YongGuk

It’s been about two weeks since JiEun moved in. And things haven’t really gotten better between her and JunHong. It’s not that she doesn’t like it him, no she told JongUp that she thinks he is cute – like anyone would, he is adorable. But it was really… JunHong didn’t want anything to do with her.

We never told him to leave her alone. We never set that as a rule. But he did it anyway. He would leave early to ride his skateboard to school, eating whatever HimChan served for breakfast without complaint, and would arrive in time for dinner, skateboard and homework tucked under his arm. He would answer JiEun’s questions with simple single word sentences. He wouldn’t look at her, just eat and would barely acknowledge JongUp. After he would wash up and disappear to his room.

We all knew what he did there from nine till five, but JiEun said she felt like she was intruding on a friendship.

“No!” I say, smiling and waving my hands, “He is just like that…”

Normally, I would have said with ‘new people’, but really, JiEun wasn’t new to any of us. JongUp talked about her non-stop and constantly read her letters allowed when they arrived.

JiEun sighs and picks at her food, pushing it aside with her fork. Even though she was half-Korean she hadn’t been taught how to use them by her mother. She said her dad’s family were extremely racist and didn’t believe in chopsticks. I actually questioned her Korean skills… She said her dad allowed it because it helped with business.

“Are you sure…?” She questions one night at dinner, after JunHong has left. “I feel as though I need to wave a white flag and buy his favourite food… And I don’t even know what it is…”

She drops her fork on to the plate and I can see HimChan jump from the corner of my eye, at the clatter of metal on percaline. I reach over under the table and his thigh. He relaxes and continues eating his black bean noodles.

DaeHyun looks down at his bowl.

I look at him, frowning, “What is it?”

“He is jealous.” DaeHyun mutters, before shoving his mouth full of noodles, and slapping away YoungJae’s chopsticks as he scrounges for more.

“There is more in the kitchen Jae…” HimChan says before eating again.

The table remains silent as we all chew for a few moments.

“Jealous of what?” JiEun mutters as she swirls more noodles onto her fork. “We should call him Zelo… Greek god jealous of nothing…”

We all laugh, and with his mouth spilling over with noodles, DaeHyun laughs the loudest.

“Zelo?!”

She nods, chewing slowly, serious look on her face. HimChan reaches over and smacks DaeHyun on the back of the head.

“Manners. Use them.”

The two younger male members laugh louder at this as DaeHyun rubs his head, muttering about how it hurt.

I just smile. I am glad that they all get along. But I am still worried about JunHong… About how he was becoming Zelo…

JunHong

It had been weeks since I had been able to study in the kitchen, and as everyone was out of the house, I finally could. The others are all out doing things, Gukkie, Channie and Jae Hyung are doing the grocery shopping, DaeHyun, JongUp and JiEun were out… somewhere… I really don’t know where they go when JongUp takes her out. Sometimes they come home with Baskin Robin’s ice cream, they bring me some too. Even though I try to shut JiEun out, she is still really nice to me…

My English language textbook sits open against several other textbooks. In front of me, my work book and a work sheet that we had been given at school on Friday. English was hard, but it is my favourite subject. If I were to ever have a girlfriend, I would want here to be good at English so she could teach me. I would like to have a girlfriend one day…

I smile and feel my cheeks heat up at the thought of having someone to be close with me… To teach me in areas that I am not good at, while I teach her how to skate, holding her waist as she balances on the board and walking along with her loosely holding her hands as she moves forward… Not that I could allow any of that to ever happen...

I sigh and shut the textbook, having already completed the worksheet for tomorrow. I put everything to the side, the text book, the workbook, the sheet of paper. And move on to the next subject; Mathematics.

Maths isn’t hard once I understand it. It’s just… The numbers mess with my head. They form one large string of incoherent nonsense. One large line of numbers that strike my frontal lobe, making it tighten, sting and soon, not too long after I have started reading or working out a problem I have a head ache.

If I use words instead of numbers it doesn’t stress me out so much. But still, it’s hard to have to write out – for example – 9 x 9 = 81 as nine times nine equals eighty one. I first go from numbers, then to words and then have to get JongUp or DaeHyun to write it out in numbers for me. It’s a pain, but it doesn’t give me such a sore head.

Sighing, I scratch my wrist, stretch and get to work. Opening my Maths book to the right exercise and flicking through my workbook trying to find an empty space for me to write it.

Not even two questions in and I can feel someone breathing down my neck, I gasp and turn slowly, quickly shutting my book at the sight of JiEun. She smiles and scratches the back of her neck.  

“Did I startle you?” She asks, her voice has a nervous laugh behind it and I quickly bite my tongue as blood rushes to my cheeks.

I give a single nod and turn to start packing up. I can’t work with her around, I might give away something. I might break one of my rules. One of Gukkie Hyung’s rules…

My workbook is snatched away and JiEun is flipping through it.

“I like your hand writing, Zelo.”

I blink at her. She doesn’t ask any questions about the Mathematic work. Hang on… Did she just call me…? “J…Jell-O?”

She giggles and hands my book back to me, resting her arms against the chair opposite me, leaning down. “Not Jell-O, Zelo. He is the god of jealousy and rivalry. I decided that I shall call you that. Mainly because of something DaeHyun said… But it is now my nickname for you.”

“W…Why…?” I find myself muttering. I keep looking across at her, trying to look away from her in her low cut top and high waisted shorts. I don’t want to look at her while she is dressed like that... I don’t want to on the girl that is probably waiting for JongUp to ask her out… But too be perfectly honest, I have never seen a girl dressed like this so close before.

She shrugs, and looks at her hands, picking at her finger nails. “Zelo…” She starts; finally she looks up, a slight sadness in her eyes, “Why are you avoiding me?”

Looking down at my pile of books, I shift in my seat. I should tell her that I am not ignoring her. That I don’t avoid her. That I am just not allowing myself to let her in, because if I do I don’t know what might happen. But I don’t. Instead, I continue to look down, guilt riding in my stomach.

“That’s okay. Just… No… It’s fine. I invaded your space…” She smiles, and shuffling her feet before resting her eyes on my Mathematics textbook. “Can I look at this?”

“Why…?” I don’t mean to sound rude, it just comes out that way, I curse at myself for being so harsh.

“I…” She shuffles her feet, “I didn’t do well in my class… I need to catch up on some stuff I didn’t understand in high school… Is that okay with you?”

I nod and let her take it. She smiles and opens the cover. “Don’t move back to your room just ‘because I’m here, okay Jell-O?” She giggles and warmth spreads through my chest. She flicks through the book, nodding at something and sets it back down. “I think Jell-O is much cuter than Zelo, don’t you?” another giggle, “I’ll go now.”

And with that she skips away upstairs, leaving me – once again – alone at the kitchen table.