Mark didn't know where to start, or who to begin with. This was supposed to be a time for talking and explaining, not staring in silence. It seemed that neither Jackson or Jinyoung planned on talking any time soon. So much for talking. He decided to start things off.

"Look, I am very disappointed. You know very well that violence will never be the answer. You two should know better."

"Sorry" They answered in unison. At least, he got them to finally talk.

"Also" He pursed his lips. "Jinyoung's words, were they true?" He asked, lowering his head a little. It was Jackson who answered.

"It was. Jinyoung said you were the perfect candidate."

"I'm sorry, Mark. It was all me. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be in this mess right now." He sighed and shook his head.

"Don't blame yourself too much. If it weren't for the both of you, my Dad would've been dead by now. So, thank you." They seemed to be taken aback a little with the sudden gentleness in his voice. "But, I felt like a toy. A toy being pulled in both directions by children."

Their faces fell on the floor. He wasn't that much angry anymore. He was mostly disappointed. These two guys in front of him were brawling like hooligans, all because of him. And their friendship was at the brink of being destroyed, also all thanks to him. It was stupid. Cute, but not the point.

"Look, you two need to settle things, once and for all. I won't be saying anything for now. I don't even want to choose." Because god, why was he even in this situation? Choosing one, would lose the other. He didn't want to hurt anybody. "Fix your friendship. You two act like complete strangers, just because of me. I don't want that, I never wanted that."

"Mark-" But he cut Jinyoung off.

"Don't be like this, I'm not worth it."

"Mark-" This time, it was Jackson he cut off. 

"Talk, please? I'll be in my room. Call me if you finally agreed on something." He rushed to his room, leaning at the door as he closed it.

The silence of his room was defeaning, but the ghost of his actions broke the temporary stillness of his environment. He really wanted for them to talk.

Or maybe, it was because of something else.

Maybe, he was scapegoating.

Maybe, he was using this as an excuse, because he didn't want to choose or lose anyone. He never wanted anyone to get hurt. 

That was Mark Tuan for you. He'd rather suffer than make someone else suffer.

*** 

After an hour of wallowing in his worisome thoughts and self-pity, he noticed the calmness of their apartment. 

It was too quiet. 

No one was coming to get him, what was happening outside? Were they okay?

That was when he decided to check. He carefully twisted his door knob. He could hear murmurs, though he couldn't make out what they were talking about.

Mark felt a little relieved.

At least, they were being real mature about this. Their talk seemed to be going pretty well. So, he decided to go back to his room. 

"Mark?" He stopped in his tracks.

"H-hey" He awkwardly chuckled. "I was just- I mean- I didn't hear anything. Don't worry." He quickly defended. Wait, were they chuckling?

"It's okay." Jackson waved a hand. "We're done talking."

"So, you don't have to worry about anything." Jinyoung reassured.

"Ohh, okay. So, are you two-"

"We talked" Jackson stated

"We had an agreement." Jinyoung added.

"Are you sure?" He was a bit skeptical, but the two agreed. They seemed to be okay. "That's good."

"Well, we better get going. You should go rest." That disappointed him a little.

"Okay." He pouted. 

Though, he could feel something was up. These two had other things planned, he was sure. 

"Good night, Mark." Jackson said.

"Sleep tight." Jinyoung smiled at him, though, it seemed to be a little stiff.

He was really sure, something was really up. He was also curious to what they agreed on, but he didn't want to intervene or anything. So, he shrugged it off.

He gave the two a weak smile. "Yeah, good night."

With that, they left.

He retreated back to his room and threw himself to bed. Even though they were gone, he could still hear the ghost of their voices. It was a little lonely.

He forgot to tell Jackson that he didn't need they money anymore. Not that he wanted to cut of their deal, especially with the current issues with Jackson's family. He just wanted to establish that no money was needed anymore. He would help him for free. It was the least he could do.

He suddenly realized something. He hadn't mentioned anything about forgiving the two. They apologized, and Mark accepted it, but he hadn't really said anything about forgiving them.

Maybe, he couldn't really forgive them, at least for now. He was still hurt. His anger evolved into disappointment. 

But, what was he expecting? He was a nobody, a no one, a person not worthy of noticing.

Somebody Jackson can ever fall in love with. As Jinyoung described. That was Mark Tuan.

Here he was again, drowning in his own negative thoughts. Insecurity would always be a person's biggest enemy.

He was afraid.

Afraid he would lose someone.

Afraid he would love for the first time.