The moon was slowly bidding his farewells to the night’s sky as the sun was slowly creeping in and gradually turning the sky into a faint shade of blue that’s announcing the beginning of yet another day. The lights were turned off long ago, and the house was filled with deadly reticence, and one might’ve that that it was left abandoned if it weren’t for the couple who were fast asleep in their rooms.

It was 4 in the morning when the phone started ringing on the nightstand, and they would’ve ignored it if it hadn’t kept on ringing continuously without seemingly intending to stop. Krystal’s mom was the first to notice, and with a huff she rested her back on the headboard and grabbed the phone with annoyance. Initially, she’d wanted to ignore the call since it was from an un-known number, but something urged her to answer for there was a feeling inside that’d told her that something wasn’t right. With a deep breath, she picked up and brought the phone towards her ears.

“Hello, is this Krystal Jung’s mother?” Some woman’s voice immediately asked, and after shrugging at her husband’s questioning look, she responded with a faint yes.

“I’m terribly sorry to inform you that your daughter has just been transferred to the hospital. She was in a…” She paled at the woman’s statement and didn’t hear the rest of her words for she was already replaying what the woman had said. “Your daughter had been transferred to the hospital.” The words kept echoing inside of her as she was transfixed in her place with widened eyes and a mouth agape. Her hands kept loosening gradually their hold on the phone until they eventually let it fall with a loud bump on the floor. The sound seemed to have snapped her out of her shock before she abruptly stood up and sprinted towards her daughter’s room.

Her husband, on the other hand, has been trying for the last couple of minutes to capture her attention, but she seemed too shocked to even notice his presence or utter any word. Worrisome has washed over him as he looked at her panicked face and her speechlessness, and he kept calling her name over and over. Several possibilities raced through his head, and he couldn’t help but think of the worst scenarios ever. He, too, was freaking out and was trying hard to get any words out of her, but it was futile because she was in sheer shock. Her sudden movement out of the room left him in utter frustration, and even though he would’ve never admitted, he feared to know about whatever she’d been told nevertheless, he didn’t hesitate into picking up the phone swiftly from the floor with trembling hands.

“Hello? Hello?” He heard a woman’s questioning tone the moment he brought the phone to his ears.

“Mr. Jung’s speaking.” His confidant reply was a complete contrast to his inner worrisome and fear.

“Mr. Jung, we’ve already informed your wife that your daughter has just been transferred to the hospital…” The woman continued explaining everything; the accident, his daughter’s critical condition and the urgency to come to the hospital, and all that while, Krystal’s father tried with every ounce of strength he had to keep himself together as he knew that he’d break down if he let himself react to the news. He bottled all his emotions and kept them stored inside of him behind his calm façade as he continued listening to the woman’s words. Eventually, he thanked her before he hurriedly went to his wife.

Like he predicted, she was standing in front of her daughter’s empty bed with tear stricken face. Her mind was blank, and she didn’t seem in control in any of her actions as she was too shocked to do anything. He, on the other hand, knew that his daughter was simply hanging by a thin line between life and death, and he didn’t know if she’ll be manage to survive until they arrived. Time was crucial, and he knew that every femtosecond was much of importance, so without hesitation, he quickly grabbed his wife’s forearm and pulled her into a tight embrace as she continued crying in his chest.

He kept his tight hold around her as he descended the stairs and grabbed their coats. Krystal’s mother could barely move, and if it weren’t for her husband’s aid, she probably would’ve kept standing in her daughter’s pitch black room in helplessness. It was like; she’d stopped functioning the moment she barged into the room and found that it was, indeed, empty. She refused to believe the woman’s words at first and wanted by all means to prove her wrong, but when she failed, it felt like her soul shattered because of the intensity of her pain.

Krystal’s father was equally devastated, but he knew that if he showed it, it’d simply hamper them from reacting quickly, and it’d only probably result in regret. He didn’t want to be told that he’d arrived late; that it was too late, he wanted to see his daughter even if it was only for one last time. That’s why; he’d kept all his emotions at bay and instead focused at what they were ought to be doing in order to arrive in the hospital at the soonest way possible.

One thing he was sure of, neither of them was capable of driving, so after closing the door behind them, they began searching for a cab in the hushed streets of their neighborhood, but it was seemed impossible since they were almost deserted. They frustratingly kept looking and praying for any miracle until they reached the end of their street. His wife wasn’t making it anymore easier as her cries continued loudly, and he was barely holding himself from venting out on her. He was flustered by her state and his need for their seemingly non-existent ride. He was on the verge of a break down when he suddenly heard someone’s voice from afar.

He squinted his eyes as he tried to get a better look at the figure that sprinted towards them, but it was useless since he didn’t see anything besides his silhouette. Few minutes later, a young man abruptly stopped in front of them, and Krystal’s father felt like crying out of joy the instant he realized who he was. The young man was struggling to talk due to his excessive panting, but Krystal’s father had already figured out what he wanted to say, and without waiting any longer, he grasped his wife’s hand tightly and nearly fled towards the car with him trailing behind.

He instantly took off the moment they reached the car and began driving illegally fast. His trembling hands were making it hard for him to control the steering wheel, and he fought hard to control the tears that threatened to fall because he feared that they’ll blurry his vision. If he was alone, he wouldn’t have cared about his health, but since Krystal’s parents were sitting in the back seat, he tried to push his fatal thoughts aside and calm down a bit.

After what felt like eternity, they miraculously managed to arrive safely as the car finally came to a halt in front of the hospital. They quickly got out of the car, and minutes later, they were all standing outside the ER. Krystal’s mother’s misery doubled when she was informed that her daughter’s condition was critical and that she was in a middle of a very complicated surgery. She was continuously told that it was yet hard to know if her daughter would make it, and this statement alone was making her despair even more unbearable.

Her pain reached the point where it was becoming physical too because she felt like every part of her was aching, and right then, she wished for nothing more than to be in her daughter’s shoes for she was sure it wouldn’t hurt half as bad. Her husband’s reassuring touch, for the first time, failed to affect her as she continued repeating her daughter’s name over and over like she’d appear magically in front of her.

Krystal’s father tried hard to ignore his wife, but it was nearly impossible because of her loud sobs and whimpers. He eventually realized that he could no longer endure seeing her in such pain, so he let his eyes roam around the place to avoid looking at her. His eyebrows were pulled together into a frown when he suddenly realized that the hallway was empty; there wasn’t anyone else there besides his wife.

“Where did he go?” he silently asked himself as he began walking around to find him, but he eventually gave in when he didn’t find any sign of his presence. He was about to return to his wife when another question suddenly popped into his head. He felt the need to know its answer, so he changed his direction towards the two nurses who stood behind the counter.

“Excuse me; I wanted to know if there'd been someone with Krystal Jung in the accident.” He asked one of the nurses the moment he reached them.

“A young man, he was announced dead at 3:15 am.” Although she didn’t show any kind of emotion, a hint of sadness could be detected in her voice. She didn’t avert her gaze from the pile of papers that were strewn in front of her, so she hadn’t noticed his shocked face and the lone tear that has fallen down his face. Without uttering anything, he walked to where his wife was seated.

He’d refused to get further details from the nurse since he already had a guess on who he was but was afraid of confirming it. He wanted to talk to his wife, but when he noticed how ed up she looked, his urge to do so subsided as he gazed at her pitifully. He then grabbed his phone from his pocket before he dialed a number.

“H-he-he’s g-go-gone…” Krystal’s father felt like a part of had died the instant he heard those words. He clenched his hands and rested it on the wall facing him as he closed his eyes tightly. “G-God… C-can y-you b-be-believe th-this?” His hands began pounding the wall; weakly at first but then it started becoming stronger as he kept shaking his head like he was trying to say no.

His pounding was getting stronger until it reached the point where it was really hurting his hands, yet he refused to stop because it felt like he was directing all his pain towards his hands. It felt relieving to keep doing so because his physical pain seemed so trivial compared to his inner agony right now.

“P-pl-please s-say som-something… Sh-She’ll l-live, w-won’t sh-she? I n-need h-her. I-I re-really n-need h-her t-t-to l-live.” His pounding was getting rougher as he listened to the voice on the other line that trembled vigorously while saying those words. He refused to speak and kept his mouth tightly shut since he knew that he’d crumble down if he uttered even a single word.

Time passed, yet there weren’t any news about Krystal’s condition. They all waited impatiently outside the ER with the couple seated on the bench and the young man sitting beside them on the cool floor. The mother’s sobs never quieted down as she kept praying continuously while the two men sat frozen with expressionless faces.

Suddenly, the ER’s doors opened revealing Krystal’s body being pushed out by couple of nurses on a small bed.

Her father let out a huge sigh of relief when he saw that his daughter was alive. A lone tear fell as he closed his eyes tightly and continuously thanked the heavens for keeping his daughter alive. Her mother, on the other hand, hurriedly rushed towards her and held her hands tightly.

“It’s going to be alright.” She kept saying those words to her until it started to feel like she was trying to reassure herself more than her daughter. Her tears kept falling; ones that were resulting from several contradicting emotions. She was as relieved as her husband and quite happy that her daughter was alive, but she was also saddened by what had happened and the fact that her daughter was still lying unconsciously on a hospital bed. Her emotions were too paradoxical and overwhelming that she found herself tightening her hold around her daughter’s hands.

The doctor emerged seconds later, and he went straight to her in order to convince her into leaving her daughter’s side since she needed to rest. She refused stubbornly as she was dreading leaving her daughter. As stupid as this might sound, she was afraid that everything would happen all over again if she did so. Her husband then approached her and with few calming words, he tried to persuade her. In the beginning, she wasn’t fazed, but when she felt like she was on the verge of giving in, she finally admitted her fears to her husband. He felt utterly helpless as he looked at her sorrowfully, and he couldn’t help but wrap his arms around her protectively as she finally let her hands fall to her sides and sobbed into his chest.

The young man stood from afar at a corner and watched the scene in front of him. Although he fought really hard, more tears managed to fall down his face. His emotions were as contradicting as the mother’s, yet the weight on his shoulder was much heavier than anyone’s since he knew that her father will soon snap and vent. Consequently, he needed to be strong and take Krystal's father’s shoes. He’d already cried for a while when he was alone, yet it didn’t relive any of his pain. His agony was inevitable because the only one who’d manage to ease it off had already left him utterly alone.

After she’d calmed a bit, the doctor informed them that Krystal’s going to be transferred into the IC, and they needed to rest for few hours before they could see her again since there were only certain hours when they were allowed to visit. Krystal’s mother’s refused at first and kept yelling about how she needed to be by her daughter’s side 24/7 until she woke up, but her continuous crying and shouting finally seemed to take its toll on her as her voice gradually lowered. Her husband eventually asked the young man to take her home since he felt the need to do one more thing before he left.

The room had been empty for quite a while besides the figure that had been carried inside a couple of hours ago. He was left abandoned on a metallic bed in the middle of the room. His body was as cold as the room’s temperature, and it was wholly covered with a thin white sheet. The room was deadly silent and although it should’ve calmed whoever entered with its peacefulness, it did anything but because of its slightly creepy atmosphere.

The quietness was finally interrupted when the sound of footsteps approaching was heard from afar, and soon it was followed with one of keys as someone tried to unlock the door. Although the room was illuminated with blinding lights, Krystal’s father felt like darkness seeped through his body the instant he stepped a foot inside.

He shuddered when he entered and rubbed his forearms a couple of times in order to calm his shaking body. He chose to believe that he was trembling because of the room’s coldness and not because he dreaded being here. Regret washed over him the moment his eyes laid on the figure, and he unintentionally took a step back as he stared at it with widened eyes.

“Could you leave me here for few minutes?” He finally managed to detach his eyes from the figure and instead turned his head towards the nurse who stood beside him as he asked. She seemed hesitant at first, but when she noticed how pleading his eyes were, she eventually nodded. He watched as she walked away until she completely faded out of his sight. He kept staring at the far wall that was facing him as he was dreading averting his stare.

When he finally turned around, he tried to avoid looking at the figure and let his eyes roam around the room, but it was useless. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t seem to be able to divert his gaze away from it. He was transfixed in his place as he was afraid of moving. He was scared to see him because it’d only confirm his death, and as ridiculous as this might sound, there was still a part of him that wished that they were mistaken.

The thing was; it was so hard to grasp the news about a loved one’s death. No matter what, you’d try with all your mighty to prove its invalidity. You wouldn’t just be able to believe the fact that you’ll never be able to see him again. It’d take time to eventually realize that his presence was ultimately gone from your life…  For some it might take too long, and for others; time might never be enough.

He didn’t know how long he stood there; frozen in his spot until he finally felt the need to move. He knew that he’d deeply regret it later if he left, so with every ounce of courage and strength he had; he stared moving forward. His wobbly feet were making it hard to walk as they threatened to fail him any time soon.

When he was few steps away from the figure, fear overcame him, and his steps were getting smaller. His whole body was trembling so badly by the time he finally took one last step forward and stood beside him; he looked like he suffered from hypothermia with the way he was shaking.

He raised his hands slightly since he wanted to lift the cover, but they fell abruptly to his sides when they were inches away as he was terrified, utterly so. He inhaled a deep breath before he let his fingertips brush the white sheet ever so slightly. His hands then grasped it tightly before he shut his eyes and abruptly removed it.

His hands flew to his mouth the instant he opened his eyes in order to control the sob that managed to escape from his lips. He stood paralyzed staring with widened eyes at the figure that laid in front of him. Few tears rolled down his cheeks but soon his crying became unmanageable for the tears escalated quickly with each second that passed by.

The figure’s body was covered with scars that were already cleaned long ago, and his face, his beautiful face was almost untouched besides a scar above his eyebrow. If it weren’t for his paleness and his slightly bluish lips, one might’ve mistaken him for peacefully sleeping and Krystal’s father deluded himself into believing so as he stared sorrowfully at him.

His legs gave up on him as he fell on the cold floor. He put his right hand on the bed and rested his forehead on its edge as he finally let himself grief. His body felt like it’d crumble down if it weren’t for his hand that managed to keep him on his knees. It was like he’d reopened a deep wound with the first tear that had fallen; one with unendurable pain. No matter how hard he cried, it seemed useless because his sorrow was beyond all the tears. It was even beyond all the words for it was impossible to put how he felt into words.

Were there any limits to pain? He silently asked himself. Because if there were, right now, he felt like he’d exceeded them all.

He stayed like that for quite a while until his cries slowly began to quieten down. He tried to push himself up but failed few times before he finally managed to do so. A wave of misery hit him when he looked at him again, and the tears never seemed to end for they kept falling down without stopping. 

Memories flooded his mind as he closed his eyes and raised his head slightly towards the ceiling. He remembered the times they all sat together on the dinner table with their endless conversations. He remembered witnessing his childish arguments with Krystal over the most trivial stuff. He remembered his protectiveness and how he genuinely seemed to care about her.

He’d always treated him like a son of his own as he somehow managed to become a member of their family. Krystal’s father was doubtful at first because of his obvious feelings towards her, but then all his hesitations subsided when he realized that he had no intentions in hurting his daughter, on the contrary, he’d always taken care of her, and he’d appreciated that.

Right now, he felt nostalgic as he remembered how his presence had managed to affect them all and not only Krystal as he’d treated them like they were his second family for he lacked one of his own. He couldn’t deny the fact that he’d felt like he’d left a gap inside of him with his departure.

The memories didn’t seem to stop, and it was like a tape being replayed inside of his head; even the smallest details seemed much of an importance right now, but it abruptly stopped at his smiling face. No matter how hard Krystal’s father tried to get rid of his grinning face, it seemed futile. His smile had always been contagious for he managed to draw one on everyone’s face even in the toughest time. Krystal’s father then realized that he wouldn’t be able to witness his radiating and bubbly character anymore and there wasn’t any thought that could’ve been more saddening than this.

“God, she’s alive… She’s alive and she needs you… we all do.” His voice cracked as he spoke, and it was full of despair and agony.  He felt the need to say those words because as silly as this might sound, he’d wished for them to miraculously be able to wake him up. He felt so weak and incapable when he realized that there was simply nothing that could be done anymore. Somehow, he was obliged to find a way to accept that he was forever gone… But why was it so ing hard to do so?!  

The image of his daughter suddenly popped in his head as he was staring down at him, and he realized that she could’ve been the one lying on the bed if it weren’t for him.

“Th-thank y-you… Th-thank y-you for l-loving her th-that much.” His words were getting interrupted with his hiccups and sobs nevertheless he managed to whisper. Krystal's father like to believe that a ghost of a smile appeared on his pale face upon hearing those words and as a result, a sad one formed on his own. 

He glanced at him one last time as a lone tear rolled down his cheek before he finally put on the cover again. He didn’t move immediately but stood staring at the white sheet for few minutes before he finally turned his back to him.

He walked very slowly towards the door as the distance between them grew wider. The room was gradually resuming to its previous state. The sound of footsteps was now getting lower as Krystal’s father walked towards the opposite direction. Before the sound of the keys was heard again though, he abruptly turned around and took one final glance at him before he whispered softly.

“May your soul rest in peace, Joonmyun.”