighed, this girl is really stubborn.
To tell you the truth actually.....i dont wanna see you go.
But i wanna see you smile.
It hurts so much just thinking of felt like this for awhile.
I clear my throat.

"Im not jung soojung, you can go ok? Dont worry about this dork servant of yours", i said to her jokingly, she pinched my cheek.

"Yah! Whats that for?!", now she giggled at me, i raise my brows.
"Because you're just so stupid", she said as she went back watching the movie.

"Yeah iam....", i mumbled to myself.

After that myungsoo really pick her up, 
he's waiting in front of the cinema.
She looked so bright and lively at the moment she saw him.
Both of them bid goodbyes to me and she promised that she will text me later at night, i just nodded.

I feel like i want to cry but i cant.

I called Key, Minho, and Jjong immedietly to meet me up at the arcade games, i need to refresh my mind.
We're busy playing games until late night. Then my phone beeps.

I put it out from my pocket and check who's texting me.

Its her.

"Amber he asked me out!! im so happy i said yes -soojung".

Now i feel like i want to throw my phone away and cry my eyes out.
My heart breaks so much that i cant breathe.

How i wish i was 'him'.

The 'him' that leaves your words breathless.

The 'him' that makes your heart swell with lovely thoughts.

How i wish i was 'he'.

The 'he' that makes your eyes light up.

How i wish i was this person to you, because you are my 'her' but iam not your 'him'.