“Seunghyun! Seunghyun!” I screamed on top of my lungs as I pushed through the crowd making my way towards him that lay motionless on the ground. With all my might, willpower and the overpowering concern I surfed among the people. I could feel warm tears trickling continuously down my cheeks. My worried heart was aching so badly wanting to go to him but the crowd divided us. I could clearly see his lips were white and pale. All the color was drained from him.

“Excuse me!” I shouted over at the people in front of me and finally I could reach him. I pressed on his wrist, trying to find his pulse. In that state of panic I couldn’t find his pulse. My head went blank. I placed my ears close to his mouth, nothing. He wasn’t breathing. The next thing I knew tears wouldn’t stop falling and I was pressing my hands against his chest to perform an emergency CPR with every ounce of strength I still had inside me.

At last, the emergency team came running towards us with the stretcher rattling with every bump on the road. He was lifted onto the gurney and wheeled straight into the Accidents and Emergency. I pushed the stretcher as fast as I could. I didn’t want to leave his side. The nurses hastily cut open his outfit throwing it to the floor. Oblivious of my actions I picked up his clothes, wiping my tears with them as I watched the resident doctor giving out instructions to his medical team. In no time monitors and tubes were inserted all over his body and what I saw on the screen shattered my heart. What was supposed to lines that jumped up and down showing his heartbeat was nothing but a straight line.

“I think it’s a V-fib.” The doctor’s intern announced.

“Give him Lidocaine or amiodarone then. Why aren’t you doing anything?” I screamed at the top of my voice, annoyed that they weren’t doing anything to save Seunghyun.

“It’s CHF. He is my transplant patient.” Dr Han interrupted as he rushed into the exam room followed by Seungri. Dr Han looked at me sternly. I stood rooted at my spot.

“I’m doing my best but I need to finish examining him before I can administer anything.”

“Please wait outside Dr Im. Dr Lee is on duty for me today.” Dr Han instructed in hurry at me.

“No, I’ll stay. He’s my patient” I stubbornly refused.

“Hana, I’ll make sure he is alright.” Seungri said assuring me and with no hesitation he lifted my whole body off the floor. I struggled to fend him off.

“Put me down.” I kicked the air while my hands wouldn’t let go of Seunghyun’s clothes, holding it close to my face. Once outside of the exam room he put me down on my feet and stood blocking me from entering.

“I promise we’ll do our best.” He solemnly said.

Seungri turned around to reenter the room leaving me alone in the chilly hospital corridor, helpless. I couldn’t contain my feelings anymore, I cried my eyes out of worry. I sat on the cold hard ground as I leaned my back against the wall. I muffled my sobs into the pieces of his jacket. Why was I crying over a patient? What is wrong with me? I couldn’t understand my own feelings. I touched the charm of my necklace, more tears rained onto my knees. I can’t lose him, it can’t end if it hasn’t begun.

I felt my body being pulled into a tight embrace. So I looked up to see my four best friends staring at me with concern while Bom had her arms wrapped around my shoulders.

“I don’t know why I’m so attached to a patient.” I chuckled wiping away my tears, trying to look composed and well.

“It’s because you love him Hana. Deep down in your heart, even you know it but you’re brain is trying so hard not to that you get confused. It’s time to admit it to yourself.” Bom explained passionately at me.

“Aniyo, I can’t love a patient that way.” I refuted.

“Then why did you kiss him?”

“I don’t know.”

“It was your heart’s way of telling him you love him, even if your brain refuses to admit it.”

I stayed silent, staring into nothingness as the girls huddled around me on the floor of the hospital corridor. Bom’s words were playing itself in my head. It was somehow a wakeup call to me, helping me understand myself.

Seunghyun’s POV

I opened my eyes and the white ceiling welcomed my blurred vision. Is this what death feels like, were the first thought that lingered my mind. I lifted my wrist and saw tubes connected into my veins. I turned to my right and saw those familiar heart monitors that I can practically call family after seeing it numerous times for the past few years. Weird looking tubes were connected into my nose as it expels air into my lungs. I sighed, a small part of me was frustrated that I was still alive. I thought I died because I couldn’t really remember anything that happened to me. The last thing I could recall was watching Hana walk away towards her friends. Hana. I wondered where she was. I looked at the table beside me and saw my phone along with the rest of my things from the cloths I last wore and my wallet. On the armchair next to my bed was a sunshine yellow blanket properly folded and next to the chair, placed on the floor was a familiar red backpack. I looked to the bag and questioned. I looked up towards the door when I heard it slide open.

“You’re finally awake!” Dr Han happily greeted as he stepped in followed Hana. Her long black hair was tied simply into a ponytail, her pink cheeks didn’t glow healthily like they usually do instead they looked pale and the eye bags under her eyes suggested that she was beyond exhausted yet there was a glint of happiness in her eyes when I smiled at her.

“What happened to me?”

“You had a cardiac arrest due to flash pulmonary edema. Dr Im please explain to our patient what exactly that is and what we did to overcome it.” Dr Han instructed her.

Hana cleared and looked confidently at her superior.

“A cardiac arrest is when the heart stops pumping and in his condition it was because of a pulmonary edema which is the accumulation of fluids in the air spaces and parenchyma of the lungs. According to his charts, his medication was switched to nesserotide and was started on melrenome. And now he is currently put on BIPAP.”

I nodded pretending to understand what Hana just explained but honestly I couldn’t really comprehend the medicines they had put me on and I couldn’t care less. I was getting tired of this and I was hoping to die soon. The old man looked caringly at me without saying anything. It was as if he was deep in thought, silently observing me. I avoided Hana’s stare. I couldn’t face her anymore not like this.

“So what’s the bad news?” I asked my doctors. My tone showed that I was obviously disappointed.

He took off his glasses and rubbed his forehead with his fingers. The somber look was all over his face.

“Well, it is not good news. The fact is you need a new heart Seunghyun and you’re running out of time.”

I looked away and out at the window. I could clearly see the dark skies outside as it rained so heavily. Ironic how such a stormy weather that everyone tries to avoid can look so beautiful to me right now. The large raindrops pounded against the window, drumming in rhythm with every hit. I bit my lips, thinking of a response.

“I want time to run out.” I blurted absent mindedly speaking to myself aloud.

Suddenly Hana stomped her feet angrily on the floor, looking furiously at me.

“What are you talking about!” she exclaimed.

I turned and stared at her who fumed next to Dr Han.

“I’m just so sick and tired of waiting Hana. Day in day out it’s the same thing. Death happens on a daily basis like its nothing so I’ll just be another.”

“There are options Seunghyun. I was about to propose on installing a Left Ventricular Assist Device a.k.a LVAD. It’s a battery operated machine that helps your heart to pump.” Dr Han explained trying to reason logically with me.

I snorted in annoyance. A smirk formed on my face. Funny how the doctors can make it sound so easy.

“I knew it! This was just all part of your evil plans to turn humans into robots. You’re all trying to