Guilt

Baby, I'm not a Monster

{ AT HYORI'S HSE}

Hyori's phone vibrated signalling an incoming text. She sighed, knowing that it could not be Daesung, and opened up the message. It is from Jiyong.

 

It said " Noonaa, I have told Chaerin. We can have a normal relationship now, finally. Lets meet up at the usual place bae<333" She was happy, of course, but there was an unexplained uneasiness inside of her. 

 

From that day after meeting Daesung at the pub, she could not wash the image of him crying, and his soothing voice that comforted her everytime when she was feeling down.

 

She could have stopped the abrupt kiss that Jiyong planted on her that night, the night when she broke Dae's heart.

 

But she could not pull away, she was mesmerised by how dominating the leader's kiss was, how deep he was kissing. Unlike Daesung who always just give her a peck on .

 

She took the coat that was hanging from a chair and put in on. Together with sunglasses so that the paparazzis will not take much notice of her.

 

She walked to a nearby park, the park where she always had 'secret meetings' with the charasmatic leader of Bigbang

 

When she approached the hunched figure that was sitting under a bench, she notice that he was not feeling happy, unlike the feeling that he conveyed to her through the message. 

 

She sat down next to Jiyong and before she could even open , Jiyong said " Noona, I told Chaerin. I told her that my heart's been stolen by some girl and that love cannot be forced, why can't she just accept the fact that we are never going to be together and just leave me alone? Why must she cry?"

 

Hyori was shocked at Jiyong's outburst. It was their fault, both Jiyong and her, it wasn't Chaerin's fault. Love indeed cannot be forced, but it is not against the law to love somebody isn't it? 

 

Hyori spoke softly " Jiyong ah, it is normal to cry if someone you love so deeply break off with you like that..." Her words trailed off as she thought about how Daesung have tried to avoid her so many countless times.

 

Jiyong is more fortunate than her, at least Chaerin listened to whatever he had to say. But Daesung... he just...keeps avoiding the truth.

 

Jiyong looked at the daydreaming Hyori and said " Who the hell cares about them anyway, they are just so clingy, too frustrating.Chaerin.. she just pisses me off. It must be the same for you huh. The annoying Daesung that keeps clinging on to you. Lets just forget them shall we? Just enjoy life the way it is now." Jiyong held Hyori's hand and walked towards the direction of his Lamborgini. 

 

He have been wanting so much to hold her hand without the fear of Chaerin or Daesung knowing. But Hyori suddenly pulled her hand away and said " I am tired, I am going home first."

 

Jiyong looked at Hyori who was walking further and further away and without thinking much about it, he left.

 

<><><><><><><><> 

Hyori lied on her bed, staring at the cold ceiling, memories of the past started flooding in. Tears welled up in her eyes when she remembered a promise she made to Daesung during the year....2011.

 

FLASHBACK

Daesung was traumatised. He refused to let anyone enter his room, not even his parents, with the accident still freshed inside of his mind.

 

He could remember how he felt something blocking his brake, how his Audii crashed into the taxi infront of him, how he alighted and found out that there was a man lying beneath of his wheels, a pool of blood forming around him.

 

Soon after at the police station, the police officer told him that the person had succumbed to his injuries and passed away.

 

He just could not forgive himself. After returning to Bigbang's dorm all shaky, he had secretly checked the internet and was shocked to see the comments written by netizens.

 

Some asked him the purpose of him living and asked him to just die. Some called him murderer. He often asked himself if he should just die like how the public want him to, thinking that there will be no one by his side to care for him.

 

Finally, he could not stand the critism anymore and one night, when he thought nobody was awake, he opened the door and walked to the kitchen with no ounce of energy left inside of him.

 

He picked up a long kitchen knife and just when he was about to go back to his room to decide what he was going to do about himself with the kitchen knife, someone tightly hugged him from behind, causing him to drop the knife. The person dragged him towards his room.

 

Hyori had been sleeping in the living room of the Bigbang dorm, she was so worried. Its been days since Daesung last eaten and she was exhausted, after spending so much time persuading him to open his door.

 

She heard a door opened and immediately sat up. To her horror, she saw Daesung pick up a knife and immediately stopped him, pulling him into his room.

 

She was heartbroken, seeing the dying angel, with no life in his eyes, it was just tears and nothing else.

 

She hugged him, telling him that she will always be there for him, until a day when she dies. She kept Daesung company for the few weeks after that, with a constant promise that she would be there, by his side, no matter what happens. 

 

Daesung picked himself up and started attending the councelling and psychological sessions that he have missed in the past month, comforted that even if the whole world left him, Hyori would be there, protecting him.

End of flashback

Hyori cried at the thought of she making such an easy promise last time.

 

She was ready to spend her rest of her life with this man. 

 

But what changed her feelings towards Daesung?

 

Or was the feeling always there? Just that it was a moment of folly?

 


 

Anyways BONUSSS 

 

Chaerin and Daesungg~~ this rare moment^^ She is holding Dae's arm ;00  ( from nona9on 1st party in seoul)

 

Cute smiless ^0^ 

 

Smiling angelss <333

 

Some moments from mama 2013.

 

Shy moments^^

CF filming

Cuteeee^^

 

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Comments

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babyda91
#1
Chapter 29: Omg.. i hate Jiyong here & Hyori annoying me
kbig9g #2
Chapter 28: Ohmy thx for the update! I cant wait for more!
kbig9g #3
Chapter 27: OMG!!! What are they going to do??? I cant wait!
kbig9g #4
Chapter 24: Update pleaseee!
kbig9g #5
Please!!! Author nim, let my dae walk again!!! And i love daerin!!!
cursedxponies #6
Chapter 24: Must you? Seriously? HOW EVIL OF YOU! Why do dis to daesung omfg pls dont let him die author nim
KPVIP26
#7
Chapter 24: That gif tho (dae dae and the baby girl) >>>> KANG DAESUNG BE MY BABY DADDYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JannyAh
#8
Chapter 24: Jiyong is wrong with this story...I don't like.
CL and Daesung poor... :(
update pleaseee....and yes...try to make the longest chapters...they are very short :(
Riiinko #9
Chapter 23: Can you update longer... Feels like each one is a few sentences
kirasg #10
I so shipping daerin lol